>The Great E-Mail Takeover
>My daughter would like to join your rec soccer team, the mom e-mailed. We’re new in town. Is it too late to sign her up?
No, my husband wrote back. You can get a form from her high school coach. Have her bring him a check for $65 and I’ll make sure it gets turned in.
Where are the fields? the mom responded almost immediately. And what’s the game schedule? We don’t have any information.
Maybe it would be better if you give me a call, Hubs e-mailed back.
Nothing.
On Friday, Hub called the mom’s cell phone number, listed at the bottom of her e-mail. “Hi,” he said. “I’d really like Mandy to play tomorrow if she wants to. Just uh, give me a call and I can give you directions and figure out which position she can play.”
Nothing.
Finally, the morning of the game, Mandy e-mailed, wanting to know if she could at least come and watch.
“This is like The Twilight Zone,” Hubs said exasperatedly. “What is the big deal about using a phone? I’ve got two games to coach today. I don’t have time to e-mail.”
Do you not have a phone? Hubs wrote back quickly. I am not on the computer this morning.
The fields are on exit 196. It would be easier to tell you on the phone. I am leaving in 5 minutes.
She didn’t show. The next day, Hubs tried Mandy’s mom again. This time, she answered.
“You know, I really prefer to be contacted by e-mail,” she said.
“Uh huh. I coach 32 girls and I hardly ever have time to sit down at my home computer,” Hubs replied. “I need to talk to you over the phone at least once.”
Duh.
Since when did it become acceptable to insist on on conducting business, particularly relating to your child, by e-mail only? I mean, I like e-mail as much as the next person, but if it’s not working for the other party for whatever reason, you’d better believe I’ll take his/her call. And if you don’t want people calling you, why list your phone number beneath your e-mail signature?
Is it just me, or do people get stranger every day?
>I’m very very guilty of this. I go off on tangents because in my *new* small town, most businesses don’t have websites. “How the hell am I supposed to know their number if they don’t have a website? What about their menu???” I very much prefer to be contacted “electronically”, because I DO sit at the computer all day – and I work in a cube farm where everyone is really just an arm’s length and a cloth wall from me. For personal calls, I have to get a meeting room. Also, I hate taking calls in the couple hours I have at home each night. HOWEVER, I do not get pissy when someone calls me or when I have to call someone else. I understand that not everyone uses the computer like I do. Haha, if I emailed The Man, he wouldn’t know it for weeks!!(This is also a symptom of SR. I have it. I know. There is no help.)
>I’m willing to bet she has a problem remembering things, and wants someone *else* to write it down and send it to her so she can remember, rather than taking the responsibility to write it down herself. That way if she forgets, she can use the excuse that she never got the information.
>While email is convenient for me, I do feel at times I rely on it too much and it causes people to not interact in person at times. But please, if your husband asked her to call him and she didn’t, that is just wrong – and rude. Afterall, she initiated the contact – trying to get her daughter on the team.
>I can understand initially contacting him via email…but then when he calls why wouldn’t she answer? or at least try to get it figured out via phone??It’s another sign of our society’s inability to communicate with each other unless we are protected by a computer.Ugh!
>I also rely on email as my main way of communication. With all of our family out of town it is much easier and cheaper to shute out an email on the computer. Our daughter is in preschool it is her teacher’s main source of updating parents with class room information. She goes to a public school and email cuts down on paper costs. I am in a moms club and email is the way they set up activities and playdates. Our church even sends updates and emails with prayer request. Until I read your post I never thought a thing about it bothering some people. I will try to be more mindful.
>Heck with the phone!Are you still pregnant?! Dying of suspense!
>I bet she receives her email on her cell phone or blackberry and text messages back so she can get the information no matter where she is. NOT making an excuse for her but I bet that is the way she communicates back and forth with people so quickly with email.
>I am one step shy of being that mother… I will phone if I absolutely have to, the rest of the time, I avoid it like the plague.
>She can ‘prefer’ whatever she wants. I would to have someone come and pick up my son for soccer 3x a week. However. if I want him to play, I have to get real about it.People can be so self-centered.
>I went out on a date with this guy who prefered to be contacted (and I guess date) electronically only!He would e-mail me that for example he would call me next week. If I called him, he would apologize and hang up and later on e-mail me with an explanation (that he was busy).What has happened to people?
>i think email is the shy or phonephobic person’s dream! not saying everyone who chooses this method of communication is shy or phonephobic, but it might explain this behavior for some people (namely that dude ms. b. dated), and email is their way of being heard without the stress of…being heard. i don’t know. just a suggestion.
>wow…hehe I mean I know emails are very convenient and all but you still gotta interact with the world!! LOL ugh I’m so sad we moved away from Bellevue 🙁 My daughter played soccer over there for like 5 years. Sometimes it IS better to talk in emails though….man I know sometimes it’s easier to talk to my mother in law through emails (wink) HAHA
>Im guilty of this…I hate using the phone and would much rather use email…its also a good way to keep track of what has been said. I also tent to get snappy with people..so Im doing it for their own good. If I must talk on the phone 95% of the time I make my husband do it. Also…..Im guessing the eggplant did NOT work….surprise, surprise.
>I prefer e-mails, too- but this was ridiculous. If someone calls me and says it would be much easier to have one conversation on the phone about a new soccer team, I’m not going to refuse contact with him/her over it. I think this mom went way too far with her e-mail desires. And again, why put her phone number on her e-mail signature if she’s going to get into a snit about receiving phone calls?No baby yet, obviously. The eggplant still technically has a few more hours to work its magic, butI’m not getting my hopes up. Anyway, baby’s the last thing on my mind today- I got another migraine last night and made the mistake of not taking painkillers (since I’m so close to my due date). I spent the entire night lying awake, feeling like I’d been shot in the head. Damn. So close to the end- I was sure the migraines were gone for good!
>I prefer email, but if someone asked me to call them, I would. Ignoring your husbands request to call when he was trying to help her out wasn’t very nice.
>I prefer phone v. email but then I’m a dinosaur
>I am also one step away from being her. Once I actually get on the phone I’m 95% OK, but convincing myself to make the call is terrifying, and I’ll often just drop whatever it is to avoid the call. I’ve even tried to interview homebirth midwives through email. But if I included my phone number, I probably wouldn’t freak out if the person called me.
>I don’t really think this is an issue of email vs. phone. It’s just common sense. You want your kid to play? You are begging for your kid to get the opportunity? Then for crap’s sake, use your phone. Or email. Or freaking morse code, if that’s what the coach needs you to do. Whatever it takes to get the information you need. You can’t ask a favor of someone and then start making demands. That’s just not how it works.
>Hmm. I can’t help but wonder if the lady might be deaf or hard of hearing? I’m deaf myself and always dread it when someone asks me to contact them by phone, because then I have to use the relay (which usually makes the call ten times as long and very painful for both ends). And yes, I usually try to avoid mentioning that I’m deaf because some people will then treat me like the plague (as if deafness were contagious!). However, I’m assuming if this were the case, she wouldn’t have her cell phone number in her email signature.
>When they finally talked on the phone, everything was fine. It’s like I said- I realize it’s more socially “difficult” for any people to talk on the phone, but sometimes, you just buck up and make (or accept) the phone call. You just do. It’s not an outrageous request, particularly when the whole thing is as last minute as it was in this case. To drop the whole thing after Hubs went to a lot of trouble to get her daughter signed up- just because she “preferred” e-mail? Was sort of insane.
>the thing with email is…if you ignore an email or forget to do something requested in an email, you can always say “oh…I never got the email. Maybe it went into spam.” But if the phone rings, and you answer it (caller ID notwithstanding) you are stuck dealing with the person right away – you can’t put them off until YOU want to deal. You have to do what needs to be done RIGHT THEN.I’d rather talk on the phone.
>Man, I hate using the phone, but if someone asks me to call, I call. That’s just common sense and politeness. If I had my way, I’d never have to use the phone again, though. Blah. Phones.
>So my sister-in-law is a major offender of this. Their voice mail always picks up and no one ever returns the call. Email however you can get an answer in 5 min or less. She is a stay at home mom, there really is no rhyme of reason to it. I figure you play the same game when they need you. She typically emails me, which I ignore until she calls. My other brother took the notion not to return their calls for a while. They now answer family every time. I guess it’s a little different when it’s family though.
>Ah yes, I love email correspondence too. BUT the phone is much more effecient. I loved this post. It really hits home.
>LOL! Sorry, but laugh is about all I can do. I run across this all the time…and it’s just as puzzling to me as it is to you and your Hubby! I’ve been reduced to shrugging my shoulders, shaking my head and then giggling helplessly!
>I would totally be this woman if I lived in a country where most people used email. Unfortunately, my SIL doesn’t understand about the internet. Or else she’s pretending because she knows I’d use it to wedge a giant gap between us.I get annoyed when my CLIENTS call me on the phone. But I answer. They are my clients, after all. Heh.
>I do like the conevnience of email as much as the next person, but you need to draw the line somewhere, like when someone leaves you a PHONE message. Duh!Hope the baby is here soon!Carrie
>One of your commenters said he’s a dinosaur and therefore prefers phones.Well, I’m a dinosaur, too, and I’ll take email any day.I’ve never yet been called out of the bathroom to answer an email! (But, yes, I agree, the mom here took it to an extreme….)Good luck with the blessed event.
>You know, I can see being a bit socially phobic – hell, I am, too. But get over it and pick up the freaking phone. It’s so much easier than having to talk to people IN PERSON.In particular, I think it’s much easier to work past my foibles when my children are concerned.
>”I am one step shy of being that mother… I will phone if I absolutely have to, the rest of the time, I avoid it like the plague.” Ditto. I have a pathetic case of phone phobia.
>I think your husband went way beyond the call of duty by following up repeatedly. She can’t want her daughter to participate that badly if she has to be followed up with at all…like she’s doing your husband some kind of favor by donating her precious daughter’s time to his team. Yuck!
>I myself am a phone-o-phobe. I (almost)always prefer email if it’s an option. That being said, I DO think it’s a bit much for someone to demand that you communicate with them via email. And to answer your question, “Do people get stranger every day?” YES! The more I learn about people, the more I am convinced that at least half the population just plain sucks. *wink*YES, that was an exaggeration on my part! Intended!
>Thank you for making me appreciate the parents on both of the teams that Hubby coaches and I help with…. YIKES! You made me grateful — thank you!
>Oh God do I HATE the phone. I hate it so much that I most often have the ringer turned off during the day and only check messages at night. Everyone knows they can use email to reach me – including my husband and my kids’ teachers. I HATE the phone!
>the fact she lists her phone number is definitely the weird part. Maybe she has like one of those tracheotomy voice box thingies?
>The fact you havent posted in 2 days leads me to believe that a baby is either 1) in your arms or 2) making his way into the world. Send us news!!! 🙂
>haha! I know!!
>I think people have really gotten use to not interacting personally. And that’s sad. That lady does sound odd, though. So, did Mandy play or at least go watch?
>Ok, ok. But what about the dishy author of this joint? On a scale of one to ten how much do you hate the, “Oh, you must be ready to pop?” queeries at the store? (I consider myself above reproach ’cause I bared my belly for Petroville’s homage to the overdue goddess and when I get pregnant again I’ll send you more) and are you at the point where people are unable to look away from the belly? And am I a total ass and you’re already at the hospital and I am the only buffoon who hasn’t figured that out?Either way, I wish you luck, health and the good fortune of being in the bathroom for the first three up the back poop explosions.
>It’s been a couple days now so that means the baby is here and trying to get here. It also means you forgot the laptop. LOL!!Thinking of you and the family. Can’t wait to hear about it all.
>Did you have the baby today? Did you name it Benjamin? I always wanted a son named Benjamin, but I didn’t have enough boys.Oh, if it’s a girl, Benjamina is okiay, I guess.
>Am I craving eggplant now to induce your labor? Is this some weird sympathetic craving? I mean, I’ve eaten it every chance I got since you posted this. Good luck!Leo G
>What, you didn’t liveblog the birth? I just “heard” the news over at Sista’s place, congrats, Lindsay!
>Where is this Sista’s place???*pulls out hair*
>My husband tried to contact me from his biz trip yesterday via my blog comments. He knew I wouldn’t respond to home phone, cell phone, email or telepathy. How sad my lack of communic. has become.
>Oh – someone mentioned in these comments that calling is just commen sense and politeness. I think the world is running short on those two attributes, no?
>Ivy- Nevermind, I found Sista’s place via Lindsey’s links…. thanks for the heads up. I missed the news this evening and didn’t get a chance to hear the announcement.
>Did the eggplant work a few days late? I have been compulsively checking your site for news of the new baby! Hope all is well. Miss you.
>Just read comments now. Heading to over to read all about it!
>Congratulations! You should call that lady on the phone to let her know the good news!
>Well, I’m just dumb or something, because I can’t find it!So…Best Wishes, Lindsay and Family!!!
>s’ok burfly i cant wither, but i will keep looking!!
>found it http://sistasmiff.wordpress.com/
>haha…thanks, bp!!!!Yay, Lindsay! Way to grow ’em!!!
>OMG!No wonder she couldn’t blog! She had a 10 lb baby! I dont have kids. But I always wonder how these brave women give birth to big babies! I hope your epidural worked as well as you wanted it!
>Congrats Lindsay & family!! Just read about your sweet new boy on BusyMom…. Hope you’re doing well, Momma!