The Many Faces of Poo Poo

I should have seen this coming back when Punky was barely two and one of the older girls received a set of multicolored rubber iPod covers. Punky immediately claimed the iPod covers as her own, treating each of them as though it had a distinct personality. She spent the next two weeks lovingly carrying them with her wherever she went, feeding them, talking to them, even sleeping with them at night. Oh, she had plenty of dolls and stuffed animals. But she preferred the iPod covers.

Now that she’s three, all kinds of inanimate objects around our house speak and have feelings just like the rest of us, thanks to Punky. The den coffee table is a rather dull type, while the rocking chair in her room appears to be just one creak away from a total emotional meltdown. And then there’s the food- specifically, the Pigs in Blankets, which Punky likes to make herself.

“Oh! I’m so cold!” she’ll shriek in a tiny voice, holding up a tiny hotdog. “What am I gonna do? I’m freezing!”

“Don’t worry, piggie,” she answers herself reassuringly after I lay out a piece of crescent roll dough for her. “Here’s a nice warm blanket. I’ll wrap you up in it.”

“Oh, that’s a good idea. Now I’m warm. Thank you.”

Once all the piggies are in their blankets, they shout goodbye to Punky before going in the oven- That’s my cue.

“Bye bye, Punky! Bye!” I squeak, showing her the baking stone full of pigs in blankets. “We’re going to get warm now so you can eat us!”

“Bye,” she’ll say happily. “Now you piggies be good in the oven!”

Yes, in this Wonderland of talking furniture, food and iPod covers, everything has a personality. Including poo poo.

Some of you may remember when I discovered that giving Poo Poo a backstory was just what Punky needed to start depositing said Poo Poo in the potty, rather than her diaper. As it turned out, that was only the beginning.

These days, Punky is 100% potty trained, but she still has a soft spot for ole’ Poo Poo. Poo Poo still likes to bid a fond farewell to all of us before joining his (rather large extended) family in the sewer. Even more importantly, Punky has discovered that, like snowflakes, no two poo poos are alike.

“Mommy!” she whooped the other day, prompting me to drop my bon bons and run to the bathroom where she stood peering into the potty. It’s “Letter Poo Poo!” She danced around excitedly. “It’s U Poo Poo! Or maybe V Poo Poo!”

I stared at it for a moment. “I think it’s U Poo Poo,” I said finally.

The next day brought more squeals from the bathroom. “MOMMY! I made a Telephone Poo Poo!” Dutifully, I came to examine it. It did bear a striking resemblance to her toy telephone receiver. “Wow, Punky,” I said, impressed. “You sure do know how to make Poo Poo!” “I know,” she said proudly.

Since then, Rock Poo Poo and Log Poo Poo both have paid their respects. Yesterday, Sword Poo Poo showed up. And on one slightly disturbing day, a rare and endangered Leopard Poo Poo made an appearance. Sometimes it takes us a minute or so to identify which Poo Poo we’re looking at. But we manage.

“Is it a Lego Poo Poo?” Punky asks softly.

“I think it’s a Mini Cooper Poo Poo,” I respond after examining it from a different angle.

“Oh,” she says, nodding solemnly.

And that’s when I realize how far I’ve come in the last ten years.

Lindsay Ferrier: News reporter. Anchor. Television Writer. Mommyblogger.

Interpreter of Poo Poo.