I'm Lindsay Ferrier, a Nashville writer with a passion for family travel, exploring Tennessee, and raising kids without losing my mind in the process. This is where I share my discoveries, along with occasional deep thoughts, pop culture tangents and a sprinkling of snark. Want to get in touch? Use the CONTACT form at the top of the page.
August 11, 2015
You say ‘back to school’…
I say GAME ON!
We moms have spent a lazy summer Facebooking inspirational quotes, shuttling our kids back and forth from day camps, and Instagramming daily photos of our knees at the subdivision pool.
Now that we’ve caught up on sleep and season three of Orange is the New Black, we’re ready to head back into the ring of competitive motherhood, otherwise known as SCHOOL.
Yes, moms! It is time now to handcraft those teachers’ gifts! Festoon your homes with thoughtful back-to-school decor! Marinate and deglaze some organic, gluten-free classroom snacks! Order those monogrammed and hand-embroidered back-to-school clothes! Create highly pinnable homework nooks in your kitchens!
Get a jump-start on winning the school year now and the other mothers will never be able to catch up. YOU KNOW THIS. Now act!
Need a little help getting started? That’s what PINTEREST is for! Here are 20 back-to-school ideas that will basically guarantee your election as PTO president. Or, at the very least, Box Tops Chairman.
Have your kid’s teacher fill out this questionnaire on the first day of school! It’s not like she has anything else to do… LOLOLOL!
Let the magical First Day of School Fairy bring school supplies to your children! Because the Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus, the Elf on the Shelf, the Easter Bunny, the Switch Witch, and the Birthday Elf AREN’T ENOUGH.
Make elaborate creative breakfasts at 6am each and every morning! Because all the other moms are doing it! Right? Right?
Use this handy dandy checklist to make sure you get every single photo you can possibly take on the first day of school! Remember how you cried for hours last year after forgetting to take a photo of your kid’s pencil box? That DEFINITELY won’t happen now that you have this checklist!
Hand out DIY gifts to all of your child’s classmates! This goes over ESPECIALLY well with ninth graders!
Make sure that every single item in your child’s lunch is personalized and color-coordinated!
Buy your kid lots of handmade, personalized back-to-school outfits off of Etsy! Bonus points if your kid is a teenager. Extra lives if his name is Sebastian.
And this outfit? This outfit will earn you a full LEVEL UP.
Stay up until 2am turning your kid’s supplies into a School Supply Cake! Cry when the teacher dismantles it immediately after you’ve carried it into your son’s classroom singing “Happy Back-To-School to you!”
Always, always, ALWAYS write a message on your kid’s banana. If you don’t, how will she know that you love her?
Make this super-creative picture frame for your kid’s new teacher! See if any of the kids manage to follow its instructions during the school year! Tee hee!
Be twee and ironic by sending your child to school with a vintage abacus instead of a calculator!
Wake up your daughter an hour early every morning and give her a hairdo the other girls will never forget!
Decorate your home with your child’s school supplies! When she tells you she needs them for class, just say she’ll have to wait until you pull out the Halloween decorations in October!
Hand out erasers to your kid’s classmates that are wrapped up like candy! If you’re lucky, they’ll try to eat them! What a riot!
Stuff socks, hotel shampoos, and whatever else you can find into a soda bottle and give it to your kid’s teacher as a back-to-school gift! Wondering how she’ll get it all out? Well, that’s not really your problem now, is it?
Make sure all of your child’s school supplies are monogrammed! And I do mean ALL!
Make a fake cake out of pencils and rubber bands! This is absolutely not an appalling waste of your time!
Or? Make a REAL pencil cake! Because EVERYBODY CRAVES A DELICIOUS PENCIL CAKE!
Stock up on back-to-school knives! You never know when you might need them!