>A Message from the Dark Side, UPDATED
>I got an e-mail from a pageant mom today, who says my Nashville Scene column is “running rampant in the pageant circles.” If that’s the case, it’s even more interesting to me that although this post about the pageants inspired well over a hundred commenters to personally rip glitz baby pageants a new one, not one person has shown up here daring to defend them. But whatever.
Anyway, although she found my column “snarky” (yes!) and “lopsided” (hell, I just wrote what I saw), she nicely offered to have a friendly discussion via e-mail from someone on the other side of the pageant lifestyle. Obviously, I have questions for her and I’m sure you do too. So I’m opening it up to you guys, as well. If you have any questions for a real, live pageant mom, put them in the comments of this post and I’ll send them her way in my e-mail.
Oh, and before you go, check out Mamarazzi and meet Hollywood’s most fashionably-challenged soccer mom.
**But wait! There’s more!
Check out the Letters section of the Scene, in which the pageant lovers speak out! This has to be the all-time best mail I’ve ever received, particularly the one with the line “Just have to say, we love pageants and love fake eyelashes, fake hair, lots of makeup and fake teeth. Love our coach and hair and makeup artists. As long as McKinley wants to compete, we will.” (By the way, McKinley’s Mama, I made up a name so that your poor little girl wouldn’t be embarrassed by this debate when she’s older and Googles herself. But now that you’ve put her name out there, that idea is pretty much shot to hell. Also. “Wants to compete?” She just turned TWO. She’s not even potty trained yet. What the fuck are you talking about?)
For that matter, what the fuck are any of these letter-writers talking about? These girls aren’t “straight-A students” or “accomplished musicians.” They’re toddlers. And preschoolers. And as for glitz pageants being the same as cheerleading and dance competitions? Okay, then where’s the fake hair, fake teeth and bikinis? Gah!
>I’d just basically like to know why they do it? Why subject toddlers to this insanity? Is it all about the money? Why make them sit for hours getting make-up on, hair done, tanning sprays and even those weird teeth you mentioned. It just seems so bizzare to dress your 2-3 year old up as older women. I just don’t get it. It really seems abusive to me. It looks like they’re prostituting out their little girls. Very shameful…
>I want to know how they sleep at night knowing that they are making their little girls look like whores and in the process making their kid the object of a pedophile’s “affection”?
>I can pretty much tell you what I think the response will be…that the pageants instill valuable skills (interviewing, fitness, talents, etc.) and self-confidence in their children, as well as giving them the opportunity to dress up like all little girls do…(One of my deepest secrets is that I was a winner of a local pageant when I was 16. I am totally NOT the pageant type and have taken great pains to ensure that no one outside of my hometown knows about my “princess” experience…since y’all don’t know my coworkers, etc. I am sharing here but it’s not something that I’m overly proud of…)
>How can pageant moms justify saying “but she loves it!” when talking about a “contestant” under three years old? If that’s all the contestant knows, and she gets a cookie or a toy when she performs, perhaps it’s the cookie or the toy or the parental approval she loves? And if she loves it so much, why are so many of the contestants bribed with cookies or toys for performing?Also, what “skills” can pageants instill that can’t be instilled in a healthier, more age-appropriate and bettr respected manner (for FREE!) by girl scouts, forensics clubs, team sports and children’s theatre groups? (Honestly, the mothers I see pushing their daughters to do this seem to be trying to relive their own failed dreams of beauty and sexuality through their daughters–but I can’t say it’s too much worse than the rabid sports father, pushing a son to achieve, slipping him steroids, etc.)
>Not a question but a suggestion: Save up all prize money for future therapy sessions.
>Amanda, I am totally not opposed to hometown pageants. I think the difference between “normal” pageants and “glitz” pageants is that in a normal pageant, a little girl may have makeup on, but it’s to enhance her own little girlness. In a glitz pageant, the little girls are made up to look like women. Taught that their own hair, their own eyelashes, their own skin color and their own teeth aren’t good enough and need to be changed. That’s at the heart of what bothers me about this. I was in theater as a child and loved wearing stage makeup. But I was made up to look like a 7-year-old onstage, not a 7-year-old -sized adult showgirl.I’m curious about how much the average pageant mom spends a year on this stuff. It’s got to be in the tens of thousands, and I’m sure they can’t recover what they’ve spent in wins. It would be almost impossible.
>I too wonder what made them start doing it? What do they hope to get out of it – for themselves and for their child? What kind of pageant was the first one they entered? Were the moms in pageants when they were kids? If so, were they successful at it? And finally, do they worry or think about what messages they are giving their girl about their own beauty and beauty in general, about the where the value of women lies, about objectification of girls and women, about that child’s own worth and role? (I know that last one is serious multipartate, but you know, it’s all inter-linked!)
>I would like to know when they think someone is going over the line. Is there a line for them?
>There’s something twisted and very wrong about dressing three year olds til about 10 year olds like women…trying to make them look sexy, putting makeup on them, putting false teeth in them…It’s one thing if say, a 14 year old girl sees that the county fair is putting on a pageant and goes on from there…scholarship money is good; it doesn’t apply when you’re 4.
>I’d like to know how a mother can justify her baby wearing eye liner? Or getting a spray on tan? They’re all chemicals.
>Lindsay, this is a really interesting topic. I am interested to hear from the pageant mom’s point of view. They can’t ALL be obsessed stage mothers. Maybe some of them grew up doing it and enjoyed it??Just wanting to know- I have boys, of course, so cannot relate at all!
>How can they justify stealing their little girl’s childhood?
>I’d like to know if they understand that children often want to make their parents happy by doing things they perceive their parents want. When a parent abuses a child physically, it’s not uncommon for the child to defend the parent. What about education? What happens to that child who believes their importance is only skin deep?
>I’d also like to know why they do it. Why put this child, who you so clearly love, through this massive HELL, and damage their self-worth by emphasizing perfection, and beauty.If I had daughters, one of the most important things I would teach them would be self-confidence. By the way that some of these women treat their children when they “mess up” a routine, or make a mistake, my take is that they are doing WAY more damage than good. Children are pleasers, for the most part. Parents need to ensure their children act on good choices, not to please others. Anyone who knows people-pleasing adults, will tell you they have seen these types of adults walked all over, taken advantage of, and abused. Is that what you want for your daughters?I really believe these contests should be outlawed. They are no better than illegal dog-fights, and the like./rantGreat ongoing discussion, Lindsay. 🙂
>it won’t be long before they have boob jobs for 6 years old. It’s sick, sick, SICK. I know women who do this to their girls and they’re reliving the Glory Days, which is also sick. Pageants should be illegal. It’s just a buffet for pedophiles.
>I’d like to know if they think all the fakey appearance-based attention is really the most appropriate type of self confidence to instill.
>The creepiest thing I have ever seen was a documentary about these kids called “Living Dolls: The Making of A Child Beauty Queen.”It can be viewed on You Tube.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4dJ-PvHv1HQ
>I don’t say this about many things, but reading the Arkansas article and the Scene article and seeing the pictures literally makes me feel like puking.My little girl is 5 and for God’s sake, I want her to be 5, not a made up sluttabe.And Linsday, this quote is exactly why I have such a problem with it: “In a glitz pageant, the little girls are made up to look like women. Taught that their own hair, their own eyelashes, their own skin color and their own teeth aren’t good enough and need to be changed. That’s at the heart of what bothers me about this.I was in theater as a child and loved wearing stage makeup. But I was made up to look like a 7-year-old onstage, not a 7-year-old -sized adult showgirl.”God, people. Let your kids be kids and stop fucking trying to vicariously live through them, just because your pageant dreams never came true.
>I actually recognized a few of the people from the Living Dolls documentary at the pageant I attended.
>One of my summer jobs during college was at a summer program for kids. I loved my job and the kids there. But one day I had one of the saddest encounters–One young girl, Kaitlyn (age 5) was dropped off by her father in the morning. It was an exciting day because we had planned a water day full of squirt toys and water games. The kids where looking forward to it all week, especially Kaitlyn.”Just don’t let her run today. We don’t want her to fall down and scrape her knees– she has a pagaent this weekend.” Dad informed us as he dropped her off.WHAT?!?! DON’T LET HER RUN?? I can’t tell you how hard it was for me to not let her fully participate in all the activities. She was disappointed too. “Just go for it, Kaitlyn.” I finally told her. “Really??” she looked at me cautiously. “Just try to be careful.” “I will, oh I will! I promise.”No child should EVER have to be put in a situation like this. They should be able to be children– grubby, missing teeth, scabbed-knee children. They should be doing kids things like running around with squirt toys, squishing their toes in the mud, and even getting paint on their clothes.That was 7 years ago, I wonder where Kaitlyn is now. I wonder if she is still pagaenting. I hope for her sake that she is not.
>There is one major thing that the pro-pagaent people are seriously missing when they are spouting their “but our kids WANT to do this” line.Developmental psychology. I would really love to see them try to get a child psychologist or pediatrician to agree that a 2 year old can make that type of decision. My 2 year old wanted to eat the cheerios that I threw in the toilet for ‘target practise’. Does one honestly think I’d actually LET him?That’s about how ridiculous their argument is.
>Putting aside the grotesque aspects that have already been hashed through and with which I wholeheartedly agree, I would ask this: Do they feel that teaching their kids to value image above all else (to the point of CREATING an image out of fake hair, etc.) is really a wise move with such young and impressionable people? If they want to instill a love of beauty and poise, could they not enroll them in kids’ art/dance/music class? Do these kids get to spend time reading or drawing? What do they do that would be considered age-appropriate? Because it seems like their entire lives are consumed with surface glam and glitz. Surely these parents don’t view that as healthy and wholesome when it consumes their entire life…
>my only question is ‘why?’ most parents don’t want their kids going out at the age of 15 looking like whores – why are these pageant moms actually pushing their MUCH younger daughters to do the same thing?
>I would like to know why the pageant moms feel the need to teach their daughters to value beauty above everything else. And if they believe they aren’t teaching just focusing on beauty, then why the wigs, etc?? Are they not worried about the damage they may be doing to their child’s self-esteem? Are they not worried about turning their children into shallow look obsessed monsters? Are there not better ways to teach their children social skills than making them look like a two bit whore? Do they not worry about pedophiles?
>I had to email that last mom who wrote an email to the newspaper. I said so you like the fake tans, fake hair and fake teeth ect. I hope she also likes that she is teaching her daughter that she isnt good enough the way she is that she needs to be fake and gave her some sage advice to start saving money now for either rehab or a very pricy therapist when her child is older….sure her 2 year old wants to do it Im sure out of the blue I want to be in pageants! These women I think are living vicariously through their children and it is so sad.
>I think these mom’s are trying to feel validated through these poor little girls success.These Glitz Pageants are very different from just a cute- but they stay natural- baby contest-or local pageants where the kids are older and actually have to go and do something for the community!My opinion-It’s sick and any well grounded and sane mother wouldn’t even consider such a revolting thing to subject their child to!!Grow up little girls-your mom’s now! Your not playing make believe anymore!Sorry Lucinda- it just grosses me out and thank you for taking it on!
>I commend you for posting this. Not only was it a great read over at the Scene and here, it was right on target.These glitz pageants just slay me. I used to think it was funny. Now I feel differently.I’m with Rachel, how can someone find and define their own self-confidence if they are being judged on their looks.Don’t get it.Probably never will.
>I would like to know how they know that these “little girls” can say one way or another if they like it. So what, these children are having long heart to heart conversations with Mom about pagent life? One of my best friends has a two year. Half the time the only word I understand out of her mouth is “potty.” Everything else is just boohba noises. And I would figure that most of these girls probably started on the baby circuit. Did some 1 year old suddenly say “Mom I want to be a pageant whore.” And yes, while thats a very harsh word, what else do you call dressing up little girls in outfits most adults shouldn’t wear, slapping tons of makeup, fake teeth, hair and eyelashes on them and parading the around for cash prizes? So again, how do they know that the kid enjoys it. What about the one you wrote about that was crying? What she having “fun?”
>Call me nuts, but I must have missed the two-year-old professional cheerleading squad at nationals last year. As such, I really can’t compare their tans. And from one j-grad to another, there goes another “loyal” reader flaunting their ignorance of the journalistic standards of a column. Oh, and Go Cocks.
>i say they will never be swayed, will never be thwarted. i mean, if you were actually convinced that your girl could not be happier than when she is wearing a bikini and a spray-on-tan, do you think YOU would be in a logical state of mind? no.i’m sure they will maintain their “rightness” on this subject. gah is right.
>i mean, a girl that’s a little OLDER than say, 2 to freaking 10, maybe that’s a little more justifiable as something THEY want to do.otherwise, who are they kidding?
>I’d like to know if a respected pediatrician and a respected psychologist told them that this pageant business was bad for their daughters, if it would make them stop.Because I do not think they would. The mothers are more invested in this than the children.
>I wonder what they think these preschoolers and toddlers are learning. How will they be able to value themselves on anything but their appearance and how pleasing they appear to others if all they are taught at this young age is to be praised and loved, they need to put on wigs, makeup, costumes, and perform. I also want to know why it’s necessary to dress toddlers up in sexy clothes and makeup? Why up the stakes so much? Why can’t they be allowed to be beautiful as children?Do they not think their children would do better simply being children?
>Also,I was thinking about this…Has any of these pageant moms thought to talk to a psychologist about whether or not this is healthy? How can this be about anything other than the moms? Do they think their kids are happier because they are forced to wear makeup false teeth etc etc. ugh argh. I wish the govt. considered it exploitation and made it illegal!Why are they preparing their daughters for a career in ‘escort services’ or brothels? Not that I’m getting more and more irritated the more I think of these moms…
>Man oh man! I read what ‘Angel’ had to say. I’m sure she’s dropping in to read what we all have to say as well, so:Angel, honey – your job evidently is to make toddlers look attractive to pedophiles. Now – don’t deny it – it’s the stone truth. So if I were you – I’d consider the ramifications. What if one of your charges ends up like poor Jon Benet? Will you really be able to justify it to yourself? Or has the color green blinded you so thoroughly you can’t see the forest for the trees? Legal or not – glitz pageantry for the under two crowd is child porn – and you are hip deep in it. Nothing you say or do changes that rather salient fact. How you can participate in something so disturbing speaks more towards greed, I think, than those carefully chosen bromides you so pithily tossed off in your defense. Lie to yourself if you want – the truth about what you do screams out in those poor children’s every pose. I want to say Bravo to Lindsay for putting a spotlight on all of this (do you really have an Emmy, girl? Well hot damn!). Light does have disinfectant qualities. What a pity it can’t cleanse souls as well.
>After school one day, my daughter came over to the kitchen table where I was preparing the monthly bills. She sat down, folded her arms on the table, plopped her head down on them and let out a mournful sigh. “What’s going on kido?” “There is a girl in my class that is more beautiful than me. She is the most beautiful girl in the whole school.” I met this little girl at a Parent Teacher night when her mother came over and hugged the stuffing out of me! She was so happy to meet my daughter and myself. She went on and on about the confidence her daughter now has apparently due to my daughter telling her she was the most beautiful girl she had ever seen. Little kids usually tell it like it is and my daughter meant what she said and that little girl knew it. The little girl came over when the teacher was finished with her opening presentation. This beautiful little girl had wonderful manners, always made eye contact when she spoke to you, and had the prettiest smile I have ever seen. She also has a red birthmark that covers 50% of her face. I only spent a small amount of time with this little girl but I kept thinking “Wow what a wonderful, vibrant, beautiful girl she is. It does not matter about the birthmark or her many missing teeth (kids their age are loosing their baby teeth). This little girl had confidence and just an all out glow in her that just radiates. What makes a person beautiful is how they feel, how they express themselves, how they treat others. Of course my daughter is also beautiful and she has a wonderful affect on the people around her.One thing I wanted to add…my daughter has competed in Glitz pageants for 4 yrs. Don’t judge a book by its cover. You cannot sum up a persons life in just one afternoon, or by a photo taken in a fraction of time. To the Glitz girls the Glitz is just the uniform they wear when they compete.
>I wouldn’t have a question to pose. I’m convinced it’s useless. These people (I’m more comfortable calling them people, than parents) will never see the madness, the sheer criminality, of what they are doing. They are thoroughly convinced of their own righteousness – even more so than the proverbial Church Lady. Thus I merely offer this adamant statement to all of them: stay the HELL away from my family and the children of those I love. We want nothing to do with you or your kind, ever! Harsh? Absolutely … no apologies! So are they and what they are doing!Feel free to delete this comment if you feel you must.
>But you’re asking us not to judge your daughter by a photo or by a pageant she’s participating in. Like those things are bad. That’s what confuses me. Doesn’t that mean that you understand why people might look at a photo of your daughter “glitzed up” and be disturbed? And isn’t that in turn disturbing to you? I believe that even those who put their daughters in these pageants realize that it’s shameful, or else why were there no signs at Opryland Hotel advertising the pageant? And why did the room the pageant was in have “Private Party” signs posted outside? If they truly believed their pageants were wonderful, wouldn’t they want as many people as possible to see their daughters and cheer them on?
>I think kids have more than enough pressure on them once they get in school. Why put it on them at such a young age? I don’t care how many pro-pageant blogs/letters/views I read, I will never understand it. Never.
>I would like to know just how much time all of this takes? Not just the “pagents”, but all the preparation. The sittings for the dental work, the lessons, the wigs, the clothes… I can’t get my 3 year old to sit still for 15 minutes, never mind all of that. And how does all that time spent on preparation affect the rest of the family? What about the other children, especially the boys (if there are any).
>Banging my head on the keyboard again. I think I broke the shift key.
>First of all, isn’t that a terrific write up you got there! It’s well deserved.These moms are nuts! I can’t imagine any girl wanting to sit there for a few hours to get ready. Don’t tell me it’s a choice, because even adult women aren’t that into that much primping.My questions– How did the girls “choose” to participate in the pageants. Did they see them when they were brought to a pageant?- How long DOES it take to prepare for a pageant?- How does a 2 year old choose to be a pageant contestant?
>I wonder what spending thousands of dollars on outfits, hair, teeth (still freaking out over the teeth!)is doing to the family budget, especially if there are other siblings who aren’t in pageants as well. Is it a ‘living vicariously’ thing? Some of it has to be, right?
>I howled at those letters. If you ever needed evidence that fake tan eats your brain…those letters would do it!! There is absolutely nothing positive about those glitz pagaents. Nothing.As for their comments that if the child wants to compete, then they can…all I can say is that my almost three year old son wants to run onto the road. He wants to eat the bark at the local park. He wants to watch tv all day. I don’t let him. Because it’s not GOOD FOR HIM! Ok, taking a deep breath now.
>Answer to Lindsay 7:20 PM postNo, I am only saying that it is wrong to judge anyone by a photo. Nor is it right to judge someone based on one activity they participate in one afternoon. That is also not an in depth look at their lives or values. When we receive my daughters glitz photos, my daughter and I giggle, laugh, and we call them “a work of art”. The photographers are very good at what they do but they are retouched for the use of making them a “participation item” and not meant for the family Christmas card or for view of the general public. Not all Glitz girls use those photos. Dixieland as well as other Glitz pageants do have a Natural Photo category as we all seem to giggle a little with the retouched photos. You have not judged my daughters participation in a pageant nor have you put her photos in your judgement. It is just wrong to label people (even small children as you did) or judge parenting and what these contestants are like based on the unknowledgeable information you have seen or heard.The Private Party sign and the wrist bands which are required for entrance are there because it is just that, a Private Party. Nothing to be ashamed of, daycare centers and schools are an example of “we don’t want undesirables around our children.” You must check in to the schools or daycare before you are permitted near the children and they are much more lax about entrance than we are at pageants. Pageants are an invitation/participation event only. Pageants are a forum, a chance for our girls to show their talent be it Ballet, tap, jazz, gymnastics, karate, singing, poise, manners, speaking ability (manners and speaking ability were held in interview forum before the stage events) Casualwear modeling or even the ProAm events. To answer another post I saw earlier, they are not all 2 yrs old and younger, many of them are 3 yrs old and older with many even the general public would consider extremely talented. There is a 3 yr old who competes in pageants who is the best gymnast I have ever seen. She is better than some of the teens I have seen in my own state. This little gymnast might wear a gold metal at the Olympics in the future. I am sorry you only saw the ProAm event which is only an optional that is suppose to capture as many dance moves and expression possible without tripping or missing a beat. The origination of ProAm was to capture as many as possible usable modeling photos in a 60 second time limited. It has since evolved to include gymnastic and dance moves to capture movement in each shot. We do not want an unfortunate incident of obscene men with no morals (pedophiles) from the general public in the audience to just sit there and ooggle young girls. Most pedophiles capture their pray in the victims home, their own yard, walking to/from school or at the local play area. They are looking for an easy get away not a room full of parents who would kill them rather than see them in a court room. We are not ashamed, just trying to be careful and watchful for who comes in the room. If anyone at any time touched a contestant or God forbid grabbed a contestant her/his appendages would have been ripped off before they made it half way across the ballroom. Think about it, over 100 contestants along with their mothers, fathers, grandmothers and other family members. If someone were to touch one of them, the whole audience would have been apart to dismembering or at least rescuing the contestant and holding the criminal. A criminal of that sort seems to have the profile of waiting until a mother looks the other way or when a child is in their own back yard and mother thinks it is safe to not be so attentive. I cannot say I know the criminal mind but most crimes I hear about in the news are “I just turned my back for a second and…”The girls and families at the pageants cheer loud and clear from the audience and from behind the massive production company. The girls and families of all get a huge kick out of cheering on the contestant who is on stage. That contestant also gets a huge kick out of hearing everyone cheer for him/her while they are on stage.I have enjoyed reading your column on the pageant as well as the others linked. I find most of what was said is due to lack of knowledge on this subject which has made me laugh for days. I thank you for the laughs. The posts I particularly laugh about are the why not let the children be children. Please remember this was a planned event where the girls from baby through adults, not just babies, were there to competed as an event. I understand that you are a mother of a very young daughter so your focus was only on the babies. After their events were finished the girls of all ages took off their competition uniforms (make up and all) to played in the enormous sand box located just feet away from the ballroom as well as played in the pool also located just a few feet from the ballroom. They were also given a limo ride to the Build A Bear Work Shop and Rain Forest Cafe. They were treated to a large Cinderella, horse driven carriage ride. Not just the girls who won the pageant but all girls who participated in the pageant. We met DiVine (elegant lady on stilts dressed in all greenery who performed numerous acrobatics) and had a few snap shot with her. We went for a ride in the boat that tours around the hotel. We took in the shows that were available at the hotel. It was more than just seeing their child on stage doing what they do best but a family vacation. As you said in a post earlier, families came from out of state.The next issue I want to address tonight is the gyration to music by the 2 yr olds and under. How in the world can any of you expect a child 2 yrs or under to gyrate to music or for any other reason other than an epileptic seizure or movement to a beat. I have yet to see a child that age move fast enough or in a provocative way to call it gyration or anything remotely like a slut or hooker. Get your minds out of the gutter and stop thinking of children doing things to be suggestively provocative. I have seen toddlers in the check out line at the grocery store bend over in half and make peek a boos in between there little bums going up and down at the parents while they pay the cashier. Is it different because it is in front of the general public and not wearing something a toddler would wear for dance?I was just about to submit this when I saw a few questions. Hair and Make up takes from 5- minutes. Airbrush tanning takes 5 minutes the night before a pageant. “Sitting for dental work” has me very confused. If your child requires a dental appointment then they sit through it. There is no dental work required for Glitz pageants. Lessons go on during the week or weekends depending on the coaches schedule and your child’s schedule. Preparing for a pageant has some effect on the other children but it is minimal if you schedule your coaching and other events around the events of the other children in the family. Sorry but a karate tournament or any event my children participate are equal. You need to be the parent and figure out your family schedule in advance. Hair and make up is only 15 minutes tops. There are no wigs in Glitz pageants, there are hair extension pieces which are made in a hair do the night before and placed on the head during the almost 15 minutes of Hair and make up. The time with the hair and make up usually has no effect on the rest of the family given only one other family member is to wait during that time.The clothes are to be of a color that accents your child well and fit well. Clothes are generally ordered months in advance since designers have many clients. There is always grow room made into the outfits given the advanced order and girls do grow. Measuring for an outfit takes all of five minutes.Effects on the boys in the family? If the boys want to participate and there is an age group for them most participate just for the fun of it all. If not they are there with the family to enjoy the vacationing and most brothers support their sisters as well as the sisters support the brothers in their activities.The teeth issue, well toddlers do not use flippers nor do they loose teeth. It is the toothless aged girls who have flippers to just fill in where their teeth are missing for that month. It is hard for a judge to see little Jane’s beautiful smile when little Susie has the same amount of missing teeth but has a flipper. Particularly hard when plans were made, Jane and Susie were both looking forward to that one particular pageant and missing a few teeth that will grow in fully in a few days/weeks. Who can predict when a child looses a tooth or when the new tooth grows back? Sorry but a child preparing for the life time experience of joy and then to not be allowed to go based on a natural occurrence? Now comes the flipper to fill in for the weekend. The time it takes to make a mold of the mouth in quick dry plastic is all the time it takes for a child. Spending thousands? Ok if you went into a pageant full fledged for the first time then yes you would need a bit of money up front. If an outfit cost you $1,000 or more and you sell the outfit for $100 less than you paid, your child won $100 in the outfit you just broke even for that outfit plus all the great times your daughter and you had with the times she wore it. Family budget doing well? If one child wants to try out with a musical instrument you rent or buy the instrument, book classes, pay for lessons and hope they stay with that particular instrument long enough to see how well they do with it. If they bomb with that instrument and want to try another you do the same. Children are not cookie cutter people, they vary and each ends up their own particular Best Cookie. Our jobs as parents is to allow them the opportunities to try new things and back them up in what motivates them. No matter how many children you have a parent wants to do the best they can for each. I have one child who loves signing, dancing to her own drum and she loves pageants. I have a daughter who loves being a tomboy, dirt bikes and all and yes she has three. She participated in pageants for a few years, she started violin in kindergarten then gave it up for clarinet in 6th grade. She is now a pianist and loves her acoustic guitar. I have a son who loves music and he has tried many instruments but loves the guitar best. He was in pageants briefly when he was in his just before teens to try it out for himself. My older daughter and son both use to come with us on pageant weekends but now they are older they come only now and then. If anyone says they are in pageants for the scholarships or the money they should quit now. Pageants are not about the money they are all about the experiences your child receives from them. My daughter has approximately $5,000 in savings bonds but she has been in pageants for a few years. It is all about the time we spend with each other during the weekend, her doing her best on stage, gradually learning that practice does count (she is in pageants that reward each girl based on her performance that day). Glitz pageants are usually not solely based on Beauty. If it were based on how beautiful the contestants face was they would all win the top prize. Glitz pageants consider speaking ability for age, modeling ability based on age, personality, confidence and sometimes the tie breaker is how well their outfits fit them and if they are age appropriate. I hope I answered some of your questions. Please remember this is not all there is to Pageants. Try not to judge yet you be judged.
>I’ve been checking back to see if there were any pageant defenders and lo! I found one finally, here at the bottom. While I appreciate her perspective (which you should print in a post itself) I find it hard to take the talking points seriously, when they are contradicted by all the other points she makes. “Pageants are a forum, a chance for our girls to show their talent.”Give me a break. Talent shows are a place for girls to show their talent. Gymnastic competitions and ballet recitals and soccer games and science fairs and spelling beees are a place for girls to show their talent. And TALENT by definition does not require the addition of airbrushing, flippers, or wigs that didn’t even look good in the 70s when they were in style. Let alone the clothes. (Good God, what is with the horrible clothes in those pageants?)I’m most concerned about what children are learning in terms of self-esteem through these competitions. They learn that they are not good enough, pretty enough, blonde enough, tan enough without the help of artificial devices. They learn that if you play sexy music and move your hips around that you will gain the approval of adults. They learn that smiling is more important than feeling and that how you look is more important than what you know.It’s everything I fear for my own daughter. “A child preparing for the life time [sic] experience of joy and then to not be allowed to go based on a natural occurrence” – this is the problem. In a nutshell. If it was all about “talent” then it wouldn’t matter if the kid had six teeth or ten or 35.So I suppose if I had one question to ask (sorry for the long essay, L) it would be: What values do you hope to instill in your daughters? What do you hope for them as children, and as adults? What kinds of people do you want them to grow to be?
>But I’d just like to add one thing in defense of pageants: I disagree with Denise and others that these events inspires pedophiles’ affections.Pedophiles sexualize children as children. Not children posing as adults. If pedophiiles are attracted to these competitions, it’s simply because of the number of children there. The mascara is incidental.
>I just had to post again after reading the pro-pageant Mom’s post. Now, I may not have kids of my own yet. But again, I am an auunt and my friends have children and I spend alot of time with them. I’ve know them before they were even born and have babysat for their parents so I do know that kids, especially toddlers, require alot of patience. My quiestion to all of you out there is this…she say’s that the fitting for clothes and the hair and the “tanning” only take 5 minutes. WTF! That has to be the biggest outright lie that I’ve heard when dealing with kids! The only way that I can see it taking only 5 minutes to get a kid ready for anything is if they are so terrified of disobeying Mommy or whoever and getting yelled at that they are too scared to move or do anything.
>Heyyy, lady. If you are wondering where all the blowback is, I’ve got you covered.Do come and check it out.
>”Wants to compete?”That would be funny, if it wasn’t so disgusting.
>Well I just wanted to say what experience do you get in pageants? I have put my 3yr old in a few pageants, and always felt like I wasted my time and money ( way to much) to stay there two hours and get a $5 trophy.I now only go to one pageant every year (with a friend)and have a lot of fun with it. I think thats all see really needs at her age.I wish a lot of the moms would let there kids be kid and act better at pageants. A lot of moms are crazy, and tanning, putting fake teeth on a little kid I don’t know what to say…..