>Pageant Mom Responds
>Finally, a response from the pageant side. This mom commented in the last post, so I just put it in a post of its own, since I know many of you will want to read what she has to say. Her words are in italics, mine are not.
I am only saying that it is wrong to judge anyone by a photo. Nor is it right to judge someone based on one activity they participate in one afternoon. That is also not an in depth look at their lives or values. When we receive my daughters glitz photos, my daughter and I giggle, laugh, and we call them “a work of art”. The photographers are very good at what they do but they are retouched for the use of making them a “participation item” and not meant for the family Christmas card or for view of the general public. Not all Glitz girls use those photos. Dixieland as well as other Glitz pageants do have a Natural Photo category as we all seem to giggle a little with the retouched photos. You have not judged my daughters participation in a pageant nor have you put her photos in your judgement. It is just wrong to label people (even small children as you did) or judge parenting and what these contestants are like based on the unknowledgeable information you have seen or heard.
No one here is judging the children. We are judging those parents who are allowing their children to be photographed in provocatively posed, Photoshopped, publicly-released (and they are public, because they end up on competition websites and in public message board banners, where anyone can see them) pictures. It disturbs me that you and your daughters call them “works of art,” like they’re something to be prized.
Also, I’ve made it very clear here that I’m not opposed to state fair-style pageants or natural pageants, in which the children still look like children. I’m talking specifically about glitz pageants.
The Private Party sign and the wrist bands which are required for entrance are there because it is just that, a Private Party. Nothing to be ashamed of, daycare centers and schools are an example of “we don’t want undesirables around our children.” You must check in to the schools or daycare before you are permitted near the children and they are much more lax about entrance than we are at pageants. Pageants are an invitation/participation event only. Pageants are a forum, a chance for our girls to show their talent be it Ballet, tap, jazz, gymnastics, karate, singing, poise, manners, speaking ability (manners and speaking ability were held in interview forum before the stage events) Casualwear modeling or even the ProAm events. To answer another post I saw earlier, they are not all 2 yrs old and younger, many of them are 3 yrs old and older with many even the general public would consider extremely talented. There is a 3 yr old who competes in pageants who is the best gymnast I have ever seen. She is better than some of the teens I have seen in my own state. This little gymnast might wear a gold metal at the Olympics in the future. I am sorry you only saw the ProAm event which is only an optional that is suppose to capture as many dance moves and expression possible without tripping or missing a beat. The origination of ProAm was to capture as many as possible usable modeling photos in a 60 second time limited. It has since evolved to include gymnastic and dance moves to capture movement in each shot. We do not want an unfortunate incident of obscene men with no morals (pedophiles) from the general public in the audience to just sit there and ooggle young girls. Most pedophiles capture their pray in the victims home, their own yard, walking to/from school or at the local play area. They are looking for an easy get away not a room full of parents who would kill them rather than see them in a court room. We are not ashamed, just trying to be careful and watchful for who comes in the room. If anyone at any time touched a contestant or God forbid grabbed a contestant her/his appendages would have been ripped off before they made it half way across the ballroom. Think about it, over 100 contestants along with their mothers, fathers, grandmothers and other family members. If someone were to touch one of them, the whole audience would have been apart to dismembering or at least rescuing the contestant and holding the criminal. A criminal of that sort seems to have the profile of waiting until a mother looks the other way or when a child is in their own back yard and mother thinks it is safe to not be so attentive. I cannot say I know the criminal mind but most crimes I hear about in the news are “I just turned my back for a second and…”
Perfect example of the difference I see between glitz pageants and an “acceptable” (to me) pageant: Last weekend, the Tennessee State Fair held a pageant for babies through young adults and publicized the hell out of it. Watching a little girl parade on stage in her own hair and party dress just doesn’t anger people like watching a little girl in a fake tan, fake hair, false eyelashes and bikini parade on stage.
It wasn’t difficult to be admitted to your pageant- I’m fairly certain that anyone who made an effort to appear normal could get in- but since you bring this topic up about keeping pedophiles away from the girls, I have to say that I saw several unattended pageant girls out in the massive lobby, standing inside while their moms went out in the courtyard for a smoke, practicing their routines, etc. There were several larger events occuring at the same time and people were everywhere, including little girls in full costume, hair and makeup. I’m not saying that you’re not careful with your girls, but I don’t think all of the moms are.
The girls and families at the pageants cheer loud and clear from the audience and from behind the massive production company. The girls and families of all get a huge kick out of cheering on the contestant who is on stage. That contestant also gets a huge kick out of hearing everyone cheer for him/her while they are on stage.
I have enjoyed reading your column on the pageant as well as the others linked. I find most of what was said is due to lack of knowledge on this subject which has made me laugh for days. I thank you for the laughs. The posts I particularly laugh about are the why not let the children be children. Please remember this was a planned event where the girls from baby through adults, not just babies, were there to competed as an event. I understand that you are a mother of a very young daughter so your focus was only on the babies. After their events were finished the girls of all ages took off their competition uniforms (make up and all) to played in the enormous sand box located just feet away from the ballroom as well as played in the pool also located just a few feet from the ballroom. They were also given a limo ride to the Build A Bear Work Shop and Rain Forest Cafe. They were treated to a large Cinderella, horse driven carriage ride. Not just the girls who won the pageant but all girls who participated in the pageant. We met DiVine (elegant lady on stilts dressed in all greenery who performed numerous acrobatics) and had a few snap shot with her. We went for a ride in the boat that tours around the hotel. We took in the shows that were available at the hotel. It was more than just seeing their child on stage doing what they do best but a family vacation. As you said in a post earlier, families came from out of state.
I was personally more interested in the younger contestants, because they were really too young to even form a coherent opinion on pageants. I suspect that at least some of them will grow up and be very angry that they were put into that kind of situation by their mothers before they had any real understanding of what was going on.
And I think I speak for most of my readers when I say that we don’t doubt that some elements of the pageant are fun for the girls, but why not take them to storytime at the library or the park? Or take your entire family on a vacation to, say, Disney World? Why not give them dance or acting lessons if they have a desire to perform? I suspect they’d have even more fun if they weren’t subjected to airbrush tans, hair extensions, uncomfortable costumes, and false eyelashes- and if they weren’t under pressure from the age of 2 or 3 to remember a stage routine (and not to mess up their hair, costume, or makeup) in front of a panel of judges.
The next issue I want to address tonight is the gyration to music by the 2 yr olds and under. How in the world can any of you expect a child 2 yrs or under to gyrate to music or for any other reason other than an epileptic seizure or movement to a beat. I have yet to see a child that age move fast enough or in a provocative way to call it gyration or anything remotely like a slut or hooker. Get your minds out of the gutter and stop thinking of children doing things to be suggestively provocative. I have seen toddlers in the check out line at the grocery store bend over in half and make peek a boos in between there little bums going up and down at the parents while they pay the cashier. Is it different because it is in front of the general public and not wearing something a toddler would wear for dance?
Again, no one is judging the girls or holding them in any way responsible for what’s going on. I am, however, harshly and adamantly judging the parents for allowing the girls to learn routines that were absolutely characterized by hip/rump shaking. They don’t understand what’s going on, but you do, and should not allow it. It’s one thing when a toddler lifts her butt up and down spontaneously in a store; it’s quite another when she’s been taught to do that on a stage before judges. It’s making me furious just thinking about it.
It was also sickening to me when all the girls were asked to line up on stage for the judges and every single one put one hand on her hip and thrust it out over and over in that age-old Mae West motion- a motion that is a well-known caricature of a prostitute. Just for perspective, I remember seeing that same move on television when I was five on some comedy show, along with a “Hi, Big Boy” from the television character. I tried it out on my family that night and my mom grabbed me and nicely but firmly told me I was never to do that again.
I was just about to submit this when I saw a few questions. Hair and Make up takes from 5- minutes.
IMPOSSIBLE. I couldn’t do that to myself in five minutes, let alone do it to a three-year-old.
Airbrush tanning takes 5 minutes the night before a pageant.
Personally, I’d be doubtful about putting chemicals on a young child and letting her sleep overnight in them.
“Sitting for dental work” has me very confused. If your child requires a dental appointment then they sit through it. There is no dental work required for Glitz pageants.
I think they were referring to having the flippers made for them.
Lessons go on during the week or weekends depending on the coaches schedule and your child’s schedule. Preparing for a pageant has some effect on the other children but it is minimal if you schedule your coaching and other events around the events of the other children in the family. Sorry but a karate tournament or any event my children participate are equal. You need to be the parent and figure out your family schedule in advance.
Hair and make up is only 15 minutes tops. There are no wigs in Glitz pageants, there are hair extension pieces which are made in a hair do the night before and placed on the head during the almost 15 minutes of Hair and make up. The time with the hair and make up usually has no effect on the rest of the family given only one other family member is to wait during that time.
The clothes are to be of a color that accents your child well and fit well. Clothes are generally ordered months in advance since designers have many clients. There is always grow room made into the outfits given the advanced order and girls do grow. Measuring for an outfit takes all of five minutes.
Effects on the boys in the family? If the boys want to participate and there is an age group for them most participate just for the fun of it all. If not they are there with the family to enjoy the vacationing and most brothers support their sisters as well as the sisters support the brothers in their activities.
The teeth issue, well toddlers do not use flippers nor do they loose teeth. It is the toothless aged girls who have flippers to just fill in where their teeth are missing for that month. It is hard for a judge to see little Jane’s beautiful smile when little Susie has the same amount of missing teeth but has a flipper. Particularly hard when plans were made, Jane and Susie were both looking forward to that one particular pageant and missing a few teeth that will grow in fully in a few days/weeks. Who can predict when a child looses a tooth or when the new tooth grows back? Sorry but a child preparing for the life time experience of joy and then to not be allowed to go based on a natural occurrence? Now comes the flipper to fill in for the weekend. The time it takes to make a mold of the mouth in quick dry plastic is all the time it takes for a child.
I think that flippers may have started as a way to fill in missing teeth, but I don’t think it’s that way anymore. The before and after pictures on flipper websites show mostly young girls with a front tooth gap or crooked baby teeth. And the girl I saw take her flippers out had all her real teeth. I watched a group of five six-year-olds practicing right beside me and I’m 90% sure all of them had flippers- Most of them were touching them every five minutes and a few of them had grossly-oversized, perfect white teeth that were obviously cheaply done and fake.
Bottom line: Teeth should not be judged on a young child. Period. If you’re having to get fake teeth for your daughter, I mean think. There’s something wrong with that.
Spending thousands? Ok if you went into a pageant full fledged for the first time then yes you would need a bit of money up front. If an outfit cost you $1,000 or more and you sell the outfit for $100 less than you paid, your child won $100 in the outfit you just broke even for that outfit plus all the great times your daughter and you had with the times she wore it.
Family budget doing well? If one child wants to try out with a musical instrument you rent or buy the instrument, book classes, pay for lessons and hope they stay with that particular instrument long enough to see how well they do with it. If they bomb with that instrument and want to try another you do the same. Children are not cookie cutter people, they vary and each ends up their own particular Best Cookie. Our jobs as parents is to allow them the opportunities to try new things and back them up in what motivates them. No matter how many children you have a parent wants to do the best they can for each. I have one child who loves signing, dancing to her own drum and she loves pageants. I have a daughter who loves being a tomboy, dirt bikes and all and yes she has three. She participated in pageants for a few years, she started violin in kindergarten then gave it up for clarinet in 6th grade. She is now a pianist and loves her acoustic guitar. I have a son who loves music and he has tried many instruments but loves the guitar best. He was in pageants briefly when he was in his just before teens to try it out for himself. My older daughter and son both use to come with us on pageant weekends but now they are older they come only now and then.
If anyone says they are in pageants for the scholarships or the money they should quit now. Pageants are not about the money they are all about the experiences your child receives from them. My daughter has approximately $5,000 in savings bonds but she has been in pageants for a few years. It is all about the time we spend with each other during the weekend, her doing her best on stage, gradually learning that practice does count (she is in pageants that reward each girl based on her performance that day). Glitz pageants are usually not solely based on Beauty. If it were based on how beautiful the contestants face was they would all win the top prize. Glitz pageants consider speaking ability for age, modeling ability based on age, personality, confidence and sometimes the tie breaker is how well their outfits fit them and if they are age appropriate.
The pageant I attended cost $700 to enter, and that didn’t cover judging in every category. Additional categories cost extra. The outfits cost up to $1200 (some of the western wear looked even more expensive than that), and none of this is taking into account hair and makeup, airfare, hotel accomodations, pageant coaching, modeling lessons, manicures, or tanning. I mean, it just seems outrageously expensive, particularly when most of the parents I saw appeared not to have much money to start with.
I hope I answered some of your questions. Please remember this is not all there is to Pageants. Try not to judge yet you be judged.
I really, deeply appreciate your taking the time to answer our questions. I told you in my e-mail that my readers are moms and dads themselves and very unlikely to attack you personally or say things just to hurt you (and I hope my readers will honor what I’ve just written in their comments). I think we’re all just stunned that glitz pageants are going on at all.
As my regular readers know, I’m a fairly laidback parent and not one to get (uh, seriously) up in arms about things, but now that I’ve seen a glitz pageant for myself, I just know in my gut that it’s wrong. It’s totally, undeniably wrong. I am trying to understand your side, but for the life of me, I can’t.
>It’s the frog-in-a-pot-of-water, isn’t it? Apparently, if you put a frog in a pot of cool water and slowly heat it up, the frog will adjust to the temperature as it increases, and will inevitably die.This mom has been part of that environment, accepting first the extensions and then the tanning, moving from ‘pretty’ to ‘sexy’ until she sees the glitz pageant world as normal and healthy.Which it is anything but.
>Everything that woman said to defend pageants only dug the hole she’s in a lot deeper. I once heard someone defend beauty pageants by saying they offered the best opportunities for women’s college scholarships. Really? The best one out there has more to do with how much fake crap you can glue to your head…as opposed to what’s inside it? Yeah…that’s what’s wrong with this country…or one big part of it anyway. Shame, PageantMom. Shame.
>It’s good to see the other side. I just can’t agree.
>If you saw things the way she did well you could start saving now for therapy. On a slightly different matter, have you seen the photos of Cindy Crawford’s 5 year old daughter? Absoultely beautiful child posed in a bathing suit bottom with a ‘tramp stamp’ on her back! It is creepy.
>While I don’t agree with *anything* about the glitzy pageants, at ALL, I do want to say that I appreciated this mother’s response. It was detailed and she tried to answer a lot of questions, and she made an effort to be calm, I thought, in the face of a bunch of women disagreeing with her. Kudos to her for that.
>I can’t believe that this woman thought she was defending pageants. Every argument she made just dug her deeper and deeper into the pit. I worry about children growing up in a house where their mother is that dumb!
>I can certainly see the frog in the bottom of the pot, as Mary P said.It’s simply a wonderment to me that pageants exist at all. It smacks of the slave market “open her mouth, look at her teeth, nice wide hips” kind of thing, and on children so young (say, under the age of CONSENT?) it’s very nearly criminal.I wrote a post today about what I see as the inevitable extension of the child pageant thing. It features “Miss Nude Blonde Universe,” an actual title given to someone who must have wanted it.Wonder how much it cost for her to enter THAT competition? No outfit required, so that would be a money-saver right there.
>Okay,I just think that whenever you invest that much money into something, you expect something out of it.These moms’ say they don’t pressure thier kids, but they invested tons of money, so their kids can win, not just so they can have fun. If they wanted their kids to have fun, they’d take them to the state fair.
>i think that the mother’s who put their daughters in these pageants are a rare breed (mentally). what inspires one to put their kid in that? surely, no 1 year old is asking mommy to put makeup on her and put her in a pageant. are the mom’s ex-child pageant people too? like, how does it start?!??i can’t even read this whole post because i will want my life back after reading all of their “defense” comments. lol
>Ya, but they will all growing up with one wish: World Peace.And I don’t understand why this mom is all hot up about being judged. I thought it was all about the judging.I just came over to see if you’d gotten any privacy yet.
>I am not going to presume to say a glitz pagent parent is a bad person or ruining their children. I think that would be painting with too broad a brush. It would also be futile, like expecting a stripper to say something besides what she does with her body isn’t demeaning to women. No opinions will be changed. She will never see herself the way the uniniated will and, really, there probably are worse things that could happen to a child. Like starvation, disease, torture. But I wish to point out that sexual predators are usually NOT strangers trying to break in to beauty pagents. They are ordinary people, usually in or close to the family. I’m not sure if sexualizing our children (as she says we’ve done by thinking about it that way) isn’t helped along by the action of teaching children to “walk the walk.” Perhaps that’s only a pagent thing, and these kids don’t grow up idolizing teen sexpots and thinking that they are only as good as their looks or what boys want from them.Perhaps if they behaved like they were on the runway in the supermarket, their parents would hold their hands, walk them straight out of the store and say: That’s not appropriate.
>It’s difficult for many of us to try and maintain neutrality regarding this subject. I too am not opposed to pageantry in general – even for kids. I don’t like it when children are judged on looks alone though, I must say. 4H is great in how it manages competition for children. They are judged on their abilities – and that can truly build character. I would suggest to all the glitz moms who have commented here that they look into alternatives for their children â but they wonât; because this isnât about the kids. Itâs just not. No two year old can articulate an interest in anything other than making mud pies. Now â if a teenager wants to do it â fine. Iâm not happy with the concept; I would try and talk her out of it â but its kind of like cheer-leading. If they wanna â and theyâre old enough to understand it â OK. But I remain adamantly opposed to exposing babies to such an atmosphere. Look â I did professional childrenâs theatre from when I was 11. I was even on TV â so I get it. I watched stage mothers treat their children like mannequins â pushing, primping, shouting, shoving. I was once tripped by a stage mother on my way to a dance audition. She was hoping Iâd fall and hurt myself. The âMama Roseâ character from âGypsyâ was a real person â the mother of Gypsy Rose Lee and June Havoc. If you want to see the affects that kind of mania can have on a childâs life â both of those womenâs real-life experiences are prime examples. They should also serve as cautionary tales. Mothers â donât do this to your children. You are buying them years of therapy and heartache â and for what? So you can look big or important to strangers? Is it really worth it? Really?
>It bothered me even more to hear her rationalize this sickness. I bet she voted for bush too.
>I am sorry I dont see the pageants as anything good for the kids. I feel these pageants make the kids self esteme way too big for their age. that is whats wrong with society today. we all want to look as best as we can and the ones that dont are judged by those that are pretty. beauty is not on the outside but on the inside and who a person should reflect that…
>Sooo…she’s saying that they can’t label what they are doing because of pedophiles that might be attracted to it? Hmm… school plays are advertised, sports competitions are advertised, daycares have signs, dance recitals are advertised, and no one is afraid.No matter how you spin it, these are children dressed up to portray a very sexual, adult image.
>By doing anything other than a natural beauty pageant, you are teaching the girls that beauty can be bought. We’re raising the next generation of botox babes.Someone asked me once if it was ethical for photographers to slim down their overweight clients in photos. I would ask the same of the funny ha-ha “glitz” photos. Why buy them then?
>I’m coming in at the end of the discussion so please excuse my anger here.The glitz pageants are so wrong they make me literally sick. I watched an HBO special a while back and I lost my lunch.I think the parents are crazy and it’s child abuse in my opinion.
>These parents are FUH-REAKS! Nice to see that the next generation of Stepford Wife Autotrons are still being produced at the factory. It’s all so wrong, I don’t even know where to begin. I will say, however, that this mother is probably the brightest out of all the pageant moms (even though she confuses metal/medal and pray/prey.) Maybe that trip to a library wouldn’t be such a bad idea.
>Why does there have to be false anything? What is wrong with natural? And if it is not only about the “beauty”, there should be NO need to add the fake accessories. They certainly don’t help in the manners department of judging, or the talent part, or the speaking. She tried to defend, but she failed miserably.
>I think an interesting follow-up to all of this would be to track down a sample of teenage girls and young women who were pageant participants 10-20 years ago and get their take on all of this. A sort of “where are they now” type thing. I be a lot of questions would be answered, no?
>First I want to add my appreciation to this pageant mom for trying to explain (however misguidedly) the pageant moms’ position. That takes some kind of guts to go into a lion’s den which began with over 100 angry commenters. She said, “Children are not cookie cutter people, they vary and each ends up their own particular Best Cookie.”So why the flippers, hair, lashes, makeup, and tans? Why try so hard to have the girls all reach the same glitzy standard? I’ve seen drag queens do themselves up just as much. Why not let their talents, in her family the music talent, speak for itself instead of covering it all up with superficial and expensive add-ons? Judging for the talent and poise and confidence is one thing, but she cannot deny that they are judged a hell of a lot on their looks, or they wouldn’t bother so much trying to look so coiffed and perfect (and adult, which is inappropriate on a child). She’s absolutely deluded if she thinks this isn’t a pedophile’s paradise. Like she said, a pedophile’s MO isn’t public, but they will keep coming up with clever and more convincing ways to infiltrate such tempting surroundings. What if a coach were secretly a pedophile? Are the girls left alone with their coaches? What if the judge in the speaking interview is a pedophile? Is that interview conducted completely in private? Maybe not. But maybe. And that maybe is too big a maybe to chance. It’s precicely why sex offenders who’ve harmed children, if they are permitted back into society, must register with the authorities and cannot hold a job that in ANY way puts them in contact with children. But those are only the ones that are caught.This says nothing of the effects on the child and the lessons they are learning about the importance of looks in today’s society.
>Hi itâs âPageant Momâ, the one who wrote the âbook of a post.â. I apologize in advance for yet another long post. I do not know how to make a new post here. It was not my intent to defend pageants or try to convince any of you to join up. I only posted to answer questions. If you donât like pageants and do not want your children to participate in them there is nothing wrong with that.Lindsay – The âwork of artâ statement was not made as if we cherish the photos or think they are something to be prized. We outright laugh at the photos and no longer have them done. I donât know what email you are referring to. As far as I know you do not have my email address. I never thought the readers were attempting to hurt me personally. Most of them seem to believe ALL pageant moms are evil extremist. I find it funny how everyone radiates towards the extremists and fails to notice the dozens of sweet Moms and their wonderful children. People in general are fascinated by the grotesque and unusual which must be the reason the focus is always on the way out there extremists.The unattended children is a thing that really pushes my buttons in the wrong way. My daughter is usually within arms reach. The times I passed through that lobby area I mostly saw the competitive cloggers who were also in full hair and make up wearing spandex costumes. I saw a few of the pageant girls but did not see any of them unattended. If I had, I would have waited with them for Mom to show up and give her a few friendly words. âHair and Make up takes from 5- minutesâ was a typo on my part. It should have been âHair and Make up takes from 5-15 minutes.âI loved hearing the frog-in-a pot statement. I have used that term before and people just stare at me blankly. I am glad to not be the only who uses that term. Lahdeedah – we are going to the fair this weekend which is when it starts. Every year I encourage my children to create something on their own to enter in the fair. One evening during fair week we help out at one of the charity booths. All the things the other readers do with their children we also do with ours. We go to Disney World, vacation in the mountains, beaches, visit relatives, dance, karate, football. We also travel to pageants. My daughter also enjoys playing in the mud.Fat Lady Sings – There are extremists in pageants. You can find them in any activity from who makes the best desert for the Christmas party (giggling at Lindsay), who sold the most in the PTA fundraiser, to the local sports field. The clothing is suppose to be age appropriate and points are deducted if it is not. There are moms who are there for the soul purpose of winning but that is not all of them. A majority of us donât care if they win the top prize or not so long as little Susie is doing her best and having a great time. Glitz pageants are also structured to recognize the efforts of all children who competed with prizes. Unlike the majority of natural, state fair type of pageant where there is only one winner for the entire pageant or for an age group. If Lindsay had asked my daughter what is she judged on while on stage her response would have been âhow much fun you are having up there.â Mark, ieatcrayonz, – I also made the post about who my daughter considers the most beautiful girl in her school as the girl with a red birthmark which covers 50% of her face. So I can honestly say she does not believe beauty is skin deep. In my opinion she has the correct view on beauty.MetroDad- Thank you, it was very late and I do not proof read what I write. I am really lazy about that when dealing with the internet.Andrea – not all of the girls wear all the fake. My daughter does not have a flipper or ware fake lashes. The hair piece is great since it can be made up the night before and my child is not sitting in a chair for a long time having her hair done. The judging criteria is based on confidence shown on stage, personality, appropriate attire, fit of attire, eye contact and facial beauty. Those are the slots for points during the beauty portion of the pageant. If the judging were biased mostly on facial beauty they would have to award the highest title to all who competed as they are all beautiful. Interview is not a one on one session behind closed doors in any of the pageants my daughter has competed in. The contestants are to be toned down for interview and wear a very simple outfit such as a tee shirt, shorts and plain white sneakers. They are not on stage with all the bright lights but sitting across the table from the panel of judges with Mom at the door and a few staff members.
>I am not a parent. So perhaps I have no right to an opinion. But I’m going to let fly anyway.Because, quite frankly, there are those of us who would kill to have a normal, healthy, happy child. The thought of people taking that gift and exploiting them as pint-sized whores is disgusting.Call it what you want–glitz, glamour, fashion, playacting, talent–it’s all about sexualising a very young child. And that is patently disgusting. No matter who you are.
>While I appreciate the pageant mother’s time that she has spent responding to our questions, I just do not understand how she can think there is nothing sexual about glitz pageants.And I would like to thank you, Lindsay, for saying so eloquently, what the rest of us feel.
>First off, I give credit to the pageant mom for stepping up (twice) to state her point of view. I may disagree completely with it, but she was very rational in presenting it.It’s true there are extremists in everything – look at the sports parents threatening coaches, rival team spectators and the like. There is no defense for those parents. IMO, these “glitz” pageants fall into the extreme end of pageantry and I cannot defend them, or those who support them. Those photos of these tiny girls look like something you’d find in a Franklin Mint catalouge, not like real girls.I also think you seriously underestimate the time it takes to get ready for these competitions. I timed it this morning and it took me 10 minutes to get my 3 year old daughter dressed into a pair of undies, a skirt and a simple t-shirt and comb her hair. I didn’t even get the chance to put it into a ponytail before she ran off. 5-15 minutes for hair and make-up? I think not…
>Didn’t disagree with a thing you said. Sad for kids who are encouraged to grow up way too fast. Three year olds should be playing in parks and be being read to. Scary.
>Pageant Mom should be applauded loudly for undertaking to explain her side of the argument. We are not always the most open or forgiving crowd, and to willingly step into the fray is the sign of an honorable person with great conviction. Thank you for answering my questions and the others you addressed so ably.I have to agree that we will never all agree. That is the thing about parenting. Some of us came from terrific parents who did all the right stuff, and we go to therapy twice each week. Others have grown into terrific parents because they swore they would never be like their own parents.I have 2 marvelous children (1 of each) and my daughter would love the idea of getting dressed up and being beautiful. She is truly a girly-girl. I doubt she would ever want to put herself out in front of a group of judges like these young ladies do, because the weight of being judged is so heavy. Young children should be loved, vlaued, and supported every chance we get. When we place one above another, we diminish them all. The ones we send home thinking they are less than the one, and the one we annoint as being more than the others.I don’t believe that these are the values I wish for my children. I will happily send them to All-County Band, or Soccer, because they are part of a team- each of them better because of the rest. These are the values we teach our children, for someday they may work in an office where they have to collaborate on a project. Play as part of a Symphony Orchestra. Join a professional sports team. Wait patiently in line for groceries. Or, Heaven forbid, defend their comrades from a foxhole.Judge not, lest ye be judged? What ARE we teaching?
>Bravo for pageant mom for taking on a tough and unforgiving crowd without stooping to the old “jelus! You’re just jelus that you culdn’t cut it as a glitz girl!” that I saw in response to your article. But in what world should little girls be judged for anything they do, let alone the fit of their clothes (!!), their facial beauty, or the appropriateness of their attire, which must be determined by Christina Aguillera, judging from the “appropriate attire” I’ve seen.You’re right, there are exreme examples at play here. It’s a bell curve with these things. In modeling there is Cindy Crawford on one end who is arguably well-adjusted. In the middle, however, there are the vast majority of models who are just f’d up beyond belief. It’s hardly a world I’d hope my daughter aspire to. If she chooses that world when she’s old enough I’ll support her with plenty of guidance. But at 6? 4? 2? I’m still the parent here. Not on her life. Your daughter seems well adjusted pageant mom, according to your accounts. But I sense she is the exception and not the rule.
>Sorry, Pageant Mom- I thought you were the same woman who’s been e-mailing me. She’s answering the questions, too, so it’s nice to know there are two of you.I’ll ask the same question I asked over at Nashville is Talking, because I couldn’t get a straight answer there.If your daughter wants to be in a pageant, why can’t you at least put her in one where she’ll learn that her own hair, her own teeth, her own eyelashes, and her own skin are all good enough for the competition? Why does it have to be glitz?
>I’ve been fascinated by these recent posts. I remember watching the Living Dolls show on HBO a few years back and I was just floored. You can now watch the documentary on YouTube.com if you are interested (sorry if that was already pointed out).
>Kudos to pageant mom for having the guts to respond. I agree to disagree with you on this topic. I wish you and your family the best. I do feel more strongly now than I did before — that pageants (particularly Glitz) are wrong.
>”Pageant Mom” again, Lindsay my daughter competes in both Natural and Glitz pageants. She enjoys the huge production of the Glitz pageants more. My daughter does not have a flipper. A few mothers have shown me their score cards after crowning with remarks from the judges “flipper is noticeable.” I have heard judges (when they thought no one was around) actually laughing about flippers they saw that day which were just plain awful looking. As most things you buy cheap or pay more for a quality item. I have seen pageant paper work with the comment “flippers are allowed but they must look natural or points will be deducted.” Two years ago I was stopped by a woman outside of a pageant ballroom. She asked me why I put fake eyelashes on my daughter and that I should be shot for doing that to her. My daughter and I both heartily laughed and offered her a closer look. My daughter does not wear false eyelashes. The woman apologized and went about her business.I have said before the hair piece is great because it can be made into a “do” the night before. My daughter does not have to sit still for a long time while her hair is done. Her hair and make up are to prevent her from looking completely washed out from the big bright lights on a very large stage. Same with the tanning. If you are going to a Glitz pageant you wear the “Glitz uniform”. I am not fond of pageants that are held in the general public. I do not sign her up for pageants that are held at the mall, fair or basically out there in the general public. She competed in a natural pageant at a mall once and I was creeped out about the masses who gathered around to watch. I was more so when so many of them closed in around us after her turn on stage. They were invading our personal space and just far too close. I looked in my rear view mirror the whole way home to make sure no one followed us home. No one followed us home. I do not want to feel like that ever again.My daughter knows she is a beautiful person no matter what her appearance. Whether it be in full hair and make up or covered from head to toe in mud. She is a prissy girl who also likes to get dirty. She has come in from the back yard with mud all over her and tracking it on the kitchen floor saying “Ooops, sorry I made such a mess.” My response is “Hey, you’re washable and so is the floor.”
>Pageants, yuck. I think they’re ALL extremist and shallow.Why not give the little girls lessons in whatever, ballet, piano, singing, and perform her talent with her class or at the instruction school. Or art lessons or some other specialized study. I don’t understand pageants for little girls. Part of what makes children so beautiful, is thier lovely flawless skin, I can’t imagine having to “enhance” it with make-up or photo retouching. That’s just weird.
>Pageant Mom (both of you): Thanks for clearing up my question on the interviewing portion. I admit I was curious to how that worked. And thank you for taking the time to answer all of us, and so respectfully. You are a credit to Pageant Moms and seem mostly reasonable.I agree there are extremists in everything, and pageants (not just the glitz ones either) can’t be exempt just by the nature of competition. But I think the answer I would like to know the most is the answer to Lindsay’s question, why glitz? Pageants in themselves aren’t what’s setting everybody off on the judgment trip. It’s the glitz ones.
>”Pagent Mom” is an idiot and a butthole.Apparently you have no idea that you’re teaching your kid that looks are what’s important, rather than depth of personality.Children are not meant to be adults, or they’d be born all grown up.
>I can’t understand it either. I doubt I ever will. Argh…I just feel sorry for the kids.
>quite honestly, no matter the arguments pro-pageant, they lost my support:a- with the airbrushed photosb- when you detailed the parents physically abusing/mentally abusing the kids that did not perform to spec.
>I have to say those glitz photos are a total WTF to me. Seriously how can anyone think they look great or should be something to be proud of is beyond me. Pagents don’t happen here in New Zealand at least not the glitz variety. It is sickening to see the lengths these parents go to to have their children on display.
>I stopped at the sentence…”It’s wrong to judge anyone by a photo.”Uhhh…sure about that? Because I’m pretty sure we judge child pornography based on the photos. Sometimes we make child abuse decisions based on the photos.Lots and lots of things are accurately judged by the photographic evidence and in this case the pictures speak for themselves. I totally respect any mother’s right to raise her kids as they see fit…as long as the child is safe and taken care of. I’m sure Pageant Mom and lots of other ‘pageant moms’ are as good at motherhood as the rest of us. But for the ones who think those Stepford Babies are ‘beautiful’ or ‘glamorous’, I hope you know your babies are on a short road to Hookerville. Or Stripperville. Or Playmateville. Or Mama, I can’t believe no one takes me seriously when I apply for a job-ville.In the end you’ll get what you’ve paid for…cheap girls.
>Wow. I know nothing about pageants. Just saw “Little Miss Sunshine” though and that was pretty cool. Maybe I’ll put Archer in a pageant. Are boys allowed? The closest I have ever come to knowing pageant moms are knowing “stage moms.” Moms who get their kid’s agents and pimp their shit MK & Ashley style. I don’t want to be mean so I’m going to keep my mouth shut. Great post, lady.
>”Little Miss Sunshine” makes an excellent point about these pageants. Why any one would objectify their child is beyond me. Some things are just wrong.
>OH MY GOD. The pictures of these kids! They look like Seed of Chucky. Or Seed of Chucky’s Sister. They look as though they’ve paid a visit to the taxidermist. There is nothing remotely beautiful or worthwhile about this enterprise. Nothing.
>Wow.WOW.Thanks for the post.I’m interested in mary p.’s comment .. mainly as there is 42 of them already, and I can read hers while i type mine :pFrog-in-a-pot-of-water. Yes, this I will remember … and … poor froggy đ
>If pageant mom comes back, I wonder if she’ll at least acknowlege that the points made about why most of us don’t agree with the nature of glitz-style pageants can be valid. That there ARE parents who are too involved, push too hard, are spend more than they can afford. And that their kids aren’t happy?
>it’s all evil. and sick. disgusting. and completely self-absorbed. I think they should be ILLEGAL. Sure it’s “socially” acceotable (barely…just barely)….but wife beating used to be as well.It’s just gross, man. Gross.I would be ASHAMED to admit publicly that my kid was in one of those Glitz deals. The only people who would understand why are your fellow pageant FREAKS.It’s wrong……so wrong.
>this is pretty much insane. somehow if you have decided it is a good idea to involve your child in this sort of thing, then you have decided based on your own thoughts, feelings and impressions of this sort of thing. i mean, it’s all about you, not your little kid. little kids want to run around and play. you are conditioning your child, and hopefully when she is old enough she will learn how to play with matches and incinerate those photos after having a good laugh.
>If they want a doll, they can have one made.http://www.dollfactory.com/There is no excuse for what they do to those little kids. It’s sick, twisted, and NOT the child’s choice.
>Oh, another thing. I think Pageants play on (the parents) for the want of popularity, or beauty, or being the best, or the “my child is better than your child” thing.$700 dollars to enter? Someone’s laughing all the way to the bank.
>FAKE TEETH! FAKE TAN! FAKE PICTURES! don’t you get lady- there’s nothing OK about this-and who’s making all the profit off you people!L-These are mom’s who sadly didn’t feel “special” or like “princess” themselves growing up- and now they try to fill the void!They need to just have a frigging tea party-dress up party with their babies- not this.WRONG! it’s just wrong.
>I’m sorry. I find this like a train wreck. I have to keep coming back to it, and believe me I’m not proud of myself.QUOTING FROM ABOVE:”I am not fond of pageants that are held in the general public. I do not sign her up for pageants that are held at the mall, fair or basically out there in the general public. She competed in a natural pageant at a mall once and I was creeped out about the masses who gathered around to watch. I was more so when so many of them closed in around us after her turn on stage. They were invading our personal space and just far too close. I looked in my rear view mirror the whole way home to make sure no one followed us home. No one followed us home. I do not want to feel like that ever again.”Does this seem normal to everyone. To be fearful of people in public places? Being fearful of strangers? Saying people were invading her personal space (in a public place).And yet, if these folks really feel this way why would they dress their kids up and put them out there in this manner in the first place?I just don’t get it.
>This may be the way she approaches it, but you’d think she’d have seen enough of other contestants to know that even if she retains some scrap of sanity and interest in her child, she is not in the majority.
>Nor can I. The photos alone are disturbing.
>I have seen this same mindset going on at–are you ready–DOG SHOWS:”It is hard for a judge to see little Jane’s beautiful smile when little Susie has the same amount of missing teeth but has a flipper.”Great logic. SO, instead of having a rule against such fakery, and enforcing, it, you just accept and adjust to the fakery, so that, in order to maintain a level playing field, then EVERYONE has to cheat! It’s like how you noticed that one little girl WITHOUT fake hair, and immediately thought how out of place she looked amongst her competition!Oh, and the “dog show” comparison–there are MANY examples I could give, but here’s just one: Hairspray is ILLEGAL in AKC dog shows. No fudging, it’s against the rules. Period. BUT, it enhances the appearance of the coat, so some “big time” pro handlers will break the rules, knowing it’s unlikely they’ll be called on it. And when the judges, instead of enforcing the rules, give those entrants the WIN, then every other competitor realizes that to compete with the “big boys,” they’re going to have to use hairspray, too. Pretty soon you have a situation where, if someone refuses to cheat, their entry sticks out like sore thumb, and looks, compared to the cheaters, “like an unmade bed.” So everyone cheats. And the vicious cycle is completed when the judges, having nothing else to choose from, just get used to putting up the cheaters, and it goes on and on and on. I’m betting that it started out that way with the “flippers,” and that if EVERY parent of Glitz girls agreed, at the same time, to STOP using the stupid fake teeth, and let their girls show in all their gap-toothed glory, that the end result, as far as who wins what, would be for the most part the same. Ditto fake tans, hair extensions, excessive makeup, and everything else. Why not level the playing field by STOPPING the excess, instead of knuckling under to it?P.S. I wonder if your emailer was the same mom who called my Times editor and threatened to sue if he didn’t remove the link to the “Total Nockouts” page (he didn’t)? One great thing came of that, in that the page, at least temporarily, came down.
>I saw the HBO show about pageants. I believe the parents have been rationalizing their actions for so many years that they actually believe what they say. I believe it’s all about the competitiveness of the parent, like annie, above, wrote.It seems these parents come from a completely different mindset and will never be able to see the other side’s argument. As, I suppose, I will never get the pageant parent’s rationalizations about why their children participate and what they want out of it.
>Some of you mentioned for mothers to get thir child involved in other activities like ballet, cheerleading, etc. Have you been to a recital or cheer competition lately? At the last ballet recital I attended, all the girls (3 yrs and up) had on a ton of stage make-up, some complete with false eyelashes. And cheerleading? Just type in “cheer ponytails” on eBay, you’ll find a ton of fake hair just for competition there and most of these girls get their tans sprayed on, too. The list of activities goes on and on where all the stage make-up is used (even on those men/boy actors!)You’re right, not ALL pageant mothers raise their children with high values and morals. There’s a cross-section of many, just as there is any real-life situation. Raising a well-adjusted child has everything to do with how you treat all aspects of the life they are involved in and giving them experiences they can build on. WHY glitz pageants? WHY NOT?? Why cheerleading?? Why not?? Why dance recitals?? Why not??? Why not let them enjoy activities of all kinds if they want it? Especially, when first comes God and family, education, and then comes the extra activities such as sports and pageants. AND they are also given opportunities to travel and all the other things you mention would be “better choices.” And, I can answer for at least one former pageant competitor, now 26…she grew up to graduate with honors from high school AND college, and is now a wonderful mother herself. She has a great outlook on life and is a super communicator…that would be my oldest child. I don’t have any doubts that my seven year old who is in pageants will grow up just as wonderful. Is it appropriate for a man to wear make-up? Answer: only for the cameras. Is it appropriate for children to have on make-up, fake hair, lashes and teeth? Answer: only for their glitz competition.Teach them appropriate behavior for all aspects of life and your children will know the difference. Sign me Mother of four…all who have competed in pageants; two who really love the stage, one who decided horses were her thing and one who prefers sports. All four have my support to pursue their dreams!
>I think you pageant moms just have to ask yourselves why most of society is disgusted and appalled at the idea (and the evidence) of glitz pageants. Don’t you think there must be something to all this disapproval? Don’t you get tired of trying to defend yourselves?I think I’ve said this before, but as a child, I was very involved in theater. Yes, I wore lots of makeup. Yes, I even wore a wig, in Annie. But at no point did I ever look like anything other than a child. What bothers me about what I saw at the glitz pageant was that little girls were made to look like full-grown women. I am absolutely convinced that this is a mistake, on so many levels.
>Dear “Mother of Four”-Yes, we wore “Stage make-up” in ballet recitals back when I was a little girl; it’s customary in ballet and theater to wear this to make your face visable to the audience, not for head-shots or to be the prettiest, it looks ridiculous up close. As for Cheerleading, my daughter cheered all through school and most of the girls only wore mascara. Those girls were gymnasts and atheletes and worked hard and would have had makeup running down their face.As for fake tans, I have NO idea who you’re talking about. The Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders? Because both football and basketball season cheer outfits had high necks and long sleeves.And, oh yeah! Both these activities encourage girls to be physically fit AND work together as a team, what a concept!
>I can tell you about a girl who has been doing pageants, both glitz and natural for the past 15 years. My daughter. She is 17 now and is an honor roll student, has lots of friends is a jazz & ballet dancer, is a varsity cheerleader and an assistant Sunday School teacher. My daughter is a girl that I am very proud of. The reason we got her involved with pageants is that she use to have terrible seasonal allergies, and she was allergic to all bug bites, ie: bees, ants, mosquitos. So we figured that she would be better off doing indoor activies. She still got dirty and played outside, in fact, I use to tell pageant directors, “Hey, she cleans up good”.To the person who wanted to know what would happen to these girls in ten to twelve years, let my daughter be an example. I have never yelled at her at a pageant, although they can get somewhat stressful, I have never pulled her arm, or told her she wasn’t “pageant pretty”, or told her she did a bad job on stage. She already knew what kind of job she did without me telling her. She was the same way with her auditions, she knew how she did, she always has. As for the stage mothers comment, I have seen stage mothers at pageants, but ironicly I have never run into one at an audition. And my daughter’s first audition was at 6 mos. for huggies. Yes, I think things have gone a little far, with the spray on tans and the lashes and flippers, but they’ve been doing that for the last 10 years. It’s nothing new. The only reason people think it’s something new is because most children retire from pageantry by the age of about 12-13. I remember putting tinted tanning lotion on my daughter when she was ten. No, she’s never worn a flipper-I think they are kind of stupid. The spray tanning isn’t as bad as a Mistic Tan, my daughter used one before Prom last year and was sneezing out orange snot for two days. The spray tanning is nothing like that. I also saw “Little Miss Sunshine” and it brought out a lot of good memories-like not being able to find the turnoff for the hotel, and being a total “newbie” and having that “huh” look on my face. People were sooo shocked by the pageant part of the movie, but I thought the “regular”family were the real crazies. Sorry I wrote a book…maybe I will write a book. But, I had to let you all know that most of the girls go on to lead normal lives. BTW, did you know the Miss America, from Florida, Miss Erikca Dunlop use to be a full glitz pageant kid. I know, my daughter use to participate in the same pageants she did.
>Hi….Haven’t commented in awhile, but wanted you to know that I read you every.single.day I am following all of this, and I am appalled. I can’t believe that anyone with a brain in their head thinks this is acceptable…..nuts.
>Children are not cookie cutter people, they vary and each ends up their own particular Best Cookie. Our jobs as parents is to allow them the opportunities to try new things and back them up in what motivates them. No matter how many children you have a parent wants to do the best they can for each.You’re right – we allow THEM opportunities – that they CHOOSE. It is obvious the PARENTS are choosing this for their children. My children pick the instrument THEY want to play – we don’t do it. Only a few minutes here and there? Who the hell are you kidding? It takes 15 minutes for my kids to get a TRIM. My 7 year old has all she can do to hold still. My 4 year old is just now starting to sing with her class instead of staring at them, and it’s been two weeks. And you guys subject your children who are 3 years old and older to all of this? You know, I’m glad she found our worries and horror funny. It just proves her state of mind. She went to great lengths to defend this, yet it just made me dislike the whole phenomena even more.Big whoop about the “FUN” after the event. How about you just do that yourself as a family? This is not about teaching your kids anything – it’s all about the parents’ standing in society. You are teaching them about popularity and how being fake wins from a toddler age. You seriously cannot compare our children playing instruments or having to put on make-up for an everyday cheerleading competition or a play to airbrushing tans and hair extensions and $1200 outfits.I appreciate these moms trying to defend themselves in a pool of sharks – I really do. But I am appalled that you seem to be so naive and selfish.
>To Suburban Turmoil…yes, we do get tired of defending something our daughters enjoy becuase the media ONLY portrays the activity in a negative way. Most of the public has absolutely no idea what it’s really like to be involved in pageantry. You wrote “what you saw.” Kudos for being a good writer that can sensationalize and use terms that interest and sway the public. On the other hand, how dare you call your OPINION “evidence.” To Annie…almost all pageant girls (and boys are involved, too!) DO the other activities you are so proud to mention. They take dance, gymnastics and music of some type. They are very physically active!So many keep asking about what these girls will end up like? If a TRUE scientific research was done, I’d bet the percentage of well-rounded, productive, successful citizens would be far greater with a section of pageant girls than non-pageant girls if conducted fairly!
>By being rude to me personally, you’re doing nothing but make people believe they’re justified in loathing people like you.I’m just sayin’.
>Now that’s calling the kettle black! Now you’re trying to sway people to LOATH someone because of a comment that in your OPINION is rude? I presonally don’t care for journalism written to criticize a certain group of people, but I don’t go around encouraging people to loath the journalists who do it. Thank God we live in America where freedom of speech is a right, whether a journalist with her own opinions or a pageant mom with hers! God Bless us all!
>First of all, it’s loathe, not loath. Second, I would never encourage anyone to loathe you- I’m simply letting you know how you’re coming off online. I think you’re falling into a trap that I see too often these days, in that you’re getting angry and resorting to insults. I can’t speak for everyone who’s commented on this issue, but I think that most of us on both sides are trying to be civil. It only helps your cause to put your anger aside and either try to discuss this topic objectively or keep your opinions to yourself.God bless America!
>Toyfoto – You do not need me to validate your views and opinions. I have already said there are extremist in pageantry as there are in most any activity. They are rare but they do exist in pageantry. I am not fearful of the general pubic. The mall pageant we went to, my daughter was wearing a simple dress purchased at a department store in that same mall. She had no make up on and her hair was in pony tails, nothing fake. Invading our personal space was putting it lightly. We were in circled to the point their bodies were up against ours. We could only move an inch at a time as we made our way back to the opposite side of the stage. The director asked over his portable PA system that people back up but they did not. He had to come off the stage and make a path for us. Yes, I thought it very odd. While I was looking in my rear view mirror I thought we should have run out of the mall instead of back on the stage. I think it was better that we went back to the stage rather than try to make it to the distant mall exit.Lahdeedah – We went to the fair Friday night and had a great time. So much so we forgot the time and it was 10pm when we left! Each of my children had a ribbon for their entry from participation on up to 2 place and they were thrilled! Saturday we visited with Grandma and Grandpa to catch up with their travels. Today we went to a pageant, dinner and the movies. (read the new blog post and have comments there about Little Miss Sunshine)Lindsay – I hope you or your readers will not group all Pageant Moms as feeling the same. The other Mom who has posted here might be upset but remember, one or a few are not ALL of any group. Examples are..but not limited to…ALL Stepmothers, ALL Housewives, ALL Second wives, ALL Soccer Moms, ALL Pageant Moms….etc.”Pageant Mom” from before but not via email đ
>Lindsay, alot of the posts on “your side” include the calling of pageant mothers, “FUH-REAKS”, “crazy”, “butthole”, “idiot”, and the list goes on. How civil is that? Seems to me these words are much harsher than those of the one you reprimanded. Makes me think twice, hmmmmm….
>Seems to me you keep trying to stir the pot. Bless your heart.I’ve enjoyed reading all the different perspectives on this, but I’ve personally written all I can possibly write on the matter, for now. The rest of you are free, of course, to discuss, and I’ll read what you have to say with interest. But I’m three columns away from this subject as it is and I have got to move on.
>This is all quite revolting, sending a message to our young girls that success in life is built on eyelashes and coy poses. No wonder we have an epidemic of bulemia, self inflicted cutting and teenage depression. The pedophile aspect is the least frightening of the lot; what is far more sinister is the message that these parents send to their (mostly female) children. That a “third world” family, (and PS, that third world increasingly exists in your suburban back yard) could be fed for weeks with the dollars spent on a pagent outfit is even more disgusting. Our children could be better served by taking that 1000.00 and donating it to a soup kitchen, a children’s cancer fund, or almost any other cause that doesn’t include tap dancing or satin.
>As a former high-glitz pageant kid who is still competing in pageants twenty years later, I feel like I have to put my two cents in.I was raised in a highly religious family, but I was born a total stage hog. In the deep south in small towns, there aren’t many opportunities for children with high ambitions of performing. So my parents decided to put me in pageants. Never once did I ever wear a bikini or a stomach-bearing outfit. No flippers, no fake tanning, no false eyelashes (except in talent competition when I needed to fit a character), and the only time I ever wore a wiglet was when I took the liberty of cutting my own hair when I was 7. I turned out happy and healthy, and I still really enjoy competing in pageants. I had two extremes in my life of being absolutely ridiculed in school for the way I looked (big, curly, bright red hair), and then on the weekends being praised for them and being announced the most beautiful. I think without pageants in my life, I would have grown up with a horrible self esteem.Today I hold a few state titles, and I also have two little girls who are six months old and two years old. When it comes to my little ones though, they will have to ASK me to do pageants, because I am a firm believer in doing something because you want to, not because you have to. And if they want to do them, guess what? They will never wear a bikini onstage, never bare their bellies, no fake tans, no false eyelashes, no fake hair, no provocative moves.I guess what I’m trying to say is you definitely can’t base an entire industry on a few individuals who expect way too much out of their children.
>Thanks for your input, Amanda. I’ve made it clear in my posts on the topic that I am talking about glitz pageants- the kind in which you really can’t expect to win unless you buy into the fake tans, false eyelashes, wiglets and flippers. The kind of pageants you’re referring to don’t really bother me at all, nor do they bother most people, I’d imagine.
>There are a lot of pageants in the northeast that have Glitz and Natural. East Coast USA has both you compete in the area you feel comfortable in. They have been around for 8 years. Natural means Natural in everything BUT clothes , that even means Natural photo’s.cost to enter states for everything around $225.00 , Nationals to enter everything around $500.00www.EastCoastUSaPageants.com There is another pageant called Heavenly Angels which is an all Natural Pageant- No pageant clothes, no make-up 10-under, no fake hair on any age, no fake eyelashes on any age and no tanning products. Judged soley on your child not what they wear. No pro-am modeling either. Cost to enter States $175.00, cost to enter Nationals around $400 for everything.www.HeavenlyAngelsPageant.comMagical Moments Natural with everything EXCEPT clothesSweet Pea Productions Natural for everything Except ClothesNES has both glitzy and Natural.Glitzy full glitzNatural light make-up allowed, Pageant clothes allowed. The glitz one has been around for 10 years. The Natural this will be her first.www.NESpageants.com
>Ok I have been reading all these Pageant posts recently since my youngest daughter has started to get really into the pageant scene. I think that a year ago I probally would have agreed with everything that most of you think. That is untill my daughter started to compete in Pageants….now my opinion of them is greatly different. I think you all need to realize that really there is no difference for a girl to be in a play at school or preschool. Most of them have costumes and make-up and the kids have fun right? The parents watch and thnk their kids are great right? Well…that is how my daughter is. a few days before the Pageatn she CANNOT wait. She LOVES to get all dressed up and get her hair done. I resisted the make-up for several pageants I don’t even let my older girls wear make-up and they are of the right age. But ya know what, it’s PLAYING DRESS UP and my daughter LOVES it. SO for four hours once every couple months she gets to wear make-up (tastefully done) and get her hair done up. All other days of her life she wears play clothes and has PB and Jam all over her face and plays in the dirt. I think that you are all over reacting to something you know NOTHING about. I agree with that 100% because like I said a year ago that is just how I felt about it, then we actually did some pageants and guess what it is so much fun and wonderful….really who are you to judge? There is nothing wrong with Pageants, just like there is nothing wrong with softball and baseball but I wouldn’t ever put my kids in either of those and I could give you a list of reasons why just like you all do about the Pageants. So if you don’t like Pageants then don’t go to them, and don’t enter your kids in a pageant.
>Little girls would love to dress as Britney Spears, too- but it’s up to moms to teach them what’s appropriate and what’s not. Little girls have no idea when they’re being sexualized.There is nothing tasteful about glitz pageants, if that’s what you’re talking about. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
>false eyelashes and bikini parade – that is really cool!
>Not all Pageants are created equal:)Three years ago, they posted an upcoming “local” pageant at the studio I danced/worked at. It was a preliminary to Miss America. My teacher had done it and encouraged me to do it as well. The pay off? A chance to go shopping, sing and possibly earn some cash for my books for my upcoming semester. I had never done a pageant before and my mother was apposed to it from the start. I had no idea she was a “feminist” until I heard her rant about “parading across a stage in a bathing suit”. My argument? “How is that different than a leotard? Her rebuttal? “At least with a leotard you are wearing tights.” My final comment: “Sweet, my mom thinks my thighs fat.” I did it anyway. I became friendly with the girls I was competing against (many of whom I’m still friends with) and not only took 1st runner up, but the “Miss Congeniality” and the winner of talent (thank you very much!) a grand total of…$300. (Scholarship money that I had to request with a letter and bill from school). The interview process was grueling with questions of politics my major(s) and current events. The pageant world (for me), was new and very exciting. (and no, there were no answers of world peaceâŚ)I competed for the next three years in that circuit and always coming up as 1st runner up (which became a running joke in my family…”always a bridesmaid”, “first loser”, “so close yet so not there” etc.) ha. At the end of each “season” there is a Runner up Pageant for everyone who placed in the locals entitled: “Miss Bay State”. This year, I won! Phew. I competed for Miss Massachusetts last summer and had a blast. I did however take it a bit too seriously and set myself up for heartache when I didn’t make top ten. I even had the classic mishap when the smallest girl in the competition had the same gown (I was the biggest, mind you…me and my size 8 booty…)But I still had my Bay State Crown and I really value it as a big accomplishment. I’m happy for our Massachusetts rep going to Miss America and I’m officially into the “pag thang”! …which brings me too the second half of my “comment”. My little sisters have been big supporters of my, âemmm shall we say, “journey” (please don’t assume I wrapped my life around these pageants…I so did not!) The older of the 2 (who is going into 7th grade and playing varsity hockey as a goalie) decided that she wanted in on the glam. I just entered us both in one of those “other” pageants with the fake everything. We decided to enter (together) in the “glitz” which allows all the fake stuff. (The natural didnât allow any make-up, tanning etc. under the age of 13) She wanted to wear make-up and fake hair for the FUN of it. For us, it’s a costume. She hasn’t had braces yet so she will be flashing her own crooked (but beautiful) smile. We are opting out of swimwear, but we did go to Target and pick up a bottle of tanning spray to paint our Irish bods and Sally’s for some “Barbie hair” I ordered her stuff off e-bay for about $100 I already had mine. The pageant itself was $300 for the both of us and that included two optionals. (Modeling and talent). We are having a blast. I truly believe that if you keep it “healthy” and have fun with it, its OK! Granted, we are from the North East and it seems this pageant world is much tamer. Sorry this comment was epicâŚPS: The moral of my âstoryâ: Keep it light and fun like every extra curricular thing your child does. If itâs not, why do it? Leave the pressure for the âreal worldâ.
>These pageants are one thing: PEDOPHILIAThe only people in the world who don’t seem to see it are the parents.What a shame.
>I do pageants with my 14 mnth old daughter. we do glitz pageants as well as natural. For those of you that actualy think that people put makeup on “BABIES” think again. Yes people use them on older children “so what” what business is it of yours if people put makeup once or twice a month on their daughters for an event? It’s not like mother gets up at 4am. every morning to send their children to school with fake teeth, hairpeices, fake eyelashes, makeup and spray tan for school! The pictures that you so rudely comment about ( glitz photos) are ALL enhanced. I have several photos of my daughter wearing makeup. Did I put makeup on my baby? NOOOOOO!!!!! It’s called phtotoshop people!!!! So what if we spend tons of money on dresses, its OUR money and doesn’t hurt your pocket. I sit and laugh at all the harsh comments that are made about GLITZ pageants. They are dresses with rhinestones BIG deal???? As for the hairpeices go, you try to get a child to sit still to do their hair! I love how people are so apt to say they display their children in pictures for the world to see. If I had to bet 99% of you have myspace with pictures of your children posted. WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE???? So to all of you that speak so harshly of pageants maybe you should mind YOUR own bussiness and do what you think is appropriate with your kids, and we will enjoy our PAGEANTS!TARA
>I’m sure this blog has been dead for a while now. However, I still wanted to leave a comment. I am a 25 year old woman who grew up doing pageants. I began at the age of 6, and did my last pageant at 18. Surely glitz pageants have evolved into a different beast from when I was a child, but the basic idea is still the same. Yet I have accrued no therapy costs, I haven’t been molested nor have I become a drug-addicted tramp. I’m months away from obtaining a Master’s degree from Drake. I think it’s safe to say I’m quite a well-adjusted individual despite my so-called “disturbing/abusive/hyper-sexualized” childhood doing pageants.However, I do see a problem exists. Although I believe the problem stems from the PARENTS and not entirely from the pageants. My parents were quite level-headed about my participation in pageants, and while I did do the occasional glitz pageant, I never exceeded one pageant a month as a whole. Because of this I don’t believe that my parents were as saturated by the atmosphere as other parents, some of which entered their kids in as many as 50-60 pageants a year while I did 12 tops. We’ve all encountered those parents before. The mothers who have their 10 year olds on diets for their Olympic Gymnast pipe dreams. Or the dads who force their teen boys into countless hours of pigskin so they can take the credit when they make it off the second string. Don’t get me started on the parents i’ve met who are academically hothousing their toddlers. The fact is, overzealous parents who live through their children exist in every organized activity. To those of you suggesting pageant moms take up another activity to fill the “bonding void” that pageants filled; you are sadly confused. Those parents who vehemently push their children into pageants against their will would only be equally as bullying and obsessed in a different activity. There is nothing inherently wrong with gymnastics, football or academia but when parents get their priorities out of order what was once a point of interest for a child turns into hell. The same is true of pageants. I hate to see grown adults casting judgement on an activity they have little to no experience in. Furthermore, I wonder how many of the people commenting this blog have put their daughters on a diet for a sports team, or scolded their son over a B paper. It’s all the same thing in my eyes.
>I do not normally read this blog nor do I have confidence that this comment will even be read. However, I was searching for ways to deal with my mother when this popped into the google results. Not surprising as my mother is a certain breed of mom, she's a pageant mom. I have been doing pageants for nearly eight years now and after reading the post, I'm not a bit surprised by the reaction. I started off doing natural pageants and then for about two years i was sucked into the glitz world. I never won more than the amount we put into the pageant, but that never stopped me or any of the other girls from participating. I did take notice that this was aimed specifically at the glitz world, however, it can be assured that once a mother or child for that matter, is exposed to any kind of pageant, they do in fact, undergo a distinc change. Both positive and negative, being bitten by the pageant bug is something i may never be able to shake. I fear that i am suffering from burnout and my mom is nearly out of a job. however, we somehow manage to scrounge up enough money to pay for that next big pageant. I have gained so much from pageantry, confidence, eloquence, poise, grace, the ability to walk in heels that other teens going into high school are scared to death of, but so much else has also come from pageants. My mother will never be the same again, i'm afraid. She has never before been as tense as she is now since being bitten by the pageant bug and her view of acceptable has spiralled so far down I am afraid to see what she hs picked out for me to wear next. Even to a funeral she nearly had me wearing a silky innapproriate for a fourteen year old dress(you see, the bug also makes the parents care a little too much about their children… But then again, maybe that's just mine…), and its unaceptable the amount of money she is shelling out for something that i'm not even sure that i want anymore. I don't think I care what the heck she does with her money anymoe as long as she stops spendng so much of it on me in the ways she has. I am an only child so I can't very ell say the affect pageants have on siblings, but there are ten people living in my household, so to some affect, i can. It has become the running joke that my mother is forcing me into pageants and "what will she pay for you to unwillingly do next?" but somehow i can't bear to quit. Maybe its the fact that if i quit, my redhair gets unfairly put back into its natural strawberry blonde color, I'll have to trade in my tap shoes for a pair of boots because she'll threaten to move us, I know she'll believe I don't love her(as she has claimed this before) and somehow, down deep inside this little black heart of mine i truly do have a love for the stage. Thus, i participate in theatre, but my mom has found my money and she uses it to her best advantage to get me to do the things she wants me to. Having resulted to subconscious ssabotage, my life is far from my desires. BUt if i must do pageants to continue with the things that i love, then let it be. Its worth it to me. I may not participate in glitz pageants any longer, but i just participated in my first year at Teen Texas (a preliminary to Miss America's Outstanding Teen)and see that as the girls get older, nothing changes for them. I felt like i was back in the glitz world, surrounded by fake tans, weaves and extensions, false eyelashes, falsies, and overall way too intense attitudes. Wherever I end up, I truely blame pageants. Of course the word blame is like consequences, there are both good and bad types.hope somebody benefitted from this, though I know it has helped me just coming to terms with this…xoxo,Liz