>And Just Like That, the Dreaded Blended Family Questions Have Begun

>“Mommy?” Punky asked as I tucked her in. “Are you going to stop being my mommy some day?”

“Of course not,” I said. “I’ll always be your mommy. What made you ask that?”

“Well, you know, like with the big girls,” Punky said. “You used to be their mommy, but you’re not anymore.”

And just like that, there it was. The moment I’d been dreading since the day Punky was born. I can’t say I was expecting it to happen at that particular moment, but if I’ve learned anything from parenting teenagers and little ones, it’s to remain calm. They take their cues from me.

“Oh,” I said mildly, “Well, the big girls have a different mommy.”

“What?” Punky asked, surprised. “Everyone has two mommies?”

“No,” I replied, hesitating. I tried again. “You know how you and Bruiser were in my tummy?”

“Yes.”

“Well, the big girls were never in my tummy. They were born in their mommy’s tummy and she took care of them when they were little.”

“What happened to her?” Punky sounded worried.

“She moved away,” I told her. “She got a job and moved away.”

Punky gasped. “That wasn’t very nice!” she said stoutly.

“Well, you don’t need to worry,” I told her. “I’ll never move away from you. And that’s why I take care of the girls now, because their mommy lives somewhere else.”

Punky looked satisfied. She smiled and lay back on her pillow and I kissed her goodnight. I decided early on not to sweat these moments, to treat them as if they were entirely normal questions that every family faces (and these days, more than half of all families do!). It’s working.

At least for now.