Sport Clips: The Hooters of Hair
“Your hair looks great,” I told Dennis the other day after he’d arrived home from a haircut. “Who did it this time?”
“Trudy,” he said. “She always does such a good job. Although she told me she’s being courted by Sport Clips, so I might have to start going over there.”
“Sport Clips?” I said, frowning. “Are you kidding me?! I forbid it.”
“What? Why?” Dennis asked, confused.
“Oh, Dennis,” I said, shaking my head at his naiveté. “Sport Clips is basically a Hooters for hair.”
Dennis laughed. “No it’s not,” he scoffed.
“Dennis,” I said patiently. “I see the girls from Sport Clips come in when I’m at Starbucks. They wear a lot of makeup and have cute hair and they’re all, ‘Ooh! Come in and see me some time!’ to any man they see in the place– and then they turn and give me these really smug looks, like ‘Your husband’s next, betch.‘ So basically, if you even set foot in that place? They’ve won.”
OMG! I could, like totally see myself as YOUR STEPMOTHER!
“Think of it this way,” I explained to Dennis. “Imagine if I were to go to a salon called Pecker’s. A salon filled with attractive, heterosexual male stylists. How would you feel? And what do you think people would think of me if they saw me going in there?”
“Uh, can we just drop it?” Dennis asked.
Point. Made.
I might have stopped my husband from having his own Sport Clips experience, but I’m one of the very few lucky ones. Sport Clips has infiltrated my own neighborhood and I’ve never seen so many buzz cuts around here.
So I’m thinking of taking up a collection from all the book clubs, bunco players, and mom groups in the area to open a salon right next door to Sport Clips. The stylists will all be wives, and they’ll be welcome to volunteer at my place any time their husbands are getting their hair cut next door. We’ll call it Shear Terror.
Franchise opportunities are available! E-mail me for details.
EDITED TO ADD: Sport Clips responds! Here’s what they had to say.
Sport Clips feels it is in everyone’s best interest to set the record straight. We are a family-friendly men’s and boys’ haircutter; however, there are others in the industry that do fit your description. Our founder, a lifetime member of the Veterans of Foreign Wars who puts family and country first, has gone so far as to recommended to our franchise owners that they keep certain issues of common sports magazines out of the waiting area to maintain an environment where parents will be comfortable bringing their children. If you visit a Sport Clips, you will find televisions tuned to sports programming, family-friendly reading material, “memorabilia” of popular teams and players for purchase, and hair care services that are appropriate for “hubs” and their “cubs”.
Kindly,
Your Friends at Sport Clips
Totally on point! You are really smart.
Too bad suburbanturmoil. I feel you can take away the suburban part. SportClips recently opened in our neighborhood and I found this article in my google search to see if sports clips offered any service for women (was planning to take my wife, if they did). Instead of blasting out at the the previous commenter have you considered that he would have had similar intentions? Your husband and your life is in your hands, not in the hands of any service personnel at SportClips (or any other place) who spends less than 15-30 minutes. Sincerely feel that will give your husband a breather than “forbid”ing from so senseless stuff. Good luck!
Maybe he was just looking up “Sports Clips” in order to find one near his area. Don’t just jump to conclusions. That’s a real problem out in the world these days.
This blog is amazing. Your husband is lucky to have such an awesome wife.
Wow you are so smart and totally know what you are talking about. You are just awesome.
This was freaking hilarious.
You sound like a person who is completely hilarious and fun to be around.
I laughed hard.
Thank you for writing this article
I have worked for Sport Clips for 6 1/2 years and this is hilarious!
you can go anywhere and get your hair cut by a female…but i ask why go to a hair salon with a shower… that’s shady shit.. and you guys ever heard of trusting your husband but NOT OTHER WOMEN!!! WOMEN can be pretty slutty for money and having a “shower” room in your facility is just asking for problems y put people threw temptation like that.
SportClips does not have showers. Those signs are false advertising.
You’re all right. I’m one of those slutty women who cut your husband’s. We are everywhere and you can’t stop us. He will lie to you and say he is going to work. He will tell you he stopped at the barber by his work. You better put a tracker on his phone because “they’re r***ng everyone out here.”
shit if i had i an amazing wife like you id feel lucky.
Lol!! And btw there are no “showers” that’s just where the shampoo bowls are. FALSE ADVERTISING BY SPORT CLIPS.
It’s a place to get hair cuts. So it has some good looking women, so it has sports. But in the end it isn’t really like hooters. At most a guy is there for maybe 20 min, most of the time the stylist stands behind them blocking any view in the mirror. They wear full clothing, although tight and form fitting still covers most of them up. Not that I notice their tight and form fitting clothes, or the fact that they employ some good looking women, in case my wife is reading this.
OMG I’ve worked for SC for 10+ years and this may have made my whole year! Absolutely hilarious!!! I’m gonna show all my slutty coworkers right now!! Bahahahaha
You sound like an extremely insecure woman. As a happily married hairstylist of 22 years I can say that beauty is our business. I worked/managed for Sport Clips for a number of years and can tell you that the uniform is a sports themed shirt, sweat pants with tennis shoes! There’s nothing sexy about that! As far as hair and makeup, is that a joke? Stylist do not and should not go to work looking like they just rolled out of bed! Sport Clips prides it’s brand on being very conservative, unlike Hooters! As far as your comment about “peckers” well love, that would be a strip club, which I’m betting your husband would love for you to attend. If nothing else it might loosen you up a bit. Stylist who work in an all male salon are not there to pick up your man or wreck your, I’m guessing, unhappy, home. It’s simply a choice made to fall away from doing women’s hair because it’s highly overrated. It’s time consuming and women rarely reward great work with a decent tip. Gonna make sure you have enough left over to get new shoes I guess. A word of advice, spend less time blogging about your personal/marital problems and insecurities and look for a good counselor!
Y’all know this post was satire, right?
i have worked for Sportclips for 5 years now, never once have i ever been so offended by some stupid article from some jealous wife.
Guys come to Sportclips to be in the EXCITING sports environment and are able to sit in our chair and get their hair cut by someone who is not going to yak their ear off, they come because its relaxing and fun, especially the team i work with. we are ALWAYS laughing and smiling and in an awesome mood! we even have single moms bring their children in ( girls and boys) because they love the environment.
Guys coming to get an awesome haircut and a relaxing shampoo for the 20 minutes is A LOT LESS “SKEPTICAL” then you or any other jealous wife going to a spa and getting a full body massage by some buffed up handsome gentlemen.
not too mention out uniforms are simple t-shirts that cover everything from waist up. and we wear black pants with tennis shoes. and YES OF COURSE WE DO OUR HAIR AND MAKE UP WHEN GOING TO WORK, WHO DOESNT?????????
when you are at starbucks getting your coffee and see one of us sportclips girls getting a coffee before we stand on our feet for the 6-12 hour shift we are about to work and we tell your husband or son or even you because you have five sons or whatever, to “come in and see me sometime”, its called MARKETING! thats also part of our job! to grow our store!
Also when we say that ” GUYS WIN”, they win an Championship Haircut experience in and exciting sports environment! they get 20 minutes to themselves to relax, breathe, time to themselves. just like you when you are getting your nails done, your hair done, or getting your FULL BODY massage or your facial or your eyebrows done or your bikini wax.
and the captions you have underneath these pictures are just out of this world.
“YOUR STEPMOTHER”?!
“BEST CHANCE SINCE 1997”?
“SHOWERS”?
half of the ladies that work for sportclips are married with children probably the same age as your children.
half the gentlemen that come to us, talk about their wife and children for the 20 minutes they are in our chair.
and showers? its a SPORTS ENVIRONMENT! you have actual showers at the spa you go to or the gym you go to. COME ON!
i think you need to stop judging us “Hooters of Hair” and come in one time and see that we are actually genuine young ladies that are just trying to make a living for ourselves and families.
MMMkay. Hello. I feel the need to step in and mention the following.
1. This post is ancient, and no one reads it anymore except for Sport Clips hairdressers who pass it around and get offended. Oh, and married men who find this post by doing searches for “hot girls at Sport Clips” and then leave comments saying they ONLY go to Sport Clips for a good haircut and HOW DARE I insinuate they want to ogle the hairdressers.
Heh.
2. This post was OBVIOUSLY MEANT TO BE FUNNY. I don’t care who goes to Sport Clips and who doesn’t. I just think the whole idea of the place is hilarious. There’s no need to get breathless and offended, y’all. My husband is welcome to go to Sport Clips any time he wants, although I would probably tease him about it. Because… HILARIOUS.
3. Seriously? Life’s too short to get worked up over a blog post some D-list mommy blogger wrote in 2010. Go outside and pick flowers. Read some Jane Austen. ENJOY YOUR LIFE. If you’re even bothering to read this post, well, that’s 5 minutes of your life you won’t get back. And there are no refunds.
Admittedly yes it is old, so if your opinion has changed then change the post. You need to be upfront that this was intended to be ‘funny’. I’m educated and usually have a killer sense of humor but I didn’t see anything in your post that says “I’m joking” Yes I get worked up, I apologize, but at the same time I took it as a personal insult to my sis. So here it is a full apology for my crazed bitch rant earlier. I’m very sorry, I took out the anger of several bad things that have happened to me recently and fueled them into a angry comment. You didn’t deserve everything I said or for me to make instantaneous judgement on you based on a two year old post. I admit I messed up. Just understand that I was so angry originally I didn’t check the date on the post or the rest of the comments.
🤣 I love this so much. This right here is amazing . I love you already . You’re right. I don’t even know how I found this post anyway . I never have even heard of you. 🙌🏼🍻
The post is even more ancient now, but it was the second result on google when I looked up “Why is Sport Clips neck and shoulder massage not done in WA?” I don’t even live near WA, but I saw a note on their website that it wasn’t available in WA or OR and was curious as to why. So your claim as to how people discover the post is not entirely accurate
ALAN! You must be my spirit animal, because 1 month later I am here for the exact same reason.
This post is hilarious.
Wow! I’ve been going to Sports Clips for over a decade and I am happily married. My wife actually popped in a couple of times to see what kind of service I was really receiving. And she was pleasantly surprised to see how laid back and professional the stylists and atmosphere really was. After her personal experience there she constantly recommends that I go there, even though we moved to a rural area and it’s like an hour and a half drive now. The stylists there are very friendly but not just to male clients. I’ve seen women go there and even moms bringing their sons in from ages of 5 to 18 years old. They act like their clients are super special to them because it is their corporate policy that their employees treat the customer as if they are personal friends, because that makes a customer hate to go anywhere else. Just good business sense, because it’s all about the Benjamin’s! If a woman is afraid of her man being treated like he’s special, then you already have failed in your relationship. Just saying…
If they start serving wings I’m in.
I couldn’t agree with you more! Well said! In no way shape or form, would I want another woman massaging my husbands head! That’s my job! Amen sister!
If you have a problem with another women massaging your husband with an electric massager, he can opt out and not pay for that service. If you think a sports themed men’s salon is the hooter’s of hair cuts maybe you insecure,crazy ladies should google Knockouts.
My daughter has worked a Sports Clips in the Kansas City area for years. She has many repeat clients and yes, Sports Clips caters to the male species . You can cut their hair quicker and generally men can be better tippers/nicer than females . She is on her feet hours and hours then goes home to take care of her two little boys . She doesn’t flirt with the men, she listens to alot of the men complain about their wives and girlfriends …. After reading your blog , I believe you have some self esteem issues and are coming from a very judgementmental place. I am so glad you are perfect and have the time to put down so many wonderful girls who so very hard for little wages. You have basically called my own daughter a whore , her co workers and managers and the owner a pimp. Can you say ” get a life”, “find a hobby”, and please seek counseling.
We can’t help that we were born attractive women that cut great hair, sorry!
You are one funny woman! My Sport Clips friends and I couldn’t stop laughing after we read this post!
That is all, have a wonderful day.
[…] Thank the Google Doc “Explore” feature for finding this gem! A Nashville-area mom and housewife took Sports Clips to the woodshed for being the “Hooters for haircuts” and it’s everything you want it to be. Quite possibly […]
I recently had my first Sport Clips experience. I live in MD. I am not a sports fan, it was just convenient. My wife was with me. The first thing I noticed was there were a lot of very attractive stylists. All wearing yoga pants. The second thing was that they tried to sell me on a VIP something package. Being my first time I got the royal treatment. The hair wash was a little sensual, but that could just be the girl had a soft touch and didn’t yank my head around like some other places do. The hot towel was nice. I could have dozzed off. The cut was pretty good, nothing spectacular. The shoulder massage was odd and really didn’t do anything for me and really only lasted a maybe two minutes. All in all I can see why it makes wives uncomfortable. But it wasn’t as bad a going to Hooters. If I had one complaint it would be that I just wanted a wash and cut. I felt pressured into upgrading.
Suburban Turmoil –
Wonderful blog! I found it while searching on Yahoo News.
Do you have any tips on how to get listed in Yahoo News?
I’ve been trying for a while but I never seem to get there!
Cheers- calator.tel
Hahaha this is a joke right??? You’ve gotta be kidding me right? Are you really worried about sport clips? Please tell me you have more self confidence than that. I’m a former hairdresser. Most women stylists at any given salon are attractive. Plain and simple. And the talented ones aren’t working at a sport clips or trying to steal anyone’s frumpy man 🤣
You are crazy and insecure… it’s a hair cut. You’re over analyzing stylists lives. You’re over analyzing photos. This article was comical. Maybe smoke something
Thank you for this! People need to know. My husband tried it one time and said never again, and I don’t blame him. It made him very uncomfortable! So thank you for bringing attn to this problem. It is not a place for Christians.
I think Jesus would have preferred the massage over the crown he wore for your sins
This is satire. It’s not a real post.