>Because I care about you.

>Please read this and pass it on to someone you love. It happened to my sister-in-law’s third cousin’s dog’s veterinarian’s wife and it is real. Hopefully, you can spare someone else from having to go through this.

A few months ago, a woman named Adelaide Hoffenpepper stopped at a gas station on her way to work. As she got out of her car, she was approached by an elderly woman asking her for a ride to the doctor’s office. Although the woman seemed familiar, her bushy beard and mustache made Adelaide uneasy.

Even though Adelaide felt sorry for the woman, she said she could not give her a ride. She ran to the payphone and called the police, who told her the “woman” was actually a serial killer they had been looking for for months! He often dressed as an old woman. They told her to get in her car immediately and lock the doors.

Adelaide checked the payphone’s coin return slot before running to her car. She felt a sharp sting and realized someone had stuck a hypodermic needle in the coin return slot! “Ouch!” she said, stumbling back to her car, locking the doors and driving to work.

Once at work, Adelaide checked her e-mails. She forwarded a message from the GAP to 15 people so that a $100 gift certificate would appear on her screen. Then, she wrote back to a Nigerian princess who needed Adelaide’s help in transferring her fortune to an American bank account. Adelaide sucked the needle prick on her hand and thanked her lucky stars that she would soon be three million dollars richer.

After work, she left her office and went to her car. She had a flat tire! Fortunately, a nice-looking man offered to help her fix the flat. After he had put the spare tire on her car, he asked if she could give him a ride to his car on the other side of the building. Adelaide was no fool. “I’m afraid not,” she said flatly, before driving off. A few minutes later, she noticed the man had left his briefcase in her front seat. When she opened it, she found a knife, some duct tape, and a box of Fruity Pebbles! “Another cereal killer! What a day!” Adelaide muttered to herself.

Just then, a car drove by without its lights on and she flashed her headlights at the car to alert the driver. The car did a 180 on the road behind her and began following her! Frantically, she drove to her house, pulled in the driveway and laid on the horn until her husband came out.

“That man is following me!” she screamed as a man got out of the other car behind her.

The man waved his arms as he ran toward them. “When I turned my headlights on, I saw a man duck down in the backseat of her car!” he shouted. “I followed your wife to warn her of impending danger!”

The husband opened the back door. Crouched in the backseat was someone dressed as an old woman, who had been waiting for Adelaide to get home before attacking her!

Adelaide’s husband grabbed the killer roughly and pulled him from the car. “Dangnabbit!” the killer cried. “You know I just had this hip replaced!”

“Grammy?” Adelaide yelped. “What are you doing in my backseat?!”

“Welp, you sayed you’d take me to the doctor today, so I been waitin’ back there for hours,” the crone confided. “When I seed you at gas station, I figgered you had come to give me that ride. I must’ve falled asleep back there after you kept me waitin’ so long.”

Ladies, I ask you, what if Adelaide’s grammy had been armed with a butter knife? What if Adelaide had given the man in the parking lot a ride? What if the hypodermic needle was loaded with maple syrup? What if Adelaide was driving a motorcycle and her grammy had had to ride in the sidecar? Is that even appropriate for an elderly woman with a hip replacement?

I urge you to pass this along to all the ladies in your life. If you send it to 10 people within ten minutes, your dearest wish will come true. If you don’t, a bird will fly over your head and poop on you.

BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY!!