>A Pubic Appeal
>As I was getting dressed this morning, I pulled out my lip gloss and unscrewed the top. There, stuck to the wand, I saw…
A pubic hair.
How did this happen? And why did it happen to me? And. Ew.
It’s a stark reality that none of us much like to talk about. Pubic hairs. In the most unlikely places. On the living room mantle. In the freshly changed hotel bed. Under the toaster oven.
Where did they come from? How did they get there? Why do we feel compelled to keep this disturbing phenomenon to ourselves?
It is most unnerving of all for those who have no pubes. Because there is a 100% chance they are touching someone else’s genital hair. And that makes my, I mean, one’s skin crawl.
So ladies, and especially gentlemen, I implore you, for the sake of public health and mental stability, keep your pubes to yourself. Particularly when I’ve gotten out my lip gloss.
Thank you.<!–
>Lip gloss, eh? My brother had to stay with us for a few weeks. It used to drive my wife nuts to see the curly q’s on the bar of soap. Can’t say that I blame ‘er.
>I keep mine shortly trimmed. Thus when the shower drain becomes blocked I can with all righteousness yell at my husband.
>You know what I hate? Finding them in the refrigerator, because you know what that means. I always hope that stray pubes might really just be one of DW’s chest hairs. I can hope.
>Of All Things Sacred! Your lip gloss? The real question here is this: Did you remove the offending hair and use the gloss anyway? 😉
>LOL That reminds me of the time I was in college and found one inexplicably tied in with my shoelaces. I mean, a.) how did I not notice it when I first tied my shoes, and b.) how did it get there? Gross. But now I’m wondering how long you waited before applying your lip gloss. Do not even tell me. ;^)
>The lip gloss … I am not even going to ask … and ewwww … Are you sure it was one of those … The man in my house is hairy and those leg hairs can confuse you but still .. ewww…
>eww!
>Eewww. Sounds like someone’s been using your lipgloss on the wrong set of lips. I can’t believe I just said that.
>How can you be sure it was a pubic hair?!Maybe someone mistook your lip gloss tube for a tampon… 🙂
>I am laughing in my armpit right now, so as to not wake up my sleeping baby. I found a rogue pube in a rather startling spot the other day and I had the same reaction as your post here. And I know it wasn’t MY pube, either.Thanks for the comment on my blog, btw. 🙂
>Imagine getting up at 5AM one day to shower and get to a shift at the restaurant. Imagine turning on the shower to heat up the water. Imagine stepping into the shower and your feet feeling funny. Imagine adjusting your eyes to see the ENTIRE bottom of the tub covered in black curly hair.Imagine your roommate telling you that night that her boyfriend had talked her into shaving it all off so they could get their freak on. Imagine not being able to open up a can of whoop ass because that roommate OWNS the house and you pay rent to her. I moved out.
>Um, Ewwww!I would HAVE to throw out my lip gloss and maybe vomit a little, I mean how DID it get there? And why me, why MY lip gloss?I have an unhealthy obession with my lip gloss and would be forced to cry if someones pube touched it.Pubic hair is a dark secret that we all try to ignore, why? Cause pubes are yucky!I admit it, HEY I’M NOT A PRUDE! I just don’t really dig the pubic hair thing, there dirty and gross.
>ewwwww… gross!but hey, time for a shopping trip to buy more!!!
>My sad, weak, had-two-kids bladder just almost released and I just almost wet myself while laughing after reading this, so thank you VERY MUCH!I think I’d put my house on full pub lock-down after that experience. I can’t even stand it when I see one of the hubs arm hairs on HIS bar of soap. (I refuse to use it.)
>ummm- can’t think of a single thing to make you feel better. Ewww.I can however give you an eww of my own. Once upon a time my brother attempted to give holiday gifts to each and every person in the family. Unfortunately (fortunately) he was unable to stay for the gift opening due to his deep desire to be himself (baa baa black sheep). Anyway as we were opening gifts I noticed that his shabily wrapped gifts had little black hairs stuck under the tape. Every package had been decorated with pubes. And nobody said a word. I still wonder if it was intentional, or if he is that uncoordinated and wraps gifts in the nude.
>I think they breed, like cockroaches. Eeewwwww…Like others, I can blame the husband for any and all stray pubes as I’m bare floor.
>Oh, pubes in the scotch tape. I’d forgotten about that one. Guh-rossss.
>Oh god, I’m laughing about the pubes in the tub. COVERING the bottom of the tub. AFTER she stepped in them.OMG, I’d have amputated my feet.
>First off, think back and I bet you’ll recall both your lip gloss AND your husband missing at the same time! Huh?Second, you made me LMAO because as “one” who also doesn’t have…(throat clears) you know…I too am totally grossed out by pubes anywhere other than in his pants. And even then its iffy! 😉
>Am I the only one who had CLARENCE THOMAS flashing in front of my eyes as I read this?
>My husband only comes homes now and then and after he leaves I find those dang things EVERYWHERE!!!! I, too, am bare so I KNOW they aren’t mine…he always blames them on me.
>LOL!!!! On your lip gloss wand, too. Oy. This reminded me of the Curb Your Enthusiasm episode where Larry David got a pube stuck in his throat and only had it knocked loose after a physical fight with the Joseph from a live nativity scene. Classic.
>Add me to the “EEEEEWWWWWW” list.At our office we get pubes and urine stains on the top of the urinal. Someone is just showing off.
>i’m more inclined to wonder where you’ve been with your lip gloss???the pubes don’t lie.
>I say everyone on the planet get a Brazilian bikini wax and lets be done with pubic hair once and for all.
>:::shudders:::
>eeewwweeewwweeewwweeewwweeeewww!!! she says while stomping her feet at the same time….
>Definitely Ew.And Amen to the last part.
>*hurl*And I confess – I’ve seen them in some odd places in the past. But not my lip gloss. Then again, I don’t WEAR lip gloss very often….A big LOL and EW to yellojkt – my husband has told me some nasty stuff about his company’s bathrooms. :pI think I’ll skip breakfast today.
>”You got pubic hair in my lip gloss!””No! You got lip gloss in my pubic hair!”I’m not even gonna say “two great tastes that taste great together” because that would be entirely too gross. 🙂
>There is a theme running thru your blog, lol.Pubes? Gross. I find one, it’s not mine, and that’s all I am saying.
>Yeah. But then there’s me. I don’t know if it’s a pube or a chest hair. That’s the danger of having a very hairy man. He’s nice to snuggle up to at night. All soft and warm and furry. But then…there…on the kitchen counter…what is it!!! It’s my firm belief that it’s a chest hair…I hope.
>Maybe someone was having a little fun with your lip gloss when you weren’t looking. Hmmmmmmm….If it happens again toss the gloss and install hidden cameras. 😉