>Behold! The Miraculous Powers of the Fussy Shirt!
>The rumor is that Mrs. Kennedy’s t-shirts make your boobs look bigger. Ask anyone who owns one.
Yet despite the shirt’s mystical powers, for months, I resisted buying one. “Writing well is the best revenge,” the shirts say. While I appreciate the sentiment, I don’t know if I actually agree with that statement. I always thought replacing hair conditioner with Nair was the best revenge. But that’s just me.
As it turns out, Mrs. Kennedy somehow telepathically heard my doubts, because she created a new t-shirt that fits my personality to a, um, tee. It is red and it has only one word across it… “Fussy.” And there’s a matching one in pink for Baby.
I had to have them.
Today, my shirts came in the mail while Baby was taking her nap. Immediately, I put mine on. And weird things started to happen.
Unexplainable things.
Things that can only be attributed to my magic t-shirt.
First, my boobs definitely looked bigger. Way bigger. I mean heck. I have shadows.
Then, as I was admiring my new rack in the mirror, my husband called and said he was coming home for lunch. And when I say lunch, I mean, well. You know what I mean.
Once that was taken care of, I got online only to find that I had been published. Twice. Today, you can find me at The Whole Mom and at Parent Hacks.
And I owe it all to Mrs. Kennedy and her amazing Fussy shirt.
I can’t wait to see what happens next…
>I could use some “enhancement!” Congrats!(On the publishing, not the tits.)
>Good things happen when you’re fussy! I think I need one of these shirts…
>Way to go! I meant on the publishing, but, what the heck, on the enhancement, too!
>I need one! Does she make a magic money fairy shirt??
>That is adorable. I need one that says “Cranky Bitch” today. 4 nights of little sleep is getting to me.Congrats on the articles!
>Dang, do they have one that says Procrastinator? with correct spelling of course, cause I could use a reminder now and then and hell, everyone can use a large rack.
>i’ve never heard of them.
>Congrats gorgeous, on the publishingness and yer rack.
>you go girl! you and your shadowy girls!!
>I bought the writing shirt several months ago, because I happen to agree with Mrs. K that actually writing [slanderous things about exboyfriends] is the best revenge. (Hair grows back; reputation, not so much.) The first day I wore it, my son’s behavior did a 180. Yesterday, I broke it out again, and I got a dozen roses and a leetle more attention than usual. So, yeah. It’s a magic shirt. (Plus, it makes my boobies look fab.)
>Penny, you make a very good point. I’m gonna have to link your boobs now.
>Nice shadows, babe.
>I want shadows, too!!LadyBug
>You are a woman of many talents – 3 of them on display here. (your wonderful writing and your girls) Congrats on all three :)xo
>i’ve already got a rack, but would it make mine look….perkier? hmm. worth considering.anything’s possible with magic t-shirts.plus, i definitely need one that says “fussy”
>She doesn’t make pants for the guys by any chance? Um, just curious.
>I am TOTALLY ordering a t-shirt. RIGHT NOW.(Nice rack, by the way.)
>Congrats on all of it – the new boobs, the double publication, and the nooner. What a magical shirt!
>I just changed my screensaver from those men to your Fussy chest! HA!Congrats on all the good stuff today!
>::pulling out credit card to order magic t-shirt::
>You sure those aren’t stunt double breasts like the movie stars use, because they sure do look good.
>Excellent display of the breastal region there, my good woman.Now, a tee shirt for La Lucinda…hmmmmm…how about these:The FUCK is my muse?That’s MS. Anti-social Bitch to you, dork-face.Screw the “Bliss”! How about some Suburban TURMOIL?And I’m just on my second cup of joe.
>Wow! You got lunch! Most excellent. I haven’t had a lunch date with hubs…ever. We might have to schedule one of those. You’re so inspirational Lucinda!
>do u think thay will make 1 that says imma boi?
>and you got some “lunch” too-you lucky,er I mean Fussy girl!
>God, you guys are hilarious. Chag and Grace in particular are cracking me up!
>Cool article at The Whole Mom!Now I’m to read the hacking one…
>dear lucinda, thank you for this featurette on yet another shirt i can never buy, borrow or think to wear. i have to buy undergarments at the expensive stores, made for people with too much cleavage..this is one of the unfair aspects of being busty. there are many, many many others. 🙂