1. Oh Lindsay, I think I know exactly what you mean. My kids are so loving and good to one another, I’m often just staring in amazement at how that’s even possible. My older sister was never loving or protective of me. And since we’ve been adults, she despises me and wants zero to do with me or my children. I’m so grateful to have children who truly love – and truly like – each other. I hope they hold onto that forever, because it’s a gaping hole in my life. Thanks for this touching post.

    • suburbanturmoil says:

      That’s wonderful. It’s a blessing, isn’t it? Your girls are fantastic. Sometimes it’s actually hard for me to watch my kids together because I never knew what a good brother-sister relationship even looked like until I saw it in them– and it makes me realize how much I missed out on.

  2. Mara Gorman says:

    Thank you so much for this. My boys have shared a room for eight years, every since the younger one moved out of his crib. This month, for their 10th and 13th birthdays respectively, we moved the younger one out and gave them each their own room. And no matter how excited I am for them both, no matter how much I know it’s time (the older boy is sweet and kind but he *is* going on 13 and he *does* tease), there’s a part of my heart that breaks every day when I go in to get one of them up for school and the other one isn’t there. You are so right that the best thing we can do is foster this important bond as much as possible – and then also to let it pass naturally through the phases it will go through.

    • suburbanturmoil says:

      Oh, there’s a fair amount of teasing going on around here, too! I think that’s inevitable. I bet your sons will stay close, though. My kids shared a room until my oldest stepdaughter went to college when daughter was in 1st grade- and now that I think about it, the shared room definitely had something to do with their closeness. Even now, they generally sleep in each other’s rooms once or twice a week, and that will probably increase this summer. One of my favorite sounds is hearing them giggling and whispering when they’re supposed to be sleeping. 🙂

  3. LeighTX says:

    Oh, bless him! As my own girls are going through the teen years, I can see them bonding with each other more as they pull away from my husband and myself, and even though my heart misses being so close to them I am certain that they’re building a relationship that, God willing, will last after I’m gone.

    • suburbanturmoil says:

      How sweet. That is a good thing- although it’s HARD. And it’s true, it does all go by so fast!

  4. Hookchick says:

    I felt a similar way about my daughter’s middle & high school experiences. My school years were horrible; my family relocated frequently, I didn’t make friends or participate in anything. Sometimes I was moved to tears of happiness to see my daughter have great friends and lots of fun and participate in something she truly loved (marching band).

    • suburbanturmoil says:

      I totally get that. It’s amazing how our children give us opportunities to right wrongs in our own lives in a way, by making sure that the same things don’t happen to them. 🙂

  5. Adrianne Kincade says:

    This realization came to play at my house January 2014. I have two boys now 12 and 10 and they are each other’s best friends. The oldest wanted a sleepover for his bday. Ok cool. Well those friends didn’t want a little brother hanging around. My younger one was crushed… He didn’t understand. Big Brother let him do everything with him. It was his friends that pushed him away. Such a tough transition!

    • suburbanturmoil says:

      Awww. That is tough. That’s what I really worry about- the time when my daughter’s friends start asking why she’s letting her little brother stay in the room. Right now, they hardly seem to notice. But it is something we always keep in the backs of our minds- We try to have over playmates who have younger siblings when we can, because they also tend to take the little brother’s presence for granted. 😀

  6. lindawirth says:

    This is really touching, Lindsay. As I understand it, sibling relationships are often a mirror of the parent’s relationship. If the the latter is filled with competition, insensitivity and lack of warmth, it will reflect in how kids relate to one another. To the extent that is true, you and Dennis must be modeling some wonderful qualities in the way you treat one another.

  7. buffi says:

    This is wonderful and precious and it makes my heart happy. I love that you let them handle things with minimal parental involvement. And I adore how much Punky loves her brother. It reminds me of my kids. Y’all are just the best parents. Well done!

    • suburbanturmoil says:

      Gosh, I feel like we’re still stumbling through it– but it does help to have done it all once before with my stepdaughters! I’m definitely less panicked this time around. 🙂 And all of our kids are very close, even with a vast age difference, which is wonderful.

  8. Melissa says:

    Before having kids I thought that my goal was to have smart kids. Within 6 months of having my first, I altered my view. I then desired kindness. With my first I wanted her to be kind to her toddler friends. With my second(her sister) I hoped that they would love and adore each other. Now with my third (their baby brother) I doubled my effort and demanded love from them at all times. We will see if this persistence pays off, but from what I have seen thus far it is worth the effort.

    • suburbanturmoil says:

      Good for you. I am in total agreement- I’ve realized as a parent that seeing my children show kindness and compassion to each other and to those around them is far better than an award or straight-A report card, because that’s what will lead to a truly rich and fulfilling life.

  9. My mom always worried about my brother and I when we fought growing up. She was an only child so she didn’t understand that fights are just a part of being a sibling, that being left out is just part of being a little sister. But oh how beautifully close our relationship was, especially as adults. I heard the “pave paradise, put up a parking lot” song today and thought about the fact that I DID know what I had even before it was gone. I’m so thankful for the time I had with him.

    • suburbanturmoil says:

      Oh Mandy, you and your brother really did have a beautiful relationship and that comes through in your writing about him. Love to you.

  10. Jackie says:

    We have an only child, so I really don’t have anything thoughtful to say about this. But I did want to echo your comment about that polka show being hypnotic. We discovered it last summer. It’s fascinating.

    • suburbanturmoil says:

      I have to admit, I was also acting as color commentator while we watched. It was fascinating to me that while some couples were right on beat to the music, a BUNCH of others were completely doing their own thing, with absolutely no regard for the tempo. Must be a polka thing! 😉

  11. Melissa says:

    Oh my gosh, this is my dose of warm fuzzies for, like, ever. I love it. I love it I love it I love it.

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