Bruiser, Misunderstood
I wasn’t prepared for a fussy baby.
Punky was unbelievably easy- She slept six hours a night from the very beginning and hardly ever cried. I’d heard the warnings that lightning never struck twice and my next baby was destined to be a screamer, but I wasn’t buying it. After all, I had made him and I’m not a screamer, so how on earth could I have a screaming baby?
And so when Bruiser was rolled into my hospital room crying and shrieking after he’d been cleaned up and tested, you could say I was dismayed. Alarmed, even. I stared at his face, flushed deep red and scrunched up with rage and double checked to make sure the numbers matched on our hospital bracelets. Yep. He was mine. Gingerly, I picked him up- and the crying ceased. Feeding him what little I could at that point seemed to help, too. I ended up spending almost all my time in the hospital either holding him or feeding him. And while I loved my little son, you’d better believe that I sent him to the nursery at nightfall as soon as I could. I think I know why it took the nurses almost an hour to come get him when I’d call for them to pick him up. I’m sure he kept them busy all night long.
“Oh my gosh, wait’ll we put him in the carseat and try to take him home,” I murmured to Hubs on the morning we were scheduled to check out of the hospital as we stared down at our caterwauling son.
“He’s going to scream all the way home,” Hubs replied, shaking his head. He took a deep breath and lifted Bruiser into his carseat. The crying stopped. It was a miracle. Bruiser slept the entire way home.
Once we got home and took Bruiser out of his carseat, the crying resumed. Unless someone was holding him, he cried. Every so often, I’d swaddle him tightly and put him in his bassinet. Within five minutes, would start up again. Night fell and everyone went to sleep- except me. Over and over, I waited for him to fall asleep and then gently put him in his bassinet. Over and over, a few minutes would pass and the crying would resume. Soon, it was two in the morning. I had been awake since early the morning before. I held Bruiser in my arms and paced back and forth in front of our bed, sobbing quietly.
I can’t believe it, I thought to myself. We had such a happy family and now this. A jerk. I’ve given birth to a jerk. What am I going to do? How am I going to sleep? I’ve got to spend the next 18 years of my life taking care of a jerk! What do people do when this happens? We can’t take him back! We can’t take him back!
Yes, you could say I was losing my mind. I tried nursing him again and looked up “newborn won’t sleep” on the Internet. And that’s when I saw it. Page after page of parents who had been reduced to putting their newborns in their carseats in order to get some peace and quiet.
Eureka.
“Hubs!” I whispered. “Will you go get the carseat? I’m going to see if Bruiser will sleep in it.”
Hubs was more than happy to oblige. I put Bruiser in and, well, you can guess what happened next.
He slept for the next four hours, and then four hours again after that. After spending all that time crammed into my stomach, I’m not surprised that he prefers being snuggled in a carseat to being laid out on a flat mattress.
The next day, my milk came in and he never cried again. Seriously. He cries less than Punky did, and that’s nothing short of a miracle. I guess it made sense that at ten pounds, Bruiser was merely hungry- really hungry- and for the first couple of days he didn’t get much at all to eat.
Sorry I thought you were a jerk, Bruiser. Now, I think we’re going to get along just fine.
>Awww…look at that little face! He’s precious π
>Our second baby fussed so much at night that we would catch an a couple of hours a night by putting her in the vibrating bouncy seat. We went through two batteries a night, but it was worth it. We used to worry that when she was grown she’d only be able to sleep soundly in a massage chair, but after a couple of weeks of life outside the womb she slept pretty well. For a newborn.Glad your baby’s not a jerk.
>We did the carset thing too a few times. It was a LIFESAVER.
>Love that little squishy face. Glad to hear Bruiser is not a jerk. One of mine was a jerk.
>Carseat — great idea! Sometimes the best solutions seem so obvious after we’ve tried everything else. ;^) (Your son is gorgeous, BTW.) π
>Aww, he looks so sweet. Glad you found something that works for you.
>My first son was colicky, he screamed so much in the hospital that a nurse angrily asked me if I could make that baby stop crying.It didn’t get better. Three pediatricians and it didn’t get better. He cried for hours a day until he was around ten months old. (When he started walking and getting into things)Recently he had an endoscopy for an unrelated reason. My poor baby has reflux, he was crying in pain all that time and of course nothing I did fixed him. I’m still a little angry at the pediatricians we saw, for not even suggesting it as a possibility.God, I always loved him, but he was very hard to like. (Yes, you can add guilt to that pile of feelings, too)I’m so glad your little guy has calmed down.
>I too have photos of Jack asleep in his carseat- in the living room π
>Awwww. Hey, he’s a big boy and he was just hungry! Such a cutie. With my second daughter I let her sleep wherever she darn well pleased (including the car seat.) I worried that she wouldn’t transition to the crib but I slowly weaned her from snoozing in the seat and she did just fine.Oh, and white noise is a godsend. Seriously…if you have a fan over your stove, just cut that sucker on and see if Bruiser is mesmerized (the vacuum noise works well too.)Such a cutie!
>Amazing how the second time around is so different, huh? My second is much more jerkier than the first. I say do whatever it takes to get those lil people to sleep. Wrap em up tight, put on some loud music, whatever. Oh, and congratulations, by the way!
>SOOOOO sweet! My son, a screamer (I swear, he cried like a 3 y/o the first time I met him!) slept in his carseat on the dryer for the first three nights he was home. The nurses in the nursery swore he would roll over…they’d put him on his back all swaddled in several blankets, and they’d come back and he’d be on his tummy all uncovered.My daughter slept in a baby bouncy seat for the first 6 weeks of her life….but they both sleep through the night and have since 8 weeks of age (by through the night I mean TWELVE hours!!!)Bruiser is a cutie, that’s for sure!
>What a sweetie! All three of mine slept in a carseat for several weeks as newborns–for whatever reason they all had stuffy noses and it was much much easier to breath sitting up than lying flat.Congrats on such a handsome, non-jerky boy.
>Dare I say this is the calm before the storm ? (I know don’t you hate it when people do that)My little B was such a mellow baby, never cried and slept like a champ. Then he turned 3. Lord help me. He is the craziest, most rambunctious hellion ever (well I suppose their are occasional moments of sweetness).Enjoy Bruiser, he’s a cutie!
>My daughter cried 7 or more hours a day every single day of her life until she was 13 months old. The pediatrician’s comments, every time I took her and complained about it? “She’s just spoiled, let her cry it out.” and “Maybe you should stop breastfeeding.” I literally tried everything I could possibly think of to soothe her. Nothing worked. Finally, she hit 13 months old and started talking. And talking. And talking. And talking. And has not stopped talking since. She talks as much as she cried. I think she was just angry that she couldn’t talk yet. Glad Bruiser’s not such a crier now!
>So glad he’s not a jerk! π That would suck.What a sweet lil punkin. That car seat is worth its weight in gold, huh? Our bouncy seat got LOTS of use with our little guy in those early days. Hooray for 4 hours of sleep at a pop! Go Bruiser… WOOT!
>I’m glad the carseat has solved the issue for you. My first was a textbook easy baby, my second screamed for the first 4 months of her life…and the carseat pissed her off. Whenever I have thoughts of a third I have to remind myself of all of those hours of screaming we had to endure.We did learn all about the 5 S’s though (ala Happiest Baby on the Block), and found the absolutely fabulous Amazing Miracle Blanket to swaddle her in though.
>I have been lurking for a while now, but had to comment on this post … my son spent many a night in his carseat next to our bed! And sometimes at naptime he slept in his carseat on top of the dryer. I thought my son was the only one! :-)He is a cutie, congratulations!Jessica
>I have been lurking for a while now, but had to comment on this post … my son spent many a night in his carseat next to our bed! And sometimes at naptime he slept in his carseat on top of the dryer. I thought my son was the only one! :-)He is a cutie, congratulations!Jessica
>Good for you…it took us two flippin months to figure out the carseat thing. Two months of absolutely ZERO night time sleep.Car seats are sent from God above, they truly are.
>he’s a little pumpkin dot!
>Cute Baby!! I am a frequent lurker to your blog. I saw your blog about the eggplant parmesean and wanted to let you know that I passed it on to someone who was overdue and she made it and had her baby the next day!! Just thought I would let you knowAshleyHouston, TX
>”I’ve given birth to a jerk.”HAHAH! Amazing what kind of things we think when they make us lose our freakin minds, huh?Glad you can sleep now!
>He is so sweet. And I love your parenting stories. Hope you enjoy your well-deserved rest.
>Ha! My second slept for the first 2 mohths on the floor next to our bed in her….carseat.
>I am a sucker for a swaddled baby. He’s such a sweetie. π
>My son was 11 lbs 4 oz when he was born and cried all the time in the hospital and when we got home. Then my milk came in and it all stopped. Your right, Bruiser was just hungry. I mean he had a tap while he was in you and now it’s gone. They do say boys eat more. He looks so cute.
>This reminds me of that Sex in the City episode where Samantha uses her vibrator, oh excuse me her MASSAGER, in the bouncy chair to get Miranda’s baby to sleep. Glad you haven’t had to resort to that…. YET!!I’ll have to keep these tips in mind for when I have one of my own.
>I’m so happy for you and your family!! Nothings sweeter than a sleeping baby… and mama. I’ll have to remember the carseat trick in about 2 months when it’s my turn!
>WHY WHY WHY didn’t I ever think to do that???? I bet it would have helped. Makes total sense. I’ll take my bad mother award now…. My poor baby feeling so vulnerable and exposed in that bassinet. That evil bassinet!!! How could I not have thought of this??? Good for you smart moms who thought of the car seat option! I’ll be sure to tell my sister who is expecting :-)Congrats again on Bruiser!!!!!!
>Hannah must have slept in a car seat, or a bouncer or in the crook of my arm for five months. Then we could let her sleep on her stomach and she did great in the crib.Poor hungry boy. Glad he’s feeling better. Glad those bug bites of yours are finally kicking in.
>My son was born last week and unlike the rest of his sibs he does not cry and I mean that literally. He has yelled…or squaked as I call it a few times. He will sound like a bird and wait, and after several minutes he’ll do it again if no one has done what it is he wants. Isn’t it strange how one can be so different from the rest?
>Ha ha! Hubs said the next morning, “16 cried for the first six weeks straight. Now I’m wondering if we could’ve avoided that by putting her in the car seat at night…” He used to take her out to the car at 2 in the morning and drive around with her in her carseat until she’d finally fall asleep!
>I’m rethinking my decision to get a convertible carseat for this next baby instead of a bucket. . .
>My son would need to be rocked in his carseat but not as a newborn as a 3 or 4 month old. My daughter, his twin, never had a problem going and staying asleep. Boys!
>My best friend’s 1st daughter had horrible colic. The only way she’d sleep was with a ride in the car, but she’d scream if you sat her in the car seat. Many a night we’d play “pass the baby” until 3 am when the streets were all quiet. Then I’d hold the baby while we drove around the block 500 times.Her mother got so mad! She said, “What are you going to do if a cop pulls you over and gives you a ticket for not having her in the car seat.” My friend never missed a beat. She said, “I’m handing him the screaming baby and telling him I’ll see him after I’ve had a few hours of sleep!”So glad you found a cure for Bruiser’s fussing. Hope it’s smooth sailing from here on out.
>That’s really funny. I too stared at my newborn son in tears thinking he was a jerk. I remember, pacing the floor listening to my son scream and thinking that I had read some story about rats that were deprived sleep and went insane.
>What a cutie. New reader here. Congratulations on a healthy boy!
>Wow! You’re lucky the solution was so “easy.” It took us FOR E VER to get our wee man to stop with the anger. So glad to hear that things are going well for you!! Congrats!!
>He is just too sweet..he really did not mean to stress you out!
>Oh my god, your post was so funny that I read it aloud to my hubster. We were spitting diet rootbeer by the last lines… LOVE IT!!!Congrats from a faithful reader/lurker!
>This made me laugh! I remember the nurses bringing me our daughter after she’d been screaming at them for two hours (I, like you, had sent her away so I could get some sleep!). We thought, wow, she’s dramatic. And she still is. She had a horrible cry. She hated the car seat and as I’d be strapping her in after shopping, people would honestly be giving me those looks that said they weren’t sure if they should be calling the police. It was terrible.My first cried for the first three days we were home until we went to the lactation consultant. He wasn’t latching on and so he was hungry! He was fine after that. :)I’m so glad he’s better now. π
>I want to kiss the person that thought of the carseat.My boy was early and screamed all the time unless he was being held by me, sucking Dad’s little finger, or sitting in the carseat or swing. He lived in that car seat so much that he rubbed all the hair off in the back and part of the sides. He looked like an man with a reverse bald head. LOL! He was also hungry at first so we fed him from a medicine cup until we could get the breastfeeding thing down. He is such a cutie burrito!!!
>2 things read “Operating Instructions: A Journal Of My Sonβs First Year.” by Anne Lamonttalso my kid # 2 slept on top of the dryer for 3 month…happy timeserika
>Awww…Bruiser looks so content all squished up in his seat :)Those car seats…best damn invention evah!
>He is beautiful!My son was a hair under 10 pounds, ravenous and screamed unless he was held or in a sling/carrier.A good friend with 4 kids–3 girls and a boy–maintains that men are just born difficult. It sounds horrible, but IME it is true. Good luck!
>My 2nd slept in an infant carrier set inside the bassinet beside my bed so long that I was worried if she would ever sleep laying down. Six years later, I think she’s doing okay.
>my middle guy slept in his car seat, which i would set in the crib, just so I didn’t feel so guilty. but for the first 6 weeks or so, it was the only way he would sleep.
>He’s adorable!!!My daughter slept in her car seat or our bed for the first several months of her life. She would scream as soon as I put her down to sleep in a basinette or crib. Unlike Bruiser though, she didn’t stop crying when my milk came in. She was colicky and cried for about the first four months of her life (when she wasn’t sleeping or eating.) Ah, the memories!
>OMG! You had them take your son to the nusery at night?! OMG! (kidding! my kids spent a LOT of time in the hospital nusery while I slept.)Yes, some people don’t realize babies were all wrapped up tight inside your uterus, they like that feeling; wrap them up tight in a blanket and have something that surrounds their body to sleep in. Luckily someone told me that before I had my first.Bet he was HUNGRY, too!
>Like uumomma, I loved Operating Instructions but be prepared, while the parts about raising her son are redemptive and fabulously reassuring there is a very depressing undercurrent to the book. Can be a lot to handle if you struggle with any postpartum depression. Bruiser looks like a delicious little morsel. Enjoy when you’re not too exhausted to emote.
>We went so far as to put my son in his carseat IN HIS CRIB!!! It freaking worked and it made mommy a much happier person….heheI have twin girls and I had to do the same ting with them…they slept in their carseats ALOT…I think it’s because it “confines” them and they feel more secure. Heck I don’t know what it is, but it makes them sleep…LOL
>um, I’m pretty sure that Buppy *is* a jerk–at least right now. But he was a great baby. Except he HATED to be swaddled. He would cry like hell and kick and flail until he was free. Every time.
>Oh man look at that sweet little squished up face! He looks positively blissful in that seat. Good idea!~Monica
>I loved this post. My daughter was the same way except I let her sleep in her swing. When she konked out everyone was like “Down touch her!”
>So we finally have a baby do we???Sorry, I’ve been gone a bit!!Isn’t sweet when you find what works?? You’re lucky you figured it out quickly, not everybody is that lucky!!congrats on your new beautiful healthy baby boy!!!!
>Been there, done that! Congratulations, he is adorable!!!!!
>After perfecting the “rock-n-sway” with our 2nd baby for more months than I care to remember, I know all too well how wonderful it is to find something (other than your arms or breasts) than comforts them and makes them sleep!Eureka, indeed. Carrie
>did that with wee one. also, I suggest Dr. Brown’s bottles. expensive, but WELL WORTH IT!!
>Im coming out of the woodwork to tell you about a GREAT contraption for your car seat π Babies R Us (and probably other stores) sell a swing frame that will fit any Graco car seat. Basically its just the frame of any regular swing, and the car seat just snaps into it. It swings, vibrates and plays little baby music, so if Bruiser falls asleep in the car, you dont have to wake him up! Just take him out in the car seat and pop the car seat into the swing π We bought one for our little one and he’s not even here yet! Good luck!! -Ashlee-
>PERFECTION! Sweetness. Exploding ovaries.The End.
>This is the sweetest post. [Been there, done that, wish I’d known the carseat trick.] Glad things are looking up at your house!!
>he is a dollbaby!!!! congratulations!!!!!both of my kids slept in their carseats for, like, forever. still do.KIDDING.but seriously, we had the carseat that hooked into the stroller (quit laughing, I know you know what I am talking about), and I would just roll them around the house. it was the only way to keep the screaming to a minimum. Mine, that is.he is gorgeous!!
>My baby was 10 1/2 pounds-I was lucky to get a seasoned nurse in the hospital who agreed with me that I just didn’t have enough to satisfy her yet-so we fed her soya formula out of a wee medicine cup-she drank two bottles before she settled and slept. Too bad these seasoned OB nurses aren’t around anymore?He’s adorable-congratulations on your beautiful healthy baby!One more note on the eggplant thing-it’s a nightshade veggie-know to contribute to inflammation (as are: tomatoes, peppers, etc.) maybe that’s what kick-starts the labour?
>Four words: Amazing. Miracle. Swaddling. Blanket.