“I’m still coming to see you Thursday, but I have a Zoom appointment at noon that I can’t reschedule,” I told my mom on the phone recently, “So I’m just going to leave in the morning, pull over somewhere, and do the appointment in my car. Then I’ll finish the drive once it’s over.” I […]

Family, Fun, Humor

March 17, 2021

Forever Young

It was 3 am and I was very much asleep when it happened. “Hey-low,” a woman said in a singsong-soft voice, her lips just inches from my ear. She said it quietly, the way my grandmother might once have gently woken me on a summer morning… but this voice definitely wasn’t my grandmother. “What?” I […]

Fun, Humor

March 2, 2021

Help. My Bed is Haunted.

Ghost on a Bed

You might assume that because of Pandemic Times, I no longer have any interesting adventures to report — and you would be right, barring That Time I Took a Walk and Saw a Really Big Turtle in the Pond. (Expect my memoir with that title from Doubleday in Spring 2022.) However, a couple of nights […]

Fun, Humor

January 26, 2021

I Took a Picture with a Polar Bear. Learn From My Mistake.

My Facebook feed is overflowing right now with adorably filtered pictures of your kids’ first days of school-at-home. You’re all so sweetly optimistic; it truly warms my heart. You’ve repurposed your breakfast nook into a cozy learning haven! You’ve decorated your walls with maps and alphabet letters! You’ve replaced the stacks of magazines, old mail, […]

Fun, Humor

August 17, 2020

This is the Hard Truth About Homeschooling

Dear Parents, As you may have heard, our school board unanimously decided during last night’s Zoom meeting to hold in-person classes at all of our district’s schools, starting August 10th. Although some parents have expressed concern about sending their children back to school in the midst of an out-of-control pandemic, we have come to the […]

Deep Thoughts, Fun, Humor

August 4, 2020

The Back-to-School Memo That Should Have Been Sent to Parents This Year

Students Going Back to School

You probably have a lot of thoughts and feelings right now about coronavirus. So do I, my friend. Honestly, I feel like I have no words for what’s going on — but that’s what GIFs are for, right? So here’s a look at my life right now — IN GIFS…   Me, watching the news. […]

Deep Thoughts, Fun, Humor

March 13, 2020

How I’m Feeling About Coronavirus Right Now. A Story in GIFs.

Sheldon Meme

In the wake of the controversy surrounding Jennifer Lopez’s scandalous Super Bowl performance, I’ve seen many comments and concerns over what is and what isn’t appropriate for families to watch. This handy guide should help clear up your confusion! OKAY: Olympic pairs ice skating.   NOT OKAY: Jennifer Lopez’s Super Bowl performance.   OKAY: The […]

Fun, Humor

February 5, 2020

This Family Viewing Guide Solves the ‘Jennifer Lopez Problem’

Jennifer Lopez Halftime Show

Each afternoon when I pick up my 12-year-old son from school, we perform a time-honored ritual that’s shared by millions of moms and sons every single day. (begin scene) “How was school?” I ask him. “Fine,” he answers. “What happened today?” I ask him. “Nothing,” he answers. (end scene) Of course, I usually press him […]

Family, Fun, Humor

January 30, 2020

The Candyman

The Candyman's in Town

There are many things I’m sure I’ll miss when my children are grown. I’ll miss their laughter and noise and chatter. Their companionship, their hugs and hand squeezes. There are also a few things I won’t miss — I won’t miss driving the kids to school and doctor’s appointments and practices, and friends’ houses. Or […]

Family, Fun, Humor

January 23, 2020

Panic at the Trampoline Park

Indoor Trampoline Parks Look Like This inside

To know me is to know I have turkey troubles. The story of our Gas Station Turkey several years ago spread far and wide after I shared it on Facebook, and the end result of that snafu (along with dinner that year not taking place until nine-freaking-thirty PM) is that we never outsourced our Thanksgiving […]

Food, Fun, Holidays, Humor

December 3, 2019

And Now for Something Completely Different…

Upside Down Turkey Recipe