>Guest Post: Motherhood Uncensored
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There’s nothing like 4 hours in the ER on a Friday night and your 20 month old’s broken tibia to make you throw every single parenting rule right out the window. Who cares that you spent precious time and money on creating a consistent, yet warm environment of safety and love for your toddler? All it takes is a large shot of mommy guilt and you have no qualms about burning your collection of baby help books and shoving all the educational toys right down the toilet.
I’m not sure if it’s the constant whining and crying of your toddler or your inner guilt that’s worse. But regardless of who or what is screaming louder, if my child is teething, sick, or in this case, hurt, it takes me about all of 4 minutes to regress back to the awful parent no one wants to believe they could ever possibly be.
Do you want to eat 12 popsicles and watch a constantly looped DVD of the Muppets? Feel free. Just. please. stop. crying.
My stash of plastic bags? Bottle of pennies and buttons? My sewing box? Have at it.
But I beg you. No. more. whining.
Do you feel like tossing around Daddy’s Cartier watch? Or mommy’s diamond cross necklace? No problem. Just consider not saying “stuck” or “out” when referring to your cast for the next 5 minutes.
Even better is the complicated dance we do to get them to go to sleep and stay that way. The 18 months I spent getting my daughter to nap and sleep in her crib, without me having to nurse, rock, sing, or jiggle her, go completely to the wayside if she is not feeling well. The prospect of lost sleep wreaks havoc in the finely tuned system of our sleep regimen.
Would you like me to read that story for the 5th time? Oh, you want both mommy and daddy to rock and sing you to sleep? Sure. Let me just position this sucker hat on my head and I’ll be ready to go.
What did you say dear? You want to sleep in mommy’s bed with daddy’s one butt cheek hanging off the bed and the other one holding on for dear life? Sure honey. Hop in.
Want some milk, water, juice, or coke? Wait, did you say a double layered chocolate cake? Hold on. Let me whip something up for you.
Thankfully, these lapses in our parental judgment don’t last long. Our kids feel better, the teeth come in, and the cast (I hope) comes off. Life returns to normal, and to our surprise, so does our routine. Maybe it’s because the powers that be know that desperate times call for desperate measures – or perhaps it’s that we needed a chance to release our pent up mommy guilt so not to create buildup. Lord knows what years of mommy guilt buildup can make us. May I introduce you to my, um, mother-in-law?
>Oh my God, that made me laugh so hard. Yes, it’s amazing what flies right straight out the window in the name of desperation. We had the midnight bedwet and the inconsolable pre-bed scream followed by the 2:00 a.m. what-am-I-doing-back-in-my-bed shriek-howl. We were carting around toddlers like figures on a cuckoo clock. And we didn’t miss a beat.Greater love hath no…something.
>Just when I think I am starting to come to terms with Motherly Guilt, something new bites me in the ass!
>You are right, desperate times call for desperate measures. I hope Q is feeling better soon.
>ohhh, poor sweetie..yes, we give them everything when they are feeling bad..I took my daughter to Chuck E. Cheese after she tripped over MY shoes in the hallway! 1 Bruised Chin=$25.00 at Chuckies.
>Great read Kristen, as always! I’m trying to imagine my husband holding on to the bed with his buttcheeks! ROFL! What an image!
>I compleely understand. My kids only have an ear infection and they are back to drinking out of bottles all day long.So sorry about her leg!
>You are SO kind, future MIL.
>These are not lapses in parental judgment…these ARE parental judgments! I mean lord, if you can’t give your kid chocolate cake while watching a Noggin marathon when she’s laid up with a cast, when can you? Meanwhile, if our baby just cries for like thirty seconds Nate is all, “oh sweetie, do you want a pony?” Sounds like you’re doing just fine.
>Mom101 hit it on the head. There’s a time for indulgence and a time for sticking to the rules, and being laid up with a cast is definitely worth being indulged. 🙂
>I say when they need it, spoil them for all they’re worth…I have camped out in many ERs with sick/hurt kids over my years as a mom, and I swear the mommy guilt aftermath is always more expensive than the hospital bill, even if you DID spring for that $24 shot of baby Tylonal.