I'm Lindsay Ferrier, a Nashville writer with a passion for family travel, exploring Tennessee, and raising kids without losing my mind in the process. This is where I share my discoveries, along with occasional deep thoughts, pop culture tangents and a sprinkling of snark. Want to get in touch? Use the CONTACT form at the top of the page.
October 4, 2010
>Back when Punky was three, I posted a picture of her on my blog, sitting in her highchair and eating cereal. I posted it because she was wearing a tiara and a fussy little dress that had been mine when I was small, and she looked for all the world like an imperious little queen as she demanded more milk for her bowl.
Someone left a comment on that post that said something like, “Seriously? You’re STILL putting her in a highchair?”
And suddenly, I felt sort of ashamed at myself and my mothering skills. It hadn’t even occurred to me that there was anything wrong with putting her in the highchair. It was big and comfortable and while she ordinarily sat at the table by that time, the highchair was perfect for the times when she was eating messy foods and I didn’t want to deal with major clean-up. I still put her in it after that, but I sure as hell didn’t post any pictures of her in it on the Internet.
Bruiser had the same upbringing- At three, I’ve put him in the same big, comfy highchair on the same fairly infrequent occasions that he’s been eating something messy and I didn’t want to spend 30 minutes mopping up the floor after he was done. I saw the highchair as something that made my life easier. My husband, though, saw it as A Problem.
“I think he’s been babied too much,” he announced a few weeks ago. “I mean, he still uses a highchair.”
I told him my reasoning for the highchair at the time, but I still found myself banishing the highchair to the garage (and subsequently spending a LOT more time cleaning up the kitchen) soon afterward.
But still, I’m confused. What’s wrong with occasional use of a highchair for a mom’s convenience, if the kid still fits in it comfortably and doesn’t mind it?
And then there are the strollers…
I just read Amalah’s post on The Stir about moms who still use strollers for their preschool-aged children with autism, in order to make sure those kids stay safe. She mentioned two different incidents when people criticized them for letting their “big kids” ride in a stroller.
I cringed again.
We don’t use our strollers much these days, but I always bring one along when we go to the zoo or any other place that involves big crowds and/or lots of walking, and generally, both my three-year-old and six-year-old end up arguing over who gets to sit in it. In fact, last weekend at an arts festival, we brought two strollers with us, and the kids stayed in them most of the time.
I didn’t think twice about bringing the strollers. Had we gone stroller-free, we would have had a harder time keeping up with our kids and we would have covered much less ground. The same is true at the zoo- If I bring the stroller, the kids generally take turns sitting in it and we’re able to see a lot more of the zoo than we would if I didn’t bring the stroller along.
But now I wonder- Are people silently judging me when they see my six-year-old daughter happily riding in a stroller at a public event? And if so, why? Why on earth would they care? I’m pretty sure there have been times when all of us would have loved to ride in a stroller, if they only made one for adults!
Dare I even bring up sippy cups at this point?
Both my kids drink from regular cups- But when we go on the road or they want to take a drink out of the kitchen, I put their milk or juice in one of the sippy cups we still have around from their toddlerhood.
Am I being judged for that, too? We adults have lids on our to-go cups- Why shouldn’t our kids?
Why are we so quick to demand that our children give up those last vestiges of early childhood before they’re (or we’re) ready? I understand it could be a problem if a child never sat at the table, could only drink from a sippy cup, or refused to go anywhere without a stroller- but if that’s not the case, then what’s the harm?
Feel free to judge away on this one. What am I missing here? How am I hurting my kids by using any of these “baby” items on occasion? Or are the judgers out there simply people with too much time on their hands rushing to conclusions?
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