How to Meet a Blogstar
“Well, tomorrow, I think I’m finally going to meet Busy Mom,” I told Hubs last night.
“Busy Mom,” he said dubiously. “Y’all are going to meet?”
“On the soccer fields. Remember?” I said. “Her kids play league soccer too and we said we’d try to find each other on the first Saturday of the spring season.”
This morning I arrived late to the game as usual (Hey. You try to get yourself ready, get a toddler out of bed, get her dressed, make her breakfast, bundle her up, find the stroller, load everything in the car and get to the soccer field by 8am), and immediately began looking around. The fields were filled with moms, thousands of moms, all wearing fleece jackets and sunglasses. Shit. How would I ever find her? I looked for a woman with a big smile and a tray of drinks. No luck.
Dejectedly, I pushed the baby stroller over to the field where my stepdaughter’s game had just gotten underway. Probably, Busy Mom had seen me, laughed derisively and turned her back. “She calls herself a blogger?!” I could hear her snorting to a nearby 14-year-old ref. “Pah!”
As I headed for the car an hour later, I was morose. Despondent. I had worn my favorite jacket, dammit. I had put on lipstick. I had brought my autograph book. But Busy Mom was nowhere to be found.
Then suddenly, I heard a snappy voice.
“The sky is blue.”
A few feet away, an adorable mom in a, duh, jacket and sunglasses had a big smile on her face.
It was Busy Mom!
“The sky is blue!” I yelped and gave her a hug. Yeah. We had a code. Because that’s what bloggers do. They create a code so that they’ll be able to find each other on a field full of soccer moms.
I got to meet Busy Boy and Busy Girl and even the Toddler-Formerly-Known-As-Busy-Baby, who was very busy bouncing a soccer ball off his head the entire time we talked.
There were so many things I wanted to ask her, and so many things I wanted to say. But I felt a little like I was Chris Farley to her Paul McCartney.
ME: “Y’remember how you spent New Year’s Eve watching Clean Sweep at home alone and I spent it listening to my husband snore upstairs and we found out later and said we should have gotten together or called each other or something?”
BUSY MOM: “Yeah. I remember that.”
ME: “That was awesome!”
BUSY MOM: “Uh huh.”
ME: “Yeah. Yeah. Hey, y’remember that time when you were at Panerra blogging and I got home and realized I had walked past the Panerra window at the same time you were there?”
BUSY MOM: “Yeah, I remember that too. That wasn’t that long ago.”
ME: “Yeah. That was awesome.”
BUSY MOM: “Yep.”
ME: “You, y’remember that time the daycare woman asked if you were your son’s grandmother?”
BUSY MOM: “Um…. yes. Yes, I do.”
ME: “Yeah. That wasn’t awesome. That sucked.”
(LUCINDA HITS HER OWN DUMB HEAD OVER AND OVER)
ME: “So stupid! Why are you so stupid!”
Wisely, I kept my inane comments to a minimum. Busy Mom was, as expected, lovely and gracious, Busy Boy and Busy Girl were adorably charming and it wasn’t long before I began planning the wedding of Baby and the Toddler Formerly Known as Busy Baby, because let me tell you, he is gonna be a stud. I mean, you don’t bounce a soccer ball off your head with that kind of passion and not end up either a professional sports star, a politician or a televangelist.
I’m going to have to prepare some witticisms for the next time Busy Mom and I meet. Hopefully, she won’t mind that I’m reading my lines to her from a dirty index card. In the meantime, I’m going to try to stop hyperventilating now over my meeting with a real, live blogstar.
>LMAO. My husband would ask the same thing.But how cool, you met another blogger. Er, blogSTAR.
>Very cool. The fact that you found each other at all is impressive. I didn’t know about the code thing — this is good to know! In case I’m ever so lucky to meet a blogstar…
>maybe hubby was HOPING she was a lesbian, if you know what I mean. guys always want to get in on that kind of action… 😉
>That reminds me of the time last May, when Weary Hag and I were in NYC on the same weekend, and through our blogs, we discovered that we had both been watching a mime/contortionist in a park in NYC at the same time,same day – and we both had on red jackets, but we didn’t know each other was there.
>It was the shoes, wasn’t it? He thought I was a lesbian because of the shoes, didn’t he? I forgot to tell him I wear sensible shoes because of foot problems. *packs away sensible shoes*(Please note that it is 5:15 and I just this moment got home).
>Hilarious. I love those Farley skits.
>That’s so cool! I get the chance to meet other Americans sometimes and we have to have a whole ritual worked out to where you’ll be sitting and what you’ll be wearing. Code seems so much easier, and more fun.And I see the Baby is hooked on Boobah. The Tween calls them The Incredible Rainbow Farting People. Thank goodness the Toddler was never intersted. My sympathy.
>7:30am to 5:15pm, Busy Mom? You need to work the snack counter- then you’ll at least make some money off it! I think he abandoned the lesbian notion once he saw your children! He seemed very relieved later. ;)You commenters are the best! I’ll bet no one else’s comments have both “mime/contortionist” and “rainbow farting people” in the same batch!
>Remember when you blogged about shaving your you-know-what? That was really funny. (V hits herself in the head. So stupid! Lucinda just did that on her blog. Stupid, stupid, stupid!)You are hilarious!
>Very smooth code. I like that. And, I suppose we can’t all be as cool as our blogs – that’s why we have them, right?Although I’m quite certain that’s not the case for you! If you’re ever in Mississippi, lemme know (I’m no blogstar… let’s just call me a character actor in a really good movie)…
>hmmm. If i say “The Sky Is Blue” and click my heels a few times will you appear at my door?
>I loved the Chris Farley reference, too. Hysterical….
>Wow. That’s so cool. I think if I met any of my favorite blogstars (you included) I would soil myself.See, I just used the term ‘soil myself’. That is sooo uncool.
>So do you think I could be so lucky as to meet BOTH of you when I pass thru?? I’ll have all the kids and the dogs and the husband and all of our crap packed in the van, though. I will definitely be the uncoolest of all. I promise.yeah, that’ll seal the deal ::smacking head::
>I’m comforted that other mommies in other cities are also waking at an early hour to drag children to the soccer field! Code is good…and, I miss Chris Farley! around our house, we spout lines from Tommy Boy on a regular basis.
>What a classic reference! I use those Farley “Y’remeber” lines ALL the time – but most of the people I hang around with don’t get it, so they just think I’m a dork. I’m so happy there’s other people out there who understand!
>Ive only met one blogger and that’s because I knew her in real life anyway. Apart from that I don’t think I could, I would have no idea what to say to them.
>is she a lesbian!! haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that is so like something my spouse would say. hahahahah.. “can I watch??” ughhh.
>Yet, he didn’t say it excitedly. He said it like he was extremely worried about me. The implication was that I was being lured by a sexual predator on the web and I was too dumb to realize it. Which made it even funnier. I have told him Busy Mom stories for AGES. She even gave me the name of her kids’ hairdresser for my stepdaughters. I wasn’t afraid that she was going to show up on a Harley with a buzz cut and 100 tattoos! (And that would be HIS Alpha Male version of a lesbian, by the way. Not mine. Just so we’re clear).
>i loved reading both her version and yours. y’all are just too cute. word verification:bhxxdunuholy crap!
>LOL!! That’s so neat!LadyBug
>This is way funny, Lucinda. Perfect!
>It’s a Blogstarpalooza (not to be confused with Lesboblogstarpalooza)! OK now I’ve read both versions of “THE MEETING” on the soccer field. Love it.
>Excellent stuff 🙂
>I love the fact that you guys had a CODE! How cool is that?!
>You are my hero. You met Busy Mom AND made it into a Chris Farley skit?Damn girl.You know I love the Farley. Why else would my weiner’s code name be Farlito?And DAMN, you met Busy Mom. That was AHHHHSUMMMM!
>Delurking to say I totally love the Farley reference, “that was awesome!”
>See…I gotta leave the state before I’ll be able to meet any cool bloggers like that.
>Busy Mom’s not a lesbian? Don’t shatter my hopes and dreams that way.
>Oh wow! How lucky you are and how lucky she is to have met you!I’m jealous.
>You are hilarious, and you’ve inspired me to meet my own blog friend.
>This post is absolutely brilliant. Loved that you guys had a code. And also, I had no idea that women quoted Chris Farley. Hilarious!