If Your Kids Were pottery barn kids…

  1. Meg McCormick says:

    YOU ARE HILARIOUS! I love this. LOVE it.

  2. Kimberly says:


  3. Camilla Kostic says:

    There were two things about the Pottery Barn catalog I always wanted to know: Didn’t those kids get super hot under all those layers of sheets, duvets, blankets and throws? And also, was I doing something terribly wrong because none of my kids’ rooms, or frankly any room in my house, ever look as clean and crisp or organised as their rooms! And, I’m actually pretty neat!!!

    • waterflowers says:

      None of their rooms were ever lived in. EVER

      • Stewie says:

        actually they shoot a lot of the catalog photos at the homes of different executives, vp’s, and such…they just make sure to have the “best of the best” come in to make everything look super sterile…er, i mean perfect

        • HarveyMILF says:

          Not exactly. We’ve had several PBK shoots at our house and don’t have any connection with the company. They pay us a daily fee and basically take over for 2-3 days. They take photos of the rooms with all our ordinary crap in them, take all our stuff out, paint/stencil and decorate the rooms in the furniture, etc that they are shooting, take their photos and then put everything back exactly they way they found it. The money is nice and it’s cool to see our house in the catalog.

          • CN says:

            What’s the daily fee. They have asked to do ours but we have no idea what to charge

          • Xanadon't says:

            $1500 a day. But I’ve since learned that we could be getting more. $1500 is as low as they start at.

            Commercials pay around $6k a day.

    • Katie says:

      The kids don’t get hot, because after spending all that money at PBK the parents can’t afford to heat the house.

  4. Nashvillegirl says:


  5. Amber says:

    Haha, I like their items but if I bought any, we wouldn’t be able to eat for like a month. And also, my kids are messy and would destroy these nice things in a matter of hours. My daughter recently carved her name into her (real wood) dresser that has been passed down from family member to family member for about 50 years. Nice things do not last in our home. They just do not.

  6. Amanda Henry says:

    Epic blog except not all of the pictures open 🙁

    • suburbanturmoil says:

      My server is straining with all the people viewing this post right now- Try loading a time or two and everything should work. 🙂

  7. Jen says:

    I love the basket of baseballs. You know, so the kids can practice pitching in the house. They can aim at the ceramic tiger.

  8. Kathy says:

    These are hilarious! Have you ever gotten any feedback from Restoration Hardware or Pottery Barn on these blog posts? I’d love to hear what they think! Even if they won’t admit it, I’d bet they secretly think they’re hysterically funny.

  9. Allie Smith says:

    I love it! Ridiculously funny.

  10. Ema says:


  11. Chocoholic says:

    Even if I wanted to live the PBKids lifestyle, abandoned snack packets, cookie crumbs and Xbox controllers strewn around the room would ruin the look. And that’s just after I’ve been on the Xbox. (I love your sarcastic humor, Lindsay!)

  12. lena cook says:

    This was funny…… Now we are not rich (hubby works at the homeless shelter) however we have several pottery barn pieces that were either passed down to us or I found them for cheap on craigslist . All 4 of my kids have pottery barn chairs (thanks to grandparents and one passes down from cousins ) so they do make those pyramids ……and they are great , kids use them all the time . Also our school room (just one computer on the desk…….however when we homeschooled 2 laptops would ve been so handy ) and kids rooms look close to the pictures . Even though i do not have labeled bins , EVERYTHING goes in it’s place and our older kids ages B 9, B 7 and G 3 ….know it . When it’s time to clean up after the play whey put it where it belongs . The key to the ‘Crisp” room is to not have too much stuff …….our kids have tons of toys (again thanks to thrift stores or yard sales), but I try to “weed out” pretty often and donate the toys that they outgrow. All the wall decorations you see on the walls can be easily made from stuff found at Michael’s or AC Moore or ebay 🙂

  13. Angel says:

    Hilarious! I just snorted! I worked for p.b. for seven years and their stuff is great; I would help people lay out their entire homes, down to the soap dishes. I would try to explain that real kids wouldn’t keep their rooms ‘catalogue shoot’ ready, but they would try anyway. All fun – like Vogue – we go there for visual perfection – not reality 🙂 Still laughing!

  14. Stewie says:

    perfect…having been a manager at pbk previously…this hits the nail on the head…those entitled young parents are the absolute worst, i can only imagine what their kids will be like when they grow up!

  15. Stephanie says:

    You just made my day! Thank you for making me feel better about not being able to afford anything out of that stupidly beautiful catalog.

  16. HHHalldin says:

    OK. I admit it. I not only got pb linens for my kids when they were babies for their nurseries – I also corralled my folks into getting the furniture to go with it! And the rugs. (hangs head in shame) Of course my kids almost never slept in said cribs. Which made selling the stuff on ebay easier. But damn, they’re rooms looked cute. And given their ultra-traditional nordic names, well, I had to make sure everyone knew how to spell them. I just wish I’d gotten the phonetic version. So they’d know how to pronounce them, too. Thanks for the laughs regardless.

  17. BK says:

    As the former product development director of Pottery Barn Kids- Just want to say I love this so funny! I can’t speak for everyone- but it’s refreshing to see your healthy perspective on the “fantasy” rooms we created. The idea was to inspire– but so many folks like what they see literally and want it just so! It was always a challenge to come up with new ways to show a room and I’m so glad you were able to have fun with it! Keep us laughing! Thanks.

  18. Trina @afewmineradjustments says:

    Brilliant and so funny!

  19. KimSue says:

    The suspended beds in the last photo might be cool. Swinging whenever one turns over and real easy to clean under; but how do the kids get to the top bed?

  20. sara says:

    This is so funny,,,,So witty and totally enjoyable to read. Thanks for the fun.

  21. Kimberly says:

    You need to do a post on raising kids in a minimalistic one room home:


  22. Lena says:

    This is great !!! My husband cracks jokes all the time;)

  23. Cyndi says:

    Hysterical! And pure genius. I am sad to say neither Pottery Barn post has kept me from wanting to live in a Pottery Barn house–not as sad as my husband–but it has helped me come to terms with my grief.

  24. Jessica Hehir says:

    Love it! I’m with Kathy, I’d love to hear what they have to say. I’m sharing. Thanks for the laugh!

  25. Samantha Smith says:

    This is hysterical! As someone with the “perfect PB home” I love your satirical take on it! ‘The rope cutting incident’ had me in tears! Lol 🙂

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