>It Really Sucks!
>I remember a time when a hot date night meant dinner and drinks at a swank see-and-be-seen restaurant. I’d pair a sexy dress with stiletto heels, add a little extra mascara and head out ready to wow the world (or at least, my husband) with my drop dead come-hitherness.
Now, I fear the excitement of those days is lost and gone to me forever. Because my husband suggested a date night plan that had nothing to do with martinis or celebrity sightings and readers, I got worked into a frenzy of anticipation like nothing you’ve ever seen.
“Tomorrow night,” he said, “We’re getting a Dyson.”
A Dyson! A Dyson! We’re getting a Dyson! I have dreamed of this day every time I’ve lugged our crappy Dirt Devil (Appropriately named, since it is pure evil and picks up no dirt at all- yet also has the miraculous ability to suck up a dropped earring or barrette from five feet away) around the house and tried to “clean” with it.
Ever since he made the date night proclamation, I’ve been consumed with fantasies of vacuuming. (Hairballs? Ha! Fall leaves? Bring ’em on!) Consumed even with what I’m going to wear for our big Dyson-buying date night. I kid you not. I want to dress up for the occasion, but the harsh fluorescent lights mean I shouldn’t show too much skin. I’ll probably opt for something kicky and domestic. Hell, I might even take my Dyson (My pink Dyson! Exclusively at Target!) out of the box and give it a test run right there in the store. Can you blame me?
The object of my affection.
*He looks how I feel.
>Oh, yes. I remember those giddy days with my new Dyson. I was amazed at how full the dust bin was after the first use. Now I sort of wish I had a vacuum cleaner with a bag because…I now know that we are just pigs! I can’t escape how disgusting my family is when the grossness from the dust bin is just sitting there staring at me after every single use.
>BTW, pink. ooh la la!
>Personally I want the purple one. Enjoy!
>I admit – I would be excited too if our date night included buying a Dyson. That is my dream vacuum – just tell me what mile marker in life I crossed to now get excited and giddy about new colorful vacuums??? Congrats! Can’t wait to hear how great the new vacuum is!
>Oh, man, I’m so jealous. We have one 4×6 rug in our house, the rest hardwood, yet I could still justify buying one of those suckers.
>A pink vacuum? I want!!! Too bad we don’t have a Target in Alaska. There’s a rumor that we are getting one soon, but I’ve been hearing that for 5 years. Happy cleaning!
>Never mind dirt and fluff, suck up ants and watch them wander around inside the bin, all dazed and confused. Yeah!
>Is it as awesome as I want it to be? I want one badly, but I’m scared it will be a $500+ disappointment.
>I think blue or green maybe. That’d be awesome. Of course I’d have to see a kidney…
>i am sooooo jealous. i LOVE that vac! and its pink to boot!
>You will have to give your consumer report on that one. We also have some behemoth of a vacuum … it does nothing but emit noxious fumes and dust into the air. I hate it.I am quite jealous of your date night.
>GREEN WITH ENVY OVER HERE! *sniff* That is number one on my wishlist.
>It’s pretty and it’s pink. And it sucks, but in a good (and non-slutty) way… I’m so jealous!
>Hi Lindsay,My wife and I have owned a Dyson DC-14 “Animal” for a couple of years now, and we’ve been very, very happy with it.Prior to owning the Dyson, we had run the gamut with those much-vaunted Hoover Wind Tunnels that Consumer Reports trumpets to high heaven. I think they are pieces of junk, but I won’t bore you with those details here.Anyway, if you are purchasing the Dyson at Sears (I think you mentioned in your blog that you live in Bellevue; Sue and I do as well), you’d be well-advised to purchase the extended warranty deal where you can bring in the unit once per year for an overhaul. They will keep it for a week and return the vacuum to you ‘as good as new.’One thing I really like about the Dyson is its open architecture. Like the Internet, the Dyson is essentially a series of tubes inasmuch as the device is essentially impossible to clog. It is also very quiet, except for when you run it over certain types of area rug, in which case it makes a god-awful screeching noise!! Beware of this.You run a nice blog; I enjoy reading it.Kind regards,Tim
>i fucking love my fucking dyson.
>it’s totally orgasmic
>Didn’t hear great things about the Dyson, but I have similar fantasies about date nights. Buying new stuff is better than dinner. It lasts longer.And as I age, staying power is important…
>We went the other way — ditched the rugs and put in all hard floors. But in the old days a Dyson would have ruled.AndrewTo Love, Honor and Dismay
>That’s awesome. There is only hardwood here and a little lino so actually buying a Dyson would not be justified, but I may fondle a pink one at Target while I’m in the States on the weekend.
>Oh hubster, you shouldn’t have!! And you mean he didn’t wait until Mother’s day or your b-day to get that for you?! I’m so jealous!! And pink too!! So purdy!!
>I hate you.I really, really hate you.I want a Dyson more than sex right now.
>My Dyson is like a sick obsession. I love looking at all the dirt I suck up. I ‘heart’ that pink Dyson..I’ll trade ya! Hey, now if your stepdaughter ever brings home that furry rodent…
>i hate you. i wanted one first. i think you read my blog and just get what i want. *cries*did i mention i hate you? lol
>My Dyson & I (purple Animal) are eloping next month. Shhhh, don’t tell my husband.
>We don’t have enough carpet to warrant a Dyson, but my husband has eyed them at Target. I read him your post and he agrees that pink was an excellent marketing move!
>I am married to my Dyson. I am naming my next child (er… no… no more…) DOG after Dyson. You will be disgusted with what you see coming out of your carpet and you will kiss your baby and apologize profusely for that which she has been crawling on.I LOVE MY DYSON! Have fun on your sexy date night! :^DNan (new here)
>Totally funny!My wife was extremely giddy when we went to get our Dyson. I was hoping she would vacuum naked or something for that much money.
>I have a Dyson, but the smaller European version. I love it!
>Love my purple dyson! It rocks. I too was so excited when I got mine. I had coveted my neighbors for far too long. My husband is still amazed by that thing.
>I wonder who’s going to be on the receiving end of the blow job after this purchase?Darn, I’m naughty, aren’t I?
>Party on, girl! I’ll bring my Kirby and we can dance!!LMAO at the last comment!!!
>I am so jealous. I’ve wanted a Dyson ever since hearing the inventor’s accent. *swoon* But then I heard about how much it sucks and I wanted it even more. And I almost had one. ALMOST. Hubs was prepared to buy it right then, but we just didn’t have the scratch right then for it, so I had to tell him some other time. (Being a responsible adult SUCKS, and not in a good, Dyson kind of way!) But, I just bought the hubs a really expensive stainless steel BBQ grill (because I’m stupid like that and he’s perfected his wistful gaze when he really wants something. Plus, he promised me the grill could wash my car too, and I couldn’t resist him.) so the next big purchase is mine, all mine. And I’ll be cackling evilly all the way to The Home Depot to get my Dyson Animal.
>I LOOOOOOVE my Dyson. Although I was sad when I saw the pink one, I want a pink one! The purple animal DC14 will have eto do for now.
>Oooh, I am jealous!! Enjoy it!
>Oh,how I love my Dyson. I use all the time. Ilove to vacum because of that purple beauty. It’s the best $500 dollars I have spent.have fun!!!!!
>give ’em hell girl!!
>so very jealous!and pink to boot – love it!
>She is a sexy little bitch.
>I want a dyson. But I hate vacuuming. Does it work good? Honestly, I have a rep for breaking vaccuums, I need the industrial vaccuum for idiots.
>I’ve done my homework. There is nothing like a Dyson. The story behind its invention is particularly good too. Basically, the inventor tried to get his idea marketed and nobody would do it, so he did it himself, and now everyone is jealous! I would love a Dyson for that reason if no other. But I have used one, and it is incredible. It acted like a vacuum should. My carpets were not just clean, they were purified.If my husband took me out to get a Dyson, I would squeel and jump up and down. I would probably dress up too. 🙂
>I got a Dyson about seven months ago. It’s my new religion.
>Don’t you love how they lower our expectations so we’re excited when they so much as shave and wash their hair? Date night at Target… Feh.
>There’s only one word for that vision in pink…..dayum!I love that kid.