>Liveblogging My Broken Foot or The Worst Blog Post of All Time
>If you haven’t already read the news, I broke my foot. Now I’m laid up on the sofa, with my 16-year-old acting as Nanny-for-the-Day. It’s 10:02 and already, I’m bored out of my mind. Because I don’t do sitting. Ever. So in an effort to cripple (get it? Cripple?!) the readership of this blog, I decided to share this freaking dull day with you. Live. Here goes.
10:05am
Shows watched so far:
Blind Date
An E! Ashley and Mary Kate Olsen biography
the new Gwen Stefani video (WTF.)
Regis and Kelly
The View
TV sucks.
Hubs dragged a cane and crutches in from the garage last night, all left over from when he broke his ankle in 2002. Baby has stolen the cane, named it Peppy, and has been riding it around the house ever since. Peppy even had to sleep on the floor beside her crib last night.
I’m reading Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides, by the way.
I saw a video this morning on VH-1 that I’d swear had Jeffrey from Project Runway in it. Ew.
I don’t personally know anyone named Jeffrey. Do I?
Oh for some Vicodin.
12:07pm
I have an appointment soon with the orthopaedist. I am really nervous that my foot will need to be reset. I am really nervous that the orthopaedist will try to touch my foot and I will accidentally kick the shit out of him.
Don’t tell Hubs this, but I just vacuumed the downstairs. Seriously, I couldn’t take it anymore. I can’t let all that FlyLady work go to waste.
TV still sucks. Where is Designing Women when you need it?
I watched that Kramer video on the Internet. Dude’s got a problem. That wasn’t rational behavior. Quel asshole.
2:56pm
Just got back from the doctor.
Good news! It’s just a fracture and I can walk on it, provided I swear to wear an orthopaedic boot for the next FOUR WEEKS! I asked if I could have two so that I can put faux fur around the tops and wear them like Uggs.
Bad news! It still hurts like hell and the boot is really, really awkward and. Four weeks! Aaargh! You know that’s sooo not going to happen.
I’m off to practice walking around in The Boot now.
8:36pm
Geez, maintaining a blog has its privileges. I can’t tell you how many phone calls and e-mails I’ve gotten today from friends in town who are reading and wanted to know if they could help. Thanks, guys. You made me feel loved.
>Poor You!!!!TV does suck…that’s why I hate being home sick, I’ll go to work sick just to avoid tv during the day.
>Ouch, sorry about your foot, I know that hurts. If it’s any consolation, I sprained mine badly a few years ago and the doctor said I’d sprained it so bad I was probably going to wish I’d broken it – because if I had, once it’d healed it would have probably been fine. He was right – 3+ years later it still hurts all the time and now my other foot hurts too from walking a little funny to compensate for the bad one. So I know it hurts like the dickens right now, but honestly I’d trade in a heartbeat. Hope you get to feeling better soon!
>So sorry!!! How long until you can be up and on your feet again?
>Well, you kind of know me – in a blogish sort of way. Does that count?Jeffrey
>Step away from the vacuum, missy.
>OH NO! Try renting some lengthy DVDs, like the entire Sex in the City series. Good luck at the doc. Pregnant and broken anything does not sound fun. Time to break out the jigsaw puzzles and Mad Libs (in lieu of liquor.)
>Owie!Girl, I really hope that foot doesn’t have to be reset!I think it is against the law to have a sick day and not watch The Price is Right!I also think itβs about time for you to piss someone else off; my blogger name isn’t making much sense anymore! Hah!
>Oh no! I hope you aren’t making Thanksgiving dinner…I agree with you. TV sucks. That is why I never watch it during the day. Although, sometimes a cheesy Lifetime movie will do very nicely when you are laid up.Oh, and Middlesex was very good. I hope you like it as much as I did.
>POOR YOU! I broke my ankle last year! From what you may ask? I was at the gym, ran on the treadmill and when I was finished I stepped off just right (or wrong) and fractured it into a zillion peices. I had an attractive cast and then I got to upgrade to an attractive Boot! What fun! I couldn’t drive until I finally decided I would learn to drive with it (not entirely safe I realize that). Taking baths with your foot hanging over the tub! Oh those were the days! I am going to pray for you!
>Oooo. Sorry you’re hurting!I should have warned you about the 50 bazillion FlyLady emails. I got off her email list with a weeks. The morning and evening routines I just can’t give up! Except that I don’t shine my sink (okay, maybe twice a month) nor do I wear lace up shoes. My routines help me stay caught up on laundry and dishes. My house isn’t always clean – I’ve got three girls (boys in floral prints) who follow me, recreating messes where I just cleaned them up.
>TV totally sucks. I feel for ya…time to rent movies.I read Middlesex a few years ago and really liked it. I’m going to start The Virgin Suicides in a few days. BTW, that was a decent movie.
>I feel for you darl, really. And stop that cleaning up before you do any more damage to your foot. My brother shattered one little bone in his foot in a motorcycle accident a few months ago and was laid up for ages, so I will keep my fingers (and toes… sorry) crossed for you.I didn’t enjoy Middlesex as much as I thought I would, but I’ve read far worse.
>Oh, honey, I’m so sorry! And aren’t there What Not To Wear reruns on during the day? Try that next time.
>Oh may, that has to hurt- did Dr. mention ice and heat? or ask dad-might help.Glad you and real little baby are ok-Take it easy or I’m telling!!! You have too! Movies, have the Hubs rent movies and series-like Entourage-Take care-C
>Yeowy! Two of the worst things to break and/or fracture: a hand or a foot. Do be careful. Don’t push – it’ll only backfire.
>Ouch and sorry about the foot. WEAR the boot! 4 weeks is better than 8. Short term inconvenience vs. long term pain if it doesn’t heal right…. Feel better, heal quickly and have another vicarita!
>ow ow ow. Big hugs to you and your foot.
>Ack, so sorry to hear about the foot! Hey, did you see Regis and Kelly on Friday when Clay Aiken hosted for Regis? I can’t believe sweet little Kelly went off on him today – wow! too funny. Hmm, Kramer turned out to be a schmuck, bummer. But good news – no book or tv interview for OJ! Hope you’re in less pain soon!
>Yipes! I’m so sorry.I think you’ll have to take up knitting, especially little baby caps for the new guy.
>Four weeks = off before Christmas. You don’t want that extended!! Please be careful! I am the last one who should be talking….I am a TERRIBLE patient myself. So bad at following directions. But seriously. You try, OK??Healing thoughts coming your way….
>I just finished Middlesex. Great book, although the end fizzles a bit. I feel your foot pain. I suggest trying to numb/entertain yourself with your prescription meds. Time goes so much faster that way. Geesh… I sound like a druggie, don’t I?
>Oh quit whining LOL My mother-in-law broke her foot clean off the joint and was so worried about how she was going to look when the ambulance came she drug herself in the house to change clothes because she didn’t want them to see her in her terrycloth housecleaning jumpsuit!!! NO LIEI’m glad it wasn’t worse for you and you won’t be stuck in tvland hell for too long! (…I can still send you the tiara if it would cheer you up!)
>oh shit. you have got to stop doing your pageant walks through the house on your linoleum floor, L!HEH.Where have I been? Dude. That sucks – however, it might not be so bad — pampering while pregnant and a good excuse.Okay forget that. Toddler in two…
>Oh, I feel for you!My hubby broke his ankle back at the end of April. He sounds similar to you in that he cannot just sit and do nothing. It was hard on him and on us, but we made it through and so will you. You will learn a lot about yourself and it will make you a stronger person.Good luck!
>Sorry to hear about your foot. Now might be a good time to purchase extra movie channels at home so you won’t poke your eyes out from the horrible daytime television.
>Sorry about your foot!I sprained my foot a year and a half ago and couldn’t drive for two weeks. It was rough.Hope you heal soon.
>Sorry about your foot!I sprained my foot a year and a half ago and couldn’t drive for two weeks. It was rough.Hope you heal soon.
>Feelin’ your pain. I’ve got a wicked nasty hangnail on my left pinky.But, I’m a man, I’ll soldier on without too much b*tchin.
>Oh well, you probably weren’t planning on skiing this winter anyway, right? Wait, do you even get snow in Nashville??Hope you heal quickly and don’t get bored out of your mind.
>Praise be the blogs… Life beyond our four walls.No fun being off of the feet.
>Yay for good news about the foot! My mother had bunyon surgery a long time ago and (with influence from my grandmother and her crafty ways that looked all kinds of cheesy) she decorated it with those jewels people used to put on shirts and sweaters. It really did look funny. I like your Ugg idea better. But hey, it could be worse. Crutches chafe your pits if you have to walk with them for long periods of time. Makes it hard to shave.
>I can totally relate to how much it sucks with a broken foot. I had FOUR broken bones in my left foot a few years back. The bad thing about it (other than the pain, more hydrocodone please) is that I had to replace half of my shoes! Wait….bad thing. I can also tell when it’s going to rain or snow. It’s a great palor trick.
>I hope your foot is doing better. How do you like the View with Rosie? I like it better w/her, I couldn’t stand it before.AUGH, and I just remembered your knocked up so you can’t even have good drugs for your foot. I’m sorry, that’s a bummer!! Cute story about baby with the cane though….
>I feel your pain…6 weeks since I broke my foot in 2 places I’m still not driving and googling things like “broken foot” and finding you…perhaps you could take up knitting? good luck
>So you didn’t get to go see Imogen Heap? You missed a good show. I love your blog by the way. I’m slipping into adulthood little by little and your blog makes me laugh all the time. Thanks π
>I didn’t get to see Imogen Heap. I was sorely disappointed, more by the amount we paid Ticketmaster for two tickets than by missing the show. π