>My First Troll
>One of the most important things I’ve learned in the year that I’ve been blogging is that y’all love honesty. When I write what I’m really thinking, no matter how assinine or embarrassing it sounds to me, I get a great response from you guys. I’ve based my whole blog on the concept of putting who I really am out there, and in my real life, it has changed me from a woman who was unsuccessfully trying to fit the mold of suburban mother back into the crazy, goofy girl I always was and should never have been trying to stifle in the first place.
So when I decided to put my real name on my blog, it was liberating. It was as if the transformation was complete. I was claiming myself, my real self, and everyone out there could either take me or leave me.
I realized that there would be pitfalls to putting myself out there: Criticism, negativity, and people who just plain don’t like my writing or don’t like me. And that was fine. I could handle it. I was a reporter and anchor for seven years, so I had dealt with it all before.
But I got my first hate mail, or the Nashville Scene editor did, and it contained something entirely unexpected. Bitch went after my mama.
I’d post the letter, but instead I’m just going to link you to it here.
I read the letter online yesterday, and I’d like to say I was all cool and snarky about it, that I laughed it off or came up with a devastatingly clever response, but the truth is that I could only think about how my mom would feel if she read it and I. felt. awful.
You could debate whether or not I should be writing about my family and whether I have opened them up to this kind of thing, but I just don’t think that a column about a funny incident that’s been told and retold in my family for years is deserving of a letter attacking my mother. I also think it’s weird in general to get that angry over a humor column. I mean, it is what it is. If you don’t like it, don’t read it.
As if the letter on its own weren’t bad enough, a widely-read site on Nashville bloggers posted the letter yesterday afternoon. The post and the comments were supportive, but I was still prickly about the whole thing. By last night, I was feeling a little better about it as we picked up a few copies of the paper at Starbucks for the girls to read.
“Oh my gosh!” my 15-year-old cried as she opened the paper to the Letters section. “You’re in bold!”
“What?” I said, grabbing it. Sure enough, the worst part of the letter was featured on nearly half the preceding page. “I PITY POOR LINDSAY FERRIER [BLAH BLAH BLAH]…” I read in gigantic letters.
At that point, I had to laugh. It was like a crazy nightmare. And yes, it’s good for the column and it generates buzz I suppose, but People, this is my life!
As the girls tsk tsked over the letter, I reread it myself. “I can’t believe she signed her address,” I mused to them. “Because we could so totally roll her.”
Not that we would. I’m just saying. We could.
>That letter is so toxic and mean. I sure hope that if your mother finds out, that she takes in stride. Judging by the original stall talk column, she clearly has a sense of humour! Kudos to you for putting it all out there. It’s not easy and you’re doing a great job.
>Wow. She wasn’t one of those sort of cute Troll dolls, either. Mean bitchy troll is more like it.I hope your mom realizes that most of us think that she raised a funny, talented daughter.Since you’ve got her address, maybe you should send Ms. Evins a utensil for pulling her head out of her ass.
>Shoot, Lindsay. Some people need to lighten up and have a sense of humor. You and your Mom are just fine… JUST AS YOU ARE! That lady just hasn’t been out for enough swinging… that’s her problem.What other feedback have you seen from your column?
>This woman obviously does not have a sense of humor. There are so many important issues in our community that are more deserving of criticism. Not that farting and potty etiquette is not a poignant issue, because it is dammit. And I’d feel the same way about someone saying anything about my mama!
>It’s bad enough that someone would stoop to writing a Letter to the Editor insulting someone’s mother, but it’s even worse that a newspaper would print it.And that’s what I told The Scene.
>Hey Lindsey … my husband’s VERY large uncle and his wife live in Lebanon. Want me to call them and have David show up at her door? He could put on a great New York accent, and tell her not to diss your mama! He could run a few Godfather lines past her. Or better yet, he could hand her a fish with her letter in the newspaper wrapped around it. The balls. The sheer balls.
>Gah! I realized I put an “e” where there should have been an “a.” Sorry for misspelling your name. Or is it mispelling?
>Someone needs to tell Mz Troll that ladies do not say “crap”.He he he …Seriously, I used to work at a newspaper in the south. We had little old ladies threatening to never read our smutty trash again … because of the Dillard’s ad. (a girl in shorts and a crop top – it was a cosmetics ad).
>You guys are hilarious!The overall feedback for the column has been fabulous. This letter has been the only negative thing I’ve read about the column-or the blog- ever. So I realize I am very very lucky as far as that’s concerned. And I personally don’t like the letter, but honestly I would’ve published it too if I were the editor (who, by the way, has gotten some mean letters that would make your head spin). Because the letter is so over the top that it’s funny (unless you’re my mother), AND it generates buzz. Anyway, thank y’all for your support. 🙂
>I was wondering if something like that was going to happen. When a whole community has access to “Letters to the Editor,” you inherit a whole new family of trolls. Don’t worry about her, and keep doing what you do. We won’t complain!!!
>She obviously has a stick stuck in her craw. She ain’t getting laid enough or she doesn’t have a funny bone in her body. Or both. I vote that you roll her house. Maybe she would get a giggle over a flaming bag of poo or a fart machine planted in her flower bed.
>i write for a local paper, so i know all about the wackos out there. When they just direct their “criticisms” toward the author, it’s almost a completment in my eyes anyway. It fired the person up enough to write. However, when they bring your family into it, they’ve gone over the line. I think you should write her a coy little thank you letter and publish it– that is what I did when this person stepped over the line. Anyway, the letters stopped, and the authors looked really foolish.
>You would think Le Troll had never taken a shit before in her life, the way she was going on about how “disgusting” it was to read about “bathroom smells and noises.”Ms. Evins, here’s a ladder. Get over yourself.Also, calling someone’s mother (whom you only “know” through a newspaper column) nasty names is not exactly high-class. Give me potty humor any day over holier-than-thou bitchery.
>Congratulations L, you’ve weeded out the one person with zero sense of humour, who doesn’t read your column/blog and laugh uproariously. Either that, or she was the woman who majored in Fart History in the other cubicle!
>Tell the girls that I’m in and I’ll bring the charmin 😉
>I’ve seen your column and read your comments and honestly, I don’t think you understand what the word “troll” means in this context.You did get a “letter to the editor” which is pretty much an old school way of responding in print media. A “troll” in internet and blog terms is very different.I do want to advise you to keep in mind that the internet is a large place, with a lot of people involved in it. You need to be very careful with your personal information and details, becuase once they’re out, you can’t get them back. True trolls are frightening and have very little else to do all day but to virtually harass you. Be careful, the world is a smaller place than it seems.A troll stalker tracked me down via the internet one time and mailed me a picture of the front of my house. It wasn’t cutesy or about my mama, it was about my family and it was not funny.
>omg… i am totally in for a rolling! i can be to nashville in like, what? 4 or 5 hours? and to smack down your momma?that’s just tacky.
>You know, sometimes the way other people act just makes me shake my head. I’m glad you’re able to shake it off as well as you are, Lindsay.
>That letter is so toxic. You are handling it much better than I would .. but you know if you ever needed some help with the rolling…
>Sara, when I say “troll” I’m referring to a mean little creature who lives under a bridge. You’re right, though, that someone who writes letters to the editor is hardly the same thing as an Internet troll and if what happened to you had happened to me, I’d be totally and completely freaked out.I have a dear blog friend whose comment I deleted because I just don’t want to put that woman’s personal information on my blog, even though it’s totally available on the Scene’s website. Don’t be mad, friend. :)Now this woman’s gonna get rolled some day and try to trace it back to me! Let me just state for the record that I would never, ever do that, vulgar as I am. Heh.
>OK, so I was curious to see who this Nancy Evins is…..and after just one tiny search on Google, I found that she is a Bridge-playing 71yr old coot. Apparently, she plays Bridge with a league that keeps scores online. But just a little icing on the cake, the only Nancy Evins in Nashville is also a Hypnotherapist! She has a silly little website and all. It made me smile, may it make you smile too.
>Roll her, but wait for me. I’ll bring the t.p.
>I’ve been meaning to tell you that I’m so proud of your new gig at the paper and delighted to know you. The blog design is fabulous, you are amazing–luv ya! C
>You know what I like most about your column, Lindsey? It reminds me to “lighten up” about day-to-day life and, well, turmoil. I come here and laugh and rediscover the humor of living with family, friends and strangers. Some folks however, are just too far gone in the land of sticks. Pity her and try to ignore it.
>That’s awful and I have to comment because I so feel your pain.I went from anonymous to “real name human” when I started writing for Blogging Baby. Commenters have called me stupid, admonished me, and suggested that my baby’s head is too big. It’s part of the game, I know, but it keeps me up at night sometimes.Sorry for you and your Mom, neither of you deserve that asshat’s drivel.
>That was awful! She needs to lighten up, man! You’re so brave to write about it though. That’s why I’m so leery in putting any pix of my kids on my blog. There are some weirdos out there.Here’s a thought for you…do you think that troll might have been the one in the stall when your Mom made that commnent? In any case, she should lighten up!Love the new design by the way!!
>Oh, Nancy. Bless your heart. (Lindsey, does “Bless your heart” mean the same thing in your part of the South as it does in mine?)
>I don’t think your mother would feel awful – she may, however, be upset enough to go over and give Ms. Evins a piece of her mind. Give your mother some credit – and the bitch’s address.
>This woman was probably the Toot Saluter and is mortified her Stall Troll commentator story is out on the Internet.
>OF COURSE she is from Lebanon. Great. We’re not all like that, I promise. I for one, think your column and blog are fabulous. Just for future reference…I know EXACTLY where her house is. And where you can get the cheapest TP in Lebanon. I’m just saying…
>WHAT THE HELL?! Why on earth would someone even think they needed to write in for that? That is insane! Could it possibly be someone in real life who knows you, and just wanted to stir the pot? Seems very weird that a total stranger would feel compelled to write that. You keep on keepin’ on, girl. We loves ya.
>What a douche.And you know she’s getting off on the attention her hate mail has received. You just keep on keepin’ on girlfriend! You set the bar for all bloggers. Every single entry of yours is to be respected and learned from. (and doesn’t it suck that ONE troll can negate all the positive? I hate that!)
>Haha! She said “crap” in a letter about toilet humor. I wonder if she saw the irony?
>She is just jealous of you. Plain and simple.If I lived in Nashville, I would roll with you…
>I want to send a letter to the editor, but their site is so brain-dead that it won’t let me send a letter that’s within 200 words (like they requested) nor will it release the address so I can email them directly.STUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPID!See the editor gets this (I’ll email you my address and phone number if she wants them).To Whom it may Concern,I wish to respond to Nancy Evins’ letter dated 22 June.I have been an avid fan of Lindsay Ferrier’s blog “Suburban Turmoil” for nearly a year now, and I have found it refreshing, honest, and down to earth; a truly enjoyable read.I find it odd that Ms. Evins, rather cowardly, I might add, directed her needlessly vituperative diatribe towards Ms. Farrier’s mother, rather than Lindsay herself. Ms. Farrier is, after all, an adult; capable of making her own decisions. Furthermore, Ms. Evins’ referral to Ms. Farrier’s mother as “Miss,” implying that Ms. Farrier’s parents were never married, is especially shameful.I believe she is one of those bitter harpies whose only delight in this world is seeking out minutiae to heap disapproval on. I pity her, for one can only imagine how deep the emptiness within her soul must be for her to feel compelled to be so rude, unpleasant, and generally disagreeable.If she doesn’t like “Suburban Turmoil,” I suggest she doesn’t read it.Sincerely,Rik FairbanksSandy, Ut.
>Heh. Where I come from, you “roll” someone by throwing a sheet over their head as they walk out their front door, roll them out to the middle of the lawn, then hit them with calf-length crew socks half-full of pennies.
>Obviously this person lacks a sense of humor, takes themselves too seriously, and has a large stick positioned up their rear.I was wondering how crazy a person had to be to put their address in a newspaper. I’d go TP that person’s house.
>Why does she have such an issue with the combination of mother and crass?There are a few very well-known blogs that I find kind of “eh”, but I cannot imagine slagging them in print. Its easy enough to just not read their work.
>Yeah, I noticed that address immediately. So I guess being mean isn’t her only fault. Your reaction to this is so cool. Her accusations are entirely without grounds and to attack your mother? Puhlease. The column was so obviously a humorous recounting of a funny episode and nothing more. For her to take it so seriously and then to find the time to write a letter like that shows that she’s either seethingly jealous or just weird.You are awesome Ms. Lucinda, or Lindsay, or Coolest Stepmom of the Year, no matter what name you go by. I imagine this won’t be the last of the trolls you encounter, but I hope it’s the last that gets to you.
>P.S. I wonder what Nancy will have to say about the swinger and Miss Ferrier’s crude reference to sexual intercourse in motor vehicles.
>I haven’t read through all the comments yet, but I’m more pissed at the editorial staff of the paper here. This letter is neither thoughtful nor constructive which begs the question, why was it published, unedited? Hopefully it will serve to generate more sympathy for you amongst your readers. As you can see, we get our backs up pretty good when someone attacks someone we like reading.
>DID YOU SEE the ‘ovarian mafia’ line in the In This Issue box…did the boar play bridge?
>I’m thinking HER mom shouldn’t have made HER so uptight and ANAL.
>YOu know what I pity that lady. I mean she must have no life to actually take time out of her day to write a rude letter about something that is meant to be funny. Hmmm Like my 6 year old would say ” They are just jealous” I say we should all write her a letter…. However you need to do some detective work that youre so good at and see if the bia didnt lie about where she lives rofl.
>Writing is about honesty and people spend their entire lives hiding themselves from family and friends. This letter is from someone who obviosuly hiding their lives from even themselves. You should celebrate your humor, you loving family, and you ability to share that with people. Your mother will be shocked, but you are both cut from the same bright gem. RS
>I think that we become who we are in spite of or to spite our Moms. I know I have.Great fun post!Beautiful author!
>Yes- your column is entirely crass. For someone who has never watched anything but Masterpiece Theatre or ever met a man who doesn’t wear a powdered wig or a young child.In keeping with the toilet theme, perhaps her house should be tp’ed? I’m just saying….
>Look at this as a positive.1) She READ your column. You have an audience.2) Your column had an impact on her. In fact, it got her so hot and bothered that she took the time to WRITE A LETTER about it.3) All journalists who are famous piss someone off. If you wrote things that made everyone like you all the time, you would be boring. 4) Consider this your first step towards a book deal.I think the 50+ comments you have on this blog every day speak for themselves that you DO have readers who like what you have to say.(Did you notice the way I was able to work the words “impact” and “piss” into my comment?)
>Now it means you’re somebody if you get hate mail like that! You’ve been noticed!
>I’m with Mom-101. As an editor in a past life, I’d have a hard time trying to justify publishing that letter.But you handle yourself well. Some people are just freaking nuts…Sigh..
>Wow! Sounds like one uptight bitch!!! If the bitch is soooo sensitive, maybe she out to read a different publication, because quite honestly, her uptightness deeply offends me. Keep on rockin’ Lindsay…you kick ass!!An adoring fan,Denise331 E. Bitch DriveBitchville, TN 12345
>I agree this lady sounds really uptight. She’s probably one of those people who constantly criticizes others and is terrible to be around.That being said, I guess you have to put up with stuff like that if you write about your family in the press, you know?And a little tp never hurt anything did it?
>Forget it and keep doing your thing. It’s the weak (and probably very repressed) ones who take cheap shots. If you ask me, she’s the one who needs an etiquette book.
>What’s so strange is that trolls WASTE so much time writing that kind of crap. Sorry you had to experience that. I’d offer you some of my trolls, but frankly, they’re worse, and far less articulate.
>I wouldn’t let such a letter bother me too much, but I’d be pretty ticked that it ran unedited. It’s one thing to complain about “potty humor” and quite another to make a personal attack.It’s a tough call though, once it’s out there ever asshole can have an opinion.
>Oh .. and I loved it, by the way. My mother sang. Everywhere.
>Don’t you realize it was written by the lady in the stall that was calling out everyones play by play!
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