Playhouses of the Rich and Famous

I came across the most fantastic website of custom-built children’s playhouses– and we’re not talking about the spider-filled clapboard cabins you may have been lucky enough to have in your own backyard as a kid. Oh no. These playhouses come equipped with running water, electricity, central air, and a wireless communication system according to the website, and prospective buyers can work with an interior designer on playhouse “window treatments, moldings, paint colors, furnishings, rugs and flooring including wood, marble or Mexican tile.” The end result can run you well over $100,000. 

Holy Shish Kabob.

What kind of family, you may ask, can afford such luxurious luxury? Such decadent decadence?

You’re about to find out.

Check out these completely OVER THE TOP playhouses…

At first, Sonata squealed with glee when her parents presented her with a Grand Victorian Playhouse for her seventh birthday.  Then she grew pensive. “There’s no garage,” she said sourly. “Exactly where am I supposed to park my FAO Schwartz BMW? Hmm?”

 

Though countless sleep specialists, psychiatrists, and spiritual counselors were consulted, it wasn’t until the von Lastenbergs acquired this custom-made English Tudor Cottage Bed that Celerie finally agreed to sleep in her own room.

Both parents agreed it was the best $32,000 they had ever spent.

 

Eight-year-old Prudence Lannister-Targaryen appointed the noted British design team Portly & Pepperpot to help set her Victorian Playhouse apart from those of her friends.

 

She appreciated the team’s sensitivity to her desire for clean lines.

 

And she enjoyed surprising guests with baskets of freshly-baked wooden popovers straight out of the toy oven.

 

But her favorite spot was the keeping room, where she loved to relax with her favorite book, This Little Piggy Went to Prada.

 

“Thaddeus has been suffering from a lack of self esteem ever since placing last in the junior regatta,” his father mused. “How can we get the lad back on track?” Suddenly, he brightened. “By god!” he roared. “I’ll buy him a $52,000 Pirate Ship Playhouse!”

 

The Magical Windmill Playhouse Lidewij de Auf der Joop commissioned for her daughter, Bridget, hearkened back to her childhood home in Vergenspløgund.

 

“Imagine, Bridgje,” Lidewij would croon to her daughter. “This little house cost twice as much as the one it was modeled after. And the whole thing was paid for with clogs.”

 

Bridget thanked her lucky stars that de Auf der Joops had become the new Louboutins.

 

Inson Roosevander’s requests to enter the Biffington twins’ Cotton Candy Manor were always stoutly refused.

 

“Really, Inson? Soccer?” Beatrix asked, while Bunny gave him a withering stare. “Hashtag EPIC FAIL.“

 

The Roosevanders retaliated by buying their son his very own Colbert Castle Playhouse.

 

“Those Biffington bozos don’t know what they’re missing,” Inson mused happily from inside the castle’s fireplace.

 

The Agnew children had the smallest Cottage Playhouse in Nantucket. The resulting social stigma was credited years later as the inspiration behind their critically ignored debut album, Playhouse Paupers.

 

Giordana Corleone’s Mediterranean Villa Playhouse reminded her father of the family home back in Italy. Purely for nostalgic reasons, he paid for the $50,000 playhouse with a suitcase full of unmarked bills.

 

No one knew where nine-year-old Jayden Fatsby came from, and no one cared. His massive playhouse was always packed with tiny revelers and inside, the apple juice flowed freely, the candy jars never emptied, and  the Spongebob aired around the clock.

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