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December 22, 2011 posted by Lindsay Ferrier

The Devil Made Him Do It. Seriously.

The Devil Made Him Do It. Seriously.

With two small children in the house, Christmas is a major time for milestones.

A few nights ago, Dennis and I finally got around to wrapping all of the presents, after we’d gotten the kids in bed. The next morning, the children tumbled down the stairs to the Christmas tree, eager to inspect all of their gifts. “This one’s mines!” four-year-old Bruiser shouted after checking a label. “And this one! And this one!”

I realized suddenly that this was the first year he was able to read his own name on presents.

*cue strains of Sunrise, Sunset as Lindsay weeps softly*

It’s also the first year we haven’t had to worry about Bruiser ripping the wrapping off certain gifts before the big day. But don’t think it’s smooth sailing for us yet. Oh no. Bruiser has entirely new temptations now.

He’s a present peeper.

“I only saw onnnnne present last night,” he told me in a confiding tone after the kids had inspected their wrapped gifts.

“What?” I said. “You peeped when I was carrying everything downstairs? I told you to stay in your bed!”

“I saw one present,” he repeated. “It was the BARN.”

“Shhhhhhh,” I said, nervously glancing at Punky, who was busy shaking one of the gifts with her name on it. The ‘barn’ was actually a Melissa & Doug horse stable I’d found for a song on a flash sale site earlier in the year. Punky still loves playing with her horse collection, and she has never had a proper stable for them. It was one of the few presents under the tree that would be a total surprise. I held Bruiser by the shoulders and looked him in the eye. “That is a surprise for Punky,” I told him earnestly. “Please don’t tell her what it is. I want her to be SURPRISED.” Bruiser nodded and then ambled back over to the tree.

“Look, Punky,” he said slyly, putting one hand on top of the wrapped stable. “It’s a barn for you!”

This has continued over the last few days. When it comes to presents, Bruiser just can’t keep his big 4-year-old mouth shut. Two nights ago, we took the kids to Dollar Tree and let them each pick out presents for the whole family. When we got home, we sat down to wrap them, putting the kids at opposite ends of the room so that they wouldn’t see each others’ presents. This didn’t deter Bruiser.

“Look,” he said to his sister, holding up a bag of Spongebob candy. “I gotted this for you. Can I have some?”

A few minutes later, he sidled up to his dad. “I boughted you a flashlight,” he crowed, holding it out gleefully. “See?”

“You’re not supposed to tell me about that!” Dennis sputtered.

“I gotted it for you and I’m going to tell you about it,” Bruiser said stoutly.

The kid’s impossible. Impossible!

Worst of all, of course, is the fact that he keeps trying to peep at his own presents. This led to a taped confession, where he informed me that he was not responsible for his actions. Check this out:

Hands full, people.

Hands. Full.

Comments

comments

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  • Blog_antagonist

    LOL…this is why, even now that my children are older, the presents stay hidden until Christmas morning.

    • Anonymous

      I’ve thought seriously about doing that, but the tree looks so PRETTY with presents underneath it– especially this year– the presents hide the fact that our tree is a bit…. crooked!

  • oh. my. gosh. this is HILARIOUS!!! Yes, your hands are gonna be very full.

    • Anonymous

      I worry every single day about what he’s going to be like as a teenager!

  • Anonymous

    This. Is. Awesome. That is sooooo priceless! It’s like I say about my boy, “It’s either gonna be a Nobel Prize, or maximum security prison.”

    • Anonymous

      YES. Let’s hope for the former!

    • Anonymous

      When my now-16yo son was 3, I was always saying, he’s either going to be a great man of God or in prison.  Unfortunately the two things are not mutually exclusive.

  • Empty boxes wrapped under the tree work well too..except it drives the kiddos nuts when they do the “shake and break” test and NOTHING rattles :). My kids are 15, 13, 11 and 10 and there’s not a snowball’s chance I’d risk putting all their gifts out before Christmas morning. They still sneak a peek.

    • Anonymous

      One of Punky’s best friends keeps INSISTING that Santa isn’t real and that he’s actually your parents, despite many conversations between this girl and her mother to not share her knowledge with others. 🙂 Punky is “very upset with her.” I’m just glad she doesn’t believe her!

  • Michelle Wolfson

    What kind of a deal do you all have with Santa to get your gifts under the tree so early? Santa doesn’t hit our house until Christmas eve!

    • Anonymous

      Our kids only ask Santa for a couple of things and he brings those on Christmas morning. The wrapped presents are from us, grandparents and siblings. 🙂 SANTA CAN ONLY CARRY SO MUCH! LOL.

  • Kelleywin

    My 4 year old has explanations JUST like that for his actions. So.hard.not.to.laugh.

    • Anonymous

      It frightens me that he’s such an accomplished liar!

  • Anonymous

    My little brother was the same way when we growing up.  I remember getting SO MAD at him for telling people what we got them for Christmas!  lol

  • Hahahaha. No, I’m pretty sure that’s theologically sound. Devil world. God world. Yep. Leviticus says so or something.

    • Anonymous

      I’m just wondering where he got the sand from… We’ve been doing Jesse Tree stories from the OT for the last month- I’m assuming he’s noticing all the desert pictures from his Bible storybook.  Ha!

  • Randmlusk

    I love how Punky tries to call him on it!

    • Anonymous

      I know! TYPICAL. ;D

  • Mary A

    heart full too. . .

    I think  my 4 year old comes from that devil planet. . .

    • Anonymous

      Ha! I much prefer God Planet, which is filled with good guys… AND SAND.

  • NancyB

    Devil Land and God Land (with sand!) – I love it!

    We don’t put ANY presents for any of the three of us out before Christmas.  I have everything in bags and I bring them downstairs after everyone has gone to bed (usually around 11).  My husband has the nasty habit of seeing a wrapped present and trying to guess what it is.  I don’t even want to TOUCH any of mine until I can open them (I hate spoiling a surprise for me!).

  • Angie

    That was hilarious!

  • We’re familiar with that devil. lol

    • Anonymous

      Always good to know I’m not the only one…

  • Cindy

    Love it. We don’t put our presents out until the kids are asleep on Christmas Eve because of this.  Unfortunately, I left a couple of their presents out in plain sight (genius move on my part) so my oldest, 7, knows what she is getting. I could kick myself for that.

    As for blabbing about gifts, just last night, we had a going away party for my 21 y/o niece – she is moving out on her own so we bought her some pretty dishes and a coffee maker.  I gave one of my 3 y/os the wrapped coffee maker and told her, “give this to J and say Congratulations”. She walked up to her cousin, handed her the gift and said, “Here J, it’s a coffee maker for you”.  Gotta love it!

  • Amy

    This was so much fun to watch. I never keep the sound turned on on my computer while I’m working, but I turned it on just for this and it was SO worth it.
    But to add a serious note – when he said the ‘sand’ comment, it immediately made me think of those pictures from the beach you posted this summer. I wonder if he sees that environment as being as perfect as one can be, and envisions that as what it is like where God lives (which he calls “God Planet” but I think he means ‘heaven.’) That’s what struck me, anyway.

  • Melissa

    Now THAT is future girlfriend fodder. 🙂 

  • Cathy B.

    Poor Bruiser is possessed!  That naughty devil making him peek 2 times.  This is the first year my kids are both fully aware of no santa (at 9 and 12 it was time) and we already put up our tree (Santa used to bring it with ALL the presents on Christmas Eve) and I was hoping for a leisurely December with presents under the tree. Turns out both my kids are peepers and surprise ruiners!  Now I am hiding their gifts at a neighbor’s house.  And I got coal shaped chocolate for their stockings!

  • Anonymous

    Hands full indeed! But, maybe he’ll get all that stuff out of his system now and his teenage years will be a breeze.

  • Oy! That reminds me of a Christmas Eve morning, two years ago. My son (just a year or so older than Bruiser) climbed up on a rickety step stool to fetch wrapped presents from the top of the VERY TALL armoire in my room so he could carry them to his room, close the door and surreptitiously unwrap them. I don’t think he thought out the rest of the plan, since I obviously discovered a mess of torn wrapping paper and the gifts themselves on the floor of his room!

  • I finally got around to watching the video and all I can say is ADORABLE…..and you DO have your hands full! 🙂

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