>The Moment You’ve Been Waiting For!
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ADVICE COLUMN!
Now with e-mails!!!
This month, I’m featuring four missives from the ST e-mail bag….
Can you please answer me a question about my hamster that i have just brought, it’s a roborovski dwarf hamster, is it ok living on it’s own, I play with it a lot everyday,
Dear Kid,
Thanks for writing! Yes, dwarf hamsters like to have a friend around. They also like to play outside. The cool thing is, if you have more than one and you let them out in the yard, they will be so busy playing together in the sunshine that they won’t run away or anything. Just take them outside, open the cage and give them a little privacy for a few minutes so that they can get used to their surroundings. Once they’ve had ample time to play, you can go back out, put them back in their cage and bring them inside. They’ll be so happy!
I am glad you figured out how much I LOVE DWARF HAMSTERS! 🙂 🙂 🙂
Hugs!
Lindsay
An underground organization known as the First Wives Club? Honey, I’ve known some nasty first wives in my time, but trust me, they are anything but organized! As far as I can tell, the mean ones are so busy coming up with snide comments that their houses are a mess and their clothes? Totally last season.
Hugs!
Lindsay
Also, I want to add sound and video to my new blog. Can you help me with that part? And I’d like a sidebar too with blinkies.
Thanks. I can’t wait to here back from you.
Wow. How nice of you to think of me. Um, unfortunately, I’m uh, I have SARS. Or I’d totally do it.
Hugs!
Lindsay
hi,
show your toes!
From the german googler!
Hi,
Fuck off!
From the Captain of Capitalization!
And of course, my advice column wouldn’t be complete without answering a few of the hapless searchers who’ve come here looking for help…
No friend syndrome- Sugar Land, Texas
Forget the fact that you’re an asshole, a pathological liar, and you haven’t bathed in weeks. You’ve just been diagnosed with No Friend Syndrome.
Ahhhh. That explains it.
How to have parents say yes to hamsters- Campbell, CA
Promise them that you will take care of the hamster all by yourself, and they will not have to do a thing!
How to locate a dead hamster in house- Campbell, CA
1) Believe your kid when she tells you she will take care of her hamster all by herself! And you will not have to do a thing to help!
2) Wait about two weeks.
I forgot the dog’s birthday-Durham, NC
You worthless sack of shit. You have no business owning a dog. Or a hamster, for that matter.
The perfect suburban wife.
Well, it should come as no surprise to any of you that I am the number one Google result for this search. I have waited all my life for this moment and now the crown is MINE! ALL MINE!
I’d like to thank my dog (born November 3rd), the Germans, and dwarf hamsters the world over.
>I’m glad someone is taking up the cause of hamsters everywhere. You really are the perfect suburban wife.I’m very late to your blog, but am enjoying it!
>Oh man do you crack me up!! I hope that you recover from your SARS soon!! LOL!!!
>Hilarious. I can’t believe someone e-mailed you asking for help with blog templates! haha!!
>Congratulations on your honor of “The Perfect Suburban Wife!” Not too bad when you consider Google’s results claim there are 2,800,000 results for this search!!!
>LMFAO- i heart you!
>oh lord…
>Oh…my…gawd, that was funny. I laughed out loud at your dog’s birthday response.Congrats on your new title!
>Dwarf hamsters are nothing — nothing when your niece nephews want you to see their naked, hairless rats. My wife screamed so loud that no one even noticed that I’d fainted.
>Oh dear. The hamsters are going to unionize against you or something. The Thousand Hamster March on Tennessee.
>Just too damned funny!
>Tell the woman asking about the First Wives’ Club not to worry. The Soccer Mom Network is much worse. Especially with their broken Stepford transmitter.Sure you can get a hamster. Sure you can get a hamster. Sure you can get a hamster. Sure you can…
>Nice responses!I was #1 for awhile on Google for “trendy guy haircuts”. And I’m bald! (no, not really)
>Thanks for making me laugh – I needed it today!!! Sars! LOL”Fuck off!” OMG.
>I can’t believe these people are asking you such things. Too funny!
>You gotta warn people when you’re writing something this hilarious. I choked on my coffee.
>I am cracking up! And now that I know you’re the perfect suburban wife, I’m going to stop feeling guilty that I don’t even try…
>Um, yeah. You’re so perfect I posted ABOUT you yesterday. It’s a cry for attention, really, Just ignore it.
aboves…
Thanks! Will probably be nice to anyone who usess it, including myself. Sustain the nice work for positive ill take a look at extra posts.. Hey very nice blog!! more please great….