To Snip or Not to Snip? That is the Question.

  1. pauldeppler says:

    >I was circumcised, I’m not a father. Of course, I’ve never had a memory of the actual experience, and have never thought anything of it. I don’t know about the medical debate surrounding it. I suppose it is a cultural norm which shouldn’t be abandoned without serious thought, and participating in which you would allow your son to assert his differences in more important ways later on.Great post.

  2. Mir says:

    >My husband and I agreed to have the guy snipped. It took less than a few minutes and he only wailed once. I was told by our nurse that the anesthesia would be as painful as the prodecure. Something about nerve endings, etc. To be honest? Our kid screamed three times more loudly at having his heel pricked for jaundice testing than he did for the circumcision. And I don’t see all the mother hens clucking about anesthetizing a baby’s foot for this obviously painful procedure. Or for his two week shots. You’re right; in the South, it’s more cultural than anything else. In our large playgroup, all the boys were circumcised. And aside from an unpleasant experience at 12 hours old that I assure you my son at 15 months has forgotten about, I haven’t heard any solid, good reasons not to do it.

  3. green3 says:

    >When hubs and I discussed this before our sons were born, he said there would be no discussion. Our kids would definately be snipped. He could list every kid in his high school who had not been snipped because they were the butt of everyone’s jokes. And what would their s*x experiences be like, esp if their wife (or probably girlfriend, YIKES!)thought “it” looked weird? I didn’t want them to have to warn their partners, “I just have to tell you, this thing is going to look strange because I’m not circumcised.”So while is may be traumatic for them for a few minutes, it’s better than traumatic teenage years/young adults years. And it certainly can’t be as traumatic as being born. If you decide to do it, here is another question you’ll need to have decided. They will ask you whether or not you want to give them painkillers. Some doctors won’t do it because they say the shot to numb the area is almost as painful as the snipping itself. I fell for this and did not numb my second child, which I felt bad for. Bottom line, both boys and hubs are snipped and everyone is as happy as can be!

  4. Jessica says:

    >Both of my boys were were snipped. The youngest did not even cry. He was too busy happily sucking on his pacifer to even notice. I personally think it is every individual parents choice to have it done.

  5. me says:

    >All 3 of my sons have been circumcised. It seemed to bother me more than it did any one of them. They screamed briefly and fell asleep. Treating it was simple and painless for each of them. Maybe it is just a cultural thing, but we never even thought of not doing it.And after hearing stories of locker room behavior from my oldest, I think he is very happy to be just like everyone else. Because boys are just gross about their man hood.

  6. Akinoluna says:

    >Recently it’s been discovered that circumcized men are 50% less likely to become infected with HIV. I don’t know if that applies to other STDs but if you need a health reason, there it is…

  7. Gina says:

    >There was virtually no debate that our son would be circumcised. My husband thought it was best, and was even the one present when the procedure was done. Which seems fitting to me. It is definitely, as you say, a guy thing.

  8. Busy Mom says:

    >I’m pretty sure you know I’m not a father (that I know of, heh) but, both of my boys are circumcised.Just thought I’d throw that in.

  9. Miss Britt says:

    >My son isn’t circumcised. My husband is.I live in small town Iowa – which by definition I think is the opposite of anything remotely resembling “progressive”.When we were talking about snipping or not snipping, we heard a lot of “don’t you want him to be the same as his dad?!?!” I asked my husband about this and he laughed. He pointed out that he had no plans of standing around a urinal with his son as he got older, comparing penises.Neither of my two brothers are circumcised – and I assure you, it has not hindered them in anyway – socially, mentally, or otherwise.For us it came down to – this is an ELECTIVE thing. Do we have a reason TO do it? vs. Why NOT?We had zero health or religious reasons to do it. So we didn’t. And that was it for us.

  10. Kendra says:

    >When I asked my hubby for his opinion, it was like ya sure. So I’m guessing for men it’s not as big of a deal. I have seen an uncircumcised penis and I was actually really surprised! I went to change my new foster baby’s diaper and said to my mom, “What’s wrong with his penis?” Now that wasn’t meant in a mean way, it was more of a serious observation. A teenage boy in the locker room who is the only one who is uncircumcised isn’t going to be able to hide it. In my opinion, it’s more socially acceptable to do it then to not. If 50% of kids are uncircumcised by the time he’s older, then it shouldn’t be a big deal either way.My dad wasn’t circumcised (I ask for his opinion when I had my son and he told me lol) and had some medical complications as a teen and had to have it done later in life. He said it was the most awful experience he’s ever had.

  11. CeCe says:

    >My husband is snipped, and during both pregnancies, we talked about what we would do with our little one if it was a boy. I strongly believe that it should be up to the father, and he has said that he would not bother going through with it with our babies. (We’re due with our second girl, so it hasn’t REALLY been an issue). In BC where I live (West Coast Canada), very few new baby boys get the snip, and it’s no longer done in hospitals. We have provincial health care here which covers all of the birthing procedures and hospital stay, but if you want to get your son circumcised, you not only have to take him to a clinic when he’s a few weeks old, but you have to pay for it. It’s not a “normal” thing to do here. Personally, I wouldn’t want to deal with the extra care that’s involved in taking care of keeping it clean for the first while, and the threat of infection. I think that if you have some sort of religious reason, then go for it, otherwise, just leave it alone. But that’s MY oppinion!

  12. T says:

    >I agreed with both of my sons’ fathers to leave the decision up to them. Then I had trouble living with that agreement- I was against circumcision. Having worked in pediatrics, I have assisted in many newborn circs. I have seen older boys recovering from them done at later ages. I spoke with Urologists. There are VERY few medical indications for circumcision and wouldn’t you know, I somehow managed to end up with both the fathers of my sons having those medical conditions- both of them ended up circumcised in their 20s due to scarring of the foreskin that did not respond to other treatments. One had another son who ended up circumcised at 13 due to the same scarring. So I agreed using that rare medical condition as justification. That soothed my conscience a bit. In the future, I would wait to decide until birth, to review all the medical information for that child and not let social stigma be the deciding factor. But it’s still tough. Since I had a chance to know men who had lived both intact and circ’d, they were less influenced by the social aspects and more by the medical reasons.

  13. kittenpie says:

    >I would have it done for a few reasons. 1) There is some evidence that partners of uncut men have a higher incidence of cervical cancer and some genital infections, from simple yeast on up. 2) Quite frankly, uncircumcized ones look weird and kind of gross and I’d hate his partner to be icked out by it when he got older. 3) A good friend of ours had to have his done at age 9 and it was horrifying and traumatic for him, so I’d rather do it when they can’t remember and get it over with in case of later problems.

  14. Gertie says:

    >I let my husband decide. He wanted our son snipped. It was no big deal. They put this little ring on his penis, that fell off in about a week. It didn’t seem to bother him at all. He didn’t come back to the room screaming. I think there are medical benefits to being snipped, and it is a rather low risk procedure. Where I live almost all boys have it done.I don’t think it is a big deal either way. It’s a personal choice that shouldn’t be viewed as “good ” or “bad” either way you go.

  15. >Now this is coming from a person who has yet to ever give birth and also is not male (clearly), but I do type medical records for a children’s hospital and I can not even tell you the number of procedures I end up typing up for young babies – all the way up to 8 years – who were not circumcised and now they are dealing with adhesions and crap like that. It’s just not good. I never had an opinion either way until I started working in this field. It just seems like a rather large risk in the future.

  16. STL Mom says:

    >I’m glad to see that I’m not the only mom who avoided making this decision by leaving it up to my husband! I did do some research, and it seemed like there were risks and benefits either way. For my husband, it came down to believing that is was better for his son to look like him and the other males in the family.If you do it, prepared to temporarily regret your decision every time you open your son’s diaper for a week or so, and see the little wound. I felt terrible until he healed up. Now I’m fine with our decision.Of course, as a mommyblogger you already know that ANY decision you make as a parent will make some people think you are a completely incompetent and horrible parent (and the opposite decision would make a different group of people feel the same way!)

  17. Anonymous says:

    >I’m with all the people siting the health reasons. There are real, concrete studies that prove circumcision is better for the sexual, reproduction health of both your son and his future partners.Also, as a mom of a boy who was circumcized, those tiny little penises can be hard to clean anyway. My son got tons of gunk under the hood of his penis which I had to pull back and clean. I can’t imagine how difficult that would have been with foreskin to deal with.Also, I know teenaged boys. They don’t clean themselves well. With foreskin intact you’ve got to pay better attention to hygiene and I didn’t want to have to ride my older sons butt about cleaning his uncircumsized penis properly.I haven’t read any of this ‘debate’, but it sounds like the same group of moms who take everything too far…from not giving their kids chocolate or watch too much tv…to not letting them have a normal, snipped American-looking penis, lol. Sorry…just kidding about the american-looking part.

  18. abogada says:

    >Maybe I didn’t think this through enough, but shortly before my daughter’s birth, her doctor asked us what our plans were (in case the ultrasound was wrong). We both said “circumcise.” I must be out of step; I’ve always heard that it is healthier to be circumcised than not. Although it would break my heart to hear my hypothetical little boy cry; for that or for anything else.

  19. >I’m not going to give you pros/cons, but I’ll just say that I’ve got 3 boys whose foreskins are flapping in the breeze! 😉

  20. Anonymous says:

    >I’m a mother or two girls, but I’ve dated un-circ’d men.One who stood out attended a private, all-boys high school and went on to attend a private all-men’s college. He was never taunted about it and never had any medical problems (nor have any of the other un-circ’d men I’ve talked to – and yes, it’s come up in conversations when friends are having baby boys!).As far as any gross-out factor for me goes… be blunt…no. None. It looked a tiny bit different aroused, and it was “interesting” to see it soft (since I’d never seen one up until then), but honestly, his foreskin didn’t get in the way of sex or condom use. For every medical study that says circ-ing prevents this-and-that, there’s another one that says it makes no difference whatsoever. I’m against it for non-religious reasons, and if I had a boy I wouldn’t. Why do something just because “everyone else does”? Lots of replies so far that say circ-ing was needed late in life, but in every other “debate” I’ve read over this issue, that wasn’t the case. My advice would be to get information from the AAP ( and the AMA ( and see if you can find studies from both sides of the debate before making your decision. Meg

  21. toyfoto says:

    >I know about the debate, and while I must confess to being neither a man nor the mother of a boy (yet), I do think there’s enough evidence to warrent circumscision in boys as infants if that’s what the parents wish to do.Studies are showing that it provides men (and their partners) with fewer incidence of infections. So for me, I think the barrage of bullets fired over this choice parents have (ie how we treat each other with respect to decisions we make) is more barbaric than the procedure.

  22. dcrmom says:

    >We had this debate seven-and-a-half years ago. I read the same sort of stuff you have read. I felt the same way you do.And when I went to Hubs with my conundrum, he said, “My son will be circumcised, and that’s final.” And I said, Okaaaaaay. Guess that settles that.I really don’t see how this is any more barbaric than the shots we give our children, and yes I’m well aware of that debate, you don’t EVEN wanna get me started with all that.Basically, my feelings about circumcision are, he will never remember it, and the chances that he will resent you FOR circumcising are much less than the chances of him resenting you for NOT circumcising. And really, in the end, it should be up to his father.But that’s just my opinion. And you know what they say about opinions! ;-)Great post!

  23. Amy says:

    >One thing to consider besides appearance and health (although pretty much every study I’ve ever read says that there is NO health benefit to snipping) is the sexual/sensation effect of snipping vs. no. My husband is very anti-snipping, because he literally had ALL of his foreskin removed, and the -er – most sensitive spots are exposed and sometimes chafed uncomfortably. He really, really wishes he had some foreskin. Plus, he says that there are a lot of articles in men’s magazines, and discussion with friends, that shows sometimes having the foreskin intact actually increases sexual pleasure (extra bit of rubbing, I suppose?). I talked with my mom about this, since she had to handle this matter with my brother (30 years ago, but still), and she tells me that she instructed the doctor to remove just a minimal amount of foreskin – thus having the culturally “normal” appearance but still some protective skin. So maybe there’s a happy medium? I can say that after seeing the photos of a freshly circumcised little penis in my chidlbirth class – I’d have a hard time putting my little guy under the knife.

  24. Ruby says:

    >Although I’m not a soon to be dad, just a soon to be mommy (55 days!!! ;)) for my husband and I this was a no brainer decision. My husband immediately wanted a circumcision and I agreed. It is a cultural norm and something the baby will never remember. Unfortunately the day I went to the doctor and met with the first midwife (my hospital has a team of midwives to do the deliveries) I was berated for my decision. Now I have a backbone so nothing she said will sway me, but I was in shock at what this woman, A MIDWIFE, NOT A DOCTOR, was saying to me. Her first words to me were, “Don’t you know that this hurts the baby?” Then she went on to suggest that we wait until our son is 12 or 13 and could make his own decision. I practically laughed in her face. Besides the circimcision thing she was concerned that my husband was not at the doctor’s appointment with me and was worried that I would not have the support I needed as a new mother. She didn’t even listen to me when I explained that they had changed my appointment to two hours earlier in the day and my husband was working. That is why I chose to have a close friend who is a doula with me in the delivery room. I think circumcision is a decision you and your husband have to make on your own and with what you are comfortable with. Everyone else can just go fly a kite.

  25. Tuesday Girl says:

    >I was against hurting my son in anyway but left that decision to my husband because well, I don’t have a penis. He said “yes!” to circumcision because he felt that our son would be picked on and teased, he also feel like it would be much harder to keep clean as a child and since I had twins, it would be one less thing I would have to worry about. I am still sad thinkign about his newborn pain but I am glad it is over.

  26. Carrien says:

    >My son was born in Canada so we had to pay for his circumcision. We were all homebirth, no intervention, do nothing that isn’t neccessary, and I asked why would we circumcize then? But my husband’s mom is Jewish, all six of her sons were snipped. He told me he thinks that it does something at the core of his maleness that reminds him always that he belongs to God. That’s the religious reason anyway. We had it done.

  27. >This is where I lose the respect of the entire world. Our son, almost 6 months old, came off the plane from Korea “unsnipped”. For all of the reasons you listed above, we decided to have the procedure done. It’s a LOT harder at 6 months than as a newborn; you have to do it outpatient and the boy has to be knocked out to do it.I’m just glad his mama wasn’t there when he came to.Anyway, we don’t regret it. My wife can give you all kinds of medical reasons why it’s a good idea, and I had all the cultural ones.I don’t hold it against people who don’t do it, but if you and your husbands want to have it done, by all means, do! Just don’t wait till he’s 6 months old. 😉

  28. Jill says:

    >Long time lurker, first time commenter. It would have to be this post, too!My husband is not circumcised. My son-is. My husband has a problem with not being circumcised, and has since I met him. He feels that it makes him different, that it isn’t ‘manly’, or like other men’s. It doesn’t matter to me, but he was very vocal (and had the final decision)about our son getting circumsized. He said he didn’t want him to grow up feeling the same way about himself. That is my 2 cents. No opinion, no suggestion. Just my man’s point of view. Good luck in making your decision.

  29. Anonymous says:

    >I have two sons who are both circumsized. I have two brothers who are not circumsized. They have both undergone several penile infections in their lives. It seems as young children it is harder for a boy to keep himself totally cleaned when he isn’t circumsized. Both of them have said they wished they had been circumsized as babies. They are both in their early 20’s and are afraid of having the surgery now (fear of the pain).

  30. Velma says:

    >I told my husband it was his call, and he said yes, definitely, for both societal and medical reasons. It seems like a lot of people I know follow the “Look like Daddy” rule, and that definitely played a part, but I think what really swayed us was knowing someone who had to have it done in his 40’s and how agonizing it was for him.

  31. angel says:

    >i live in your area and can count off the top of my head a half dozen boys my son’s age (19 months) that are not circumcised. as a matter of fact at any playdate with male kids it is more likely to see an uncircumcised boy than circumcised. we chose not to, my husband agreed. there was no big argument.the medical reasons to circumcise are spotty at best and even the american medical association has stated that there are limited medical reasons to circumcise.that being said, i think it is a personal decision and not really anyone’s business one way or the other. we chose not to because i feel like my son has the right to make that choice later in life, if he is unhappy with his penis being uncircumcised. but until he’s old enough to decide for himself the foreskin is staying on!

  32. GarniGal says:

    >I am a 30 year old female and have never seen a circumcised penis. Lest you think I was brought up by nuns in Austria listening to the hills alive with the sound of music, I am the oldest (and only) girl of 7 boys. That’s a lot of penis. I have a live in boyfriend, so it’s not just a family thing.My SIL is Jewish, so my new nephew will be snipped.

  33. dedej says:

    >My husband is from the UK, and in England/ Europe, no one gets the snip. I am not a mother yet, but when my husband and I have talked about it (thinking ahead), he has said that his son will absolutely not be circumsized. However, I am not sure that he understands that almost all American men are (I think by the time they’re 30 they stop gawking at each other’s in the restroom). When the subject comes up for real, I will let him make the call, although I think he will stick to his orginal response. I have had several good friends give birth to boys over the past few months, and none of them have had it done, so maybe the tides are turning after all!

  34. Tony says:

    >I’m not a father, but as a circumcised man, I’m qualified, I think. My opinion: absolutely, 100%, do not circumcise your son.Since the comments have been so overwhelming in support of circumcision, I can’t respond to every argument, as much as I’d be willing to do so. I’ll hit a few specific points, but this, from dcrmom, is a good summary of the problem with circumcising infants without immediate medical need:Basically, my feelings about circumcision are, he will never remember it, and the chances that he will resent you FOR circumcising are much less than the chances of him resenting you for NOT circumcising.He will never remember it is not a valid justification. If it is, that would justify a lot of unseemly treatment. Children wouldn’t remember a beating, but that doesn’t make it acceptable.As for the chance that your son will resent you, in America, it’s small. But it exists. If the choice over whether or not to remove a natural, healthy functioning part of my anatomy had been left to me, I would never have made the decision to cut off my foreskin. Never. And evidence from every intact man I know points to the fact that, barring immediate medical need, intact men do not choose to have themselves circumcised. Very telling. Social acceptability is not enough.The difference in doing it and not doing it is what the boy, to whom the penis belongs, can do about it. If you leave him intact and he hates it, he can make the choice. If you cut him and he hates it, he’s stuck. One of the biggest fears in the comments seems to be that intact boys will be teased. In my experience growing up in the South, no one was ever teased for a foreskin. But for me, I had a much more common problem. I have red hair, which caused me grief. Today, at 33, I still get teased on the street. Instead of demanding that my parents dye my hair to be more socially acceptable, I learned to ignore the taunts for the meaningless reflection on the teaser.How is surgical, permanent alteration of a boy’s genitals, which will not be seen every day, more reasonable than than not using hair dye for something that will be seen every moment of every day?To the argument that his future partner(s) will find it icky. Who says? Can parents really know what their son’s partner(s) will like sexually? What if his partner(s) prefer intact? And, more importantly, what message does it send to males that they need to be altered to satisfy women? If we reverse that and say that a woman needs to get implants to satisfy a man, we rightly decry him as a pig. Why the double standard?The intact penis is not harder to keep clean. Until a few years after birth, the foreskin adheres to the penis. Do not retract this, as you would not prod into a girl’s genitalia. Just wash like every other body part. As he gets older, and his foreskin separates, teach him to wash, as well as the consequences of not washing. These are the same as every other body part.The foreskin’s adherence brings up another point. To circumcise, the doctor will have to rip the foreskin from the glans. The same cells that hold the foreskin to the glans holds nails to fingers. What kind of damage will that do, even if he doesn’t feel it?If the doctor uses painkiller, the boy will still have an open wound for at least a week. This will cause pain.As to the stories that foreskins cause problems, if we poll gynecologists, they’re going to tell us that vaginas are diseased and troublesome. What should we do about those while they’re healthy, cut them up? And infections? Girls get those, too, in greater numbers than intact boys. With girls we treat them when they arise, with less invasive methods than cutting.Boys should be protected. Their bodies belong to them. They are not subject to whims of parents when surgery and permanent alteration is involved. Immediate medical necessity is the only valid criteria for surgically altering children.

  35. Anonymous says:

    >As a guy, I’ve never compared my penis to my dad’s and don’t want to. ick. And I can’t say I’ve ever compared it to anybody else’s, either. It’s generally not accepted in this country for guys to sit around talking about each others’ private parts. I don’t “get” any circumcision argument that has anything to do with other people’s privates. To me, it comes down to “why?” If I were to have a son, I doubt I’d get him circumcised because it just doesn’t seem to serve much of a purpose. And it might be painful later, but at least you can have a “later.” If you’re circumcised (as I am), there is no “later.”And with that being said, whenever I hear my wife talking to my step-son about washing under his foreskin, I shudder. ugh. I never want to hear that again. And I don’t want to think of washing under my son’s foreskin, either, if I were to have a son.

  36. Jackson says:

    >My cousin opted to have himself circumcised at the ag of 14. Think about that or a second.To me, that is the end all. It was an easy decision to have all 3 (and the fourth on the way) of my sons ciscumcised.

  37. >As far as I am concerned, this is a medical decision. I would hope that my son would be able to deal with any ‘locker room’ issues there were, and if not, then what kind of child have I raised? Besides, beginning with “is there a particular reason you’re looking at my penis?”, I could come up with a few dozen retorts to end it.Medically, when Skippy (age 13) was born, there was plenty of research saying circumcision was unnecessary. I have yet to hear differently. Change happens when men of conscience stand up and say “I’m going to do what’s right for my family, and not what others in the locker room think is right.”

  38. Robin says:

    >My husband is uncircumcised. He had a lot of sexual partners before me, and not one had a negative reaction to it. Not one. I had never seen an uncircumcised penis up close until I met him, and for about three minutes I thought it was a little weird. I quickly got over it, however, and now I actually prefer the “natural look.”He says that he’s glad his parents didn’t circumcise him. Apparently uncircumcised men get more satisfaction from sex – more nerve endings, or something like that. And there are more things a partner can do with an uncircumcised penis. Uncircumcised men just need to do a little extra work to keep clean, and it’s no harder than cleaning your bellybutton.I think I’ve just caused you to think about your unborn son’s sex life. I’m really, really sorry about that. Please forgive me.

  39. >Actually, you made me wonder when was the last time I cleaned my belly button. 😉

  40. Lynnster says:

    >Well, I’m a female and also have never had children, but I am from the South and have a bit of an anecdote about the subject.I went to school within 100 miles of Nashville – not a large school but not a tiny one by any means. There was one – ONE – boy in my school that was uncircumcised. And EVERYONE knew about it – girls and guys – because he was the only one.I honestly don’t know whether there was a lot of teasing involved by the other boys. I would guess probably in junior high but not likely by high school since it was old news by then. But given how teenagers deal with sexuality issues, especially younger teenagers – I just can’t even comprehend what it must have been like for that boy to know that every girl in school knew what his penis looked like, most without having seen it themselves.Now, granted, that was 20+ years ago, but I’d about guarantee that’s it’s still probably true there today, that no boys, or only one or two, there are uncircumcised. Mainly because most of the kids there today are the children of people I went to school with, and every single one of those moms and dads remember how that one boy was the only boy in the entire school, for years. Sure it’s a mostly social thing, and not necessarily “right” or “wrong”. But kids so often have a hard time fitting in or dealing with issues of differences as it is, and I have a lot of doubts that in this part of the country, it would ever be the majority rather than minority. That’s just my opinion, of course, but I think if I have a male child, I’d have a hard time agreeing to something that would likely set him apart as different such as the above boy I knew…

  41. Darth Doc says:

    >Regarding circumcision, our pediatrician was neutral. The American Academy of Pediatrics (which has a left wing agenda) are neutral due to lack of compelling evidence either way. We chose circumcision because of the reduced incidence of UTI, infections, strictures (a nephew had to be circumcised at 7 years of age due to a stricture of the foreskin), penile cancer, etc. associated with the procedure. The anti-circumcision crowd will advocate their point of view with the difficulty of the 2 weeks of circ-care post procedure, decreased sensation (without a way to scientifically control for it, there is no before/after study on infant circumcision), and that all of the pro-data has soft endpoints…If you don’t go for the circ- hygene, hygene, hygene.If you do go for it…talk to your OB about getting a comfortable OB to do it. They do procedures for a living. Peditricians will do it, but they do less procedures and they have more of a financial incentive to do it ($150 to follow a well baby in the hospital, $250 for the procedure). The moyles in town are not the best. I will be curious to which way you go.

  42. >My hubby of 3 years is not circumcised, and is the first man in my life not to be. I have no idea whether or not there’s any *difference* — I haven’t noticed one myself. ;)Hubby did not have his son (now 34) circumcised, and he has never lacked for female companionship, or for male friends.Good luck with this one. I’m going to try to get hubby to throw in his two cents here as well, since he’s actually had to deal with this issue himself.WIP

  43. Anonymous says:

    >I went through this with my last pregnancy. Even though I didn’t find out the gender, we discussed it. I felt much like you do, that ultimately the final say would be up to my husband. Now for a little TMI.My husband is not circumcised. He was born in Vietnam and it just wasn’t done. His younger brothers were born here in America and are. So, maybe it is a cultural thing.I will say this, it’s not ‘icky’ (as I’ve heard) and it doesn’t stink. It does take a little extra care but in the grand scheme of things, that’s not such a big deal.My son is circumcised.Mrs X

  44. Anonymous says:

    >I’m sorry but after reading all the responses I had to add this:I have yet to see a penis that didn’t look pretty freakin’ weird. Mrs X

  45. Tony says:

    >Lynnster said:I just can’t even comprehend what it must have been like for that boy to know that every girl in school knew what his penis looked like, most without having seen it themselves.Every girl in school knew what every other boy’s penis looked like without having seen it. It’s just as easy to imagine a circumcised penis as it is an intact penis. The question is whether or not we teach our children that the judgment of others warrants surgical alteration. Before we’ve been judged, in the case of infants.

  46. Ryan says:

    >I have no regrets whatsoever about having my son circumsised. And although I’m now out of the baby-making business, I would make the same choice if it were so presented.I do take issue with those who equate it to mere mutilation for the sake of mutilation. I find very little in life offensive, but that stance tends to get me going a bit. From my perspective, it is a personal choice. And whatever you and your husband choose will be right. As an aside, I disagree with you and some of your commenters on leaving the decision entirely up to the father. I think in a partnership, it is of the utmost importance to be in agreement on something like this. That’s just the two cents of a single father. For what it’s worth.Best,Ryan

  47. Lynnster says:

    >Tony – granted, every girl in school knew what penises looked like, circumcised or uncircumcised, yes.Well, except the point is that in this particular Tennessee town, none of the girls would have necessarily known what an uncircumcised penis was without having looked it up in an encyclopedia. We knew because all the boys in school told all the girls what this young man’s uncircumcised penis looked like.And to be a 12, 13, 14 year old boy and know that the 12, 13, 14 year girls were all talking about and perhaps giggling (some of them did, though not to his face) his penis which was the only uncircumcised one around, for years – had to have been embarrassing at that age, dealing with junior high sexuality.That is my point, and the point also being that for the most part, in this part of the country, not being circumcised just generally is not done, and therefore most boys that aren’t will be set apart and considered different. It is, again, a cultural and societal thing – but that stuff has pretty big value in the mind of 12 and 13 year old kids.

  48. >I guess I should clarify that I think the father should make the final decision, provided the couple can generally be in agreement on it and have researched it and provided the father isn’t a total asshole. I feel comfortable with my husband having the final say, mostly because I’m torn and I feel like as the male in the family, he knows what’s best as far as that’s concerned. By the same token, if girls had to be circumcised, I would absolutely want the final say with my daughter, and would be outraged if my husband forced me to make a decision for her in that regard that was against my wishes.

  49. Anne Glamore says:

    >I’m a mom of 3 boys in the south, where it’s generally done in the hospital before discharge, and we did that as well.During the procedure the doc found an “anamoly” on one boys’ penis which we saw a urologist a couple of times for. I honestly can’t remember what the issue was, and it’s resolved now, but I don’t know that anyone would have been looking at his wanker that closely if he hadn’t been having the procedure done.As has been said, tho, there are risks and benefits to everything– that’s just what happened in our family!

  50. Anonymous says:

    >We adopted uncircumcised twin boys when they were six years old. I just checked with one 17-year-old, soccer-playing son about the locker room issue and he wasn’t even aware of circumcision. His response to circumcision, when I explained the snipping? “That’s weird, Mom.” Now a lot of little boys resist baths (true stereotype) so I had to deal with a minor infection of one son when he was about nine. It cleared easily with over-the-counter triple antibiotic cream. In the late 60s I discovered my finance was uncircumcised (highly unusual for that age cohort), but it didn’t gross me out and it did increase my sexual pleasure. I usually don’t post anonymously, but I am this time!

  51. Kellie says:

    >Def snip snip. I am not a mom, but I am def. a woman who has seena few penises. And trust me, not that you want to think about this, but SNIP.Even if 50% of guys be the time he is a teen are toting some hood, he’ll still be fashionable. Because that’s what it’s all about.SNIP

  52. SB says:

    >my dad didn’t get snipped until he was 18, and he said it hurt like hell. He made sure his own son was circumsised promptly after birth. I made sure my own son were snipped, too. Like many of your readers, I, too have never seen a man un-cut. Not to mention folds of skins that boys are unlikely to clean well.

  53. Anonymous says:

    >Hi, there, my husband is not circumcised, and we are both very, very glad. An uncircumcised penis is a sensitive, wonderful thing. Women who think an uncircumcised penis might be “icky” don’t know what they are missing. My seven year old son is not circumcised, either, and in our part of the country, he is in the majority. I think most educated parents are not circumcising these days, because “we’ve always done it that way” is not a good enough reason for surgery. If your son will be in the minority in your part of the country, well, then, he’ll be part of the movement for positive change. When change is needed, someone has got to go first. With your excellent writing skills and obvious intelligence, you could start something good in your area. Bottom line: The foreskin grows there for a purpose–let it stay there and do it. The rest of the world isn’t doing this to their infant sons because it’s not evidence-based surgery. It doesn’t make sense. It’s time for American parents to start a new cultural norm.

  54. Anonymous says:

    >I don’t know why I can’t sign in!!!!”I feel comfortable with my husband having the final say, mostly because I’m torn and I feel like as the male in the family, he knows what’s best as far as that’s concerned. By the same token, if girls had to be circumcised, I would absolutely want the final say with my daughter, and would be outraged if my husband forced me to make a decision for her in that regard that was against my wishes.”(I don’t mean any of this in a “flaming” way.)Why? Why is Hubs the better judge on what’s right for a child that’s a part of BOTH of you, just because it’s a boy? Why is Hubs better to make the final decision just because he was circ’d? He doesn’t know any better than you do what it’s like to be an uncirc’d male! By that argument, you could also say that when Baby was born, Hubs knew better than you did on what was right for your child, as he already had two daughters. Nevernomind that Baby was the daughter of BOTH of you, and your step-daughters had a *different* mother with a different personality and possibly different way of looking at things. No, even if Baby was Hubs’ third daughter and only your first, you were still her *mother*, and parenting her, making any major decisions was a partnership. Not left to you because you were the female or left to him because he already had two daughters. My point is, I don’t think you should just go with what Hubs thinks because he’s a man. I think that, just as with any other major family or parenting decision that (I hope) you make, you should look into both sides of it *together* and not let the onus of the “research” fall on you alone.I just realised that I’m assuming Hubs is circ’ed……..If Hubs IS circ’ed, a lot has changed both medically and socially since the time it was done. I think that the two of you should both research it, and have equal input – after all, he’s the son of BOTH of you, just as Baby is the daughter of both of you. In the end, the decision you make is the decision you make. But it should be made, in my opinion, equally from both of you.This is being written from a mother who has to struggle to get her ex-husband to “participate” in their daughters’ “big” decisions, as he now lives 1/2 way across the country, hardly sees them, but still has 50% legal custody. Also from a woman who’s fiancee is a much, much bigger part of her daughters’ lives than their father is. I know I could leave their father out of 99% of their lives, and make decisions based only on what’s going to work for my future family. But I don’t, because even if he doesn’t care, he’s still their father legally, and I need his signature on too many things as they are under 18. Meg

  55. >You did this on purpose, didn’t you?Now you’ve been pressed to the foreskin…er…forefront of ‘The Revolution’.I warned you about this.

  56. NYD says:

    >I am circumcised and I have friends who are not. Pesonally I like the idea of having a piece of my penis waiting for me in heaven.There are both good and bad points on either side of the pant leg.An uncircumcised penis is slightly more difficult to keep clean (something to think about as teens do not always have the most hygenic habits)And a circumsized penis may become slightly desensitized due to continued friction against clothing. Either way the kid is gonna enjoy his ding a lingPenis, penis? I never use the word penis. It sounds like something on the end of your foot. Like, Man I woke up this morning and stubbed my penis on the door…

  57. Erin says:

    >I was willing to keep an open mind about it when we found out we were having a boy, actually, fairly indifferent. So I left the decision up to my husband. DH didn’t think twice, “Absolutely!” So snip, we did. I think it was the best choice… as far as I can tell, it’s the norm around here and I think we spared him some trauma in middle and high school by making the decision. Currently pregnant again and if it’s another boy, he will also be snipped. I will warn you, it’s heartbreaking when the doctor comes to take him away for the procedure. Honestly? Didn’t seem to faze the baby though… he was fine when he came back.

  58. >Thanks for opening up a dialogue on this subject. (I posted something from a nurse’s perspective on my blog). Great post!

  59. Laura says:

    >i am a nicu rn so i have assisted in more than my fair hare of circumcisions. frankly, i hate them, even when the baby is anesticized.medically there is no hard and fast good reason. it is an elective procedure and trust me, given i see babies’ responses to pain all the time, it is painful period.i can also attest to the fact of the boys born into my 20 year old’s circle of friends as an infant and toddler, half were not circed. the average in the united states is a little less than 50% of boys born are not circed. nowadays many docs won’t do it and many insurances won’t cover it.having said all that, my husband (who is circed only becasue his mom agreed because it was the thing to do)and i never agreed on the circumcison decion which is probably why we ended up having 4 daughters. then came our son. he is intact for several reasons:he was born at 24 weeks gestation and in the 1st 4 months of life had 4 surgeries (he has had 9 total. his young life was filled with more pain than the average man could ever suvive, trust me. we honestly couldn’t see submitting him to more pain just so his penis would look like his dad’s#2 he has a mild hypospadies which means the urethra is a bit off center. it is generally recommended by urologists NOT to circumcize because of potential damage to the penis plus increased issues with the flow of the urine stream….even more potential locker room trauma.#3 he is adopted and the decision was not ours to make until age 1. why in the world would we do it then. so big deal his penis doesn’t look like daddy’s or half of his male peers. he’s in good company as his cousin is intact too.ultimately we realized just how silly the debate and all the arguments for really were.

  60. >Hubby voted in favor of the snip. I am in favor as well. I respect the beliefs and traditions of others — it is a tough decision.

  61. sista smiff says:

    >Last I checked, I don’t have a penis, however, I have two sons and a husband who do.Mr. Smiff was not circumcised until he was 6 years old. It was a bit traumatic for him and nobody will answer me as to why it wasn’t done when he was born. My father was not circumcised and I will never forget after my first son was born and my dad was in his last few weeks of life, dying of cancer, barely talking to anybody. He did ask if we had the boy circumcised and I said we did and he said “Good.” Take what you want from that story. I think a good thought on the thing too is if Dad is, the boy should be.

  62. cmhl says:

    >hub is snipped, and my son is also snipped. hub was adamant about it at the time, and honestly I didn’t really think about it either way.. SINCE then, I am more educated about it I suppose. DH went with ds when he had it done (still in hospital), and came back pale and visibly upset. would we do it again? I don’t know.

  63. Old MD Girl says:

    >I know you asked for men to weigh in but I couldn’t resist. Circumcision reduces the risk of STDs including HIV. But if they use condoms like good little young adults then it doesn’t matter whether they’re snipped or not from a disease perspective. Not that everybody does…..I’d get my sons done, even though I think my husband would vote no. As many people have said, though the risk of needing it done at a later age is small, it would be WAY more traumatizing to have it done as a 9 year old than as a 9 day old (or however old they are when it’s done in infancy).

  64. Bluepaintred says:

    >I sent you an email with our experiances of circumcisions. I put Circumcision debate ~ Bluepaintred in the subject line, I was worried that my POV would be ..pecked at so i emailed, after eading about ten comments, i see I should have put it in the comments after all, but hey, at least the email is spell checked lol.feel free , if you like, to copy and paste my email into comments :o)

  65. picklemom4 says:

    >I have 2 sons, ages 12 and 6. They are both circumsized as is my husband. While it is painful for the parents to have to see their baby in pain, it really only seems to bother the little guy for a short while. Heck, their whole world was just turned upside down anyway during birth and it’s nice that they won’t remember any of it.Also, how cool is it that they have a little Darth Vader helmet at the tip of their penis?!

  66. Tony says:

    >That “Darth Vader helmet” is a desensitized callous from years of keratinization. Some men do not find it cool.As to my circumcision, no, I don’t remember it, but I’m reminded of it every day. That’s especially useful when I factor in how much I loathe it.Let me ask a question that hasn’t appeared yet. This can be addressed to anyone who circumcised/will circumcised. If your son resents that you made his decision for him, what will you tell him?

  67. >We did not circumcise. Now friends of mine are having babies and not circumcising either. My son just turned 8 and we’ve never had a problem. It seemed like a totally unnecessary procedure, from the research we did.And besides, why remove all those fantastic nerve endings?If you want to chat about this, I’d be happy to answer any questions. I’m not a fanatic or anything, I just thoroughly research things before making a decision about them.

  68. Virginia says:

    >I say snip it – anything that gives men even more pleasure in the sexual arena is patently unfair and must go!Seriously, my husband made the decison and son was snipped at birth. Recently first grandchild was also snipped on the say-so of his father.

  69. Pageant Mom says:

    >Whatever you decide, I can’t imagine what difference it makes really… Either way, it’s all he’ll have grown up with so he won’t really know the difference will he? If 50% of boys have it and 50% don’t, I guess he can find some social circle that will accept him…. Personally, we chose to snip and it was no big deal.

  70. >From one of my girlfriend’s husband who was not snipped at birth:GET IT DONE! He had to have it done as an adult and it took ages to heal on top of ages of it hurting and infected and completely wiped out their love making for months. They were newly weds too to boot. How awful is that?

  71. Anonymous says:

    >What’s the rush?I’m a father of an uncircumcised boy who has two uncircumcised boy cousins. I have strong feelings about this, as I was circumcised “at birth”, and I don’t know of any good reason why. Why was I deprived of my birthright to keep my whole body the way God and/or nature intended it to be? Why has my level of sexual sensitivity and pleasure been diminished from the time of my birth? Or, at the VERY LEAST, why wasn’t I allowed to make such a personal decision which effects my entire lifetime, for myself? There’s no reason it has to be done to a newborn baby. It can be, and is done to adults as well. You don’t actually have to make this decision for him. My opinion is that it’s his body and his own choice, when he’s old enough to be informed on the issues.Most men don’t realize this. But if you’re circimcised “at birth”, your sex life is diminished, because an unhooded penis decreases in sensitivity and obviously, the way it functions is altered from the way it is supposed to function. The cultural reasons were originally based on religion. Then it just became a matter of routine. I didn’t want such a life altering decision to be based on a matter of routine because of someone elses religious beliefs. Female circumcision is practiced in various parts of the world for cultural reasons too. I’m not in favor of that either.80% of European men do not get circumcised and there is no data to indicate that it results in any differences in medically related matters.Why is it that baby boys have to be altered the minute they enter the world? “Welcome to life, now we’re going to cut the end of your penis off!… and for no real reason!”. At least, those who practice female circumcision can explain their reasons, no matter how barbaric they seem to us. And we might not like them but they are understandable. We can’t even do that much.An uncircumcised penis looks no different from a circumcised penis when erect. There’s no need to warn a new lover that it might look weird, because it won’t.Aside from allowing a person to keep his birthright by having a whole body, what are the other benefits of not circumcising? Boys who are NOT circumcised at birth have a higher threshold of pain. They simply handle pain better and with fewer tears. This is because their freshly developing nervous system hasn’t been assaulted the moment they were born. (There’s a huge difference between cutting the end of ones nerve ending charged genitals off and pin pricking a foot, ok insensitive ones?)Men who are uncircumcised are better equipped as lovers. That “skin” (actually. they remove more than just skin) serves some purposes which are beneficial to both the man and the woman. Some of the “problems” women commonly complain about can be blamed on circumcision. Some of the mismatch/differences between what gives a female pleasure and what gives a male pleasure, are caused by circumcision. Without getting into details, there are benefits for both partners. The natural male body was intended to interact with the female body in ways it cannot possibly do after it’s been so significantly altered. It works better. So why deprive him of that?When I was a little boy (~4) I saw an uncircumcised little boy, as we were peeing in the bushes. I asked him what happened to his penis? He actually set me straight. He told me, in so many words, it was I who had something happen to him, not him. And he laughed. The point is, his parents had prepared him and his feelings weren’t hurt at all. And there isn’t a child who doesn’t have to learn to deal with being made fun of. You aren’t going to protect him from having his feelings hurt by other children no matter what. Your job as a parent is to prepare him, not to shelter him. Did you know that there are men who are pursuing getting their circumcisions reversed? It can be done! And the fact that this is happening may indicate that it means a lot to some men. Although, most men are clueless about this very personal thing that was done to them.To the women who think it should be done because of how it looks, I’d say ok. But you first. I prefer how that looks.My overall position would be to wait and allow him to decide for himself, when he’s an adult. It’s his body. It belongs to him. And I don’t think anyone should have the right to surgically alter it for no good reason.What’s the rush?

  72. Carrie says:

    >I didn’t even know there was a debate until I moved to Sweden and found out they consider it very, very close to child abuse and will only do it under extreme religious circumstances. Since I’m married to a Swede, he is totally against it and our son is not circumsized. I don’t think that opinion helps you much since it is from a totally different culture.

  73. STL Mom says:

    >For another perspective on this decision, check out this article on the topic at

  74. >I’M AN “UNCUT” guy and DAD – posting “Anonymously” because this is freakin’ embarassing…AND I have an opinion about this–As a guy who grew up uncut, is still uncut, and still goes to the gym where 95% of dudes are “cut” – it’s a horrible experience. Only immigrant men are uncut. If I were in Europe, or Asia yeah I would be “normal” but here I’m a freak of nature who has to “hide” it as I did growuing up. When some guy did happen to see, it was pretty tough trying to make excuses about it. I figure it would be less-embarassing if I had 4 nipples and a tail.People, if you live in the US for God’s sake, get it cut. No matter what the “non-cut” crowd says about the numbers rising, in reality from life- it ain’t true.AND “The pain”…. keeping the thing clean is horrible enough and the pain of having sex is even worse (until the skin stretches which makes it tough to have sex the first, let’s see 10 or so years.) And my wife even got infections a few times because, although I keep it clean, it’s never clean enough.The wife and I had a girl, but if we get a boy on round 2, no doubt about it- he’s getting cut as a baby.And by the way- I have looked into getting it “normal” and the pain at this age would be more painful. I’ve gone to 3 specialists the last 8 years.I know I’ve just pissed off the whole hippie-crowd who thinks cutting it is akin to human-sacrifice (mainly hippie-moms) but please, we live in the US- in reality when 95% of dudes you encounter are cut, it’s pretty weird to be the freak. Don’t let yours sons be freaks (unless you live in some other country). it’s hard enough growing up, this is something not worth making a statement about.Oh, BTW- Did I mention I DON’T talk to my hippie-ass parents for doing this to me?! Yeah, they wanted to make a statement about being humane. I DON’T see this as being anything humane at all.

  75. Lena says:

    >I’ve seen one and it is not pretty. Do it!

  76. Lena says:

    >AH! I just read Anon’s comment above me. Let’s hear it for independent verification!

  77. Diana says:

    >Well, I didn’t read the first 74 replies so I’m sure I’m repeating here, but I asked my husband (who is cut) for you and he answered my question: “Honey, if we had a boy would you want him circumcised?” quite simply: “Hell yeah!” I asked why and this is what I got: “He wouldn’t remember the pain, and he wouldnt get teased about it being weird.” I guess that says it all. Like you, if we had a boy I’d leave it up to my husband for the final decision. Sure there are medical and scientific debates that surround this issue but they’re inconclusive at best (with the exception of the most recent which I’ll talk about in just a minute here) IMO it’s the equivilent of a Dad trying to decide if his daughter should use tampons or pads, what the hell does he know about it? Nothing, the same thing we know about the real-world experience of being cut (or not). As for those statistics I don’t know if it makes any difference to you or not but they’ve also recently released a study that shows that being cut reduces the risk of contracting HIV by up to 50%. We don’t like to think of our children as sexual beings but someday it will happen, so it may as well be a consideration. Good Luck on your decision, it’s certainly personal and very important. 🙂

  78. Anonymous says:

    >Check out this blogger’s very interesting post regarding circumcision. Both her and her husband are against it and has some very compelling reasons why.

  79. The Holmes says:

    >My apologies ahead of time in case I come across as a judgmental blowhard. I’m perfectly respectful of other people’s choices, but since you’re asking for male perspectives, I’ll give you mine. I am pretty firmly against circumcision. Myself, I’m circumcised, and while it’s never bothered me, when it came time to decide what we wanted to do for our son, my wife and I did a bit of research and found ourselves surprisingly against it. My wife now holds the view that the procedure is akin to female genital mutilation, and while I don’t completely agree with her, I also accept the fact that it’s hard to seperate from one’s cultural surroundings, so maybe I don’t agree because there are so many voices out there saying not only that it’s okay, but that it’s absolutely right. For me, I came at it from the point of view of asking why should I allow the procedure, rather than asking why we shouldn’t. Why should I consent to letting a piece of my son’s penis be removed? I wanted to see why, in this day and age, it’s still done. What it came down to for me was that most of the “scientific” reasons to circumcise are myths, everything from making the penis more hygienic to protecting against STD’s to the foreskin being useless. None of these really seem to hold water, and not only are they myths, but in some cases they’re disastrously wrong. As for the social reasons, whether it’s being worried about being different from his dad or the difference coming up in the locker room, these so-called pros just didn’t outweigh the cons in my mind. My personal view is that making a decision as huge as whether to chop a piece of skin off of the end of my son’s penis was not something I was going to make based on what everybody else was doing. What I think ultimately sealed the deal for us was finding out that the non-cultural “medical” reasons that it’s still done is based on an idea that developed in the 19th century that it would decrease the horrible practice then referred to in polite society as “self-abuse.” And I’m here to tell you, as a circumcised man who was once a circumcised teenage boy, that don’t work. It just don’t work.

  80. >It’s sad to say but there were a few guys I grew up with in Jr. High and High School who weren’t circumcised.Everybody knew, even the girls, because nearly everybody made fun of them.”Uncut Guy and Dad” comment made me shed a tear. I’d give you a man-hug (pat on the back) and tell you “dude, sorry man….”

  81. Stuntmother says:

    >Geez — I think I’ve only ever seen an uncircumcised penis once. Perhaps, as someone said, circumcision is more “normal” in the US but wow. No clue. It’s very interesting.I am mother of an uncut son and wife to an uncut husband. We never even thought about circumcising our child. It seemed (insofar as we thought about it at all which was only a teeny tiny bit) a completely unnecessary procedure. First, do no harm. The penis comes with a foreskin, possibly even for a reason.There are good reasons to have the procedure, and certainly people’s religious views ought to be respected, but it doesn’t strike me that peer pressure (or being the odd hatted penis man out) is a good reason. We’re all different and if one difference is that you’re not cut, so be it. Cultural norms, in my view, ought never be participated in without serious thought, instead of the other way around.good luck with your own choices.

  82. Butrfly4404 says:

    >Wow, I couldn’t even read them all!The Man said “Why?” then, “I didn’t have much choice.” He got it done on his son…”Yeah, why wouldn’t I?” Apparently, he doesn’t care as long as I let him play his video game. So…Urban Legend or “Icky Guy From High School” time:'s all I’m saying.

  83. Butrfly4404 says:

    >Wait, wait, wait….since when are “un-cut” penises INsensitive???

  84. adria says:

    >If we have a boy, he will be circumcised because his father is. And when I was in high school, there was 1 boy in our senior class (a class of 400+ students) who was NOT and he was the talk of the locker room – and it was not in a good way.

  85. Stacey says:

    >We didn’t even question whether to do it or not. It was just automatic for us to do it. I say, YES, YES, YES, and my husband is heartily agreeing with me. Our only real reasoning is that we wanted our son to ‘look’ like his Daddy. Familiarity, you know.

  86. Anonymous says:

    >A number of boy babies, or boys of cousins and friends of mine that I knew when they were babies, were circumcised and had nursing problems in those first few weeks, and at least one had eating problems that persisted. Because nursing is pleasurable, they might get chubby down there and if they have recently been cut there, and it is healing, it would be painful whenever they nursed/ate. Infancy is a time when trust is learned, and though those times may not be remembered, circumcision may explain a number of issues circumcised men have when they are older.Just to broaden the issue.

  87. TLC Tugger says:

    >Sorry, but there’s absolutely no reason to do it. 80% of the world’s men are happily intact. Evry mammal on earth has evolved a foreskin. If you don’t cut today, he can shoose to cut tomorrow. That’s the worst case. If you do cut, you have robbed him over half the sensual nerve endings he would ever have, taken away the protection to keep his glans and mucosal skin supple, and eliminated the chance he will ever knwo the awesome natural frictionless gliding action of the skin tube. That’s the best case. A slightly worse outcome is he hates your callously amputating guts. The worst case if you cut is that he gets the false impression that he’s immune to HIV and has unsafe sex and dies of AIDS (as have 450,000 other Amercian men who were cut at birth). HIS body, HIS decision.

  88. hectic mom says:

    >Socially – If you’re concerned about the number of kids in your area being snipped or not – ask the maternity ward nurses or your daughter’s ped. I’m sure they’ll tell you. You may be surprised.

  89. Anonymous says:

    >I can’t believe the freakin’ animals posting here that are so casual about cutting off part of someone’s genitals! There as many studies stating uncut guys are healhtier as the other way around. With the circ industry in the US at nearly a billion dollars per year (factoring in the procedure plus 0.26 extra days of maternity hospitalization on average), the pro-cutting studies always manage to get more press somehow. Nearly half of US boys are being left intact these days (way more in Western states). Your kids will despise you for making them mutilated freaks when they learn how wonderful the foreskin is:

  90. Lahdeedah says:

    >I think it’s good to let the father have the final say. I did that, too. It is a cultural norm, and while it’s changing, from all the statistics I could find two years ago,the vast majority are still opting for it. It is medically unnecessary, but so aren’t a lot of things.I’ve never actually seen an uncircumcised one. It’s more common in other countries I think to not have it done, but my hubby was very strong for staying within cultural norms and lets face it, cultural norms do play a huge part in how we live our life.

  91. Anonymous says:

    >so glad I never had a boy.I wouldn’t want to be cut

  92. Butrfly4404 says:

    >11:52 anonymous….Would you call the tribes in Africa, who perform painful, body-changing prodedures to be part of their cultural norm “animals.” Are you, perhaps, just intolerant of other people’s cultures? I didn’t hear anyone calling the Anti-Snips names.

  93. Karen Rani says:

    >Well anyone who read my post knows how I feel. I believe it should outlawed. It’s barbaric and unnecessary. In the past, we were given the wrong information and anyone who had their son circ’d then had no idea – just like smoking and pregnancy. Maybe that’s a bad example, but you get my drift.No health reasons are solid. None of them. Girls are difficult to clean too – do we snip them in North America? No, we teach them, as we should our boys.I’m not one of those extreme activist parents, but I do know what to do when actual facts are given to me.

  94. liz says:

    >It was my husband who was adamantly against. He has permanant scarring from his procedure and his father was intact…Our nephew’s intact, too.

  95. JML says:

    >I’m due to have a boy just a couple weeks after you, Lindsey. My husband is cut and so is our 4 year old son. One big thing for me is wondering how EITHER of my sons would feel if we don’t circumsize this one. Also, I guess I don’t really understand the studies saying that intact men have more sexual pleasure. How can you know that unless you’ve had sex with a foreskin AND without? It seems like only the men who’ve been circumsized as an adult would be able to answer that question.It’s a confusing subject for sure.

  96. Tony says:

    >Uncut Guy and Dad:And by the way- I have looked into getting it “normal” and the pain at this age would be more painful. I’ve gone to 3 specialists the last 8 years.Why would you assume that a boy would feel less pain than you? You’re not brave enough to have yourself circumcised because it would hurt, but you’re willing to force circumcision on a son? That’s a very convenient double standard.He’s going to feel pain, even if his genitals are numbed before the surgery. The healing time will exist, in which there will be an open wound. He will get erections, stretching the healed progress of the open wound. He will urinate and defecate in his diaper, which will come into contact with his open wound. He will feel pain, just as much as you will.On top of that, he will have no coping mechanism for understanding why he feels that way, unlike adults who can rationalize why something hurts. Choice has a funny way of helping.So, again, why is it too much for you to handle, yet an infant is better equipped? Because he won’t remember it? That’s silly, since that would justify all kinds of mistreatment of infants. He gets a hangnail, cut off his finger. He won’t remember it.Circumcision of non-consenting individuals for non-medical reasons is wrong. But if you’re going to impose it, have it done to yourself first. Then you’ll know.

  97. heather says:

    >My brother wasn’t circumcised and he had trouble with adhesions and experienced a lot of pain from that when he was little.That was the biggest reason we had both of our sons circumcised.

  98. JK says:

    >Wonderful post!I don’t have children yet, but my husband and his two brothers are NOT circumcised. My husband and I have had the discussion about circumcision should we have a son one day. My husband has never had any medical problems with his foreskin, and I have no complaints whatsoever. My husband actually believes guys with foreskins enjoy sex better because of the extra sensitivity of the foreskin. We have agreed that should we be blessed with a boy someday, we will NOT be having him circumcised. I know this is a decision every parent of a boy has to make for themselves, and I hope you’ll be able to find peace soon about whatever you decide. Just wanted to throw my two cents in.

  99. Marie says:

    >My sister really regrets that she had her (now 5-year old) son circumcised. She mentions this EVERY time she sees me change my uncirced son’s diaper.And a penis isn’t weird looking in its natural (uncirced) state. It’s all what you’re used to.(I already sent my husband over, but thought I’d add my 2 cents too…)

  100. Jana says:

    >Circumcision is, was and always has been done because of a religious and cultural rite–not out of medical necessity. We are the only country in the world that has routinely circumcised newborns and yet we still have the highest cancer rates in the world. My husband was circumcised, my son is not—we truly believe that God blessed us with a perfect baby—no nips or tucks needed!

  101. BabelBabe says:

    >i have three boys, all unsnipped. My husband’s choice. (He is snipped.) We worried a bit about teasing, but honestly, if it’s not that it will be something else. I am grateful every day that we did not circumcise; when the boys are old enough to have an opinion, I’ll let you know what they think : ). At the risk of offering TMI, I have slept with both snipped/unsnipped men and really, the foreskin or lack thereof was barely a blip on the radar.

  102. Kristen says:

    >Both my sons are circumcised. I heard all the same arguments against it and I struggled the same way, but ultimately, like you, I “caved” to the cultural pressure and went with the fact that my husband, their father, couldn’t really accept any of the anti-circumcision arguments. I agree that the dad’s opinion on this necessarily carries a lot, if not almost all of the weight – after all, they’ll have first-hand opinions, which we never could.

  103. Amanda says:

    >I had to do rounds with an Ob-gyn once. I saw a circ done. Most docs give a numbing agent. So don’t worry about that.It takes about 10 mins or less. They are a little fussy afterwards but not much.My advice I would talk to your Ob. You have to do what’s in heart.

  104. Jen says:

    >Wow there are alot of comments here….first of all this is one of my first times visiting your site….second of son is 13 months old..and I was terrified of this. They came and got him….he never cried….but it did bleed. That freaked me out…and I have a daughter so this was all NEW to me. It healed and pushing it back all the time was alot. I mean cleaning it is a pain…I went for his 1 year check up and it had trying to grow back a little..and the doctor snapped it back in the office and of course it bled and he cried from utter pain and so did I. Over all do it…snip it….I have heard horrible things if you dont…he will grow up and it will look weird to girls, and it will smell funky….anyway…snip it. He will never remember it. That is my advice…also another thing…my husband bathes him and checks out his “goods” to make sure everything looks right and works right…this way…I dont screw it up…good luck and let us know what you did….one day your son will look at this and realize his penis was an issue to over 100 people…..LOL!!!!!

  105. Jen says:

    >Wow there are alot of comments here….first of all this is one of my first times visiting your site….second of son is 13 months old..and I was terrified of this. They came and got him….he never cried….but it did bleed. That freaked me out…and I have a daughter so this was all NEW to me. It healed and pushing it back all the time was alot. I mean cleaning it is a pain…I went for his 1 year check up and it had trying to grow back a little..and the doctor snapped it back in the office and of course it bled and he cried from utter pain and so did I. Over all do it…snip it….I have heard horrible things if you dont…he will grow up and it will look weird to girls, and it will smell funky….anyway…snip it. He will never remember it. That is my advice…also another thing…my husband bathes him and checks out his “goods” to make sure everything looks right and works right…this way…I dont screw it up…good luck and let us know what you did….one day your son will look at this and realize his penis was an issue to over 100 people…..LOL!!!!!

  106. Anonymous says:

    >I am a circumcised man. I don’t ever recall looking or knowing if any of the other guys in my class were circumcised or not. We decided not to circumcise our son. I am not concerned that he dosen’t look like me or that he will be ridiculed. I really can’t imagine it even being an issue. I will tell my son that if any boy questions why his penis is different to respond by asking why are you even lookin at my dick? If he decides when he is older he would like it done he can do it with the proper anesthesia and medical advise.

  107. George says:

    >I have not bothered to read all the comments … too many. I am a circumcised male and wouldn’t want it any other way. My ex wife and I were together for 17 years and when our son was born he was circumcised. His mother had had several partners before me, som snipped, some not. Her opinion was that it was easier to take care of and looked nicer and healthier than an uncut penis. As far as feelings go, what sex felt like was the same for both cut and uncut.I go to the gym 6 days a week and you notice the other men when changing, in the steam or sauna … I would say that well over half of the men are circumcised.As far as a circumcised penis becomes more sensitive … get real folks … boys wear underwear and I cannot remember a time when it was swaying back and forth and became chafed … boxers or briefs … it stays in place.Now that you have 100+ comments I am sure it will not make your not the hubs decision eany easier, especially when they are as divided as 2 warring factions.Be well.

  108. >My Oldest Son slept through his. Not so traumatic, apparently.I know this because I was nervous and concerned and was asking a lot of questions. Sure, I’m snipped, too, but I was a newborn and can hardly be expected to remember. My other sons were snipped in turn.The doctor who did the honors for Oldest Son was Jewish and he had a son a little older than mine, so I asked… did he do the honors on his son himself or wait for the bris?You think christenings are stressful? Imagine hiring the mohel for the occasion… and the family is present.The doc told me he had a mohel do it. He was a little nervous when the man asked for a little sip of wine beforehand… he gave one to the mohel, took two himself … and he was a little more nervous at what he perceived as a gigantic ritual knife used in the ceremony… but it all went fine.The comments seem — generally — to support my impression that it is still the norm. I wouldn’t worry too much more about it….

  109. Amy T says:

    >Lindsay – do a Google search for “circumcision procedure” and then look at the photos and illustrations of the various methods used. I must say – I was on the fence about this issue until you raised it. I am not squeamish. And I actually got light headed looking at this information. It’s so important to be fully informed on exactly what will be happening in that room if you go the snipping route. Make sure Hubs looks at the visuals, too. Good luck.

  110. Jennifer says:

    >My husband is European and Europeans are generally only circumcised for religious reasons or if it is necessary for medical purposes, so it was never an issue for us. No snip. It never even came up at the hospital when my son was born. In response to your post, my husband also says that he would imagine that there would be less sensation in an uncircumcised penis, but that is not based on medical evidence. It is just what he thinks. He says that alone is reason to not circumcise.

  111. Poppy Buxom says:

    >We have a son. He’s intact. My husband had no opinion on the matter, but I had been to a Bris and thought it was disgusting. Then some friends had a baby boy a few months before we did and he had to have his circumcision redone. And I thought, “my son is not a Great Dane. I’m not going to have him snipped to be ‘prettier.'” I mean … it’s a penis. It’s not going to be posing for a portrait any time soon.

  112. annie says:

    >As a woman, I prefer them circumcised, and I know many women who feel the same way.Most men I have “Known” are circumcised.My son’s father also wanted him circumcised and I thought it was a good idea, so he wouldn’t be “different”.I don’t think it’s medically necessary but who are the medical profession to dictate our cultural or religious beliefs? I’m not at all impressed with the medical profession and all their illogical practices and scare tactics.So to sum it up, there are lots of reasons I had my son circumcised. His father wanted it, I prefer it, and I didn’t want my son to feel “different”.And I don’t care what the rest of the world does, it seems to be the norm in the United States and that’s where I live.

  113. >You guys have been wonderfully civil (besides the “animals” guy, who was slightly over the edge) and I was especially impressed that TLC Tugger managed to keep his cool.This has become a great place to come and gather information on both sides, without feeling attacked by people with different opinions. Thank you for that.

  114. d34dpuppy says:

    >there is no reason 2 do that 2 a baby unless ur jewish,then the rabbi does the bris. that is a cultural/religious thing i dunno how it got the popular thing over here. if you read studyies it says u lose a lot of sensation when u have it done 2 u

  115. Masked Mom says:

    >My husband and all three of my sons are uncircumcised. It has not yet been an issue for any of them.(Medically at least. I have my doubts about whether my teenage sons would share any emotional or psychological discomfort, but I’m hopeful that because it hasn’t come up, it hasn’t been too much of an issue.)I think we all get a little wrapped up in seeing someone else’s choice as a judgement of our own choice: If you decide not to do it, it’s a comment on my decision to do it. Despite all the bluster and insistence that our way is the only way, I think what lies at the core of these raging battles between parents (work/SAHM, breast/bottle, snip/not), is a deep insecurity and uncertainty on each side.Ultimately, like so much of parenting, I think it comes down to making a choice in good faith and hoping that whichever way you go you don’t scar your kid (emotionally or otherwise) for life. As the comments here from/about both circumcised and uncircumcised men clearly show, there’s no way of predicting every possible outcome or side effect from either decision so, once you’ve done all the research, you just kinda have to cross your fingers and pick one. (Oh, and blog about it–don’t forget to blog about it.)

  116. kristi says:

    >Wow, I wish my husband weren’t in Iraq right now, or I’d ask him to write you. He is very glad he was never circumcised. We’ve been married for almost ten years, and even I can tell you that the foreskin is a very sensitive and useful part of sex. My husband cringes not just at the thought of the scalpel, but at the feeling and function he would have lost. He never once had any teammate or friend make a comment about his being “different,” and he was always an athlete in school. And he has three brothers, all also uncircumcised. So lucky for me, it was a no-brainer when my baby boy was born.

  117. My float says:

    >When my son was born three years ago, I researched the subject extensively. Of course I was petrified of making the “wrong” decision. Would he be healthy if he was circumcised/uncircumcised? Would he be ostracised? Be teased? Be eternally resentful of me if I decided for it/against it?In the end, I thought about my own experience. Two of my boyfriends had been circumcised. One man was very happy with it, and the other was very unhappy. Which I guess sums up the argument here – you can never tell how things will pan out. And health-issues can happen to both types of men. The thing that swayed me is that I figured that if someone’s self-esteem hinges on a scrap of skin at the end of their willy – then there’s a problem that’s far greater than can ever be solved by circumcision. In the end, I decided against having him circumcised. I just felt it was right for my family. Perhaps if I lived in a different society where circumcision was far more common, then maybe I would have made a different decision. I know my decision doesn’t work for everyone – and it shouldn’t. To each, their own.

  118. carrie says:

    >I am not afraid to admit that being female, I felt more comfortable turning to my husband’s life experience when we were making this decision for our sons. If I hadn’t had a husband, I would’ve asked my Dad, or Brother just as easily. And just so you know, it is NOT that common in the western states (we live very near Seattle, WA) not to circumcize your son. And I’ve changed many a diaper, believe me. It is such a private decision, and this information is all very interesting, but it really comes down to you. Be informed, make your decision, and don’t let others make you feel bad either way.Good Luck!Carrie

  119. Ashley says:

    >Hi there. First time visiting your blog. I am a mom and a step-mom too. My husband and step-son are both circumsised. So when I got pregnant with a boy I assumed that we would circumsise him too. Well, when he was born I just couldn’t imagine cutting a piece of his perfect little body off. My husband had been all for it. He wanted both his boys to look just like him. Then I asked him if he remembered his dad’s penis, and he said no. He changed his stance on that. So my son kept his foreskin. And after 10 months, his big brother still has not noticed a difference in thier weenies. I am just wondering where the idea that uncut penises are so much harder to clean? Aren’t little girls with all the folds and rolls hard too???

  120. B.E.C.K. says:

    >When I learned I was pregnant, I pretty much told my son’s dad that if the baby were a boy, we wouldn’t have him circumcised and he agreed. A close friend had already done the research and chosen not to have her son circumcised, and he’d never had any problems with it. I researched it and also found no compelling evidence to have the procedure done. A previous partner and his son were uncircumcised and reported no problems with cleanliness or social acceptance. I personally found the uncirc’d look (adult — I didn’t go checking out the kids) very sexy and natural, and not weird at all. Anyway, my son is *not* circ’d and he’s doing great. Cleanliness isn’t an issue as long as one bathes; it’s as simple as that. Most boys play with themselves in the bath anyway, so everything gets clean just fine. His dad is circ’d, but my son has never mentioned the difference between them. Totally a non-issue. I think maybe twice in his life (he’s turning six) my son had a slight irritation on his penis, but a dab of Neosporin fixed that. I can’t help but compare that to the maintainance of a newly circ’d penis; uncirc’d is much less trouble.

  121. Tony says:

    >Annie:No one is reading comments anymore, just posting their own, but I’m going to respond to what you said anyway.I don’t think it’s medically necessary but who are the medical profession to dictate our cultural or religious beliefs? I’m not at all impressed with the medical profession and all their illogical practices and scare tactics.Fair enough. The medical profession is wrong in promoting the scare tactics, most recently about HIV. Safe sex. Would we encourage circumcised men to stop using condoms if they’re sleeping with an HIV+ woman? No. For every medical excuse to circumcise, there’s a better, less-invasive alternative. Sorta the approach we take with girls.But you are buying into fear, even if it’s not medical.So to sum it up, there are lots of reasons I had my son circumcised. His father wanted it, I prefer it, and I didn’t want my son to feel “different”.I’ll skip the first bold and go to the “different” comment. That’s fear. Fearing that he’ll be teased. (He’ll be teased anyway.) Fearing that he won’t have good self-esteem with a foreskin. (He can get cut later.) You’re assuming worst-case scenarios if you don’t follow the cultural norm.And then there’s the greatest, most irrational fear. You state that you prefer it, but I find this unacceptable. Are you really saying that your opinion on the sexual aesthetics of your son’s genitals is a valid reason to cut his foreskin off? I don’t for a moment believe you intend to have sex with your son, so your decision is absurd.The sexual aesthetics should be up to your son. If he wants to include his partner(s) in the decision, fine, but they’re the only people who should decide. What if his partner prefers intact? My girlfriend would accept me intact, and I’ve already said I wish I were intact. But my parents made that decision for me, and by extension her. That is tragic folly.I accept that most American men prefer being circumcised, but that’s cultural conditioning. How many times can you hear your parents say it’s better, and in your best interest, and still come away knowing that circumcision is a barbaric cultural practice? I only realized it based on experience. I suffer the complications of a normal American circumcision every day of my life. This is madness, and it was no one’s right to decide but mine.

  122. Anonymous says:

    >I am an intact dad of 4 intact boys. I`ve also been in the medical field and know that doctors and nurses hate doing circumcisions and wonder why parents still insist on having it done. When we didn`t do it, doctors came in and thanked us for having to do one less circ that day. A few hospitals near us (DC)are stopping routine infant circ completely, one is a huge Navy hospital.3 things to think about;1. It doesn`t look like daddy anymore. The new circs are done “loosely”, to leave as much foreskin as possible because of the known lack of sensitivity with no frenulum or mucosa left. Its important to know your foreskin anatomy when pondering this decision–too few know that the foreskin is adhered to the glans with the same substance that keeps fingernails on—it loosens and retracts anytime in childhood. In an infant circ, the foreskin is ripped off and then sliced off, its not a simple snip. All of the pain meds given help with only the pain on ther outside, and the baby experiences a crushing pain and ripping on the inside, on an area with more nerve endings than the lips. So… the new circs preserve more frenulum and don`t leave as big of a scar on the shaft, like in previous generations. The problem is the new circs are more likely to cause adhesions, skin tags, phimosis & buried penis. 2.The locker room is not an issue anymore. The rates are 50% and dropping. Very few locker rooms involve full nudity in public schools. There is still more fun to be made of the boy caught looking than the boy with the whole package.3. The complication rate is now 10% for the above complications and meatal stenosis and bleeding problems too. Why put a child through the trauma of surgery when he`s so new and helpless when its taking such a chance? All of the “benefits” of circ are outweighed by the risks. Any basic look at the numbers will show this, every 10 years another reason is pushed to keep it going, it is a business, hospitals make more money when they do at least one circ a day. Circed men still get UTI`s, HPV & HIV. It is not a cure. The US has one of the highest rates of AIDS in the world and we have a majority circed adult population. Sweden, where circ is unheard of, has one of the lowest AIDS rates, maybe having a foreskin is better protection?I appreciate that you`re keeping your mind open about this decision. I can understand leaving it up your husband, but… asking a circed man about havig a foreskin is like asking a deaf man if he`d like a hearing child. Or if breast implants became the norm and all women had them in the US, but your husband wanted your daughter the way God made her, wouldn`t he have some say, or would it only be the woman`s decision? Its just different. I think both parents should weigh in and also remember a mother`s instinct to protect her baby from pain.

  123. Anonymous says:

    >Well, I have a daughter, so I can’t comment as a parent, but where we’re from (the midwest) it seems to be the cultural norm. It seems that most all boys are circumsised. Now, I don’t know if that’s enough of a reason for you to have it done, but I did have a boyfriend several years ago who was not snipped until he was an adult (neither were his five brothers, and they opted to stay unsnipped) but he had it done while in the military (for hygiene reasons) and said the procedure wasn’t that bad. On a personal level – I definitely think I would have it done if I had a son.

  124. >My husband and I made the decision not to circumcise if we had a boy. We didn’t have to make the decision because we had two girls. A good girl friend of mine had a son around the same time I had my daughter. She wanted to circumcize; her husband did not. They chose not to and haven’t regretted it once. Honestly, I don’t buy the anesthesia is worse than the procedure thing. I saw it being done to a little boy in the nursery when my daughter was born and I heard him. Not pretty. I wouldn’t do it personally, but it’s an individual decision. Good luck-it’s a tough one.

  125. Renée says:

    >It disgusts me that we still view circumcision as a societal norm. Why are we surgically removing a part of the male human body when he was born perfectly naturally with it intact? Cleanliness? Aesthetics? Fear of something we don’t fully understand? Would you have removed your daughter’s inner labia for any of these reasons? We are still one of the only countries in this world that view such brutality as normal. And we call ourselves civilized…. Lindsay, please don’t circumcise your son.

  126. caroline says:

    >You know, it kills me that there are so many parents out there who are concerned with their sons’ sexual pleasure/experiences when many of these poor kids don’t even know what it is!!! It just seems weird to me. I mean, when your son asks why you decided to circ, are you really going to say “well, I wanted you to have better sex, honey!” I doubt it! Do you or did you want your parents thinking about this stuff when you were a baby??? I certainly didn’t! My son is 2 and I didn’t do it. His dad is, and when I asked him what he thought, he said “I don’t know what it’s like to not have one, so I can’t say. I just don’t know why we would.” So, we didn’t.My question surrounding the whole hygiene thing is, you’re going to teach any of your children to keep clean, aren’t you? You’ll make sure your daughter knows how to keep her genitals clean, right? And if she doesn’t, well, she’ll pay the price. Can you not extend the same to your son, circumcised or not? Of course you will! Your a good and loving mom who will go to any length to make sure her children know how to be responsible in ALL aspects of their lives! If my son gets mad that he wasn’t later on, well, he can go do it! His penis doesn’t belong to me and I feel that this is, ultimately HIS decision to make, especially if it isn’t a safety issue. Yeah, maybe it’ll hurt like hell if he wants to get it done later, but again, that’s HIS decision to make either way–no one will force him to do it. You can’t take back a circumcision, you know? Plus, I do know someone who had triplets and one of the boys’ snips got botched–that thought scared the shit out of me! I know it’s tough! You’re such a good mommy, though, from all I’ve read about you, and you will make the right decision!

  127. annie says:

    >TONY-That’s DISGUSTING and RUDE and RIDICULOUS of you to pick apart my comment like that!I thought of editing that “I prefer circumcision” but any reasonable person who isn’t ANAL-RETENTIVE like yourself, would understand what I was saying, that I was talking about men in general. Yes, men, that I had slept with!Also, considering that I reasonably expected that my son would NOT be giving blow-jobs, either, (OK pick that apart and say I’m “homophobic” whatever) yes, I think a woman can have input into the sexual aesthetics of an uncircumcised penis. AGAIN, I’m talking about how I, and MANY OTHER WOMEN I know, prefer MEN IN GENERAL, not my own son.And I was the one there in the room with him when it was done. He cried less than when he was weighed or measured or given booster shots.And he’s a big boy now. Although we haven’t discussed it, he has not came at me in anger asking why I disfigured him.And you forgot to PICK APART my first statement, “HIS FATHER WANTED IT.” I figured, he’s a man, he would know more about it than me. That was a big part of my decision.

  128. Tony says:

    >Annie:How so? I clearly stated that I don’t think you have sexual intentions with your son that lead you to prefer your son’s penis cut. I just find it strange that you ignored what he might prefer. That might be anal retentive, but that’s why your preference, which you stated as a reason you circumcised your son, is irrelevant to the decision of what you should’ve done with his foreskin.You’re right, your son’s partner(s), regardless of gender, are entitled to an opinion of how they’d prefer your son’s penis. But the decision is his alone, just like I assume you wouldn’t give a daughter breast implants if your husband prefers larger breasts, or because our society promotes larger breasts as the ideal. The person who owns the foreskin (or “too small” breasts) is the only person who gets the final decision on the matter. Your son’s partner(s) do not have the right to force him to get circumcised. Nor do you because you can’t know what he’ll prefer. You’ve decided for him what he should prefer.Also, in my reply to you, I stated that my girlfriend would prefer that I had been left intact. We’re both out of luck, thanks to my parents, who I’m sure used reasoning just like yours. What if your son comes around to my viewpoint over time? If so, he’s out of luck, too, because you generalized how his body should look based on your preferences or your theory of his preferences.The difference here is simple. If you leave him intact, and he and/or his partner(s) are happy with it, nothing needs to be done. If you circumcise him, and he and/or his partner(s) are happy with it, nothing needs to be done. If you leave a boy intact, and he and/or his partner(s) aren’t happy with it, something can be done. If you circumcise him, and he and/or his partner(s) aren’t happy with it, nothing can be done.Given these four scenarios, one of them has a glaring hole that demands we not circumcise children for our own whims. We do not own our children. Their bodies belong to them. We must make decisions for them based on need alone. Circumcision is a surgery, with risks and complications. Like every other surgery on children, it should not be performed until there is a clear medical need. Preferences, whims, and conformity are not medical needs.I didn’t forget to pick apart your husband’s viewpoint; I chose to ignore it. I could say that it’s because men are conditioned even more than women to think that circumcision is no big deal. The penis is the most representative part of manhood in our culture, so whatever he has must be right. Essentially, “what, me damaged?” I could’ve said that and I think I’d have been accurate. And I’m not surprised that your son hasn’t complained. Most men don’t. So what? The two previous paragraphs explain why that’s of no value in the discussion.But I didn’t address your husband’s wishes because I wasn’t speaking to him. You commented, so I prefer responding to someone directly. If he wants to discuss it with me, I’d be happy to debate cultural conditioning and how we can’t assume that, just because one person likes something, everyone will.I don’t particularly care whether my father liked his circumcision or not, which leads to the “look like daddy” argument. My father died when I was 3. I have exactly one memory of him and it’s not of his penis. So, do I care what his penis looked like, or that I could’ve been different? No. My body is all I can know. Unfortunately, I can only know it in its circumcised state.

  129. annie says:

    >TONY_And with your attitude, I bet you know your Hand very well, too.

  130. Kathy says:

    >My husband, age 80, was NOT circumcised. We’ve been married 25 years and in the first 20 of those he had maybe two or three yeast type problems. He’s been incontinent for the last five years (stroke) and every month I refill the prescription for econozole (yeast cream). His brother(now age 83) was circumcised in his 60’s and he has regretted it ever since – he said when they snipped the tip they also snipped some important nerves.

  131. Izzy says:

    >Oh my! Can we say HOT BUTTON ISSUE?!!!If you do decide to circumcise, the Plastibell is a non-surgical method of circumcision and is virtually painless because it doesn’t actually cut the skin.

  132. Anonymous says:

    >Annie, Tony…..I’m not Lindsay, but can I call a time-out? I’ll make no bones that I agree with Tony, BUT…..Annie – He was making a valid point that clearly separated *your* preferences from your son’s future partner’s preferences.What was socially “normal” when you married your husband will probably not be socially “normal” when your son marries. I’d personally like to see how you’d back this up:”I’m not at all impressed with the medical profession and all their illogical practices and scare tactics.”I’ve 2 daughters. Both natural births. One born with nurse-midwives only, in a hospital and one born with an OB, midwife attending, in a hospital. The number of forms I had to sign to give me the right to a natural birth (unless either I or my daughter’s life were in danger) were countless. I’d call that a scare tactic. To sign forms, with doctors and nurses (with #2) urging me not to, that said under no circumstance did I want suction or forceps used in delivery – scare tactics. To sign other forms, waiving my rights to drugs unless an emergency c-section was needed, and to have nurses telling me over and over again that I might change my mind, I might *need* them – scare tactics. To have my midwife be right about my due date, and my OB ignore her to simply rely on ultrasounds, being FOUR WEEKS off the mark, having my daughter born blue as the cord wrapped around her neck and seeing my calcium covered, crusty, shrunken placenta. Well, that was really terrifying. I’d like to know what “scare tactics” are used by those who don’t like circumcision. Everything I’ve experienced, and everything other mothers who’ve used certified nurse-midwifes, with or without Douala’s, have experienced, has been nothing but natural, informed, and pressure-free. Had I had my second daughter in the same facility, with the same techniques as my first, she’d have been induced (yes! it’s not forsaking ALL technology!) 2 weeks earlier, with a healthier placenta and less of a chance of cord wrap, as I’d have been given a series of drugs to prepare me better than typical-hospital-induction. I was never “scared”. I was given all the information of both sides of every decision I had to face/make. I was given control of my pregnancy, childbirth experience, feeding choice, length of hospital stay and even immunizations and newborn testing.I had natural, healthy pregnancies, with few invasive procedures. I had one totally natural birth, and one induced birth. Both pain-killer free. I had one baby totally healthy, and another that needed immediate care. I breastfed both. I immunized both. I tested both. A perfect mix, in my opinion, of “granola” and traditional. So, yeah, I’d like to know what scare tactics are involved in the circ debate. ‘Cause I educated myself on it before I knew the sex of my daughters, I asked my midwives and OB about it both times, and I was never pressured either way. And I live in Milwaukee, WI. A “traditional”, blue-collar (albeit Democratic) town if there ever was one. If you’d prefer emailing me off Lindsay’s comments, feel free. I still can’t figure out why I can’t log in, so you can contact me at celticmeg(at)gmail(dot)com.That goes for anyone. ;)Meg

  133. Shannon says:

    >i am the wife of a snipped man. my brothers are snipped, my dad is snipped – Dh has one brother who is unsnipped. Dh and I decided to leave all 4 of our boys UNSNIPPED. Now we do live on the west coast where it is more the norm to be unsnipped. Dh couldnt remember ever having discussions even with his own brother about the differences so he didnt think that would come into play with the boys. We couldnt think of a reason TO do it and there were reasons NOT to do it. Dh has agreed to take on any cleanliness talks. Interesting sidenote – my bys have tight foreskins. even at 8 one of my DS is still attached. His pediatrician said “Dont worry about it, by the time he gets to Junior high and begins masturbating he’ll take care of that himself!” Not really the image I needed in my mind… but obviously my ped (and the two before him) are all anti-snipping. I was plannign onleaving the final decisino to DH but he said I hadmore strong views on anti circing then he had an opinion on it at all so he was perfectly fine with going the anti circ route.

  134. Laura says:

    >Did about 85% of all of you miss that this question was directed to MEN?I’m not going to put in my opinion, since I’m a woman, and don’t have a penis, but I’d like to point out that MOST of the men who have commented (though not all, I know) have spoken in favor of the intact foreskin. Most of the women have spoken in favor of snipping.I feel that it’s important that someone points that out. I’ll let my husband, who DOES have a penis, speak his mind in his own comment.

  135. Busy Mom says:

    >*gets refill of popcorn and sits back down*Heh, secret word is “smenita”

  136. Anonymous says:

    >As a 24 year old uncircumcised guy, I’d like to comment on a few things.It’s easier to keep a circumcised penis clean. But, I have no problems – and I wash every day. Why not use it as another reason to encourage your boys to make sure they bathe regularly, and take care of themselves? And how hard is it to wash under a foreskin? It takes less than 5 seconds. It’s a question of preventative medicine, yes. But how far do you go, to lower an already low risk? It’s true that intact guys do have to be more careful with their hygiene down there. But, how is that a bad thing? On the NIH website they say that intact males may have a higher risk of contracting AIDS – so be more careful! That’s what we should be doing anyway, regardless. In fact, I think that it’s dangerous to say that one is at less of a risk of STDs if they’re circumcised. Why? Because we all know that sex is a taboo subject, and most kids learn about it from their friends before their parents – some parents never talk about anything related to sex with their kids. When a piece of information gets passed between a legion of curious 13 year olds, it’s bound to get altered. What if it turns into “you can’t get AIDS if you’re circumcised”? Then some poor kid goes and has unprotected sex, the worst happens, and he gets HIV, or gives it to someone else. Speaking of drastically modified facts…one of the first comments says that “it’s been discovered that circumcized (sic) men are 50% less likely to be infected with HIV”. If that was true, believe me, every doctor and health organization would be recommending it left and right – and they’re not. Please don’t make outlandish statements without backing them up. Regarding teasing and desirability – I was never teased about my “intactness”, or whatever you want to call it. I’ve never been teased about having a foreskin, and while two of my partners (including my wife!) have told me that at first they “didn’t know what to do with it”, there was no problem at all. If there’s any substance to a relationship, both partners should be able to get over the circumcision problem relatively easy. Otherwise, maybe there’s not as much to the relationship as was thought?I would much rather have been teased in the locker room, knowing that my parents believed that I could deal with it and not let it traumatize me, rather than having them decide to cut off my foreskin just to save me the potential embarrassment. In fact, I would be quite angry if I knew that my parents wanted to make me look the same as everyone else, just because that’s what other people do. The following is part of the American Academy of Pediatrics’ policy statement on circumcision:(”Existing scientific evidence demonstrates potential medical benefits of newborn male circumcision; however, these data are not sufficient to recommend routine neonatal circumcision.”If there’s insufficient data to recommend routine circumcision due to medical reasons, what I’m worried about is parents’ circumcising their boys because they want them to look normal, or because it’s “just better”. Make your own decision, but consider that “normal” isn’t always better.

  137. Anonymous says:

    >Its an interesting debate, I’m English and for me it seems strange that there is such a debate in the US about this. In England most men aren’t circumcised and its still considered to be a religious thing if its done at all. My current boyfriend is american and circumcised I was really suprised when we first got that naked moment!

  138. Anonymous says:

    >You asked for comments from the fathers, so I will give my husband’s perspective. I am doing it anonymously though, so as not to embarrass him. My husband, who was born in 1971, was a wrestler and on the football team in high school. He grew up in the suburbs of Chicago, and has last two years of high school were spent in a *tiny* farming town in Iowa. He went to college and was in a fraternity in Laramie, Wyoming.I was a virgin when I met him, and had no clue about penises (penii?). I did all the granola-mom research and told him I didn’t want our baby circumcised. He said that was fine, because he wasn’t circumcised either. I didn’t know the difference, but once I did some more research, I had to inform my 30-year old husband that he was indeed completely and totally circumcised. This means one of several things. 1) in all his locker room experience, he had never come across an intact guy, or 2) they didn’t really compare or make a big deal of it. For the sake of my argument looking good, I am hoping it is #2. It is hard for me to believe that living in three different places, he would have *never* been in the same locker room with an intact guy. Regardless, I think that preventing teasing is a poor reason for doing something like circumcision. It would be better to teach children to stand up for themselves and have some self-respect and self-esteem.Anyway, we did not have either of our sons circumcised, and do not plan to do it for future sons. My older son’s foreskin seems to adhered to itself, but it is not painful during his little-boy erections, and he can still pee. Even if it requires surgery, that would not change my views on infant circumcision. My son is old enough now to request appropriate pain relief if he has to have surgery. I have read the accounts of babies doing just fine during circumcisions. I have also read accounts of babies passing out from the shock and pain. Their parents choose to believe they did ‘just fine’, but in reality, it was so bad that their bodies couldn’t stay conscious. Then of course there are many in between, who cry a little and are done. I am sure that it is not too traumatic for some babies, but I don’t think it’s worth it to test on my kid.

  139. Michael T says:

    >I’m a guy and I’m a dad and was circ’d at birth without even my parents’ consent (as custom in the 70s). I am fine and happy and have always had a great sex life, but my wife and I chose to leave our son intact. He was perfect the way he was born and the way nature intended. There are no medical reasons to do it, 85% of men in the world are intact and have no problems, I don’t give a flip if his penis looks like mine and it won’t be comparable in family pictures anyway..and I won’t have my healthy son undergo painful elective surgery, than have his fresh wound sit in crap and piss fora week while it heals to appease some asshole bully in 8th grade (and why would he be looking at his penis anyway!?!) That’s the stupidest thing I have ever heard. I went to an all-boy school growing up andyes, most penises were cut back then, but there were some intact ones and I NEVER heard of anyone teasing or talking about some other guy’s penis. THAT’s some grounds for ridule!I am glad my wife felt as strongly about it as me and didn’t take the pussy way out and ‘let the one with the penis decide’ (well, I wouldn’t have married her, I’m not fond of wimps!).I think I’d rather answer the question “Why did you leave my body intact?” instead of “Why did you cut a perfectly healthy part of my dick?! “

  140. Enlightened says:

    >I just read that girls get more STDs than both cut and uncut boys and that there was a study done in Africa that proved that circ’d girls there had less STDs AND less HIV!!! In light of that, I definitely think circumcision is good for both boys and especially girls, you never know who they will endup sleeping with!

  141. >”When people are mutilated, it is criminal, not cultural”

  142. mum says:

    >I just have a few things to add.Firstly, i am a woman..but my two brothers are intact. They are 15 and 20 years old.When i asked them about their experiences…basically they both said that you would be beat up if you were caught looking at some other geys crotch in the bathroom or locker room. It’s just not to be done. They both have come across no harsh words or anything about their intact status. My 20 yo brother has had many partners, that i know of…and he seems to be doing okay in that area.15yo brother goes to military academy and basically said the same about bathroom and locker room situations. He has no shortage of girlfriends either.That said, when i had dd1 in the hospital, dh was there and we had a woman next to us who had a son. She had him circd and my dh was within earshot. That scream, he says, still stays with him enough that he knows that will never be done to any of his boys…even though he is cut. He said he doesn’t even need to see the research. He said he doesn’t want society or anyone else dictating(lol, sorry) what is done with his future sons penis. Basically, no bodys penis looks exactly the same, so who cares?Lots of luck, i kope you let your son make this decision for himself someday.

  143. diane s says:

    >wow, such a cultural divide – only Jewish boys are circumcised here, and we don’t have a large Jewish community in the UK so it’s a minority of people. Certainly wouldn’t be considered not sexually desirable or odd here! x

  144. Anonymous says:

    >I dont see what the big deal is with the locker room incident. As far as I know, I just graduated high school, there was no locker room incident. No one gets made fun of for not being circumcised.In fact if your looking your considered gay. I didn’t. As far as an american custom, I dont see it as one. MY three closest friends are not circumcised. Infact one of them likes to speak up against circumcision. I dont really see it as a custom, it is totally an unnessary procedure. I’m not circ, my three best friends are not. My girlfriend doesn’t care either way. Its not really neccessary to go and circumcise your child. Infact when my firends and I have kids we already know we are not going to circumcise our kids.

  145. Anonymous says:

    >My father-in-law is not, but he circed my husband. No one said anything about him looking like HIS father. My father-in-law said he did it because of the locker room thing. My husband said no one looked at him in the locker room. My husband and I did not circ our kids. My family (father, brother, etc) are intact. Check out the book “Sex as Nature Intended it”. It’s a really good book that totally explains the loss of sexual pleasure for both men and women because of this procedure. Also, there are lots of men restoring their foreskin who say that it has made HUGE differences in the pleasure they receive and has even reversed erectile dysfunction. Just google foreskin restoration.This is a really hard issue for men to discuss. I mean, as close as they are to their penises, can they really admit that something might have been done to them that might be bad? And mothers, do they really want to accept that they may have done something harmful to thier own kids?Another good book: Doctor’s Re-examine Circumcision. Also, from Dr. Sears: luck…. paddington

  146. Sarah says:

    >In response to the comments about intact boys having adhesions and needing circumcisions later in life:Those adhesions are the direct result of not caring for an intact penis properly.It’s quite easy to care for an infant’s intact penis: Wipe the outside like a finger and leave it alone. Retracting the foreskin tears the skin and causes scarring and adhesions. Being intact didn’t cause adhesions — parents and doctors messing with a perfectly healthy foreskin did!My FIL is circumcized. When the nurse came to take my husband away to be circumcized, my MIL instinctively protected her baby and said, “Hell no. You touch him and I’ll sue the ever living daylights out of you.”This was almost 30 years ago when circumcizing was the norm. And you know what? My husband says he was never once “teased in the locker room” or anywhere else for being intact. OK, he was teased about his hair and a couple times about his clothes — and he dealt with it, just like every child does, because teasing happens.When we found out we were having a son and talked about circumcision, he said, “Hell no,” and I completely agreed with him.Caring for our intact son has been easy. No wound to dress, no pain to mitigate. No guilt about causing harm to our perfect, newborn son. Just wipe the outside of the penis during diaper changes and never retract it. It’ll start to retract on its own sometime between ages 3 and 13 and its owner (my son) will handle that. Neither my husband or my son has had any health issues regarding their intact penises. We did a little homework to know how to care for him, as any responsible parent should, and found out it was pretty simple. Wipe and leave it alone.

  147. >In the interest of fairness, at 7:30am, this post was picked up on the discussion board. Afterward, a bunch of anti-circumcision comments started appearing. I appreciate your perspectives, trust me, but I would expect a participant on the board to be anti-circumcision and I think it’s only fair for people who are reading these comments and looking for info to know that that’s where many of the most recent ones are coming from.Okay, carry on. I’m more conflicted than ever, but it certainly is an interesting discussion.

  148. Anonymous says:

    >Well it looks like the stupid people are going to be, in true Darwin Award fashion, self limiting.”I’m going to circumcise my son because circumcised men don’t get AIDS or STDs”Great, wonderful message to get across, congratulations on your fine achievement on the defeat of this horrible disease. Wonder what the death toll over there from HIV will be in 25 years time? (We can guarantee it won’t be that high over here in Europe, where genital mutilation is not our cultural norm and we use condoms). Looks like the US has also hit on a great idea for population control in Africa too, tell them they’re all safe if they follow the US cultural norm and in 20 years time the famine and war problems will have just melted away.I always thought that interfering with children’s genitals was the preserve of a few perverts and sickos, I had no idea, until I met my husband, whose sadly denuded penis was the product of his parent’s desires and handiwork, that there was an entire nation of them. I hate my stupid mother in law for foisting her ideas of what sexual enjoyment should be onto me, she had no right. I suppose all you cut happy people assume that your sons are all going to stay exact where they have grown up and marry local women? Bad news for you, the world is going global, and there is a whole world of women out there who will despise American men for not being quite up to scratch when they find out what gets done to them at birth.

  149. IBK says:

    >”I feel like I’m damned if we snip and damned if we don’t, because if we do, he may later wish he were still intact. If we don’t, ” then he can get it done later on, when he can have anesthesia (you CANNOT fully anesthetize babies) and when his open wound is not in contact with urine and feces.”one thing I do know is that the procedure is much more painful and nerve wracking as an adult than it would be for him as a newborn.”Really? How do you know that? An adult can choose appropriate pain relief, and baby cannot. An adult will have a retractable foreskin, so he won’t be subject to the ‘tearing the foreskin off the glans’, the first step in circ (you do know that a foreskin is fused to the gans at birth, right?)Orare you saying that babies don’t feel pain? “I’m afraid he would harbor more resentment toward me for creating a situation in which he has to have an uncomfortable surgery in order to feel “normal.” Creating a situation? You mean growing his body inside you the way it’s supposed to be and then giving birth to his perfectly formed little body? That’s creating a situation? An intact penis is a NORMAL penis, cutting a piece off is NOT normal, and just because some people do it, it doesn’t make it normal. An intact boy knows that, and intact man knows that. There is nothing to explain.Creating a situation is performing unnecessary genital surgery on a perfectly healthy child. It makes absolutely no sense. Unless, of course, like many posters before me, you value your son’s future one night stand’s opinion and his future high school bullies’ less-than-probable teasing more than his opinion on his own body.

  150. Anonymous says:

    >QUOTE: And to be a 12, 13, 14 year old boy and know that the 12, 13, 14 year girls were all talking about and perhaps giggling (some of them did, though not to his face) his penis which was the only uncircumcised one around, for years – had to have been embarrassing at that age, dealing with junior high sexuality.That is my point, and the point also being that for the most part, in this part of the country, not being circumcised just generally is not done, and therefore most boys that aren’t will be set apart and considered different. It is, again, a cultural and societal thing – but that stuff has pretty big value in the mind of 12 and 13 year old kids. / QUOTEFor three years of a young adolecent’s life, when there are any number of “we don’t match” issues going on, the next 70 years of his sex life should be altered? I guarantee you that at 35, 40, 45… a man will thoroughly enjoy sex and be glad he has 100% of his body’s sexual potential. Looking back at when he was 14 and realizing that he did not give into pre-teen peer pressure has a huge value in the mind of a 45-year-old. (If he remembers his foreskin ever having been an issue at all.)

  151. Amy says:

    >I am not a father of course, but the mother of a baby girl. I see so many moms on here who are saying they are leaving this life-altering decision up to their husbands. I find that absurd, because as a mother, I have an urge stronger than any urge I have ever felt in my life, to protect and nurture my child. I don’t beat my infant because “she won’t remember it” and I don’t worry about my future son being made fun of in the locker room. Like a pp said, I worry about what is right for MY FAMILY, not what other people think, especially middle school boys who shouldn’t even be checking out my son’s penis in the first place. What a way to enter the world, strapped down to a board, screaming in sheer pain while your foreskin is ripped from your tiny body for absolutely no reason. Have you gotten a chance to watch a video of an actual circumcision being performed? I was not able to watch this in its entirety: you are able to get through that and still want to circumsize your son, well so be it. But I could never do it, and I am sorry my husband did not have that choice to make for himself. Also, many of you talk of this “cultural” aspect, yet gawk at the thought of a female getting circumsized. We all call it “female genital mutilation” WHY is it any different for boys? Because the good ol’ USA does it? Consider this study, which was HALTED because it caused so much trauma to the infants:, PLEASE, PLEASE research this decision more before you just leave it up to your husband. There is much to learn. Amy

  152. Robin says:

    >My husband was circumcised at birth, and he wishes he wasn’t. His parents took that choice away from him by having him cut as a newborn. No one asked him what HE wanted. It’s the child’s penis, not the parents’. Our son is happily intact. If he grows up and wishes to be circumcised, he can make that decision. If we had cut him, he wouldn’t have a choice.And for the record, I doubt that many boys born today will endure the teasing that many worry about. The circ rate is only about 50/50 right now and dropping, and in some areas, circ is actually the minority. People can debate all day long about whether or not it is painful (I believe it is), whether circ has benefits (I think they’re negligible), and whether circ causes sexual problems (I believe it does, for the man and his partner). But what it really comes down to is: not my body, not my choice. If a man decides that he wants a circ as an ADULT, I am fine with that, just as any other cosmetic surgery. But I don’t think we have the right to do it to babies. And my husband agrees.

  153. Anonymous says:

    >I couldn’t help but notice you talking about “your reality”. Ask yourself, who’s gonna be part of that reality? Your son or the many anti-circumcision bored housewifes who have nothing better to do than tell others what to do and think?Your idea that he may grow up to wish he had been uncircumcised sounds like something you heard from one of these people. They love saying it in an atempt to take advantage of the natural fear all mothers have of making a choice our children will resent later. What if your son grows up to wish he had been circumcised and resents that he’ll have to get it done in adulthood with the added pain and embarrasement (not to mention the higher incidence of complications)?You can only make the choice you think is right now for YOUR child. I have 3 sons, all circumcised. I was there while it was being done and it’s a very simple procedure, none of the cried and even though they may feel uncomfortable the first few hours, recovery is amazingly fast. Within a week it was practically healed, as opposed to my nephew who had to be circumcised when he was 10. I can’t tell you how painful it was, it required stitches, it was awful.Horrir stories you can hear from both sides, as well as happy stories. But you know where and how you’ll raise your kid and only you can determine what’s best for him.

  154. AnneH says:

    >To “anonymous” above.What other body parts would you also be willing to cut off your kids because you think someone else had a problem with it? Feet, arms or legs because someone you know had the excrutiating pain of a broken limb? How about removal of breast buds because a relative had breast cancer? After all, there’s always formula, babies do ok on that.I’ve always thought it pretty silly to remove part of someone’s body because someone ELSE had trouble with theirs. Believe me, all the men in the rest of the world, who do not have this done to them, are not walking around with their legs apart just wishing that they could escape all the pain and infections from their foreskin, and neither are they queuing up at clinics to have them removed. It just doesn’t happen if they’re left alone with their foreskin to mature on their own, it’s only Americans with their constant cleaning and interventions that seem to generate “problems”.

  155. annie says:

    >As for my original comment, I don’t see it as “for” or “against” (if it came out that way, then, I’m just not very articulate, OK?) So I don’t feel any reason to defend it or “Back it up” or continue an ongoing e-mailing argument.Besides, what’s done is done, eh? My son is fine and normal.I was explaining how I came to my decision. I was simply answering LINDSAY’s question “What do you think?” and telling her my experience.LINDSAY-Let’s talk about C-sections next, m’kay? I had both my kids C-section and I’m all for it! It was fine! And the Morphine was fabulous!

  156. Tony says:

    >To anonymous, following on what AnneH said:What if your son grows up to wish he had been circumcised and resents that he’ll have to get it done in adulthood with the added pain and embarrasement (not to mention the higher incidence of complications)?If he values the circumcision more than the pain and higher complication rate (and embarrassment?), then he can choose to have it done. He gets to decide what is best for him. On the flip side, what if a son grows up to wish he wasn’t circumcised and resents that he can do nothing about it? The ability to make elective surgical choices about one’s own body is what’s at stake here.You can only make the choice you think is right now for YOUR child. Parents do not own their children. Without immediate medical need, his body, including his penis, belongs to him alone. Also, permanent decisions can’t be made in a vacuum without considering the future impact. Lindsay seems like she’s considering the future.

  157. Austin says:

    >I am circumcised, I am a father. My son is not circumcised. Why? I’m glad you asked!1) It’s not my penis so why would I cut something off of it? It has no proven medical benefits and I don’t own him. It’s his body. Why would I cut off a piece of someone else’s body because it “looks nicer” to some people. I don’t care what his penis looks like, he’s my son. If he doesn’t like how his penis looks he can alter it as an adult. Cosmetic surgery is for adults, not children.2) It’s “different” to his peers? So what? Everyone IS different. He’s still going to feel sexually awkward, foreskin or not. I don’t have one, and I know I did. If it’s not one thing, it’ll be another. He may be overweight and feel weird about that, he may have glasses, curly hair. Cutting off the foreskin to prevent feeling awkward isn’t really going to prevent anything, it’ll just change the focus.And what if he has a problem FROM the circumcision. Meatal Stenosis affects about 10% of cut boys and can leave a very visual remainder. My partner was with a man who once had it and she said it was pretty hard to look at the tip of his penis. Adhesions happen to about 70% of boys cut, and many parents treat them wrong (you are NEVER supposed to pull them back or break them, they dissolve over time) and leave scarring and pits all over the penis. I personally would feel more awkward having a messed up urinary opening or scars over my penis over skin that I can pull back. When it comes down to it, cut men can’t hide scars/discolouration. If an intact man feels awkward or gets worried about his status he can just slip the skin back and appear circumcised. And when they’re hard, they look the same.3) It can be taken away later, but never put back later. Men’s Health did a poll amongst their male readers in the mid-90s. 30% of guys who were cut were dissatisfied with this, compared to 3% of intact men being dissatisfied. The nice thing? If the intact men wanted to be cut, THEY COULD. Cut men can’t put it back. 4) What if it doesn’t FIT? Not to get TMI, but my circumcision is personally too tight. And I’m hardly the only one. It’s the whole reason circumcision style was changed. Men in their 20s and 30s are having painful, tight erections due to the removal of too much skin. A doctor can’t eye up a penis and know whether it’ll be 5 inches or 8 inches. Lets say a baby has a short foreskin, doctor takes off enough to make him look circumcised with no slack skin, he grows to be 9 inches as an adult. He won’t even have enough skin for an erection that doesn’t bend. Doctors aren’t psychic, they have no way to know if his circumcision will fit him as a teen or adult.5) – The Lost List. Things that yeah, a lot of guys don’t know about or miss, but who are you (you general, not you specific) to say whether or not another person has or doesn’t have those things. If I think large breasts are attractive, do I have the right to give my infant girl breast implants? What if it was cuturally acceptable to ONLY have large breasts, should I do it at birth? Or should we wait to see if she wants large breasts and the problems that may come with them?I’m circumcised. I wish my parents wouldn’t have done it to me and I was done in a time where the national rate was 80%. I wouldn’t have minded being different – there was no “locker room” that anyone ever saw my penis in. Hell I don’t know if any of the other guys in my class weren’t cut. And I didn’t care. And if a girl didn’t want me because of it? Her loss. As my partner says, “The foreskin makes a great vapid woman filter. Any woman who is that shallow isn’t worth your time anyway”. And I think she’s right. I’d rather not sleep with someone who’s shallow enough to reject or try and take cheap shots at me because of my dick.Would you, as a woman, put up with a guy who said “I don’t want to sleep with you because you have small tits” or made cheap shots at you about them? I doubt it. I also doubt your parents would surgically alter yourself to prevent the situation. They’d tell you to find someone better, someone who deserves you.So why do we alter boys to prevent the same thing?Right now, nationally, it’s about 60% and it’s steadily dropping. For a good reason. Yes, it may still be high in your area, lower in mine (it’s about 60-65% where I am actually) but the tide is changing.Women in Egypt have THEIR foreskins removed (yes, women have foreskins too) in medical settings with anestehsia and we call it cruel, barbaric, mutilation…but we do the same thing to boys every day? And yes, SUNNA CIRCUMCISION (which is removal of the foreskin ONLY just like male circumcision) is comparible. It removes the female foreskin which has the same nerve endings and functions the same as the male foreskin.What I want to know, is how we can all be such hyporcrites. We tell our kids it’s okay to be different, everyone’s different, never comform. If your friends all jump off a bridge, would you? And all that shit. And then we cosmetically alter one of the most intimate parts of their body to make them fit in. “…The poorest argument of all for circumcision, yet the most popular is that everyone is doing it. The same mothers who will someday ask their sons “if all your friends jumped off of a bridge, would you do it too?” are lining up on a bridge of their own and taking their sons with them….” – Author anonymous

  158. Beth says:

    >Suburban Turmoil said: In the interest of fairness, at 7:30am, this post was picked up on the discussion board.It’s likely that your post is getting picked up by circumfetishists too, FYI. You never know who’s encouraging you to cut your little boy.

  159. >Actually, I would know, because I can see where people came from when they link to this site. And the argument that “circumfetishists” are coming here posing as parents is bizarre, anyway.

  160. Jake says:

    >One of the strangest things about circumcision is the anti-circumcision lobby and their endless propaganda. Obviously these people are entitled to their views, but the misinformation can make it hard to find real facts.One example is the claim that circumcision rates are low and falling. This is achieved by using data on neonatal hospital circumcisions, which underrepresent the true number. For example, a study of males born in the 1980s shows that 83% in total were circumcised. Hospital data, however, would incorrectly suggest a value of 60-65% for this period. In fact, a recent study suggests that these (hospital) rates are actually climbing.Another example is the claim that uncircumcised males are happier. Most surveys find roughly equal satisfaction rates. See here, here, or here.Probably the best advice on the subject is the AAP’s guidance for parents.

  161. Anonymous says:

    >My European hubby isn’t circumcised. He thinks the procedure is ridiculous. In the country he comes from there are no massive epidemics of men getting circumcised as adults and problems with intact penis status are unheard of. Thus our son is also not circumcised. And even if it weren’t the case that hubby is intact, I just don’t think it’s a nice intro to the world to start life off by unnecessary surgery to the genitals and I don’t buy into the argument of emotional trauma caused by the appearance of one’s penis in the locker room. I have never even heard of a single person being taunted for not having part of his penis cut off. I wonder about this notion that boys spend a lot of time showing each other their genitals and comparing notes. Certainly not a reason to have elective surgery done.

  162. AnneH says:

    >Congratulations, you’ve attracted Jake Waskett (go on, Google the name) fetishist gay man who just loves to troll parenting sites talking to mothers about circumcising their little boys. (In a “scientific” way of course…)There are a LOT of perverts out there, and against the cultural controls, biotech companies wanting their raw materials, doctors wanting their slice of the money, and paws on the foreskin the whole way along, little boys in the US don’t really stand a chance do they.

  163. Anonymous says:

    >I’m circumcised and I hate it. I am in the process of restoring but it takes a long time and it’s annoying and it still won’t be the same. No one had the right to steal my foreskin from me. It was mine, not my parents. My wife wishes I were intact as well.

  164. Tony says:

    >AnneH beat me to it. Very fitting that Jake appeared right after the circumfetishist comments. Note that Jake isn’t pointing out scientific facts, just disputing trends. Sure, there is room to question the numbers because it’s hard to keep perfect statistics for several million births every year. But that only speaks to conformity, not whether or not it’s medically wise to circumcise a healthy infant.

  165. Anonymous says:

    > would never sign our son up for optional surgery. Trust me, guys generally don’t whip them out and compare, so it doesn’t matter what everyone else is doing anyway.

  166. Anonymous says:

    >My partner is not circumcised. He has never experienced social pain at being uncircumcised. He has never felt embarrassed or sexually undesirable. He was never teased in the locker room. And yes, he grew up and went to public school in an area where almost all boys were circumcised.His was the first uncircumcised penis I ever saw, and I didn’t think it looked funny at all. Sex has always been wonderful for both of us. I have never had any discomfort. I have never needed a lubricant. And I have an orgasm every single time.The reason all the men you’ve asked have said to do it is that they are probably all circumcised American men who desperately want to believe that there is nothing wrong with their bodies.Even though it’s a “guy thing” in the sense that it is males who are most directly affected, we still have a duty as mothers to protect our babies from unnecessary and harmful surgery.I think that a circumcised father is actually the worst person to make the decision, because he is biased by his own circumcision. We as women can look at the information more objectively and make a less emotional decision.PLEASE read the following article. It is written by a doctor and it explains the effects of circumcision:

  167. Anonymous says:


  168. >I’m actually basing a lot of what I think about circumcision on a close relative who was uncircumcised and chose to be circumcised later in life. He is a doctor and based on both personal experience and medical study, is in favor of infant circumcision. He is someone whose opinion I respect. That’s not to say I have decided 100% one way or the other, but I’m also not blindly following my circumcised husband’s opinion.And I simply can’t read an article on circumcision from the same magazine that publishes placenta recipes. Sorry.

  169. Anonymous says:

    >Great, at least your relative had the choice.So many do not.Check out these sites for men who are MOST unhappy that their parents took away that choice. RestorationChatRestorationSupportGroupNORM AnotherRestoringSiteActually there are hundreds of these sites and support groups starting up all over, you might want to Google “Foreskin Restoration” and check out some of them before you remove anything from your son, to see what men really think about being cut as infants. (You might want to save the information as well, your son might well want it when he gets older if you decide to cut him).

  170. Howard says:

    >Lindsay, you asked for male input – so here goes: I was circumcised at birth, and it was absolutely the worst decision my mother ever made. I first discovered that I had lost my foreskin in the communal shower room of a boarding school at the age of 6. I instinctively knew that I was missing something and wanted it back. This has always been a huge disappointment for me – more so when I actualy learned the true form and function of a foreskin and discovered what I was really missing. Check out . When my son was born I was adamant that he be left intact, the way nature designed him.I see from many of the comments already left here that most of the myths and misconceptions common in North America are still widely believed. Here are my perceptions on some of them:1.Matching Dad – most people have no idea what the status of their father is, and precious few fathers and sons stand around comparing penii.2. Teasing – I spent 12 years in boys boarding schools, all with open, communal showers. There was not one single comment made about anyones circumcision status. Lots of teasing about other things from hair clour to ear size.Diseases – Circumcision started being promoted in North America by doctors to cure masturbation. When this was disproved the excuses ran the gamut from epilepsy to HIV. The U.S.A. has by far the highest rate of circumcision of any industrialized nation, and also the highest incidence of Aids. These new studies are no more than an immoral and unethical attempt to sustain circumcision as an beneficial and acceptable practice. It is niether. This is all about the money – where else can a physician make a couple hundred bucks in 5 minutes ?He may need it done later – The only body part that doctors rush to amputate for any problem, whether real or percieved , is a foreskin. Why is that? Girls get genital infections far more often than boys, but they are treated medicaly with antibiotics etc. Why aren’t boys accorded the same care? In most of the rest of the world they are. Circumcision for any reason is virtualy unheard of in Scandinavia.A foreskin is hard to care for – Baloney – The infant foreskin is designed with a tight sphincter at the end to protect the delicate urethral opening from feces etc. That is why only circumcised boys suffer from meatal stenosis which requires more painful surgery to correct. Doctors often instruct parents to retract their baby boys foreskin to clean it. This is so wrong and often causes pain and damage. A foreskin should be left alone and will becme retractable in it’s own time – often around puberty.It’s a parents decision – No it certainly is not . Cosmetic surgery is a decision for the owner of the body to make. If a man wants to be circumcised , that is his decision, and he has to live with the consequences. Very few do. Once it has been amputated there is no way to get a foreskin back. The choice is gone forever. As the more boys are left intact I believe that a lot of parents who chose to circumcise their sons will be faced with some hard questions.Finaly, all male mammals have a foreskin. Millions of years of evolution have resulted in the best possible design. So why do some humans state that a foreskin is a mistake of nature? Pretty arrogant attitude I would say!! Nature does not make mistakes – Humans do.The bottom line, Lindsey – please keep your son whole, and uphold his right to an the body he was born with.

  171. Anonymous says:

    >”I’m actually basing a lot of what I think about circumcision on a close relative who was uncircumcised and chose to be circumcised later in life.”Hmm…not sure I get this… how does this man’s experience affect your son? Are they realated? Is it a genetic thing? Do you base all of your medical decisions on one other person’s experience?Ask this guy what other medical problems and interventions he’s had in his life and get everything taken care of at birth then! You know, there are tons of pesky body parts who could later become a problem, an object of ridicule or not attractive to a partner. Might as well fix him real good at birth, he ‘won’t remember it anyway’!There is NOT ONE medical organization in the world that recommends routine infant circumcision, so basing your decision about YOUR son on one guy/doctor’s opinion seems a bit crazy to me. Good luck with your decision, I bet when you see the perfect little body you created it will be very hard for you to have a piece of it cut off just for comformity.

  172. Anonymous says:

    >Foreskin facecream anyone? is the real reason that the cultural norm won’t fade. Money. Doctors and tissue harvesters make a ton of money from this procedure and have a big incentive to encourage the procedure.If babies were ment to have a foreskin, they’d be born with them.My boy is whole as the day he was born. I’m a circumcised male, too. I saw no reason to pass on this ridiculous American cultural oddity to my boy. Circumcision is primarily an American, Jewish, and Muslim thing. Most men in the world are whole and JUST FINE.I’m not worried about the locker room since straight men don’t check each other out. And if someone comments, my boy can let them know that they’re the ones with something missing, something wrong. Their loss, not his!And my boy has enough confidence that if some shallow, pathetic excuse for a girlfriend complains, he can show her the door.To all the fathers who think their boy will be traumatized if he has a whole penis: Stop projecting your insecurities! Its not about you. Grow up and grow a pair!

  173. Jenifer says:

    >rjyhgWell, I’m not a Dad, I’m a Mom, but I had my son 4 months ago….. was present for his circumcision, and he didn’t even cry…. he just peed all over the doctor (tee hee hee.)

  174. dennis says:

    >Look at this way…boys do not believe that hygiene is the most important excercise in their lives (not until much later). Do you really want to let them wander around with that bit if uncleanliness hanging over your head?I obviously was circumcised and so was boy.imp. I do not really believe that my psyche was harmed by losing that bit of skin. If that were the case then all the skin lost over the years through various accidents should have turned me into a nutcase!

  175. Laura says:

    >In my opinion, a lot of how I personally feel comes down to issues of how I would raise this boy of mine if I had one:1. Instead of trying to prevent a potentially uncomfortable situation by slicing off a piece of skin, I’d raise him to be proud of what he has and who he is and strong enough to survive any locker-room teasing (if that even exists – seriously, I don’t think there are as many naked locker rooms as people are making it seem like!) I’d rather have a son who can stand up for himself than one who never got the chance because I made that decision for him. Would you want your mother in the locker room standing in front you so the other kids can’t see? No? Because in my mind, it’s the same thing. It’s not a place where I should be.2. Cleaning. How different is this than teaching your son to brush his teeth three times a day? Cleaning under a foreskin is easier and only has to happen once a day in the shower while you’re soaping up. If he can brush his teeth, he can clean his foreskin. Moreover, when he’s a teenager and he gets lazy and doesn’t clean it, it’ll start to smell. That’ll be reason enough to clean it – no girl will come near it! AND, not only boys with foreskins need to be taught how to clean – there are PLENTY of girls who needed to be taught how to clean at a young age! Vaginas are much trickier to clean than foreskins, especially if you don’t have a detachable shower head!!!3. I want my sons to have choices. My biggest issue with removing the foreskin is that once it’s gone, it’s gone! You can’t get it back easily, obviously, if you are even able to get it back at all. Your relative had a CHOICE. It was painful and difficult, but he did have a choice, and he made it. He was willing to go through the pain to be circumcised. And now he is happy. Perhaps he resents his mother for not taking care of this at birth, but ultimately, he did have the choice. You simply don’t have that choice as a circumcised adult male – even if you’re willing to go through ridiculous amounts of pain, you can’t get back what’s already been sliced off, without your permission, at birth. I want to raise my sons to know that they are capable of making their own decisions, standing up for themselves and taking care of themselves. This doesn’t mean that I will love them any less – my role is not to protect them from everything bad in the world, but to guide them into being good people as adults. It’s not my place to decide to alter their bodies to make their lives “easier”. It IS my place to teach them how to deal with the world as it is and come out of experiences stronger. There are statistics about everything under the sun that you can read to support your decision, but for me, it comes down to who I want my sons will be as people, not as penises.

  176. Anonymous says:

    >I think circumcision is simply an unnecessary surgical procedure. It doesn’t do any significant good (unless, perhaps, you live in Africa where HIV rates are actually significant and it’s taboo to use condoms), and it is painful.Contrary to popular belief, the uncircumcised penis isn’t difficult to care for or clean. I recommend looking up the AAP’s info on taking care of it (you’ll see that it’s not hard).USA circumcision rates the past couple of years have been between %50-60, so the old locker-room reason doesn’t apply to today’s babies: approximately half of their peers will be uncircumcised.Having said all this, if a baby is going to be circumcised, he sure as hell ought to be anesthetized. I don’t feel particularly strongly about the circumcision itself, but any parent who submits their child to something like that without sufficient anesthesia is barbaric.If a surgery is absolutely vital to the baby’s survival, and the anesthetic is unsafe, then I can understand something like that. But for a surgery that’s completely unnecessary like circumcision? Especially when the anesthesia isn’t unsafe? Jesus.I can’t imagine what idiotic stuff must be running through those parent’s heads.There was a scientific study done on babies’ reactions to the pain of circumcision with various anesthetics. If you’re considering circumcising your son, please read this article about that study:…The “he won’t remember it” argument is a bullshit way to try to discount the infant’s pain. Using that same logic, it’s perfectly acceptable to use memory-blocking drugs for adult surgeries instead of anesthetics. As long as they don’t remember it, right? Christ.The baby still experiences the pain. That’s what matters.So make damned sure the doctor uses an effective anesthetic. According to the CNN article I linked to above, topical anesthetics aren’t enough, so don’t be duped into that.If the doctor refuses to use an effective anesthetic, either don’t circumcise your baby or find someone else to do it who will use an effective anesthetic. And make sure they really do use it!

  177. Anonymous says:

    >What is wrong with American males that their penises have to be partially amputated at birth?Why do you people have such trouble with a normal part of the human anatomy?

  178. Anonymous says:

    >Circumcision should be illegal, and that includes religous circs as well. I am all for freedom of religion as long as it doesn’t impose on others (which cutting off the most sensitive part of a baby’s penis would certainly qualify as imposing). Its illegal here in the states to do anything to a girls genitals and it should be for boys as well. The reasons given for both male genital mutilation and female genital mutilation are similar so those of you that think they are completely different need to do a little research into the subject! There is absolutely no medical organization in the world that recommends the surgery be routinely performed on infants. It is not needed. So if you want to do it so that your son will be like all the other deprived boys go ahead–you’ll teach him a good lesson…comform, conform, conform-or others may not like you.

  179. alimum says:

    >When we found out we were having a son, my husband said that he wanted our son to be circumcized. “Why?” I asked.”I don’t know,” he said, “Isn’t it healthier?””Um, no.””I just do, alright?”I asked all our friends and all the men (circumcised) said yes, do it, and all the women said don’t bother.One of the students in our Bradley class had written her dissertation on how useless and barabaric circumcisions were. She emailed it to me. I never read it. (I would defer to my husband on this, why make myself feel worse?)And then our son was born. and my husband decided he was perfect the way he was and there was no reason fix what wasn’t broken. We talked about how even though the risk of damage was slight, how would we feel if our son was the one in a million child who was damaged forever and wedidn’t have a good reason for having it done?

  180. alimum says:

    >Forgot to add: back in the day (before my husband) I saw a couple of unsnipped guys and didn’t notice a difference between them and the snipped guys I saw. Maybe they had superior hygeine or maybe I just wasn’t all that concerned with how they looked (because, to be honest, that isn’t the most attractive part of the body.)

  181. >Just to reiterate, if you’re keeping up with these comments- about 150-something comments down, this post appeared on the message board. Since then, they’ve been flooding the comments with their anti-circumcision stance. Not to say that at least some of them don’t make good points (I say that because too many of them are just plain shrill/rude, compared with other anti-circumcisionists who’ve been quite polite to everyone), but I don’t want anyone to get the false impression that the commenters here were overwhelmingly anti-circumcision. Before they showed up (and I put in a comment about it a few dozen back, when I noticed I was on their board), it was about 50/50. Start from the beginning of the comments and you’ll get a much more accurate perspective.

  182. Anonymous says:

    >I am circumcised and wish my parents did not do it to me. Although this is not every cut guy, I know that there are plenty who feel this way.I strongly urge you to not have your son circumcised. All it does is remove a highly sensative part of his body that was working perfectly fine. The aesthetics are cultural and shallow, and the “medical issues” of a foreskin highly preventable in most cases (i.e. by simple washing).What you should do, instead, is offer him the opportunity to get circumcised at a later age. It will be more painful and he will remember it, but he will be able to be cut or uncut and have the satisfaction of having decided for himself. Meanwhile, a circumcised man can’t get his foreskin back, no matter how much he wants it.

  183. Drood says:

    >Okay, a lot of these comments are horrifying.Tell you what, ladies, I’ll make you a deal. I’ll give you $50 if you let me take your baby daughters, and remove their clitoral hoods. After all it’s just a flap of skin.Of course, that’s considered genital mutilation. Yet you find it perfectly acceptable to butcher your little boys. Let me tell you why you’re all wrongheaded.1) “Be like Daddy”. So if your husband had one arm, would you cut the kids arm off? Believe me, speaking from personal experience, the boy will be more in awe of the size of his Dad’s penis than anything else. You gonna get the kid penis implants so he “looks like Dad”?2) “I don’t like it.” IT’S NOT YOUR PENIS IS IT! If you spend that much time staring at it, you need professional help.3) You may not want to consider your little boy as a sexual being, but he is, and by butchering his penis you are depriving him of pleasure when he’s older. I am uncircumcised, and I can say with confidence that despite any problems I may have had, I would not FOR ONE SECOND want to lose it.4) Do not delude yourselves about calling it a “snip”. It’s a surgical procedure, and can go wrong just like any other surgery. Unless you’re an idiot, you wouldn’t undergo surgery unless there was a major benefit. There is NO BENEFIT to circumcision whatsoever other than an aesthetic justification from wrongheaded ill-informed individuals who apparently hate their children, and think that causing trauma and pain to a small boy is acceptable. I was teased about my foreskin at school. I’d rather suffer teasing every day than suffer the butchery a lot of you are happily promoting. Honestly, people who promote circumcision make me feel physically ill. The sooner the world wakes up and follows Finland’s lead* and sees butchering a penis the same way it sees butchering a clitoris, we’ll all be better off. If you’re thinking of torturing your child with this butchery, get informed about the prodedure, look at the videos on the net of it. If you’re prepared to put your baby boy through that, you have no right to be a parent.* – Finland has outlawed circumcision for non-medical reasons, basically because it’s a violation of human rights.

  184. Anonymous says:

    >I am a circumcised father. My wife and I have a 5 year old son. We opted not to circumcise him after learning it wasn’t medically necessary and that it was extremely painful. I was hesitant at first, I thought it was important for my son to look like me. But honestly, he never even noticed that I was circumcised and he wasn’t. I think he just assumes that I retract when I got to the bathroom. He is in school and no kids have said anything about him “looking different”. And he’s not difficult to clean, his diapers were easier to change than my nephew who was circed. My nephew needed his skin pulled back every change to prevent adhesions, with my son you just wiped him and that was it. Now that he’s becoming retractable he just rinses with water in the tub, its not difficult at all.I firmly believe that newborn babies should have a peaceful entrance into the world, and that shouldn’t include circumcision.

  185. Laura says:

    >Not all of us are from I’ve never been there or heard of it. I don’t know if you have a way of tracking who is from where, but there were many more comments from men after about the 140 comment mark – are all of them from that site, too? I’m just curious. Please don’t disregard every comment after a certain point…. I know mine fell in the post-140 mark and I am not from! Also, I have been following this post for the last few days and one thing is clear: people are shoving their opinions in your face even if they don’t mean to, because people feel so strongly about this issue. I’m sorry! I hope that there is a way for you to at least gain some valuable opinions and information through this experience without being totally turned off to the non-circumcision option just because a bunch of people came over together to force their opinions on you!I wish you luck in your decision process! 🙂 hang in there!

  186. >Many of the men after 140 are from because the discussion board there specifically asked men to comment on my site. So it’s pretty obvious which ones are from mothering. I realize that not everyone’s from there- frankly, it’s pretty easy to tell who is and who isn’t because they’re the only ones, for the most part, who are anti and ANGRY about it. Most others have been pretty polite, even in disagreeing with each other. I’m still reading the comments- I just regret that they turned it into a platform for their agenda, rather than a place where anyone could come and feel “safe” in speaking their minds.

  187. MommaK says:

    >Okay…you lost me at placenta recipes.After reading most of this I am so thankful I never had to make the choice (mother of 2 girls here). But if I did I know that I would:1) feel too awful to go through with itand 2) let my husband have 51% of the vote – and he is snipped so I think that’s how he would voteSo we would be torn. Great discussion, L!

  188. Anonymous says:

    >Suburban Turmoil, I hope you aren’t saying that if a man is angry about having no choice in his penile status, his opinion is invalid.This is one of the big reasons not to circumcise. Its permanent and your son may not share your feelings on the subject. At least if he has his foreskin and doesn’t want it, he can get it done for himself. Then, if he hates being circumcised, he has no one to blame but himself.

  189. Stef says:

    >My husband told me he already commented, so I thought I would add a woman’s perspective. =) When we made our decision not to circumcise our son, I will admit it was a tough one. I didn’t want to because of the pain issue, and thankfully my DH agreed not to. I also knew that I would have horrible guilt if something went wrong. I’m the type of person that always over-thinks. I know that I would have been obsessing over him crying, if he was in pain, the poor little faces he made, strugling against the circumstraint, etc.Even though I had done all the research, I still felt torn. I had only seen circumcised penises, and had no idea what an uncircumcised one looked like or how to take care of one. Once I had my son, I slowly got used to it. And honestly, now when I see my DH his looks different, its so funny. My DS is 5 now, and it is so easy to take care of. I don’t know how people say it isn’t, because I found my DS’s penis much easier to take care of than when my DD would have their poop explosions! You just wipe it like a finger, thats it. Even my SIL who circed my nephew said it looked much easier. My nephew had adhesions and she had to pull back during every change, he would cry a lot.I know that you can feel pressured to do it because its all you know, but it doesn’t take long to get over it. If you do decide to do it, do your research and make sure your baby gets the proper pain relief during and after, and that you’re there to comfort him during it.Congrats on your pregnancy and good luck!

  190. Anonymous says:

    >If your child is going to be growing up in an area where circumcision is the norm, I would recommend circumcising him. My position is based on personal experience, as well as the available medical evidence. If you look at the AAP and AMA statements, they say there are definite health benefits, but those reasons alone are not strong enough to warrant routine circumcision. This is where personal experience comes into play…basically I think cultural factors provide enough of an extra weight on the ‘pro’ side of the balance to make it worth doing. I was not circumcised at birth, and never had any medical problems of any kind. However, I grew up in an area where almost every other male my age was circumcised. Maybe for some people on here that isn’t a big deal, but it actually was a problem for me. I was never directly teased in high school (because no one knew I was uncircumcised), but I did have to laugh and play along whenever the topic came up. Needless to say this didn’t inspire a lot of confidence in me. It also didn’t help that the first time I was naked with a girl, she asked me “What is wrong with your dick?” before declining to go down on me. I realize now that this was a very cruel thing to say, but at the time it was terribly humiliating and reinforced my feelings of inadequacy, and led to years of avoiding intimate situations with women.Eventually I chose to be circumcised as an adult. Even though I knew rationally that there was nothing wrong with me, subconsciously I could not get over the feeling that I was not “normal,” and this was having too much of an effect on my life. I would have gladly traded a few minutes of pain as a newborn for the years of psychic anguish caused by not being circumcised. It’s a shame that the world is this way, but you have to play the hand you’re dealt.

  191. Anonymous says:

    >I just wanted to add this as a counter to all those women saying intact is ‘gross’; I think a cut penis is gross. I think of two things when I see one…about the agony the guy was put through when he was a baby and about the crusty callous that’s there instead of a sensitive foreskin & glans. Eww, poor guys.

  192. Mir says:

    >ARGH. I was a dumbass and made the mistake of clicking on the message board link you posted. “It’s funny, all these people on there supporting circumcision. When I read their comments I just feel sorry for them that their brains are so self-limitating that they can’t think outside of their own little box.”Really? Since when are highly educated, Southern women suffering from “self-limitating” brains?I’m mostly annoyed with the fact that the crunchies seem to excuse anyone whose son is “mutilated” by a mohel. Apparently, Jewish babies suffer from a defunct form of foreskin that activists are okay with having severed. I am VERY interested in knowing where most of these commenters reside. There is a huge cultural divide between the Deep South and the rest of the country, and I don’t see how those of us making decisions that will affect our children in the culture they reside in can be viewed as an uneducated decision. I also enjoyed their bucketing breastfeeding in with uncircumcising. Apparently, those of us for circumcising (for our own children, thank you) are anti-breastfeeding as well. Damn, I wish someone had sent me that agenda before I spent 10 months breastfeeding my mutilated baby.

  193. Stacy says:

    >You probably already know this but- The New York Times had a big article this weekend about the “pros” of circumcision, mainly being that is considered an AIDS vaccine. Very interesting study.

  194. AnneH says:

    >Please, whatever you do, DO NOT imagine that circumcision is any kind of vaccine against HIV. That is seriously STUPID talk. Anyone who thinks they are protected against HIV by being circumcised is going to be in for a very very big shock.The two studies showed that circumcision can reduce the chances of getting HIV by 50% for the first year after circumcision, of an adult man only.They have absolutely no idea of what is likely in the longer term as all three studies so far have been cut short, none of them have been allowed to continue to the finish. For some reason (probably stirred up by commercial interests and a falling circumcision rate) the media have been stirred up into a reporting frenzy over it. It is very sad, they are going to be responsible for a lot of infections and subsequent deaths, because they are giving a false impression that cutting off a foreskin will protect against infection. IT WON’T The only thing that will protect against HIV is condom use, abstinence or fidelity, circumcised or not.

  195. AnneH says:

    >The “crunchies” don’t agree with any form of circumcision in general, religious or not – but they are strictly not allowed to talk about it, and any posts with a whiff of religion are swiftly removed.Just thought you might like to know 🙂 .

  196. Debi says:

    >I went ahead and spoke to the guys that were around today. Got opinions from 5. 3 circ’d and 2 not. The two not was the father of the 2 sons that were and the nephew of the one that wasn’t. All of them said they wanted to be circ’d and have indeed had trouble with the girls not being. And one not done said that cleaning it was a pain. (Not sure why but that is his words). So hope that helps some.

  197. >Just as many men wish they’d been circumcised as infants (rather than deal with the prospect of a painful, memorable surgery as adults) as wish they hadn’t- a small percentage on both ends of the spectrum.As parents, these people are all just trying to do the best they can, no matter what their decision. I think it’s time for some of you to move on back to now and away from this blog. If anything, you’ve made me more in favor of circumcision now than I was before, and I’m not saying that to be inflammatory. You are turning my perception of people who choose not to circumcise from understandably concerned parents who don’t want to hurt their children- to shrill, agenda-pushing weirdos, whom most would not want to be identified with under any circumstances. Perhaps some of you should learn to be a little more artful or at least more kind in discussing the matter if you truly want people to see your side of things. Personally, I don’t think you really care- It’s too much fun to put others down who aren’t like you.

  198. mum says:

    >i’m so sorry that some of this has come off harsh to you. Some people feel just so strongly about the issue. I’m sure you can think of something that is near and dear to your heart that you wouldn’t allow anyone to bash. I know i’m not coming off as well as i could be…i really don’t want you to think that all the mamas on mothering are that radical. It’s just that they care an awful lot. As i’m sure you do too.I do think it bears reapeating that there is no medical reason ti circ. I did read that the study that they did…the reason that they found fewer cases of aids in the circd males was because they were unable to have sex at the same time that the uncirced males were out having it is kind of swewed that way…of couse there would be lower rates of aids in males who couldn’t/weren’t having sex.Anyway…don’t let the radical people sway you either way. In 20 years if your son asks you why you did it…do you really want to have to say…well son, they were just so radical, i didn’t want to be crazy like them. Better to make your own sound medical decisions about your children then to leave it up to anyone else.(doctor friends, mothering boards, or even the folks posing here.) find the studies and read them…Good luck.

  199. >Anonymous comments on this post will now be deleted, as will comments from those who attempt to monopolize the discussion. So says I. Unless I change my mind.

  200. Anonymous says:

    >”LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON” kit, gift-wrapping available!Description: Advanced technology! Now, father and son can match without surgery. Stops painful tradition in it’s tracks while eliminating risk of paternal inadaquacy syndrome and potential neonatal circumcision complications such as hemorrhage, infection, and death. A must have for the arrival of your 21st century blue bundle!Contents: (1) pair of novelty glasses, with fake nose and mustache.(1) adult novelty bib, blue bonnet, or pacifier(1) pair of adult briefs(1) reusable ice pack (for mimimizing penile size difference)(1) 1oz baggy of mock pubic/armpit hair and super glue (1) artificial umbilical cord stump (to avoid confusion during those early days)(1) bottle of nair -OR- (1) bottle hair dye -OR- (1) miniature wig/toupe, etc. (as applicable)(4) grease pencils, (1) black, (1) brown, (1) red, (1) white (For realistic mimicking of freckles, birthmarks, age spots, moles, stretchmarks, scars, ‘storkbites’, and more!)(1) bottle of tooth paint –OR- (1) container of tooth wax (For realistic ‘toothless’ look for dad.)(1) coupon for foreskin restoration device -OR- 35mm film canister, medical tape, etc.(1) pamphlet/article on foreskin restoration/methods…food for thought…(Hoping you make an exception for my humorous comment; I have a blogger account, but misplaced my handle/password.)

  201. >I don’t live in the US So I just seen an circ man once and sex was more painfull because the skin has less motility and is dryer so that’s my experience.Other than that I have always wondered how a First world country who is quickly to judge other cultures is so OK in cutting a part of a newborn infant personally I think is child abuse. And the foreskin is there for a reason to protect the gland.

  202. Jeff says:

    >I was circumcised at birth. I was born in Georgia, raised in Georgia, and live in Georgia still. My wife is from Georgia, so we’re in the prime group to circumcise without thinking twice about it. Both our boys were spared. And it was due to my insistence. My wife was initially for circumcision, just because it was what everyone does. Once I presented my case, she agreed to spare our son. Once she gave birth, and heard the blood curdling screams coming out of the circumcision room (they did them all at once) she thanked me for helping her make the right choice, and she is now a bigger opponent to circ than I ever have been. Now, I’m not going to get into the merits of circumcision itself as it relates to adults. When adults are involved, there is the element of CHOICE. What I am here to address is the routine genital mutilation of infants. As a man who is missing a key part of the male anatomy due to a decision made for me when I was defenseless, I can tell you that if you circumcise your son for any reason other than medical necessity, which is almost unheard of, you are violating his rights to have the body of his choice. If you feel that as a parent you have the right to make that decision, I bed to differ. You have the right to informed consent on decisions that involve his well being. If, for instance, your child had appendicitis, you would be in the right to decide to have him undergo an appendectomy. The alternative is infection, and usually death. Circumcision is not a necessary procedure. To submit your child to that procedure is as unethical as having a breast augmentation or a nose job. Forgive me for being so blunt, but the fact of the matter is that those that advocate routine genital mutilation are advocating a human rights violation. That’s all there is to it.

  203. kerry says:

    >Okay, hopefully I’m not too late to add my two cents. I was sorry to read that the anti-circ fanatics have irritated you to the point of moving further from center/undecided. I am anti-circ, but not a fanatic and I did not come from the mothering board.I am a NICU RN who has assisted with many circs. I am also the wife of a circumcised man and the mother of 2 sons who are not circumcised. I don’t want to go over all the arguments that the other anti-circ people have (cleanliness really isn’t an issue, hopefully self-esteem won’t be measured by an intact foreskin, medically it’s up in the air whether there as to any advantages, etc.)I just wanted to mention that I am a rational, concerned mother who researched it extensively. I spoke with my 3 brothers, 2 who are circ’d or partially circ’d and one who isn’t. Both who are circ’d had no strong feelings either way, the one who isn’t circ’d was very definite that it shouldn’t be done. I didn’t make my decision based on that, I was still undecided until giving birth and just realizing that I could not put my child through this procedure (regardless of how well some children seem to tolerate the procedure, I do have first hand knowledge of what is done and couldn’t do it to my own child). I do have doubts at times and would hate to have my child circumcised later in life if there are any medical problems. Of course I would second guess myself, but I would also have second-guessed myself if there was a complication during the circ. So, please don’t be swayed by fanatics either way. I just wanted to add my story and mention that when I am questioned on my decision by other moms(and I am questioned frequently) I am definitely an advocate against circumcision, but hopefully a respectful and well-informed one that isn’t a whack job.

  204. Mama Piadosa says:

    >Hi-I left the choice up to my first husband, and I regret that now. My gut told me not to have him circ’d, but he insisted, so I did no research. My now 7 year old has had adhesions and all sorts of problems.My second husband is also circ’d, but before the birth of his 13 yo he did research, and choose to keep him intact- which is what he wanted to do with our baby boy also. I was hesitant- I mean would he feel weird not looking like daddy? My husband told me of how his it was never an issue with his other son and pointed me toward some research. After reading everything out there we choose to leave baby boy intact, and I think it is the best choice we could have made. Having allowed it to happen to my now 7 yo, I completly understand and sympathise with people who have choosen to circ, it is so prevelant and invasive in our culture. BUT I have come to the realization that there is no good reason to permanently alter a body part. I sincerly hope you come to that realization as well, because I would not want you to feel the regret I feel over my bigger boys circ.

  205. dannie says:

    >I hope you are able to get the information you are looking for with this blog. Circumcision is such a ‘hot topic’ it seems understandable to me that people get a bit heated with their responses.My son is intact. If I had circed him and he was to approach me in 15 years and asked why, I couldn’t live with myself if my reason was “so you wouldn’t (maybe) be teased”. It just seems such a trivial, vain and insecure resoponse to such a major invasion of his privacy. Anyone who doesn’t think its “that big a deal” hasn’t seen the pics of “circs gone wrong”. Horrifyingly sad.Whatever your decision I wish you a happy healthy pregancy and incident free delivery!

  206. some girl says:

    >So, I’m late to the party and all, but like you said you wanted to hear what other people have to say.My first uncut boyfriend was in college while I lived in England. And I didn’t even notice it because, to be frank, by the time I got to his penis, it was already hard. When I finally saw the foreskin, I was not scared (I think we were in the shower and I was like: “Hey…What’s that?”). What was terrible were the number of yeast infections I got. Endless yeast infections. For like, two and a half years. Do you know what a two and a half year long yeast infection does to someone?My choice is made simple by the fact that I am Jewish and we are the original snippers, so if I have a boy I will of course snip. But if we weren’t, I would still snip. It just seems like the right thing to do.

  207. Anonymous says:

    >I am an intact American father of daughters. My spouse and I agree on this topic. I came of age in the USA during the 1950s and 60s. I neither read nor post at I read stuff by “intactivists” but am not one of them. My comments will fall under 3 headings, medical, social, and sexual.Medical. When talking about circumcision, I refuse to use the word “mutilation,” a word that is inflammatory and blocks discussion. It is also a bald fact that hundreds of millions of circumcised men have happy sex lives. I have never heard of circumcision interfering with urination, and I am confident that a large majority of cut men have perfectly enjoyable sex lives.There are about 3 billion human males on the planet, at least a half billion of them snipped. This large block of snipped men consists mainly of Moslems, most Americans, a number of African tribes, Koreans, Philippinos, and adult Canadians and Australians. The USA is now the only country where the majority of infant boys are circumcised without medical indication or religious reason.All claims that circumcision facilitates cleanliness are pathetic. I find it utterly trivial to wash under my foreskin every time I take a shower. It is much harder to keep the anus and navel clean.One would think that given the large number of men of each kind, there would be fair epidemiological evidence bearing on circumcision. There is some evidence that having a foreskin increases the rate of a number of medical problems in the Third World, but these are mostly due to ignorance of elementary hygiene and to a lack of access to basic medical care. What is relevant to this discussion is the effect of circumcision on health outcomes in the first world, especially the nations bordering the north Atlantic. I know of no reliable data on how often intact men in advanced countries suffer from infections under the foreskin, or mechanical problems with the foreskin. To my knowledge, nobody has studied and compared urological data from both sides of the north Atlantic. It is my impression that quite a few intactivists have concluded that American medicine cannot be trusted on this tender subject. Over the course of the 20th century, over 100 million baby boys born in American hospitals were routinely circumcised shortly after birth. In many cases, before medical malpractice lawsuits became common, the consent of the parents was not obtained. Local anesthesia did not become the norm until a 1997 clinical trial proved that circumcision is very painful for the baby (some-thing mothers know by common sense). Most of all, these routine infant circumcisions (RIC) were performed without any medical evidence that they were medically necessary. The medical literature on circumcision published before 1920 or so, is mostly unsubstantiated opinion and urban myth. A fair amount has been published on circ in peer-reviewed journals since 1980 or so, and Gooogle reveals that circumcision and the foreskin have generated a fair amount of web discussion since the web came on the scene, circa 1995. But between 1920 and 1980, very little was published on circumcision in either the medical literature, or in magazines for parents. Nev-er-theless, during this period Americans became so thoroughly circumcised that many Americans go through their entire lives having ever seeing a foreskin in the flesh, or giving it any thought.RIC was introduced in the late 19th century because of Victorian prudishness about masturbation and male sexual desire. The late 19th century is also the time when the germ theory of disease was established, sewers and flush toilets were installed in middle class urban homes, and regular bathing became the norm. There was a dramatic rise in hygienic standards. This is when the American aversion to all body odors began, and when genital and anal hygiene became important hygienic norms. Victorian mothers found it very distasteful to talk to their sons about the need to wash under their foreskins; they did not want to think about the penis, and they did not want their sons handling their penises and possibly experiencing sexual pleasure. So they gladly had the foreskin cut off. Continental Europeans left the foreskin alone, simply because they never bought into Anglo-Saxon prudery (much of the relaxed hedonism about human sexuality we see about us was pioneered in northern Europe in the first half of the 20th century), and were more relaxed about body odors and such.“If you don’t snip him now, he may have to be snipped later.” High rates of circumcision post-infancy seem to be mainly a British and American thing. (While RIC has vanished from the UK, 5-8% of British boys are circumcised by 18 years of age, for one medical reason or another.) In continental Europe, circ is rare at all ages. I also think that the trauma of circ after infancy is overstated. Local anesthesia, Darvon, and drugs that temporarily suppress erections help a lot. There is also an excellent reason to delay circumcision until the penis has reached adult size. Only then can the circumcision be thoughtfully tailored to the penis, leaving enough skin to allow painless erections. Before puberty, boys nearly always have long pointed foreskins. At puberty, the penis grows more than the foreskin, so that adult men often do not have full coverage of the glans. To cut off all of the foreskin at infancy can lead to painful erections and intercourse as an adult.All STD related reasons for circumcising do not apply to men who lead traditional sex lives, or use condoms outside of committed relationships. African clinical trials show that circumcision makes it harder to acquire and transmit AIDS. But African hygiene is vastly poorer than in the USA, and AIDS in Africa is overwhelmingly a heterosexual affair. Meanwhile, AIDS in the north Atlantic is a male homosexual affair, and circumcision has not kept the USA from having the highest rate of AIDS infection of any advanced country. Moreover, HIV seropositivity is not more common in intact Europe than in the circed USA and Canada.A New Zealand study of 500 men born in 1977 found that the circumcised 25% were definitely less likely to have had an STD sometime in their lives. Two problems. First, whether a subject had ever contracted a STD was determined by simply questioning the subject and taking his answer at face value. Second, assignment to treatment and control categories was not random. Parents who elect to circumcise their sons are also likely to raise their sons in a way that leads them to have less trashy sex lives on average.Social.At least 10% of American men born each year between 1940 and 1980 were not circumcised. Who are they? Quite a few Latinos, children of recent immigrants, i.e., children whose fathers never experienced an American locker room or served in the US military. Until 20-30 years ago, American blacks were less circumcised than Caucasians. Some boys are not circumcised at birth because they are premature or in otherwise delicate health. Finally, there have always been a few holdouts against the circ hegemony. I am intact because I was born in continental Europe, where RIC is not an option. Since 1980, the fraction of boys leaving the maternity ward intact has risen to 40-45%, but intactness is popular mainly with progressive parents, among children of new Americans and Latinos, and west of Denver for all. In much of mainstream America, the world of split-levels with 4 bedrooms and 2 baths and the world I hail from, I gather that a large majority of boys still undergo RIC.This intact American Baby Boomer cannot pretend that his foreskin was psychologically unimportant. My peers were overwhelmingly circumcised, but typically were told nothing about it. Boys who were all too quick with the bawdy quip on all sort of tender subjects were utterly silent about their genitalia having been surgically altered. (I once camped for 10 days with a group of European boys aged 13-14; even though only one of them was cut, he and the other boys talked about it without embarrassment.) Circ and the foreskin were not discussed in sex education. Diagrams of the male genitalia almost always depicted the penis as circumcised, without discussion. My mother told me nothing until I was 19, and my father never raised the subject with me. Even in college, talk of circ was quite rare. I had no idea why I did not look like my father, brother, and nearly all boys around me until I chanced on the article “Circumcision” in an adult encyclopedia when I was 13. I was 19 when I first read that one could have a foreskin and still be healthy. I was 31 when I read Wallerstein’s book arguing that RIC was, bluntly, an American medical error. I did not read of the possible sexual advantages of the foreskin until I was around 40. To this day, the only persons with whom I’ve discussed circ face to face are my wife and my mother.I avoided being noticed in locker rooms by quickly pulling my foreskin back before taking off my underpants. It would stay back while I showered. Embarrassment about my foreskin led me to sit out the sexual free-for-all of the 1960s and 70s, which was perhaps for the best. I did not lose my virginity until I was nearly 37, to a woman who had had ample previous experience with intact men. Yet the thought of resenting my parents because they didn’t circumcise me has never crossed my mind. I am now very glad they didn’t, if only because growing up intact in an overwhelmingly circumcised world taught me much about tolerance and marginality. Only one doctor has ever expressed curiosity about my being intact. An andrologist I saw in my 30s did not mention the fact while examining me. Only one person has ever expressed disgust at my being circumcised, and I was old enough at the time to know he was flat-out mistaken.The USA today is different; circumcision is far less hegemonic. By high school, most children of both sexes know that the male genitalia come in two flavors. I read that it is still the case that many American young women find the foreskin distasteful. That would end very quickly if Cosmo were to publish a pro-foreskin article, or if Madonna or Julia Roberts or Shania Twain were to take a public stance in favor of leaving boys intact.Boys should be told a few things about the foreskin around the time they start school, including not to make fun of boys different from themselves. Boys should be told more around puberty, as part of their sexual education, and intact boys can be told how the foreskin affects one’s sex life around the age of 17 or 18.In any event, to circumcise a child only because:*The parents fear that other boys will ridicule him in the locker room, or that women will ridicule him in bed, or*Daddy cannot bear to bathe or change the nappy on a baby boy having an extra bit of sexual tissue;are the worst possible reasons, and a sad manifestation of the classic American fear of nonconformity. Africans mutilate their girls for exactly the same reason: most African men will simply refuse to marry an intact girl.Jews matter less for circ than one might think, simply because there are less than 20 million Jews. Also, quite a few secular Jews born in cultures that are reluctant to circumcise except for good medical reasons, such as the former USSR, are intact. The main Jewish contribution to the subject is that they pioneered the idea that a male should be circumcised soon after birth. Some of the most eloquent intactivists are proudly Jewish.Sexual.I accept that millions of American young women find the foreskin strange or distasteful. But that simply follows from the fact that their younger brothers, and any baby boys whose nappies they changed, were all cut. If all the penises you see in your impressionable years have a knob on the end, you will find strange the rare penis that looks like a giant earthworm.That said, the foreskin facilitates masturbation and handjobs. Fellatio on an intact penis is not disagreeable, if the penis is rinsed off immediately beforehand. Mind you, that our noses and mouths find the secretions under the foreskin revolting is Mother Nature’s way of reminding us that she wants to see the penis in the vagina, not in the mouth! The foreskin does a wonderful job of spreading male lubrication all over and behind the glans. You cannot imagine the number of times I have gone to pee after meeting one or more attractive women, only to discover when I pulled back my foreskin that my penis was all lubbed up! The design of condoms leaves something to be desired where intact men are concerned, although I’ve used a condom hundreds of times. I predict that the growing number of intact Americans will lead condom manufacturers to come up with products that better accommodate the foreskin.Do intact men derive more pleasure from vaginal intercourse? There is as yet no scientific answer to that question, although I suspect there will be by 2050. What we do know is that the tip and inner lining of the foreskin are rich in nerve endings. Does the foreskin matter for a woman’s experience of vaginal intercourse? Anecdotal evidence goes both ways here, but there is no scientifically collected evidence (“Sex as Nature Intended It” is NOT science). For one thing, responsible premarital experimentation (“sowing one’s oats”) should take place with a condom, and condoms pretty much suppress foreskin mobility. Hence I am not surprised that some women claim that the foreskin makes for smoother gentler sex, others have the impression that intact men are merely masturbating in their vaginas, still others say that by and large they experience no difference. Scandinavian medicine attributes considerable sexual importance to the foreskin, French medicine does not, and American medicine simply ducks the question.

  208. Anonymous says:

    >I noticed a Nashville Scene icon and might assume you are from that area. So am I! I think the thing that most miss about circumcision is that it is not anyones right to choose to cut healthy functioning tissue from anybody even their own child. Yes it is painful, and there could possibly be horrible side effects, but the main issue should be that it is not your right to cut the foreskin from your son’s penis. It is against the law for us to do this with girls regardless of societal norms or religion. This is simply a memetic that our society needs to overcome. All it would take is simple education. And to rebut the studies on HIV. America is the only developed country that still does this and we have the highest HIV rate in the developed world. Maybe education is once again the answer. I can’t judge anyone for circumcising their son but I can feel sorry for their lack of choice in the matter and I can try to educate others.

  209. Katie says:

    >I guess it’s a little late for comments, but I just remembered a deal that I made with my first son. Before he was born, I told him that if he didn’t rip me open, I wouldn’t cut him 🙂 I’m really small with dry, non-stretchy skin, and he was 8 pounds 8 ounces, with a head circumference in the 95th percentile. Other than a 1/4″ skin tear I didn’t tear! 3 hours of pushing helped stretch me out nice and slow 🙂 Of course I wasn’t going to circumcise him anyway, but I wanted to get something out of it, lol 😀

  210. Michele says:

    >I’ve not read the rest of the comments. I know how wicked this particular debate *can* be, and I’m trying to limit the stress in my life. I won’t tell you what we decided (I know it’s a decision you and your husband need to make) but I’ll tell you HOW I came to the decision. I got overwhelmed by the information, pro & con. So I finally decided that it was idiotic for me to decide. I went to the source. I figured I didn’t have that piece of equipment so I went to my hubby who did. He already knew what he thought we should do, and that’s what we did. Mainly cause he has one and I don’t. Bottom line… If it’s your best decision, it’s fine. Regardless what it is.

  211. Anonymous says:

    >Read about 5 comments. . . Maybe you aren’t even checking anymore! In case you are . . . I am a girl, have no kids, but have had, um, relations with about 8 of the organs in question. 1 was unsnipped. Made no difference to me! I didn’t even notice on sight, it just felt a little looser and I asked the guy why. One thing to note – it was harder to keep clean. Good luck!

  212. MisterTruth says:

    >All foreskins on all males penises should be completely, fully and tightly removed without question. In a medical not ritual sense, using either the Gomco Clamp or the Plastibell clamp. Not only does circumcision liberate the penis, and brings about proper sexual function, hygiene and good health. Foreskin itself is pathogenic, as is secretes Human Papillion Virus and Tysons Cells. So not routinely circumcising all males born in all U.S. hospitals mandated by law and done only by skilled operators, is a public health risk period. As well as causing sexual, hygienic and health dysfunctions to the owner, Tyson’s Cells instantly bond and nuture the HIV virus which causes AIDS, and during sex micro-trauma allows for entry into the bloodstream, from the unkeritinized, virus secreting mucous membranes of the underside of the foreskin. And Human Papillion Virus (HPV) constantly is being secreted underneath of the foreskin and frenulum too, even after washing, this is why the smell returns so quickly, even after through washing. HPV when lodged into the vagina is among the leading causes of cervical cancer in women. So-called “advanced nations” where circumcised males are not the majority, will never tell you that they have a hidden and mis-labeled problem with sexual cleanliness, and adverse cervical, and urinary diseases including cervical cancer written off as “unknown disease”. Most nations are Communist or Socialist anyways, imbalance of cared for people vs. uncared for people is common. If all people knew better, tight, full and complete removal of the foreskin and frenulum from the penis, preferably with the Gomco Clamp or Plastibell Clamps, would be as common as removing the umbilical cord. But then again not everyone knows better, this is among the problems. Because it is the penis people who don’t know better become irrational. If it were an extra tooth bicuspid giving you a problem, people would go get it removed without question and carry on with good function and ease. But to some people it isn’t okay to take care of the penis, but only the teeth, lol. All parts deserve equal attention and care, rational or not, foreskin is designed to be removed a week after birth. It’s a genetic anomoly transfered from when the fetus (all fetuses start out female) turns into the male. The foreskin is only there for pre-natal development within the womb. After birth, preferably one week after birth it is supposed to be removed. Maybe some people have gotten lost and don’t understand this, but at one time everyone on earth routinely removed the foreskins from all males. Even self-circumcision, there’s caveman petrified corpses where the penis has no foreskin, and many artifact from lost civilizations, shows all the males worldwide without foreskin. With the exception of some of the latter Classical Civilizations. But even they in secret became circumcised. So I don’t know what all the fuss is about doing the right thing. Personally it should be a law in America, that all males are to be circumcised by a Doctor who is qualified only in doing circumcisions, before he is allowed to leave the hospital. This basically is how it used to be before 1990, going back to about 1930 in America. No one but the mother delivering the baby was allowed into the delivery room. And after her son was born he was cleaned up, and brought back without any foreskin and given to her, to take home. As routine as removing the umbilical cord. But since the Communists are running our Government now, they are confusing everyone on the right thing to do and introducing prejudice into everything now to mess with peoples’ heads. Since the rest of the World is either Communist or Socialist, some nations have even gone as far to “ban circumcision”, all the while their elites who imposed the ban, they themselves have their sons circumcised! It’s new world order coming as to where only a select few shall be taken care of, educated and “permitted” to take care of themselves and their kids. It’s already starting here in America like that. It would be a whole lot easier before this is starts up here, to pass a law making circumcision a madatory procedure for all males born in any U.S. Hospital, and only performed by qualified experts in the procedure. Call me what you want to, but if you all knew better you would support a law which requires all males born in any U.S. hospital to recieve a full, tight and complete circumcision before he can be released from the hospital, this regardless to race, faith or background. The pain for 10 minutes and discomfort for a day or two, shouldn’t decieve people into not taking care of their sons by failing to make sure they get circumcised!

  213. Anonymous says:

    >My husband is circumcised, but my family isnt. After the birth of my first son we had a big decision to make. Mine was easy. I told my husband to go in with the doctors if he wanted our son circ. We came home with a very happy mommy and uncircumcised son. Our second son was the same. Our first son had no problem growing up but now 5yrs old and I realized that his skin wasnt pulling back(Doctors told me never to pull back as it would do on its own). I knew we had a problem. We first tried a topical cream but didnt work. The dreaded day had come. He was circumcised 1 week ago. Pain for 2 days. torture the next day as the gauze was stuck and had to come off, another day of horrible pain, then horray, He was of playing gently.My sons remarks were “why didnt you do it when I was a baby (and very angry at me). I replyed that I didn’t have the heart and not every has complications and reminded that his brother is ok) He eventually agreed with me and now tells me constantly that he loves me.So, now I have 2 very different boys who will most likely be in the same locker room when they are older and can defend and help understand the differences.P.s If given the decision again, I wouldnt snip.

  214. >Alright, I was born in LA and my parents decieded not to have me circumcised. By the time I was 5 in pre school I had already wished I was. I asked my mom why not, and she said that they had no religious reason to do it. Also for the DAD issue, NO my dad never walked around nude, but at vacation spots or the club gym you notice and you feel confused.At the age of 18, after have 2 girls comment, I asked my parents and they asked why. I told them I didnt want to talk about it, I just really wanted it done. They aggreed and now its been 7 years. Let me tell you I dont hate my parents for not having it done, but God I wish they would have. Google a little bit more, check who is in your Class and social circles and their rates, for those kids are the kids your son will mostly likely hang out with. The only reason the rates are dropping are more minorites being born. Good luck with your decision, I can only hope when I have a son born my wife does disagree with my decision to have my son circumcised.

  215. Slaggie says:

    >i can’t believe how absolutely ridiculous the concept of an intact penis looking “weird” is. Why would something that evolution has designed and naturally occurs on a human body look weird? They only reason is that the large amount of circumcising that goes on has created a new standard. If you are in europe and circumcised, then you would most defiantly be the weird looking one. So I guess it truly is a cultural thing. as for myself, i am intact and have never had a single problem. i don’t think i spend any more time than a cut guy washing my junk and i never have any issues with hygiene or stuff like that. In the sexual department, it has gotten nothing but rave reviews and every single girl ive been with has been thoroughly enjoyed it. In fact, I know of at least a couple that have changed their overall preference to uncut. I could go into details, but I’ll just say that there are several aspects of sex that are better when your uncut. It just makes things easier. I will admit that when a few of my friends found out when I was about 18, there was some comments, but the concept was so foreign to them they didnt know how much they were missing out on. now they are jealous!

  216. Anonymous says:

    >Where the hell do you get the idea that it’s your prerogative to mutilate your child?Any parent who tortures and mutilates there baby is 1000 times worse than a child molestor.Seriously, without the polemics — circumcision is a sick sick sick ritual.

  217. Anonymous says:

    >I’m a “cut” Dad that left his 2nd son intact. I’m so glad we chose to keep him intact. In the SW, there’s about a 50/50 ratio if cut & NOT. I’m a college educated publice employee.There is really no need for RIC at all. “Just for looks”, “peer pressure” or “locker room reasons” are ridiculous. I played sports my whole life in the 70s/80s & no one stared at “other penises”. Now , my DW has been w/ several uncut men & she says, “when it gets erect, it looks the same & the men have much better experiences”Most of world doesn’t circ unless you’re Jewish or muslim. I disagree w/ religious reasons also.funny, my father was uncut but I assume my wacky, hypochondriac mother was talked into to circ’ing by some Dr.. If a Dr told her to cut off her left hand for some “health prevention” she would.Sadly, the comment made by some women posters are highly disturbing regarding a “southern cultural thing” do y’all sit around discussing penises LOL ?There’s many cultural things everywhere that should just die off. YK? the whole “they only cried a peep – YUK ! have you ever heard of “shock” We have Nurses in the famliy & they are all intructed to tell parents” their boy did just fine – only cierd a minute” to assure parents they did the right thing. al lthe nurses in our family now refuse to assist on circs – not b/c they are pro/con on the subject, just that they are tired of lying to parents & watching babies scream in serious pain. Guessing by the $300 pocket change in the Dr’s pocket… that adds up to a pretty good income source.My Blue cross/blue shield doesn’t cover it either.I had MANY male friends in HS that asked, ” Does your d!ck hurt when you get a stiffy?” I told them “NO” & couldn’t figure out what they meant until I researched when we found out we were having a boy. Their circs took off too much skin – too tight. It was hard for some of them to achieve O b/c of underlying pain.I’m in public safety & have been around tons of guys from all over& have heard this more often than not. so for all the chicks that think it looks better – what do you care, you cn see where it usually is, YK? Yes, I’m an anti-circ activist Daddy & I’m about as mainstream as they come. I’m no crfunchy tree hugger either but we do AP for our boy b/c he’s hi-needs.K9PD

  218. MamaNoggin says:

    >We’re Jewish so it’s obvious of our decision. However, I converted and would have made the same decision anyway. Even if you’re not Jewish it’s still in the Old Testament. Nonetheless, we had a brit and I watched the whole thing. My son never even made a whimper. No blood. Nothing. Religion aside, I remember the one guy in high school who was rumored to be “uncut.” Not that there’s anything wrong with it…but nobody was impressed.Hope this helps.

  219. Anonymous says:

    >Perhaps 5-10% in Sweden are circumcised so it is odd to do it here. I have never heard that any woman like it more or less so that seems like a very odd argument. A friend did it at the age of 25 because of physical needs (too big a wiener) and he was not in more pain than going to a dentist so that argument is not very good. I can understand that if everybody does it and kids are beefing each other for everything out of the normal, then it might be good to sail along the stream to not stick out of the ordinary. But solid stable parents should be capable of informing, preparing and supporting their kids against these kind of temporary arguments in school etc.

  220. manfred says:

    >Yah, Anyone out there even talked to someone with a foreskin, yes a foreskin still intact? Its pretty cool. I can do the exploding elephant trunk, thats a little childhood trick I developed. Parents: expect your child to be different. And when he becomes a man here’s, another perk-pun inteaded- longevity. Think about it. On the down side. The natural weiner has to have a shower every day. Oh no. Imagine. Luckily dear reader you do not live in the desert, but, wait a minute, thats where this practice originated, didn’t it. The founders of Judaisim and Islam, where guess what, allays when it came to the snip. Or should I say the slice as then there where no scissors: just a little history. But civilization has since then, fortunately, developed its plumbing. Parents: is your kid gonna live isolated from running water?- then cut it. Another perspective: going in its all the same. Going out though produces less friction as the foreskin rolls itself forward against the vaginal wall; you pickin up what I’m puttin down? Think about the mechanics. There is an inch of motion in every thrust during which rather than the penis rubbing against the vaginal wall, it rubs against the forekin. And dear ladies; please offer your thoughts. After all, thats where it counts. Growing up with, has been more interesting. At that special moment, the “leather dicks” never required of their brains that they also had to make introductions. You can imagine! It makes you a little different because it varies your experience of the world, and that is what makes one oneself right? Its just a penis And thats the straight and narrow

  221. >To all who don`t know….each and everyone of the men who signed that United States Constitution had a foreskin.Thomas Jefferson had a foreskin, and by god if foreskin is good enough for Thomas Jefferson it is good enough for me.I am an intact man with a foreskin of 22 years and I have had no problems. Circumcision was deplored by the framers of the Republic of the United States.

  222. the_dane says:

    >I hope people come to their sense on this. It is about the sickest thing you can do to have your baby mutilated. I’ve already stated my case on this in a paper I wrote in college. What I don’t understand are certain women who think they can be as rude about this as they want, considering every excuse for circumcision could justify having them cut.

  223. Donna says:

    >My husband is sixty-two. He was never circumcised. Without going into personal details, I know he would tell anybody, “Get your kid circumcised!”He’s having some discomfort and will probably have to get circumcised before long. I’ve learned this is not at all uncommon. Better to have it done as an infant and be spared the pain, embarrassment, and all else involved.

  224. Jen says:

    >My husband and I agonised over whether or not to circumside our son. I spent weeks researching the pros and cons. Friends who had sons in the early 90’s and did not have their them circumised because it was very out of favour, have (all but 1 ) since had to have it done for various medical reasons. My OBG and GP all queried our desire to have the procedure performed, yet both admited later that their sons have been done. My son has just come out of nappies and has now discovered his new best friend, I am please that a good soak in the bath is enough to keep this area clean and that penile and cervical (in regards to the future partners) cancer are thing that carry a much reduced risk.Our son was done at 6 weeks, with a local. A plastic bell was put over the important bits so his penis was safe from damage and he did not cry at all. It took 4 minutes and he showed no signs of discomfort in the weeks after. When I read posts like this I do wonder if we did the right thing, but then I think it over I realise that this was right for our family.I feel that this is a very personal, difficult and controversial choice for a parent to make and we have to respect others beliefs and ultimately do what you think is right.

  225. Anonymous says:

    >I don’t know about other experiences with circumcision but after my son had it done I don’t know if I would do it again. I have one boy and two older girs. My boy is 21 month now and he is doing great. When he had his circumcision at around 4-6 weeks, I thought I will go crazy!!! He was crying from getting needles with anasthesia(he was poked 3 times). He was bleeding a little more than he should(from Doc’s view). He was crying all the way home( half an hour to 45 min. drive). At home it was hell!!! For about 3-4 days(maybe even a week, I don’t remember now), my son was screaming every time you would look at it, forget about touching!! We used medicated cream given by the doc to prevent infection and every time I would change the gause he would cry. He had no diapers for the first few days. I was not able to pick him up or hold him the way I usually did. I had to be very careful not to touch the area. And after all that, when it all start to heal, the foreskin was stack to the head of his p….We had to go back to the doctor and he had to pull it open again. Fortunatelly, it wasn’t the worst thing but my guy did cry. Also, I have a feeling that the doctor who performed his circumcision didn’t do a good job. He did the cut at an angle which is probably the right thing but he did it at a wrong angle and now I see that he cut a little bit more on top than he should have, that’s why my son was bleeding more than he should in the first place, and the doc didn’t cut enough on the bottom as I see some “loose” skin on the bottome of his P….I did told my hubby that if I knew that my son will have so much pain and suffering from it I wouldn’t have done it, but I hear a lot of positive things about the circumcision and don’t feel as bad anymore. But I still don’t know if I would do it again.

  226. Anonymous says:

    >In Africa, male circumcision is not a cultural practice in some communities like the Luo of Kenya. I wonder if there is a pseudo-colonialization… campaigns to promote circumcision is taking centre stage as ideal for HIV infection reduction….while the debate for or against it and the ethical concerns of the child bodily right s are rife… I am not circuncised and I love it that way… it is so sensesionally sweet…

  227. Sharon says:

    >So sorry your blog got hijacked, but that’s really what these women do. they buddy up and start sending each other to wherever this discussion is going o nand they jump on it like the plague. Sad.Anyway, I have two boys, both circumcised. In my aprticular case, it’s the best choice I could make for them. I had religious reasons to do it and I’m happy that there are certain medical benefits that came with it. Until I read your blog I didn’t realy think the social/cultural reasons were strong enough, but you’re absolutely right. It should be taken into consideration and they defintely determine what’s best for our children. It seems to me that some people have turned their children into their banners and in an attempt to be anti-mainstream and oh-so original and unique, they forget about that important social aspect we all have. So you take into account the factors you think are important and make the best choice for your child. Good luck!

  228. TD says:

    >I’m the cut father of an intact son.A few points:- He’s never had any problems having a foreskin- I *have* had problems not having mine- He is in the vast majority in the Western states- He’s never been traumatized that he and I look different- I *am* angry that my most basic human right to an intact body was denied me- The procedure is invasive, amputative, technically penile reduction surgery, and ablates as many as 20,000 fine-touch nerve receptors- The ethics of it are pretty undeniable; and because it’s so staunchly defended by some, I think that’s a sad statement on American sexual psychology- I am a father who would love to see the custom end completely- I am restoring in order to get back some sensitivity and protection, as well as regain some sense of wholenessThere you go. An honest response from a man (and a father).

  229. manfred says:

    >Sometimes having a foreskin is unattractive ie dirty. Its really that simple. It has its value sexually? -potentially, having as one blogger said 20 000 nerve endings, though surely cosmo, to take a sardonic example has never advised its readers on utilizing that, that would be culturally abnormal to be sure; so, then , what is the value of it? Allow me to be frank; I am not circumcised, and I have never thought that its being there contributed to my sexuality -as many here allude to. But, then again, thats a little like asking a fish what it thinks of the ocean. Is intact or snipped a factor in terms of performance?! I’ll put that out there, in conclusion.

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