>Welcome to the Dollhouse
>
It was another dreary morning at Suburban Turmoil, Inc. Lucinda sighed as she put her 1,247,504th load of laundry into the washing machine. Was this what her life would amount to? The ability to make a paste from Spray n’ Wash and Oxyclean that would eliminate even the toughest stains? She knew she should be grateful for her stainlifting talent, but somehow, it didn’t seem like enough.
“You should let the baby go anywhere she wants with the donut I gave her,” he said. “By insisting that she eat in her high chair, you are impeding my relationship with her.”
“And another thing,” he added, waving one arm in the air like a demented fuhrer. “I want the beagle to be allowed to run around the house and pee everywhere. And now that the playroom carpet is stained beyond recognition, I think everyone should be allowed to eat on the den carpet. As a family.”
Lucinda sighed. It was that kind of morning.
Once Hubs had regained his sanity, apologized and left for work, Lucinda sat down at the computer. The way things were going, it probably wasn’t a good idea to see if the Best of Blogs winners had been posted. Oh well. At least she could go over to Annie’s and bitch if she lost…
But wait. Was that? Did that say… No. It couldn’t. Lucinda rubbed her eyes. Yes. It did.
Heh heh. Looked like it was going to be a good morning after all.
Lucinda went out to her balcony to address the cheering crowds that waited below. “Thank you!” she shouted, not caring that a few neighbors came out to stare at as she boldly orated to an empty sidewalk.
“Thank you, judges and thank you, readers for putting up with my unexpectedly rabid competitive streak and thank you, voters for following my barked orders to ‘Keep trying to vote for me again, damn you!’ And thank you, other nominees, who are so cool that I knew I didn’t really stand a chance. And thank you, Minerva and Momcat for nominating me! And thank you to everyone who thinks I’m stupid and contests are stupid, for keeping me humble! Thank you, thank you, thank you!”
The End.
>Congratulations ( yeah I am the first annoying journalist in the back room )So you just won the BOTB Lucinda what are you going to do now ?
>OMG! YAY! You WON! I had been checking back and they were taking 4-EVER to post it so I forgot to look last night. This dollhouse post was absolutely adorable too, by the way. You should make it a regular thing on here…act out funny scenes. That’s hilarious!
>Yay! Congrats! :-)You deserve it!
>OH YAY!!! I’m SO happy for you! Let me be the fourth to say “Congrats” Lady! I am so proud and also so happy that I could help out with my gazillion votes! I’m not saying it was ALL ME..but you know…AHAHAHAHA! No big deal for a pal like you! 🙂 You totally deserve it!YAY!
>Woo-frickin-hoo!!! You absolutely deserve this award, your blog rocks. Congratulations!What I want to know is: Will Hubs duct tape his boobs for your award presentation?
>Typical, I sit here trying to get beyond a few words of congratulation, refresh the page and discover that Lisa stole my woohoo when I wasn’t looking. Harumph. Never mind, I shall be strong:Woohoo! Congratulations on your win!
>Congratulations! It was a hilarious post! 😀 You really deserved to win!
>YAY YAY YAY YAY you SO DESERVED TO WIN. I told you–you are by far the most brilliant, funny, charming mommy blogger out there. I totally heart you and I’m so happy you won!
>Congrats again! 🙂
>Congrats on the award!
>Congratulations dear Lucinda and I am THRILLED for you….Minerva
>Thanks for your hilarious and encouraging post on my blog today. You’ve definitly got the humor running through your vains. Congrats on the BoB!
>Congratulations! You have a great thing going here and deserve it. All the best– I know I’m going to be a continued reader. 😀
>Congrads! No one does crazy, drama, foulmouthed, hoo ha writing like you Diva!All the best from your number one gay guy fan in Denver!
>Yay Lucinda!!The very best of all scenarios.Pssst. I read your comment at MommaK’s yesterday. Write about your daughter. Then I won’t feel so stupid feeling so in love with my daughters and wearing my heart on my sleeve about it.
>CONGRATULATIONS SWEETHEART! The prize for you should be a kick in thepants for your hubby and an all-inclusive vacation wherever you want to go!(with me of course!)
>Congratulations. I ballot stuffed all I could for you.The beagle should still be allowed to piss on the floor. That way you have something to post about for next year’s competition.
>Well done Lucinda!Proud ‘o ya!
>congrats! it’s nice to see an actual GOOD blog win once of these contests for once.
>So does the baby get to eat her donut on the run now? In celebration?Congratulations, Lucinda. You’re the bomb.
>Yea!!! I am so happy to see that you won! Seriously because of you even being nominated I found your blog and just love it!!! Congrats now go out and celebrate ( without the whole puking thing this time of course!
>congrats!You deserve it!
>Congratulations,relieved and happy you won since you deserved the crown. The dollhouse is hilarious!
>This was a hilarious post. Not so scary as I thought. Maybe I don’t need my blankie after all. 🙂
>Congrats! You had me at the “Bitchin'” and “What They Don’t Tell You About Birthin’ Babies” posts. The naked hoo ha and duct-taped boobs posts just sealed the deal.
>CONGRATS!!!!!!!! I just saw that you won!!!! WOOO HOOOO! congrats! I feel like I know a famous person now!!!!!!
>HOORAY!!! I thought it was not possible for you not to win….does that make sense?
>YAAAAAAYYY!!! Now I know that all those votes were worth my while. Oh, they would have been anyway. I owed ya!
>Congrats on your win chickie!!Dare we ask just how long it took you to set up the dollhouse and pose the mini-You, take the pics, etc??? And still come up with a brilliant entry – you rock!
>Yeehaw! Congratulations Lucinda! You definitely deserved to win! I have to come out of the closet– I was one of the virtual fans standing on the sidewalk as you gave your “thank you” speech from the balcony.There are so many parenting blogs out there and after a while they all start to sound the same. You somehow manage to come up with unique material, though, and on top of it you’re FUNNY!Thanks for keeping this blog and injecting some well-needed humor into my days! 🙂
>Congratulations! You truly deserve it! Just this post of yours (one helluva funny photo-comic strip this is!) is enough to prove that you’re every bit of a winner! :-)Thanks for putting smiles to my days 😀
>congratulations!
>So that last post was just gratuitous hoo-ha mentioning? Now I like you even more!
>Wendywings- Thanks for the question! The first thing I did after winning was make lunch for the girls, who had a day off from school. They don’t know about the blog, but even if they had, I don’t think they would’ve been very impressed by the BoBs, unless it somehow involved meeting David Beckham. Some things are better kept secret.Momcat- This episode was a pilot, but The Dollhouse is hoping to get picked up in the regular season. We’ll see.Lisa- Hubs was so excited, he actually looked at OTHER blogs yesterday. I think that’s the first time he’s ever done that. No duct tape, though. I mean he was at work, so…yellojkt- The beagle is NOT allowed in the house. This is the beagle who had lyme disease and rocky mt. spotted fever AT THE SAME TIME last year. We found a tick on Baby when she was 13 days old, after Hubs had been out playing with the dog. And yeah, we use flea and tick stuff on the dog- professional grade. End of discussion.Susan- I told Hubs that Baby could absolutely eat the donut on the run if he was willing to vacuum up the crumbs everywhere she had gone. Um. No. Angela- My liver is very frightened right now. Heather- I have an extra stash of blankies here just for people who get frightened. No worries. ;)Mooselet- Start to finish, it probably took less than 45 minutes. Baby and I are always playing in that dollhouse. Took a minute to find the daddy doll. And the post was easy to write because I just had to caption the photos. And everyone else, wow, thank you for all your kind words. You’ve made my whole weekend!! 🙂
>Congrats on BoB win. I really like your blog and will stop by again.
>Your house is just full of winners lately, isnt’ it?! Congratulations!
>YAY for you, Lucinda. I loved the pictures.Now, don’t start gettin’ all high brow on us, ya heah? 🙂
>HOooooray! *happy dance*
>Loved it! LOL
>I love the Dollhouse! Congrats on your win.
>nakkie hoo-ha’s n BoB’s kinda belong together, congrats on ur win
>Congratulations! You are the best, absolutely deserving of the award!
>wahoo!!
>Congrats!
>oh, hardy congratulations! I’m so happy for you and this is so well deserved! Yes, yes, yes! Those of us with discerning taste saw this in the cards.Very nice visuals!
>Woohoo! Congratulations! With all your monetary winnings, you can celebrate with some Champagne and crackers!
>Lucinda, congratulations!! Those pictures were hilarious, too.
>You would deserve the award for this post alone. Brilliant! Congratulations, Lucinda!
>Congratulations! This is the best acceptance speech post with pictures evah.
>Congrats! Well deserved I must say. I am in awe at how you can consistently come up with such good stuff. Keep up the excellent work!!!
>Yeah baby! I’m so happy for you. 🙂