>Woo hoo! Herpes!
>
Herpes ads mystify me. Seriously. Who are these handsome young men and women so desperate for cash and exposure that they’ll appear on television and in magazines implying not only that they have herpes, but that they’re deliriously happy about it?
“Peter, why did you bring me out to this wheatfield? You know I have seasonal allergies…”
“I have to tell you something important, Margie. Something I should have told you a long time ago. I have herpes. Which means that by now, you probably have it too.”
“Are you kidding?! Why, that’s great news! Because now, there’s
VALTREX! Hold me, Peter! I want to remember this moment forever.”
“I am LOVING my gyno right now! She just told me I have HERPES! Me! And to think that my mom thought I’d never amount to anything! I’m off to run around outside wearing my shawl like a cape in order to express my overwhelming BLISS at this unexpected good news!”
“Happy Herpiversary, Denise.”
“Oh, Ron, I can’t believe you remembered! Happy Herpiversary to you, too!”
So of course, I wonder to myself, do these “actors” really have herpes? Or are they just pretending? And is the fat paycheck worth being whispered about for years to come? Because you know their ex-girlfriend/great aunt/first grade teacher/football coach/fuck buddy is seeing them on television and wondering what the hell happened. And. Ewwwww.
I’m curious. How much would it take for you to appear in a genital herpes commercial? And what happy activity would you engage in on television to prove how much you love your STD?
>LMAO. If I were an actress my career would have to be in the slums for me to appear in an ad about herpes. I mean, what’s left to lose, right?
>I really feel that the substantial reward of having the loving words “Happy Herpiversary” whispered, or, hey, yelled, stands alone.p.s. Herpevisary. You’re hurting my tummy with your funny. Owwie.p.s.s are you familiar with the haunted desperation of almost 99% of the acting population? it ain’t pretty. believe it or not, it is actually less attractive than appearing in (any slew of) pharma ads. I know of which I speak. I can almost guarantee that the actors for pharma campaigns call home excitedly when they get the news of landing those gigs. *weeps silently for the degeneracy of our culture*
>Reminds me of that Friends episode where he portrayed one of those actors on billboards…rofl!I would be frolicking, man. Frolicking…And I would do it for 8 bucks. Fo shizzle.
>I would do it! I would LOVE to make some exes wonder…..And that might just be pay enough.
>Ha! It’s the decade of medical “openness,” I have decided. It’s like those commercials for erectile dysfunction (“ED”). “I have ED, but I am so happy about it I want to announced it to the world!” They even have a character with “ED” on the freakin’ soap opera that I refuse to admit that I watch!
>We’ve always laughed at those herpes commercials, out of the sheer ridiculousness of them. “I’m was a skanky ho in my past life but now I have Wonderdrug which means my past is controlled once a month.” Speaking of once a month,I also hate the new tampon commercials. Along with the obligatory “pretty girl in white pants”, I hate the “let’s open th wrapper and show what else they can do” type of ads: Pearl Tampax can plug a leaky boat, you can string them together to escape a party, etc. And then there are the new hip ones: “I can wear a bikini b/c I have a tampon and then crave chocolate” … WTF?
>I have one for you that is sure to send a kid to therapy for years. How about the kid that admits to bed wetting? First of all, to the parents, are they that desperate for a paycheck to have their child tell the world about an embarrassing problem regardless of whether or not it’s true? And to the child. I’m just shaking my head now because I don’t know any child that would agree to that. Not one.
>Wait a minute, I was one of those ecstatic vd carriers!!!!Just kidding. Ya’ll got me lmao!!From vd, ed to peepee. Have you ever noticed just how many Rx commercials there are? Count them the next time you get a chance to watch the national news. Shit you not.
>I think I would do a herpes ad before a viagra commerical. The herpes ad just says I had poor taste in partners, not that I’m totally inadequate.
>omg… too funny! i always think the same thing about the actors who appear in “criminal-renactments” .
>Fireworks of a different kind. I’d do it if I could make it into a multi-drug ad.Herpes: $50 once a monthViagra: $9 a pill twice a day dose of penicillin: $100Vacation to last a life time: priceless
>It seems to me that, if you REALLY loved your significant other, you’d do everything you could to PREVENT their exposure to this INCURABLE DISEASE by KEEPING YOUR PANTS ON, but that’s just me…=P
>ROFLMAO!! Yeah, I’ve wondered about those ads.I think I would do the commercial for a few thou… In my ad, I’d be camping – maybe sitting by the fire with my loved one, toasting marshmallows, laughing, of course… Even people with herpes like s’mores, I’ll bet!!
>I’ve always wondered who in their right mind would willingly portray an STD victim…or even a hemorrhoid victim. I’d have to start answering phones or waiting tables if I were an actress because NO WAY would I star in those commercials!Hey, do you ever get that not-so-fresh feeling? Nah, me either! 😉
>Couldn’t pay me enough to appear in one of these add. Have to figure afterword everyone is going to be looking at you cross ways. These adds are almost as bad as femine hygene adds. So have you ever had that no so fresh feeling lately?
>totally smashing, Lucinda!
>About 10 buckets of margaritas.
>I can’t imagine appearing in a commercial for VD ever.BUt while that may be embarrasing, how does the discovery channel find those people to lie in a shack in the dark and get swarmed by killer ants, that don’t stop biting until you kill them, just so we can watch ants attack people. Or where do they find the girl in the bikini who is willing to swim right next to the potentially deadly box jelly to add to the drama. COme on people, how much money is your life worth, really?Yes I’m a nerd and live with nerds and we watch the discovery channel on Sunday nights. Now you know.
>Well, without ads like those we wouldn’t have the joy of posts like these!
>In the words of Mama Tulip, LMAO.”Happy Herpiversary.” That’s classic.I don’t think I’d do an ad and show my face on television, but I’d review an STD pamphlet on my blog in exchange for some free condoms. Anything for free stuff.
>I always wondered how desperate the people in herpes/adult diapers/whoops I got my period! commercials really are. I wouldn’t do it.
>You said “herpiversary”!!!!!!!I don’t know if you’ve ever been funnier!
>well, if i had it, i’d never do the commercial, but seeing as i don’t, show me the money!!
>I would do it for at least a thousand. Those people have got to be smiling about something.
>I don’t know if it’s my computer of yours but all I see is a blank white box and the words “Woo hoo! Herpes!” I’m not sure whether to congratulate you or sympathize with you but you have peaked my curiousity.
>I am rolling. That was hilarious, and once again, you must have been spying on my brain. I wonder the same thing….I wouldn’t do it for ANY amount of money. Seriously. Same goes for tampons. Ick.
>Too funny! It would take a lot of money and an expensive vacation package for me to appear on one of those ads. No way!
>I’d endorse anything that doesn’t result in ‘rectal bleeding’ or other unpleasant side effects.
>No qualms here, I’d do it for, say 10,000 bucks, riding horseback through a field of hay. I’m allergic to hay and horses, but I need 10,000 bucks even more. And like someone else said, I’d love to make some ex’s squirm.
>My personal favorites are the ones where you see the young woman riding a bicycle. Or the one where the guy says, “Now I don’t have to be responsible with my genital herpes anymore!” These actors appearing in these ads must be really desperate. But careful what your throw your stones at. At least 10% of the US population has genital herpes (HSV-2), and up to 40% of certain populations have it. And 90% has oral herpes — you know the virus that causes COLD SORES (HSV-1) on your mouth. Interestingly, 1) Most people have it and don’t even know it, and 2) you are the most likely to spread it when you have no sores. The presence of a sore actually indicates that your body has killed the virus for the time being. So much for the keeping your pants on (or refraining from kissing) when you have an active sore.
>I realize a lot of people have it. I know some people who have it. I’d just think it would be a closely guarded secret, rather than an opportunity to run through a field of daisies, shouting, “Hallelujah! I’m herpified!”
>Wow, good news. With Valtrex, “you’re free to be who you are”. …a slut.Why aren’t there any condom commercials? Don’t “free” women need condoms too?
>Do you remember on Friends when this happened to Joey? I think he thought he was modelling for some product, and he turned up on a city-wide poster campaign for a free STD clinic. But they are ACTORS, I mean, is it really that different from playing a creepy bad guy? Come to think of it, I’m not sure I’d want to get too friendly with Steve Buscemi or Christopher Walken…
>Herpiversary. HA! My promoting STD medicine would be a hoot and a half. I’m pretty sure I was a virgin until I was, like, 24 or something. And my husband is a minister. The folks at church would flip a burger.
>Oh this is so funny!nate used to do a comedy routine about how much he wanted herpes because of all the hot girls that seem to have it and how happy they seem. In other words, you and Nate…sympatico. Not sure if that’s a good thing.