>Your Correspondent is On Assignment. Sort of.
>I’d like to apologize to the man and his wife who sat across the aisle from me yesterday on the flight from Nashville to LA. I was wearing my lowest low riders to accomodate the little-bit-o-belly that annoyingly appears the very moment one is pregnant the second time around. And while I was careful to wear a long t-shirt that would cover my unavoidable plumber’s butt when sitting, that shirt was just not up to the job of covering my ass during the times that I doubled over to pick up Baby’s toys from off the floor of the airplane. I must’ve exposed a good quarter of my ass at least twenty times during the four-hour flight, including one particularly long incident in which Baby rolled out of the seat and refused to be recaptured. It didn’t take me long to determine the reason for all the staring from across the aisle and so all I can do is hope that my in-flight entertainment at least gave you a good laugh.
Yes, we’re in LA, visiting the in-laws. The plan was to leave the horrid heat and humidity behind in Nashville, but apparently we brought it to California with us. The high here reached 100 degrees today. Thank God Hubs’s parents got A/C a few years ago or I might be on the next flight back. Kidding. Not.
Thanks, by the way, for all your congratulations in the previous post. I was overwhelmed by your response. Many of you wanted to know how Hubs took the news- One of you even expressed concern that I had blogged about it before telling him (Seriously, do I seem that far gone?). The truth is, he took it way better than I did. He was apparently eager to “get this show on the road” and be done with baby making once and for all. Because we are all very sure that four little Ferriers are enough. He helped me get through the sobbing-over-all-those-missed-martinis part and look forward to all the painful and embarrassing moments that come with pregnancy. Well, maybe not all that so much as another little baby to add to the general mayhem that is our lives.
Meanwhile in LA, it’s weird. As usual. While we waited in baggage claim for our luggage, I noticed a father giving orders to his two children, who looked to be about eight and ten-years-old. It was his shirt that struck me as odd; it read GIRLS GONE WILD: CREW MEMBER on the front. What the fuck. I thought Hubs’s Three Stooges t-shirt was bad, but I guess I should be grateful he’s not wearing GIRLS GONE WILD: CREW MEMBER to the girls’ soccer games.
I’m on a weird t-shirt-sighting kick, too, because a few days ago at the grocery, I noticed a seriously, seriously overweight woman wearing a t-shirt that said, I SURVIVED THE FITNESS CHALLENGE. And she was definitely not attempting irony. In retrospect, it was a very old t-shirt.
Today, at my favorite LA store-we-don’t-have-at-home, Trader Joe’s, I got to witness a customer fly off the handle after the customer service representative informed her that they didn’t have a particular item she was seeking.
“It’s FRENCH!” she screeched in front of the checkout lines, flapping her arms to accentuate her outragedness. “It’s in EVERY FRENCH RECIPE ON EARTH! GAH! What is wrong with you people?!” We all stared at her in mute disbelief. Or at least I did. Back in Tennessee, that kind of behavior would only be warranted if Kroger were out of, say, Miller High Life.
“Only in LA,” I whispered to Hubs.
More weirdness as it develops.
>Yikes. Much weirdness, eh?I hope you enjoy your trip. 🙂
>You get to go to Trader Joe’s? Everyone on the South Beach Diet raves about that store. All that organic food. Lucky you. And now you can tell yourself that you can eat more yummy food because of the baby.
>I love watching people go POSTAL on the meek Customer Service folk at any store. My thinking? What on Earth could have happened to that person to make them so angry? Did someone cut them off in traffic on the drive to the store? Or does it go back as far as childhood? Did they not get the Red Ryder B-B Gun for Christmas after asking for it year after year after year? When I go shopping alone (which is rare), I go out of my way to be nice, just because I can!I found a new t-shirt by the way. I think you’ll like it. No, it’s not ‘Girls Gone Wild’!! You’ll have to stop by and see the picture on my blog.
>I love LA. Be sure to take a drive up Mulholland Dr. at night if you are in the area.
>Congrats! I didn’t read yesterday…I can’t believe you’re in LA and won’t take the little flight up to SJ on Friday for the big ole meet n’ greet. You will be sorely missed (even your ass crack 🙂
>Seriously, those are some funny shirts. I personally like Dawn’s shirt “Writing well is the best revenge,” and my cousin-in-law’s girlfriend’s shirt that says, “Dorks are hot.” As pretty as you are, I bet that couple on the plane (going to L.A. no less) were staring thinking, “She’s hot. I hope she keeps bending over.” You’d be surprised.
>Oh I love Trader Joes. Have fun in L.A. LMAO about the peep show on the plane.
>You’re welcome (regarding your well wishing). 160 comments on your announcement??? Ya, no doubt you’re feeling overwhelmed. That’s a whole lotta lovin’! 🙂
>Now I need to Google “woman baring ass crack on plane” to see if anyone blogged about your in-air offense. ;P
>You know you’re far too famous now to be showing your ass on an airplane. There’ll be talk woman!
>Hubs: Please, please guard against wife’s buttcrack. There is only one of me trying to snuff this out; your help will be much appreciated.
>first off …congratulations!! thats fantastic!! theres nothing like a new lil baby :)trader joes brings out the best in people i guess …last time i was in there a lady was having a fit over the flower selection? a visit to LA … in our heat wave woohooo! lucky you …
>Soooo true about the Kroger comment. Have fun in LA. Stay cool. I know I was a nasty pregnant woman in the heat.
>This is what I read first with the belly comment…I had to immediately scroll down and read more! That Fitness shirt is hysterical! I would’ve burst out laughing. Poor woman.I would love to go to Trader Joe’s. We don’t have a Kroger here either. Someone said the wine from Trader Joe’s is awesome. You could still buy some and horde it ’til after the baby comes!
>I delayed my note of congrats a day so it wouldn’t get lost in the sea of well-wishers. Then again, I could have always gone WHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! But look! Here, I did both. Yeah!
>Oh man, Trader Joe’s…just typing it is making me crave those crazy delicious chocolate cocoa covered almonds…little pieces of heaven…
>Well, being in Tn, I can say, my Kroger is always out of EVERYTHING. I don’t believe I have ever thrown a hissy fit about it though. And Saturday was B E A utiful in Tn! We went to Nashville Shores and it was barely 80 with NO humidity!And as for the plane ride, well, a peep show doesn’t hurt anyone. :-)Hope you had fun!
>I’m a bit behind on my blog reading, so I’ll add my congratulations here:Congratulations!!! 🙂
>Congratulations on your pregnancy! I enjoy your blog–so please don’t take the following as a slam, because it’s not.You posted: “I noticed a seriously, seriously overweight woman wearing a t-shirt that said, I SURVIVED THE FITNESS CHALLENGE. And she was definitely not attempting irony. In retrospect, it was a very old t-shirt.”See, I knew it. I’m a seriously overweight woman. I am working very hard, and have lost 25 pounds. I have a lot more to go. I HATE going to the gym. I’m convinced that when I’m on my way to the gym, people are staring and laughing and thinking “that’s really ironic…look at that fat woman in the workout clothes!”My friend said “oh, no, everyone will see you and think ‘how wonderful that she’s out there getting fit!'”I’m not angry with you for thinking what you thought, or for posting about it. I just knew my friend was wrong. Thanks for proving my point! Now to go throw away my XXL YMCA shirts…
>Hey anonymous! People make fun of other people for a wide variety of stupid reasons and in a wide variety of places. I’m 6’2″. You think I don’t get made fun of?? However, at least at the gym you are doing something good for yourself. Who cares what anyone insecure snarky idiot says? (And there are PLENTY of people that a. Don’t notice you enough to care since they are just trying to make it through their OWN workout. b. Think its commendable you are doing something to change your life.) Personally, I would prefer to be made fun of at the gym, instead of say… walking out of the local fast food joint clutching a sack of grease.Keep the shirt, and go work out your frustration at the gym. You’re doing great.
>I knew someone would take issue with the t-shirt. It’s one thing to wear a YMCA t-shirt, which would indicate that you are working out. It’s another to advertise that you “survived the fitness challenge,” and draw attention to a weak point, which we all have, by the way, whether it’s our weight or whether it’s something else. It would be like me wearing a t-shirt that said Playboy Playmate. People would totally give me looks that said ‘Um. Yeah, right. Maybe ten years ago, but honey, you are not Playboy Playmate material now!’ Do you know what I mean? Thank you, though, for nicely making your point. 🙂
>Oh and by the way, anonymous, I go to the gym several times a week and there are LOTS of overweight people there (and lots of totally fit people that I want to strangle) and I swear, no one’s thinking anything bad about you when you go. When I see someone who’s really overweight at the gym, honestly the only thing I think is “Go, girl,(or guy)” and I hope in my mind that I’m still seeing them there six months down the road. So please don’t feel insecure. Truly everyone at the gym is thinking so much about their own body, they don’t have much room to analyze everyone else’s.
>First of all, I hope you are feeling well! Traveling in the hot summer during early pregnancy sounds not so pleasant to me. Perhaps you need to get a tattoo airbrushed above your butt crack that says Baby On Board. Tee hee. 🙂 And Trader Joe’s? I guess we’ll NEVER see one of those in Bellevue, eh?
>HA! drive up to where I am! it’s 112!!!
>Why don’t you call me? I LIVE at Trader Joe’s. In fact, I posted about it today. Again, call me. I’m in Hollywood.P.S. I’m actually in San Diego right now because of the heat. It was 109 on Saturday and we have no AC and a sick baby so needless to say, we are refugees. BUT we’ll be back tomorrow? What say you?Dude and P.S. Congrats!!!!
>Hah!I agree with Lisa…that ass is going to be on the front cover of In Touch Weekly! Sounds like the experience at Trader Joe’s was similar to The Fresh Market? Congrats on the baby news! How exciting!
>My hubs LOVES him some Miller High Life.I’ve heard too many scary stories about LA, so I’ve never been. My only trip to Cali was for my marathon last year in San Fran. If I went to LA, I’d probably have to pull out my Texan and tell a few people to get off their high horses.
>another cool place to hang out and witness weirdos is SEATTLE. Now don’t get me wrong, I LOVE THAT PLACE….but you gotta be a REAL freak to stick out there.I spent LOTS of time in LA. Don’t miss it a bit.
>Trader Joe’s is about the best thing ever. I’ve been buying yummies there since college. Enjoy your trip to LA. I hope the heat will give soon, for your sake as well as mine since I live in loverly So-So Cal myself!
>CONGRATULATIONS!!!and I agree, it would only be acceptable to wig out at the piggly wiggly if they were out of miller, or perhaps the tall boy malt liquor cans..
>Congrats on the pregnancy!!!!Don’t you just LOVE seeing people FREAK out over nothing???I love it when that stuff happens in front of me. Love.It.
>Anonymous, maybe some people think nasty things about your weight when you work out at the gym, but they’re just jerks. Who cares what they think anyway. There is a woman who must weigh over 300 lbs who comes to the pool to do water aerobics. She voluntarily appears in public in a BATHING SUIT. I admire her guts and dedication. And I think she’s even been losing weight. Don’t let your fears about what other people might think rule your thoughts.
>I lvoe Trader Joes. Right now with the heat and being 15 pounds heavier thanks to this baby on the way, it’s the only think I like about living in here in CA with this heat wave sucking the life out of me.
>I leave town for a few days and you get knocked up! Congratulations Lindsay! The second time around is so much more fun…really, truly.
>Trader Joes should have bouncers for people like that. I bet they gave her a balloon anyway.
>Congratulations!!! And how scary about that dad’s t-shirt. I saw a mom recently with a “Failure is Not An Option” t-shirt, with two pre-teen daughters. Eeeeks.
>Hey! your where??? Damn it girl, I’m only 3 hours north on the 5 and 4 hours on the 101- and I have a pool and some ice cold drinks- anything you want!;)(It’s been 115 here in San Luis and we are melting……the nights are even hot!) It’s suppose to cool down soon:) Hope you all are having fun.
>You’re the one who brough the heat to CA??!!!Dude, you are in SO much trouble. Unlike your family we have no AC in my little house and it is HOT.(sorry, the heat makes me a little prone to outbursts…)
>Thank you all for your encouragement. Lindsay, thank you for realizing I wasn’t trying to slam you, and for answering me so kindly.I will continue to go to the torture chamber…err, gym. I’m just going to be aware of what I’m wearing!And I can thank you…at least now, I have one MORE reason not to stop for fast food in my work-out clothes on my way home from the gym! Ha ha!
>Hey! Randomly came across your blog through another blog, and damn – your’re funny! Love your sense of humor in each post.So you’re in L.A. Is that why it’s suddenly so hot in CA??? GET OUT!!! Just kidding. We’re used to it. 100 degrees was nothing. We hit 112 or 113 over here in the Bay Area (CA!) Yuck. It was literally still in the 90s close to midnight and I damn near threw a fit. Yeah, it’s hot here in good ‘ol sunny california….. You shoulda spotted the tshirt I spotted at Costco the other day. Said “Meet the Fuckers” I thought it was a joke from the movie, thought I had read it wrong, so I actually walked up to him and stared at his shirt. I just couldn’t believe he walked around with that on. Californians…yeah, we just don’t care now do we??? HAHA. Oh well.Enjoy your stay in L.A! …and congrats on your pregnancy 🙂
>What the hell? I’m gone for a week and you go and get preggers! Wow- congratulations!