I'm Lindsay Ferrier, a Nashville writer with a passion for family travel, exploring Tennessee, and raising kids without losing my mind in the process. This is where I share my discoveries, along with occasional deep thoughts, pop culture tangents and a sprinkling of snark. Want to get in touch? Use the CONTACT form at the top of the page.
December 6, 2005
>”So about this dessert thing you’re having on Saturday,” my friend Susan said on the phone this morning. “I don’t have to bring something really extravagant, do I?”
“Absolutely not,” I said. “Some people make desserts and some buy them from the store. And the funny thing is, with all the kids here, the store-bought stuff is usually the most popular.”
“Good, because I was thinking cookies,” Susan laughed. “Now, what are you making?”
“Um. Actually, I’m making a chocolate-glazed-coconut-almond-cake-with-white-chocolate-filling,” I said quickly.
“What? I thought you said the desserts weren’t extravagant!”
“Well, there’s this freak who comes every year and brings something really spectacular,” I explained. “So the first year we had our dessert party, I made something ordinary and she showed up with, like, a three-layer homemade German Chocolate Cake. And everyone was all, ‘Oh, Anne’s dessert is fabulous.’ “Have you tasted Anne’s cake?’ And I’m thinking, ‘You don’t know who you’re dealing with, bitch.’ So we’ve kind of competed every year since. Without saying anything about it, of course.”
Susan snorted.
“Oh my God,” she said. “That is hilarious.”
This is one reason why Susan and I get along so well. She thinks I’m funny, even though she’s a mommy. A lot of women seem to lose their sense of humor when they have babies. More and more, I’m met with a deafening silence when I use words like “bitch” or “asshole,” in front of a mom. But Susan thinks it’s funny, and since she’s going through a divorce, I figure she needs to laugh as much as possible.
But that’s not the point of this post. The point is that the Day of Dessert Reckoning is almost upon us, people. And my chocolate-glazed-coconut-almond-cake-with-white-chocolate-filling has got to win.
I made it for the first time at Thanksgiving, and although the glaze didn’t work out very well and I undercooked the cake itself enough that it sank and we called the whole thing Ugly Cake, it tasted fabulous. So I’m tweaking it a bit this time, replacing the glaze with a sure-thing chocolate frosting recipe if it doesn’t work out, and keeping my fingers crossed for award-winning results.
It’s agony not knowing what Anne is planning. My guess is that she’ll go with something more traditional, since her Autumn Trifle with Roasted Apples, Pears and Pumpkin Caramel Sauce last year tasted divine, but was mostly uneaten because of the strange look of it. Last year’s victory was extra sweet for me, because I hear she marinated the pears for two days. TWO DAYS. I mean, what does this beeyotch have against me? What did I ever do to her?
And yet, who cares, as long as I win?
Anyway, I may not be posting quite as much this week, what with the party and the baking and the in-laws coming on Thursday and the fact that both Baby and I have colds (this is my second cold in two weeks! What the hell?!). But if you think of me, dear readers, keep your fingers crossed that my chocolate-glazed-coconut-almond-cake-with-white-chocolate-filling causes Anne to tremble with outrage one. More. Time.
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>You go girl with your chocolate-glazed-coconut-almond-cake-with-white-chocolate-filling! I know it’ll be 100x better than anything that takes two days to marinate. 😉
>You know that you will totally win the dessert war this year Lucinda. That woman soesn’t stand a chance. And Susan? She sounds like my kind of people!
>I’ll find her. I can pose as a survey taker or something, or, I can beat it out of her.
>LMAO. I had forgotten Dessert Match 2005 was coming up! Send me a sample, I’ll test it for you! Good luck and I can’t wait to hear how it turns out!
>This is hilarious!I wish I knew someone who threw this kind of party! (maybe I’ll steal your idea….)Anyway… second cold in two weeks…. This is what we get for being around our adorable germ-y kids.
>Hey, anything with chocolate ALWAYS wins….Minerva
>Ooooo she’s nasty!! Marinating for 2 days?? You’re thinner & prettier, right? Your husband is more successful? Your home is bigger and you throw better parties? Tell me I’m right. Oh I wish I could be there!!!Good luck. You know I’m rooting for you and I’ve got your back 😉
>Oh, gosh, that sounds so good. If you don’t win it’ll only be because she’s lined her dish with $100 bills!
>Chocolate!Glazed!Coconut!Almond!CAKE with White!Chocolate!Filling!-I say the bitch is going down! hahaMy fingers are crossed girl!I hear you on the whole-“i’m a mommy now-so now I’m goodie two shoes”-I just made a friend with a mom at our school who said she wanted to get to know me-cuz she heard me say “fuck”-(not at school)-and a girl gotta say that now and again!ps-I posted comments a couple of times and they did’nt show up-must be me:(they were good too!Hope you and baby cakes are feeling better soon:)
>i’ve got three kids, if i was coming, i’d pick up a box of donuts;)see, i still have my sense of humor and i hope you win!!!
>I admit, I’m not competitive when it comes to cooking. Let’s just say it’s not my strong suit. But, if ever there was a competitive contest to bear witness to, it would be this. Man, I wish I could taste the fruit of this conflict.I’m sure you’ll kick some ass my friend. Anyone this dedicated to sweet things in life will come out on top. By the way, we had a girls night out last Friday and after we drained our first drinks. We decided that each of us must swear profusely for the rest of the night. Since having kids we tend to avoid or spell out our once colorful language. Let me tell ya…It felt really, really good.
>I LOVE the idea of a Holiday Bake-Off Smackdown! Anything with Chocolate and almonds and coconut and white chocolate that is glazed–and is a cake is a winner for sure!Best of Luck. Wait, you won’t need it. I am sure you have the Patron Saints of Chocolate and coconut on your side–whomever they may be.
>We are all SO rooting for you, Lucinda! I have a good feeling about this one–how can you go WRONG with a dissert that sounds like that? Ahhh…Keep us posted on how the war unfolds and have a GREAT party!
>Good luck with your cake and let us know what happens.
>growl… kick some ass
>You are going to kick her butt to the kerb with your dessert.My HUSBAND is the competitive cooker in this family lol.
>You see, you would like me, because I would be so unlike the bitch. My dessert would look bad AND taste a little off.
>Yeah, you’re going to kick her pear marinating ass!
>You work that glaze, you subversive mama! Anne’s dessert can only disappoint.
>Okay I keep my eyes crossed for you!! Sounds yummy and wanna see what the turnout is
>You’ll win hands-down!
>I’ll vote for you! It sure sounds fantastic. You’ve got to think of some way to sneak a picture of your dessert and her dessert so we can compare!
>I just found your blog. So freakin’ cool. I got into a baking smackdown at my son’s preschool awhile back. I know women just like her…my neighbors, as a matter of fact. Kick her pear-marinating butt!
>cold-wise, it’s probably your baby that’s making things rough. when you catch a cold from someone with genes in common with you, it’s able to better make you sick since it already adjusted to your family member’s similar genes. Hope you can stay well for a while.