>Dessert Cage Match

>”So about this dessert thing you’re having on Saturday,” my friend Susan said on the phone this morning. “I don’t have to bring something really extravagant, do I?”

“Absolutely not,” I said. “Some people make desserts and some buy them from the store. And the funny thing is, with all the kids here, the store-bought stuff is usually the most popular.”

“Good, because I was thinking cookies,” Susan laughed. “Now, what are you making?”

“Um. Actually, I’m making a chocolate-glazed-coconut-almond-cake-with-white-chocolate-filling,” I said quickly.

“What? I thought you said the desserts weren’t extravagant!”

“Well, there’s this freak who comes every year and brings something really spectacular,” I explained. “So the first year we had our dessert party, I made something ordinary and she showed up with, like, a three-layer homemade German Chocolate Cake. And everyone was all, ‘Oh, Anne’s dessert is fabulous.’ “Have you tasted Anne’s cake?’ And I’m thinking, ‘You don’t know who you’re dealing with, bitch.’ So we’ve kind of competed every year since. Without saying anything about it, of course.”

Susan snorted.

“Oh my God,” she said. “That is hilarious.”

This is one reason why Susan and I get along so well. She thinks I’m funny, even though she’s a mommy. A lot of women seem to lose their sense of humor when they have babies. More and more, I’m met with a deafening silence when I use words like “bitch” or “asshole,” in front of a mom. But Susan thinks it’s funny, and since she’s going through a divorce, I figure she needs to laugh as much as possible.

But that’s not the point of this post. The point is that the Day of Dessert Reckoning is almost upon us, people. And my chocolate-glazed-coconut-almond-cake-with-white-chocolate-filling has got to win.

I made it for the first time at Thanksgiving, and although the glaze didn’t work out very well and I undercooked the cake itself enough that it sank and we called the whole thing Ugly Cake, it tasted fabulous. So I’m tweaking it a bit this time, replacing the glaze with a sure-thing chocolate frosting recipe if it doesn’t work out, and keeping my fingers crossed for award-winning results.

It’s agony not knowing what Anne is planning. My guess is that she’ll go with something more traditional, since her Autumn Trifle with Roasted Apples, Pears and Pumpkin Caramel Sauce last year tasted divine, but was mostly uneaten because of the strange look of it. Last year’s victory was extra sweet for me, because I hear she marinated the pears for two days. TWO DAYS. I mean, what does this beeyotch have against me? What did I ever do to her?

And yet, who cares, as long as I win?

Anyway, I may not be posting quite as much this week, what with the party and the baking and the in-laws coming on Thursday and the fact that both Baby and I have colds (this is my second cold in two weeks! What the hell?!). But if you think of me, dear readers, keep your fingers crossed that my chocolate-glazed-coconut-almond-cake-with-white-chocolate-filling causes Anne to tremble with outrage one. More. Time.