>A Stunning Turn of Events
>Question: What happens when a blogger takes her parents to her next-door-neighbors’ kid’s birthday party?
Answer: Someone will spill the beans about her blog!
Yes, friends, you’ll find that all nude pictures have been removed from Suburban Turmoil, along with the references to illicit drugs and wild partying.
The ‘rents are in the house.
I guess it was inevitable. I mean, once a distant cousin sent me an e-mail informing me that he’d added me to his Favorites list (Hi, Barry!), Mom and Dad were sure to follow, right? But still. Parents. Here. And the place is a mess.
When my dad asked me about my blog yesterday morning, I calmly told both of them all about it. And then I went into the bathroom and did a full-on Silent Scream.
Three times.
Thank God they decided not to read it while they were here. But late this afternoon, I got an e-mail from my mom. On my blog e-mail account. She said she’d been reading my blog all afternoon. And that felt really, really weird. Like that time she found a cigarette in my jeans back in high school and came to my room and just silently held it out in front of me.
But since my parents are now privy to everything from the time Baby said the f-word to the Great MOMS Club Throwdown, I might as well get a few more things out in the open.
1) I sold your ice cream maker at my last yard sale. It wasn’t technically for sale, but when someone offered cash money for it, the word “Sold!” just sprang from my mouth.
2) Mom, I don’t read most of the e-mail forwards you send me. If it makes you feel any better, I don’t read anyone’s forwards. I’ve gotten used to seeing yours in my inbox, though, so I don’t mind them. They let me know that you, um, have electricity.
3) When I come to your house in the winter time, I usually turn up the thermostat a few degrees at night after everyone’s gone to bed. So rude. I know.
4) I threw Mandy Thompson’s My Little Pony purse in the bushes after Wednesday night children’s choir when I was eight years old. And then I felt bad and told someone to tell her to look for it in the bushes. And she found it and I denied I had anything to do with it. But I did it. And I’d do it again. She was being a total brat that night.
5) I ran drugs between Puerto Rico and Athens for two years during college. How did you think I paid for all my bling?
Okay, so one of these confessions isn’t true. You’ll just have to guess which one.
Parents. This brings a whole new bizarre dynamic to blogging.
>You are a brave, brave soul. (Hi Lindsey’s Mom and Dad!)Me, on the other hand am soooo glad my mother doesn’t know about my blog. She already criticizes every. little. thing i do as a parent, imagine if she knew EVERYTHING I write down for the open world, but don’t tell her? *shudder*
>See, that’s why I have two 🙂 One for public happiness, and one not public for, um, yeah, the rest 😉
>My mom and brother read my blog at times. I’m just scared one day my in-laws will find it.3) When I come to your house in the winter time, I usually turn up the thermostat a few degrees at night after everyone’s gone to bed. So rude. I know.I do this in the summer. I live in Colorado and they live in Texas and it’s sooooo hot. I turn that cool air up at night and they finally cauaght me. :)GREAT post. Happy Click & Comment Monday.
>The same thing happened to me! I had been blogging for a couple of months when my mother found me on Google of all places! Needless to say, I had to go through every single one of my archives the instant I hung up the phone and purge any venting posts I might have written! Luckily, she did not know about the archives until about a month later and I hadn’t written anything recently about her.
>”BUSTED!” I hope this doesn’t “dull” your edge 😉
>Yikes! My mother reads my blog. It definitely puts a damper on any spicy topics I might want to write about. Not that my life is very spicy! Ha! 😉
>I totally do not believe that you sold that ice cream maker! I mean, who would do that! It’s just evil. Pure evil.
>Oh, dear. I would be in big doggy-doo if any member of my family found out I had a blog.I’ll just have to live vicariously through you.Mind you, my kids know I’m the Redneck mommy and it stands to reason, that oneday they will spill the beans.What a sad day that will be….
>oh dear god. i know that day may come for me someday, and it gives me spasms.*consolation pat-pat*
>My Bitch Sister (this is how I refer to her on my blog. She knows I hate her, it shouldn’t be a surprise) found my blog, and thus found the post I wrote about baby-sitting her kids. I don’t use anyone’s names on my blog other than Jack and Joe, and I said the kids weren’t all that bad, it was just overwhelming, but she absolutely LOST it. Called my mom and screamed at her to tell me to fix it, tried calling me but as I don’t speak to her I didn’t answer the phone.I ended up taking the post down, but for my mother since I’d quoted her and it made her uncomfortable.In the middle of this my mom showed my dad the post to see if he thought I had been out of line (neither of them thought I had).Then I realized my dad knew about the existence of my blog, the week after I posted about having had Chlamydia years ago.Mortifying.
>Ha…drug running…all of my family reads mine. But since I don’t censor myself anywhere anymore, it doesn’t really matter.Hi Mom and Dad!!
>That is my worst nightmare, but strangely I am laughing maniacally right now. Yikes. I have not even told my friends for fear they will recognize my children. And, God knows, I won’t tell my children. Imagine the hell they would/will put us all through in 10 or more years! Hang in there.
>My mom has always known of my blog. She reads it daily. Do I find this limiting?You betcha. Lucky for me my mother-in-law can’t work a computer.
>My whole world reads my blog. I’ve just decided that I can say what I want and they can read it or not.I don’t think you threw that purse in the bushes… hahaha….
>I regret every mentioning to my parents that I have a blog. there are soooooo many things I can’t write about…
>HAHAHAHAHA. My Dad reads mine. I had no idea until I found it on his computer under his favorites. And mine is a knitting blog. Really, WHY is my dad reading a knitting blog? Mom knits and she doesn’t read it. But still, I have to censor myself. I can just see a post saying something about Mom and Dad yelling out “Honey, you gotta read this” UGH!
>And this, this is why I’m so glad that my dad refuses to even allow the internet into his home. Actually, when I write I keep in mind, “Could I let my grandfather read what I wrote, and not be mortified?” If the answer is yes, then I go ahead and hit publish. I also try not to say anything about anyone that I wouldn’t say to their face. Or blog about work. I keep a paper journal for all the really personal stuff like that. Yes, it’s a little limiting sometimes, but it also helps me be more creative in what I do write about. And it saves me from going back and deleting a lot of posts in the future!
>OMG, I can relate. I have two blogs. I let my online gamer friend look at one and he spilled the beans to my online flirtation object that I had mentioned him in my blog…. The OFO freaked out because our flirtation was secret. It was totally by accident…Not as dramatic as having my mother read my blog, but still disturbing.
>Oh my….I can relate. I do not tell anyone in my real life about my blog but so far, some have managed to find it.I am pretty sure my daughter reads it but she never mentions it. I see an ISP from her area but there are never any comments and the times match up when she is home from work or school. (I confess, I read her My Space!)A local gal, very former friend, found my blog and commented on the ONE post that could have been more or less about her. She figured it out and left a “thank you” (insert saracasm) comment. (I deleted it) Of course, it was also about another person but if the shoe fits…..My biggest fear is if the Man finds it. I have to have something he is not privvy to!Not that I write anything that spicy or whatever, it is just the idea. It is sort of like my diary. You can read it if I tell you where the key is but you just happen to see it laying around, don’t open it!
>I’ve told one sister about my blog, and am 100% fine with her reading it. However, I don’t think I’d want to share it with other family members. Hubby and his son read it, and I read theirs. I’ve thought about doing both a public and private blog, and am still considering that. But then again, I don’t post as often as I used to, so I’m not sure if having more places to write would be a good idea or just guilt-producing.And, Lindsey’s Mom & Dad? Your daughter absolutely ROCKS. She’s talented, creative, and honest in a way that truly helps other women. You should be proud!!!
>it had better be the last one!my kids all read my blog and it does stop me from really letting it all out at times, but won’t be be a much easier way to tell her things? and wonder if she reads the comments?hi mom!
>I came out of the blogger closet to my parents right off the bat, then posted things that they found embarrassing and outrageous. They soon lost interest in reading anything on the blog.Plus, I told Mom about a week after she figured out how to email to quit forwarding the dumb shit she gets from her friends. It is usually all pointless urban legends and chain letters that the elderly send each other.It is important to set boundaries.
>Oh, wow! My mom knows that I have a blog and once asked if I had ever written anything about her.I lowered my eyes, turned all shades of red and answered, “um, no?”Needless to say, she didn’t buy it!Ah well, what’s she gonna do? Send me to my room? Wash my mouth out with soap?Heh.
>Gah! I’d just have to pack up and move to a new URL if it were me.
>Sometimes I’m glad my parents know about the blog and other times…well…not so much!
>I ran drugs between Puerto Rico and Athens for two years during college. How did you think I paid for all my bling?Thats the one. theres no traffic between Puerto Rico and Athens, maybe others countries. 🙂
>Well, damn. My cover’s blown.
>I was wondering how you managed to keep it from them for so long. I told mine right away when I started blogging (recently). I decided to take it on as a challenge…to try and write in a way that would not offend relatives. It’s hard to do that and still be interesting. But, I’ve made a total ass out of myself just writing emails, so felt the need to retrain myself to be more careful. I’m often tempted to start another, more secret, blog. But they’re never secret! Now my problem is I don’t think my parents even bother to read it, which kind of makes me miffed since everything I write has to be parent-proof.
>Okay, so the first thing I did was read all the comments here to see if your mom had commented.She would made a damn good blogger. Hope she chimes in.
>When I started my blog, it was because we were moving out of state, and I figured that this would be much better than the “Christmas letters” that others send out (we used to get one from my wife’s financial advisor).Yes, I would love to have something salacious to write, but then again, I’m pretty much middle of the road.I know my parents, my in-laws, my brother-in-law and various people I met in the blogverse read it, and am not ashamed about anything I’ve written.Keep up the good work.mG
>My little old Granny reads mine.
>I was open about my blog in the first few weeks, but none of my friends or family looked at it. So I sort of forgot about them. Until one time, my friend got mad that I’d cancelled on our plans at the last minute because we were all so exhausted. The next night we went to a party and I blogged about it ’cause it was a bit weird. So when my friend got mad at me, she also added in her disappointment that I didn’t say anything about her on my blog. After I got off the phone I saw my stats go through the roof that day and the next as she read every single post I’d ever written. It felt creepy. I seriously considered moving to a new url but I knew she’d mention it so I didn’t. On a completely unrelated subject, can anyone make a nomination for a perfect post award? What’s the process? Thanks…
>Yeah it really changes things when you have people you know reading what you write. Good luck!
>My mom reads my blog and it is, um, awkward.Good luck!
>Cinnamon Gurl, send me an e-mail to lucindathemom@yahoo.com and I’ll send you the instructions.
>It doesn’t bother me that my mother reads my blog, as she’s got me figured out pretty well. I could even handle it when my sister-in-law started reading it, but when she told her parents I kinda freaked. I mean I swear, I make sexist comments and post pictures of half-nekkid men!! And my m-i-l is the most proper woman on the planet!I thought about toning it down but then decided my blog reflects who I am and if they hadn’t figured me out by now it was about time they did. They could take me or leave me. Now my f-i-l is one of my biggest fans, and I’m so glad I don’t have to hide. Although I still occasionally cringe when I think of my m-i-l reading something racy…And there’s no way you told someone where to find Mandy’s purse! 🙂
>Someday this will be my fate as well. Nicely handled! 🙂
>It’s bound to happen to all of us sooner or later. Ugh. I dread it. You handled it nicely though! Hopefully, your parents will get bored and stop reading. Right?
>It’s just a matter of time now before your Mom has her own blog…Can’t wait to watch all of this unfold!Never a dull moment here!!
>OMG, my entired immediate and extended family, as well as church members (um, INCLUDING ministers and deacons) and co-workers are aware of my blog. I await repercussions every time I use the word “suck.” But for me? It’s absolutely the only way I can function, just all out in the open. My mom ingrained that whole honesty thing into me too well. TOO WELL.But the main reason is that I could never, in a million years, keep up with the clandestinism. Never. Not sharp enough to be a double-naught spy, me.
>Heck, my folks read my blog. Which is fine with me since I don’t really call them at all. They can stay connected and I don’t have to talk with them on the phone!
>I had a blog on blogspot, and I’d invited my family to read it. After a few months, I grew really annoyed at the comments that were left by them, and so I closed up shop. I moved to a different blog, and didn’t tell anyone. Of course, that didn’t stop my sister from spending months of her time LOOKING, finding me and sending it to my entire family.Yeah, THAT was fun.
>My dad reads my blog. I do pull some punches. Like not calling my mom a pathological shopoholic.
>LOLOLOLOL!
>why am i as freaked out about this as i would be if my own parents found my blog? fuck. does this mean we can’t swear in our comments now? shit. ack! it’s like i suddenly can’t stop!by the way, LOVED your confessions. 🙂
>My 80 year old aunt reads my blog.Daily.I try not to let it censor me, but it’s might hard.
>sheesh. Mighty hard. Damn typo
>BEen there, Lindsay. And yeah, it does change what you blog about…but so far it hasn’t been a huge problem. Hang in there…who would have thought they’d start reading NOW, after all this time!? Welcome, parents!!
>No, no, no, no, NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I love my ‘rents so much it hurts, but NO!I’ve written about them in glowing terms, but still NO!Oh wow. I’m trying to catch my breath. Are you going to change your writing style now? Please don’t. Please don’t. Oh god no.