>The Nanny
>I was sitting in the waiting room of my obstetrician’s office when I heard it.
“This is my nanny.”
I whipped around to see a well-to-do woman signing in at the front desk. Beside her stood a girl holding the baby carrier. She was impossibly young with long, platinum blonde hair, a cute little outfit and tons of makeup. She was everything a nanny shouldn’t be.
Is that mom nuts?! I asked myself, staring at her skeptically over my American Baby magazine. How many salacious Inside Edition exclusives about the wealthy new dad who left his wife for the gorgeous young nanny would it take to get through to this woman? Tell me I’m not the only one who’s chuckled after seeing the pictures of these so-called nannies with their boob jobs and their silky hair and their smouldering eyes and thought, Well, the wife was practically asking for it by hiring that minx in the first place.
I mean, we all want to trust our husbands and I certainly trust mine, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to hire a Playmate-in-training to take care of my kids. Nor would I expect my husband to be too happy if I announced that I’d taken on this new butler/personal assistant, Lars von Lars:
Or you could always opt for someone a little more exotic.
Or adventurous…
And I even found a little something for the ladies.
What I couldn’t find was the nanny I would totally hire if I had the cash. She’s a lovely woman…
…at least on the inside.
>Thats funny. Maybe the mother is just as hot or divorced or better still a lesbian/bi. Not too sure about that mexican guy, he looked a bit suss but I’d definetly take Lars.
>Linds – Okay, so a little birdie told me that this trip to the doctor resulted in the news about the sex of your baby!! Okay, so it was your proud husband who told my husband – How could you let the gossip mill run through the non-gossipy MEN without sharing the info on your blog with us girly girls?! Just kidding – I love your blog – Congrats – Share the news!
>You’re just going to have to wait until next Wednesday… Sorry! 🙂
>There is no way in h-e-double hockey sticks I’d ever hire a gorgeous nanny. Those women need to be off doing porn or something, far away from my family!
>I have it on full authority that it is a boy or a girl.
>Bwah! I can’t imagine…..
>Really, what could be better than bad post-partum depresion, maybe a little extra weight and an incredibly hot blond supermodel nanny running around the house? What could possibly go wrong there? Which is why I hired a male nanny, and my husband fully trusts me with our new nanny, George Clooney.
>I had no idea you could hire an au pair that looks like that.I think my wife needs a little help around the house. All I need is a little cash. Let’s see- I could skip eating… then I’d be thinner…O.K. This is going to work out well. Thanks, Lindsay!
>i can’t help but notice they are all willing to do “housework”, that seems pretty vague to me. my kids are all old enough now that i don’t need a nanny, but i’m sure my 21 year old daughter would be happy to be looked after lars.
>This was great, I clicked on every link. The one that cracked me up was the girl who disclosed her love of lip gloss! LOL..?? And that is something a prospective parent MUST KNOW when looking for someone to manage their family.. Oh my..hahaha…
>Ok, was that a real site? Or a clever internet spoof? It looks like a dating site. That was hilarious.
>Ha! It didn’t exactly hurt me that ours, while live-out so much less likely to be a temptation, was also not exactly Misterpie’s cuppa… You know Jude Law is reading this and scanning theads now, right?
>That is totally a real site. Yick.
>Those photos are very discouraging, indeed. Not that a nanny must be ugly, but to sell yourself as a nanny with those photos? Not on your life!
>My kid is 16. Think I could talk my wife into the Swedish nanny? We could use a little help with the housework.
>I don’t get why the girls were posting modeling photos for nanny jobs. Of course the guy could have taken a better picture than the self portrait with sunglasses. LOL!I haven’t seen the movie, but I would still take Nanny McPhee (sp?) over all of them!
>Oh that’s what I need, a bikini model nanny doing housework in a pair of hot pants and a halter top OMG!!! If my husband ever hired someone like that to “help” I’d bitch slap him so hard he’d LAND in Sweden….
>OMG – that whole au pair site freaked me out .. it was like a singles/swapping listing.”Hi, I like babies, and blue eyes and i’ve got a pouty mouth”Um, no.I expected to see Mrs Doubtfire when I scrolled down. I think i’d like Mrs Doubtfire to come look after my kids .. 😉
>Mrs. Doubtfire is even better. But I heard she had a sex change…
>See, that’s not a website for nannies. That is a shopping mall for daddies disguising itself as a nannie seeking families website. No way. The pictures of the girls on that website are much more “MySpace-esque” than “I’m a good child care provider and won’t sleep with your husband”.
>I know this is awful, but I try not to hire babysitters sho are too attractive. Not because of my husband, but because I don’t need them getting a boyfriend and having their weekends tied up.Those nights are for me!!The selfish but realistic mom,Anne Glamore
>I do the same thing- because I don’t want some girl who’s going to invite her boyfriend over or be on the phone all night with her friends- and the pretty ones do stuff like that. Seriously.
>Um. No, hell no, no, a little too cut for my tastes, she’s perfect. And did you catch ER two weeks ago when Abby had the little au pair run-in at the sand box?Asking for it is putting it nicely.
>I had no idea about all of this. I saw ER the other week and thought it was pretty funny! One of the many reasons I am glad I never needed a nanny! Unless it was that hot young guy…him I might be willing to have around the house. Maybe.
>Not in my house! No freakin way.
>OMG, are those au pairs or escorts?? My favorite is “Bianca” who says “I don’t have this nose ring anymore.” WTF?? A woman would be out of her mind to hire a hot nanny. I wonder if there are actually couples who seek out a hot nanny for a little three-way fun. That just seems so wrong.
>so very close to home right now.
>Fun post. It was fun to read, and to be honest, its exactly how I feel!But then again, While I am no playmate,Im also, no Nanny-Mcphee! What I do hope most moms look for in a nanny, whether we be stunning, pretty, average or hideous is capability to take care of their children. Now, I might not be a size 2 or even a 22, but I sure am a good nanny. Probably the best there is. And luckily for me, my boss is cute, but my husband is hot. Lucky me!Love the blog and cant wait to read more.
[…] The Nanny ‹ Suburban TurmoilOct 28, 2006 … “This is my nanny.” I whipped around to see a well-to-do woman signing in at the front desk. Beside her stood a girl holding the baby … […]