>Mommy Needs Medication
>Join any largish group of moms for any length of time and inevitably, the subject of mommies on meds will eventually come up. According to the most recent survey I could find, eleven percent of American women are on anti-depressants- I imagine a large concentration of that percentage resides in the suburbs and gentrified areas of the larger cities.
Indisputably, medications like Zoloft and Welbutrin and Paxil have helped plenty of women feel better and lead more productive lives. And I think it’s awesome that so many people are writing about their anti-depressant experiences and destigmatizing once-taboo subjects like post partum depression. Reading some of your blogs helped me recognize the symptoms of PPD in myself, talk about them both with you and my family, and understand what I was going through, as opposed to just thinking I had permanently turned into the World’s Biggest Bitch.
The flip side of all this talking, though, is that I often feel in listening to other women that taking what I consider to be pretty serious medications has turned into a joke or a cop out. Having a few bad days? Get some happy pills! And don’t worry about mixing alcohol with them; everyone else does it! I also think some doctors are too quick to prescribe anti-depressants, often without the patient even realizing what she’s getting into. Read a few message boards on anti-depressants. Even for those who are glad they’re taking them, the side effects can be pretty harsh.
Without judging anyone in particular (after all, I can’t know what goes on behind your closed doors or what you do or don’t need in order to be a good mom to your family), it seems pretty clear from the sheer numbers of us on, for example, anti-depressants, that moms in general are overmedicated. And that’s what this week’s Suburban Turmoil newspaper column is about. Give it a read and then tell me what you think about the whole thing.
>I have kind of noticed that there seems to be an inordinately high number of mommy/woman-centric blogs I read who happen to be openly admitting to being on some sort of anti-anxiety/anti-depressant medication. Including myself. i don’t know what this means exactly. Are those of us who blog, many of whom say we do it for the catharsis, the sharing, the stress relief and sisterhood, just more damaged in some way and therefore likely to need these drugs? Or are we, as my doctor says, just in a rough place in our lives, juggling kids and lives and expectations of a generation where it’s harder than it ever has been before? Is it comparable to the stats that say many kids are over diagnosed and drugged as ADD/ADHD just because they are a little more active and have less physical fitness time during the day than kids used to? Does this drugging of the American Mommy mean that less babies are being drowned in the bathtub or thrown of the San Francisco pier? I don’t know. But like you, I find it interesting to note.
>I think what used to be before dinner cocktails or martinis is now anti-anxiety meds. With wine.It does seem much more common these days.
>I’ve noticed that too, Jenny, and I’ve wondered if those of us who love to write are by nature perhaps more introspective, “sensitive souls” and more prone to depression and/or anxiety? I don’t know.But I’ve also noticed just as a mom how quick both my OB and my pediatrician were to assure me that if I experienced ANY symptoms of PPD to tell my doctor because, “there are medicines for that.” And I sort of wanted to say, “Well what about counseling? Is there counseling for that?” You wouldn’t BELIEVE how hard it is to get an appointment with an HMO-covered counselor or psychiatrist, and at the same time how EASY it is to get a prescription for anti-depressants. It’s the path of least resistance. And that’s partially what worries me.
>I think we’re a quick fix society. My son’s grade 3 teacher, at the first interview, suggested Ritalin.I’m not too shocked that it spills over to the parents, too.
>Great article. I admit that I've tried Xanax twice. The first time, I didn't even know what I was swallowing. No joke. I was in the midst of law school finals and my Grandmother listened to me pace the halls of her home all night worrying over these exams. So one night when I came in from school, she left a pill and a glass of water on my nightstand with a note saying, "swallow this and sweet dreams". God bless that woman. I slept and passed my exams! In the morning she told me to put on my "big girl panties" and get over it. "Life is hard sometimes, but with Jesus all things are possible." Again, God bless that woman.The second and last time I swallowed a Xanax was last summer in the midst of planning my wedding and building our home, the planning/crap hit the fan. Once again, Grandma talked me through my worries only to then rear-end my car on the same day. To say the least we were both nervous wrecks by the afternoon and when we got home she decided that we both deserved a little Xanax. As all the family came in to check on us, they couldn't help but laugh at us. The sight of Grandma & her Grandchild "a little high". It's not something you see everyday. Then we both put on our big girl panties and faced the world head on with our Hope set on things above!All of that just to say, ask for counseling. Demand counseling and put on your big girl panties for crying out loud.
>My response to your post got so big I just posted about it on my blog. Thanks for writing this.
>This is a great article. I’ve been outright alarmed a few times recently when the topic of antidepressants comes up with my friends. A high percentage are on them, and seem to have no desire to get off them. And these are not all introspective writer types. It seems, like you said, the minute someone has a few bad days, everyone is telling her to go get meds. I’m not saying these drugs don’t have value, but I think too many people are using them and worse, using them long-term without exploring counseling or other options to fix what’s making them depressed or anxious. It’s like they’re treating the symptoms but not the cause.
>I’ve had anxiety issues/panic attacks since I was a child of 4 (I am 33 now)- it runs in my family in a big way. I have been resisting medication/therapy for a while because I thought I could just get over it. But, now I realize the panic attacks are starting to become a quality of life issue. I deserve to live a life free from fear and anxiety. I don’t need to live a life where the mere mention of a trip out of state or flying on an airplane sends me into terror. I had a panic attack the other night that woke me up from a dead sleep and I realized that is no way to live. So, I am biting the bullet and going to a Psychiatrist. I do think medication is over prescribed these days, but I also think women are under a lot of pressure (sometimes self-imposed) to be the perfect wife/mother/person. You have to be a MILF and live through your children. It just gets old. I don’t subscribe to this theory but in my readings and discussions with others I see how it can be very overwhelming if you do believe the hype. I think as a society we are also more isolated and we don’t have anyone to tell us what parts of adulthood/child rearing are normal or can commiserate with us. But, there also have been things like “Mother’s Little Helpers” since the beginning of time, we just talk about it more now.
>I noticed, too, for a lot of years that there are an awful lot of people on antidepressants. And I also noticed for a lot of years that my doctors very often when I came in for “racing heart” or “can’t breathe at night” and “too tired to get anything done” etc asked me “How’s your moods” or “How is your home life” etc.. I ended up in the emergency room more times than I’d care to admit with a difficulty breathing or a racing heart or blacking out (likely hyperventilation). When I’d follow up with my docs the next day or so they’d all want to medicate me and I would get so very offended. “I’m not crazy! There’s something wrong with my HEALTH!” And I wanted them to find what that thing is that is killing me. I went through doctor after doctor because I was tired of some “man” labeling me a “crazy woman” and trying to medicate me. I was raised by a single father, in the south and had a largely male family. It was mostly a belief that “crazy meds” are for “crazy people” and were used as an insult. “You need to talk to a doctor to get you some happy pills because there’s sum-thin wrong wid yeew”. I spent most of my life thinking that way so you can imagine when those doctors suggested meds to me how offended I was.It wasn’t until in the last two years that I watched my older children only getting older and me being totally incapable of just “snapping out of it”. I am lucky because I am not always depressed but I go through some very high highs and very low lows. And my lows…they’re bad. They’re so bad that I have hidden from people. Turned the ringer off on my telephones. Called in sick to work. Sending my children off to “go play”. And I know what you’re thinking, or I think I do. “You can’t do that. Just DO what you need to DO! Be responsible and don’t blame your health!” Or maybe I’m projecting. And that’s ok. I’m comfortable knowing that. Before having kids if I had a headache I could go take a nap. No need to pop a Tylenol, you know? Now? I don’t nap whenever I want. Actually naps aren’t something I even get a glimpse at. So Tylenol it is. And now that I have kids I can’t just go check out. I can’t hide in my room. I can’t drink a gallon of vodka at night because I just need to escape my mind. I’m forced to address my “issues” for what they are. I FINALLY, in the last few weeks, started taking Zoloft. I’d been told to take it months ago while pregnant and I refused. Even though I’d finally gotten to the point that I knew my doctor was right but I couldn’t live with the thought that it MIGHT effect my baby. So I waited it out until I wasn’t pregnant any more and I started them. I started them in the middle of a huge low and in about a week I was starting to feel a little more “normal”. I still feel shame for “giving up” or “taking the easy way out”. But I am thinking that shame is nothing in comparison to the shame I’ll feel if I somehow fail my children because I am physically not able to just “snap out of it”. You know? I started a hidden blog so I could watch my moods and compare them with my older posts from my other blogs to see what I think. So far? I’m very proud of finally being able to crawl out of my mind long enough to function. And I notice that this started for me WAY before I had children. Actually somewhere around puberty things got pretty bad. They weren’t always so bad so I managed to muddle along like a “normal person”. I just didn’t care to address it until I became a mother and felt an obligation to my children to get some help and not follow the path my Mother did. My Mother is a recovered alcoholic and she is a textbook case of a manic depressed person. She was out of my life by the time I was seven because she couldn’t stop drinking. (We are fine now…but I don’t want to repeat her mistakes…I’ll make my very own, thanks. haha) I realize that, yes, there was something wrong with my health. I’m not “crazy”. I needed help. And from what I can tell I’ve likely needed it for a long time. But I was too afraid of being that cliche. Maybe the reason doctors are so “want a pill want a pill want a pill” are because they know the people who really need it likely won’t ask for it until it is too late? I wonder, like you, if there are people who don’t need it who are taking it. But truth be told, for the people like me who DO need it and were afraid? I hope that those doctors who are making it easier and easier to pop a pill are taking away the stigma some and not making it worse by making it so readily available. But who am I to say that those people don’t really “need” it? Maybe those jokes about their “happy pill” are their way of trying to mask their shame? And I notice a lot of the blogs out there of people who are on meds. I think you’re on to something (or the previous commenter is) that maybe it is the type of person that wants or needs to blog that needs to talk? Like that song lyrics that says, “If I get it all down it’s no longer inside of me threatening the life it belongs to”? Maybe? I don’t know. I’m no expert on any of it. I’m still a work in progress. I hope I don’t ever have to make jokes about my “happy pill”. Hopefully I’ll just take my meds without any mention of my need for it because my medical needs are really my business and don’t need to be advertised. Or maybe I owe it to those in pain that I see like I was to say, “You don’t have to go through this! You’re not weak for needing help!” I don’t know.Great post. Definitely made me think some. I’m sorry for the book but it’s hard to condense my thoughts on this subject and I likely should have just posted a blog post and linked here. But I’m still scared of “coming out”.
>I have also noticed that anti-depressants have become a joke amongst mommys (myself included) and because of that fought for years to stay off the meds.When I had PPD my doctor wanted to put me on medication but I would have to give up breastfeeding so I chose to breastfeed and lived a miserable life.Fast forward several years later and I’m on Zoloft. It’s a small enough dosage that I feel like I’m alive and not trying to kill myself but not so much that I walk around with this dazed look in my eyes like other moms I have seen.My doctor also told me how to wean myself off of it if I decide I don’t need to take it anymore. He knows that I didn’t want to have to resort to medication in order to get through life but also knows that I am exercising and eating better so that I won’t have to always be on the meds.I have suffered from depression for most of my life and when I became open about it I found out that it runs in my family.This was an interesting and thought provoking post. I am looking forward to seeing what others have to say.
>I’m just curious about how many of you who are on anti-depressants are also getting counseling or seeing a therapist. I would think the two would or should go hand in hand?
>Any reputable psychiatrist you speak with will tell you that medication is a complement to talk therapy. Medication isn’t something to be taken on a whim or to stop taking just because you don’t feel like it any longer. I agree with you that too many people are medicated. Most people who actually need to be medicated do not want the medication for fear that they will never be “normal” without it.Getting real help takes a lot of work and our society would much rather just take a pill.
>I’m so glad that you are bringing up this topic. I hadn’t noticed that others had mentioned their experience with anti-depressants or anti-anxiety meds and haven’t brought up my experience yet (on my blog).My family has a history of depression and my sister and I participated in a study when we were both in college that led us to believe (we were able to receive the results of the study) that not only are these issues common among women, but are certainly genetic in nature.I have been taking Paxil-CR for over a year now and couldn’t imagine my life without it. Prior to that I had tried Wellbutrin for a while and had moderate success with that. (I was in college at the time and mixing that with alcohol was not good.)My sister recently had her second baby and while she was taking time off for the meds during pregnancy, she’s back on them now so that the post-partum depression doesn’t affect her (as it did me when I was trying to convince myself I could handle it “naturally”).I encourage anyone who has suffered from depression or anxiety to seek help but be sure to ask questions and know what you’re getting into before you start taking any pills.There are many different types of drugs out there and not every one is right for you but they do help.I think that it is healthy to be open and up front about our “issues” so that others suffering from the same symptoms may feel encouraged to pursue the choices available to them.
>Oops. I was going to address that part but I’d already written a novel. I did go to quite a bit of couseling. As a kid of a parent in AA I felt more comfortable eventually talking to someone. Once I got older I’d quietly go visit someone, too, and not tell my family about it. The problem I had with counseling at those times was that I felt this obligation to “get over it” because I had talked and talked and self discovered until I was blue in the face and their ears had likely fallen off. (likely more projection but it it is what it is) Then I moved on to talking to friends until I felt the shame of being that annoying person who always lived in her own head and was “that” person. You know the ones. So after the real life friends I moved on to the online world. I have several friends online that I’d talked to and talked to until even they keep saying, “GET SOME HELP”. I lied to those friends and told them I had and just stopped talking. Should I also go to a counselor now? Maybe. Maybe now I can finally move past it all if I went and sat down and talked it out. But I no longer feel like it is something that’s happened to me that I can just “talk” through. It’s not trying to discover who I am. It’s not because my Mom left when I was a kid. It wasn’t because of what had happened. It was because my body was kicking my mind’s ass on a daily basis no matter what I do. I’ve also tried exercise. Tried going back to work and not being a stay at home mother. Eating “right”. Vitamins and health kicks. Believe me, I wanted nothing more than to never pop a pill that has the potential to give me unwanted side effects, ya know?I don’t know if I would benefit from counseling, too. Maybe later on in all this I’ll find out or maybe I’ll be just fine and I’ve finally found what it is I need. We’ll see. I’m not a person who takes “taking a pill” lightly. And I still hope that someday I won’t need them. Now, for myself I don’t know if I may benefit from it some day BUT I think that choice is about me and whatever it takes to make me a helpful member or society that is not lost eternally? I should not be shamed. That it would be better for those people who do need help if they don’t have to feel ashamed by people saying “We want to take a pill” because, no, a great many of us DON’T want to take a pill. And it isn’t helpful to have someone blame you for struggling. We don’t know from person to person what the deal is and it’s an unfair thing to say. It’s my opinion, and take it for what it is, mine, (the opinion of a “crazy person”) that it adds to the stigma to tell people there is a “problem”. Like I said before, who are we to decide what a person needs medically? Seriously.
>Or maybe I feel a tad defensive still? *blushing*In any event, great post. It is good to explore these things because there is obviously issues out there.
>There are certainly lots of complicated problems with overprescription, self-medication, etc. that the medical community is always haas to deal with, and it’s even more complicated with psychiatric medicine, but I learned long ago that it’s always best not to judge. Probably there are a healthy (no pun intended) portion of people that are scarily quick to over(ab)use medication so that you can’t HELP but think of “soma”, but you’ll never really know.It’s one of those areas where, you know.. if it works for you, it works. If it works for me, it works. I prefer to stuff my mental anguish deep down inside and let it manifest in a growing sense of misanthropy and cynicism, but that’s just me.
>*Are* issues. Not “is”. Jeez.Ok, I’ll stop now.
>Me again! I believe it is very important to have a two part approach to easing psychiatric issues. I guess my reluctance to get back into talk therapy/medication is because I have been there/done that in high school. Like psychiatric hospitalization done that. But, I finally realize that I have a mental illness that won’t go away, no matter how much I diet or exercise or positive self-talk. I am missing important chemicals in my brain. My first priority is getting into talk therapy and if meds come into play, then so be it. But, I find it dangerous to just get medication prescribed willy nilly without some form of psychiatric care.
>My story – I had Baby #2 in May. After enduring 6 weeks of 24/7 excruciating headache, I was referred to a neurologist for an MRI. MRI showed brain lesions indicitive of MS and/or migraines. Spinal tap showed no MS. Migraine was the official d/x, although I wasn’t having a single migraine symptom. The doctor wrote me a script for Cymbalta – an antidepressant. WTF? I’m not depressed – I’m a SAHM of 2 under 2, so a little nutty, perhaps, but not depressed. I’m a psychologist – I *know* the warning signs of depression. I was appalled. I’m not one to deny others of their problems/issues, but are American mothers overmedicated? Absolutely.
>I was on 150mg of Zoloft a day in my 20’s. That is some heavy duty stuff. I hated being on any kind of pill, the cost was more than a poor college student could managed (I had to buy 2 scripts in order to get my appropriate dose), the weight gain wasn’t fun (Drs didn’t believe that it was from the drug. I said I ain’t happy enough to gain 20 lbs in one month.)and the worst was that I paid a high fluting Psych for my script and she saw me all of 5 minutes. I paid for a full hour. If I was older, I would have been better at saying something to her, but it was all new to me and you live and you learn.I refuse to go on anything ever again, no matter what the cool kids are doing. And my husband will tell you I am a raging bitch while pregnant and about a year after (breastfeeding). However, it was nothing compared to the depression I felt in college, so i deal. I have found a therapist that helps to smack me out of my emotional gutter and doesn’t believe in medicinal help. She does believe in vitamins and excercise, but not in a Tom Cruise crazy kind of way. I mean there are so serious whack-a-doodles out there and for all our sakes they need some drugs.I think people need to think long and hard before they take these drugs. I am shock that you can even get them from a regular dr. They do help, but without getting to the root of your problem it will always be there. Until you understand why you are depressed, happiness will never find you.
>I am on anti-depressants and my dr did suggest counseling and I said, no thanks.I believe my prob is a chemical imbalance and no amount of talking is going to change that. I’m grateful for my meds, and not ashamed to admit it.
>I’m thinking counseling while taking anti-depressants would be appropriate more for monitoring the depression/anxiety and judging whether the patient still needs to be on the drug or the dosage needs to be adjusted.Even though I knew I would likely experience PPD after my second child because of the experience I had after my first, I still had a hard time acknowledging my emotions as PPD and not “my self” while I was wrapped up in it. Therapy would have been really helpful at that point so that an expert could have helped me monitor my reactions.But the reality is that I don’t think there would be enough doctors out there to handle appointments with every patient on anti-depressants.And again, I’m certainly not judging anyone in particular who is using anti-depressants and finding them helpful. Just discussing this in the comments, I think much of my issue comes with doctors wanting to write us a prescription for our problems because they’re too busy even to sit down and talk with us about them. And then we end up with moms on meds who don’t really need them, and that’s bothersome.
>This post and your article are right on. There are people who need meds to function. That is totally different from people who are using meds to avoid dealing with the real issues in their lives. I’ve had pretty serious depression. Like, wanting to drive into a tree, cry or scream all the time, make the pain stop depression. My GP wanted to put me on meds and I took the prescription. But one friend (who’s been through depression herself and who has family experience with severe mental illness) cautioned me about side effects (which the doc NEVER mentioned) and suggested I try some supplements first. I started taking a good B-complex (with a high percentage of biotin), a good multi, and magnesium at night. Three days later I felt like a new person. With no side effects. I never filled the RX. (I will add that I saw a counselor at one point and she did not recommend medication for me.)Now I find the best remedies for depression for me (remember, I’m talking general malaise, not clinical depression) are good nutrition and meditation. I know that sounds dumb, but if I start spiraling down, I know I need to take my B-complex and spend some time clearing my head.I do think it’s important to talk about PPD and other mental illnesses and give women (and men and children) help and relief. Because, as my friend says, sometimes you just need to quiet the other voices so you can hear yourself think. But if we’re all so miserable, maybe there’s something deeper going on under the surface?
>I take a anti anxiety medication for Migraine Disease. I thought I just was getting alot of headaches, then they started knocking me out, because the pain was so intense. Long story short I ended up at UCLA seeing a Brain specialist. Mri’s were good. He dianosed me Migraine disease and prescibed Pamelar and and for the first time in years I went headache free. I weaned myself off because I felt better then they came back. He said I was born with migraines and that when I had a headache it was actually a migraine. My pain tolerance was so high I didn’t notice how bad it was until they started knocking me out. Now a days we all lead such a busy life and worrying about everyday stresses out. Counceling wasn’t needed in this situation, but I have had counceling in the past. And normally I wouldn’t mention it, I don’t know why some women announce their meds. What’s the point? I would think it would sound better to be drug free right?
>I lied. I’m back. I hope that’s ok.I cant help but think about those situations on the news where there were clues that “she needed help”. That things had gone off the rails. Had her regular doctor noticed and offered her meds would she have still run off those rails? I realize that is an extreme scenario but doctors can often read the signs based on seeing you. Like my doctors seeing me when I had a “racing heart” etc After repeated visits and ruling out a heart issue it was clear to several doctors what it was. And it was also clear I didn’t think more therapy would help. I ditched those docs. Maybe it is easier to convince someone to try a medicine than it is to convince them to take off of work or find a sitter and go to therapy? And I don’t know that it is a “people want a pill to fix it” type thing so much as people in the midst of the issue don’t realize it is a mental health issue until they are given some perspective. Be that time or medication. Which could contribute to being over medicated as a society. But rather than the possible extreme alternative I believe many doctors take their chances with making patients too mellow or whatever.Awesome topic, Lindsay. I’ve really enjoyed the comments. I’ve been checking back all day.
>I had postpartum depression. The doctor gave me Zoloft and sent me to a counselor. It was horrible. The counselor was horrible. I made my way through it, but God knows how. Later I was tested for, and was diagnosed with low thyroid. Just a simple blood test could have avoided the emotional torment I put myself and husband through.Down the road we had a rather sudden death in the family that crushed me. I couldn’t deal with it normally as I was part of the support system in place, so I went to my doctor. I said, “I want to go to a psychologist who is hesitant to prescribe medication.” I met the most wonderful therapist in the world. If I hit a rough patch again I know the exact steps I am going to take. Diet, exercise and heavy therapy before pills.
>This was really interesting. I’m not a Mom, so I can’t speak from that perspective, but this really scares me. It seems like the prevailing attitude is that it’s easiest to just pop some pills and fix things–forget counseling or making changes. Don’t get me wrong, I get that there are some people for whom psychotropic medications are a godsend that enable to them to live a normal life–but most of those people tend to use medication in combination with therapy and other treatments. Which makes sense.I was on anti-depressants in my late teens. I went to therapists and was just told to take the pills. I hated them. I went from feeling anxious and depressed to feeling flat and emotionless. I just didn’t care. This is a pretty bad way to be during your junior and senior year of high school and a lot of the decisions I made are still haunting me, and I wish that I had been able to make different ones. The fact was, I knew what I needed, and that was to get out of the high school and city I was in. Once I did that, the depression pretty much lifted, and I found out several years later that the anxiety was related to dietary issues and have managed to get that under control as well, by making some very simple changes. I can’t imagine taking anti-depressants again, at least not without a lot of counseling to make sure that I wasn’t becoming an apathetic mess instead of an emotional one. Hopefully, I’ll never need to make that decision again, but I do worry about the sheer numbers of people on these types of drugs, and how easy it is to get them.
>Depression runs in my family, but for the most part I try to alleviate it by doing things that make me happy…often. And, that seems to help. Having creative outlets, as well as blogs and online communities help too. But, my depression is mostly situational – or has been in the past. It gets triggered by situations (rape, marriage on the rocks, etc.) and then BAM! It spirals out of control.I agree with a couple of things said – that many of us prone to depression are also very introspective or “sensitive souls.” And, I also agree that while counseling should go hand in hand with meds…it doesn’t really work that way. I’ve personally tried finding a therapist a while back, before everything spun out of control (or began to) and only ONE place would see me with my insurance. Only, after just one visit they said they didn’t need to see me anymore. I wasn’t at risk enough.Now, however…we don’t even have insurance as we adjust to a new job with lower pay – so finding a therapist we could afford is going to be NONEXISTENT. I plan to wean myself off the meds later on, once this “phase” of my life (the issues) have passed. I need it right now, though to dull out the depression and anxiety so I can work toward making my life a better place for me.That’s my opinion, anyhow 🙂
>Doctors are absolutely quick on the draw with the prescription pad and free samples. I took a very low dose (10mg) of Prozac for very bad PMS years ago. It worked wonders but killed my sex drive. Stopped it til after having a baby, then resumed taking it for PPD. Again, incredibly helpful. With talk therapy. When I told my doc I wanted off eventually, due to the sex drive issues, he switched me to Effexor. After a year, I wanted to stop that. Weird side effects. And getting off that stuff was HELL. I tapered very slowly but experienced “brain shivers” that were very scary. I think my doctor is an ass for prescribing that, and I would discourage anyone from trying that stuff. It is seriously messing with your brain chemistry.-ML
>When I had PPD my ob doctor was going to make me get counseling because I would need monitoring in case of bad side effects. He had had patients who wanted to kill themselves and he wasn’t going to take any chances.However, my (old) regular doctor just gave me a prescription and that was that. I sought out counseling on my own because I wanted someone to be accountable to and to see if the meds were working.I’ve moved out of town and started seeing another doctor. I told him what was going on and how I’d like to eventually get off the zoloft and he told me how to wean myself off. He also said that only I would know whether I needed it or not. I am still accountable to others and still seek counseling when it’s difficult to handle life.I think my situation is more of a chemical imbalance but I would like to wean myself off the medication because I don’t want to be taking a pill for the rest of my life.Again, this is an interesting and thought provoking post. I’m still looking forward to the rest of the comments.
>I’m not a mother (well, not that I’m aware of, doctor’s appointment Monday to clear that up), but I’ve been on Zoloft in the past and for the past 3 years I’ve been on daily Xanax XR for anxiety. On my honeymoon we had a bunch of stuff stolen out of our rental car, including my Xanax. And then because we were out of state, I had to wait 2 more weeks before I could get more of it. And I didn’t die of anxiety in those 2 weeks, but I also noticed that at that point, a rather stressful one in my life, I was not coping well. I was not sleeping, not eating much, just not myself. And I want more than anything to be able to live medication free, but I don’t think I’ve yet developed the coping strategies to go it alone.I believe that all anti-depressant and anti-anxiety medications should come with a mandatory psychologist appointment. Plenty of people, myself included, were given drugs with no therapy and so we got better, but not of our own volition. Plus, the therapy component might sort out the drug seeking mamas from those who really need it.I don’t disagree with you, there are downsides and there is abuse, but for those who need it, and for those who can find the right drugs, it can be a good step towards sound mental health. It just needs to not be the only step.
>Hey, whensheworeponytails:And I know what you’re thinking, or I think I do. You are dead wrong. I felt sniffly and wanted to hug you,that’s what I was thinking. Just so you know.In general: I don’t know if there’s a new problem (or even a problem at all) or if blogging means that we see more people talking about depressing and medication. I certainly think that something that was swept under the carpet is now being discussed – and that can’t be a bad thing. Even if the only point is to find out about over-medication (much like discussion with women in the UK showed a huge number of induced babies between 9 and 5 – to the point where it because clear normal births were being induced to fit into a schedule).But as far as I know, depression can be medically controlled and as such counselling may not be useful. The doctor (who wrote the script) should certainly be monitoring the patient but a psychiatrist can’t actually help judge the medication, can she?
>But does a general practitioner really have time to sit down with all her anti-depressant patients from month to month and really talk to each of them about how they’re doing? Unfortunately, I don’t think so. Most GPs have about ten minutes for each of us, max.
>The U.S is way over medicated. We are medicating our kids and ourselves without proper diagnosis.That being said, I take 10mgs of Lexapro a day for PPD.
>You know what? I thought about the start of my comment – responding to someone who didn’t think it was ok to take medication – and I realised that I was wrong.She should be talking to someone (because clearly she is still judging herself for taking pills that are helping her cope) even though she feels it wouldn’t make a difference.It’s the same problem: the people that need it, won’t ever ask for it.So I take it back. I agree.(But I do think the GP damn well should take responsibility for the drugs he prescribes, as well)
>We live in a society that is totally over medicated. Do any of you read the possible side effects on some of these drugs? Suicide is a big one! So do you think it’s better to learn to deal with your problems or pop a pill and hope you don’t feel like killing yourself tmw.
>Lori your story was Hilarious and I have nothing against grandma’s solution. It was only for certain times in your life NOT everyday. I guess we all have to put on our “big girl panties” sometimes.
>I have had depression and anxiety issues for quite some time. I have had years of talk therapy ending in 2002. I never wanted to go on medication. Part of me said, “If I’m on this at 30 what will I have to be on at 40?”After my first child the PPD was awful. I didn’t seek help for it as I didn’t really know better. When I got pregnant with my second child 5 years later I was terrified of getting PPD again. I gave birth in February and a week later I was a complete wreck. My husband called the doctor, made an appointment for me and said go! Long story short- I was taking 150 mg of Zoloft. I hated it. Diarreah, no sex drive at all and no emotions at all. I wasn’t crying, I wasn’t anxious, I wasn’t sad, I wasn’t anything. I felt like a shell of myself and for me that was worse than the PPD.The baby is six months old and I have since stopped the meds and have been dealing with myself. Trying to eat right, sleep, talk to friends, get out of the house have all helped. I still have some crying episodes and am sometimes over sensitive but bit by bit things are improving.
>I think our whole society is over-medicated and the segment of our population that nobody is talking about is the elderly. It is very scary to hear what many of them are prescribed and obviously addicted to – especially painkillers. Also, the mix of alcohol and medications very prevalent among them.I don’t have any friends off-line that admit to using anti-depressants but that doesn’t mean they don’t. You know I live in a very exercise, outdoorsy county and I wonder if we just aren’t as medicated. I hike by the ocean cures a lot.
>You know what? I thought about the start of my comment – responding to someone who didn’t think it was ok to take medication -I DO think it is ok otherwise I wouldn’t be doing it. It just took me a long time to be ok. (and I thank you for the virtual hug, though) And with that said I still do sometimes feel bad about it. Maybe because I feel it’s not “normal” to need medicine daily. Maybe because of my upbringing. Maybe because of how often I read about how others (many who don’t even suffer with these types of issues) judge how I or anyone with these issues *should* be doing it. Really how one *should* treat mental illness of any kind, be that depression or else, is getting help. It really should be a personal decision as we’ve displayed here with the differing opinions on how it should be addressed. Naturally there should always be a doctor involved. And every doctor should always be held accountable for monitoring their patients on any drugs they prescribe. Be that antidepressants or pain meds or meds for diabetes..etc The reality for many people is depression is a disease and should be treated as such. Would we be having this conversation about, say, a diabetic who needed to be medicated? Are there too many diabetics in the world leaning on “crutches”? An epileptic? Epileptics take anti psychotics to treat their condition. Not that I intend to sound hostile but maybe I’m defensive because the whole thing is new for me.Sylvia, I’m not pointing this whole comment at you. I was just posting in general to the other comments raised. Suicide? Yeah, that also happens to people with untreated mental illness as well. And that is not the ONLY side effect of pretending that those people are just choosing not to “deal with their problems”. Do you watch the news? Not that I am in the boats of some of those people. I can and do control myself well enough to control my reactions. And let me share my “problems”. I am a mother of three healthy children all by my choice, married to a man I love completely also by my choice, living in a nice home, driving a nice car, going on vacations when I choose, living how I choose…etc… I have the very life I want. My problems other than depression? Well, I can’t honestly think of any I presently have though I’m sure I have the usuals any of us have. I’ve talked and self discovered and worked on “dealing with problems”. I was once just like you, anonymous, believing that it was a choice and I suffered for years because of it. And that’s not to say I’m “cured” either. I still may need other treatments. Who knows? So far, though, I’m doing better. Certainly many people take drugs they don’t need and there could be a million reasons why they get prescribed drugs they don’t need. But as I said before how do you or I know whether or not someone needs a medication? I think it’s possible the stigma on this particular issue is that so many people believe treatment, or not, is open to debate. To each his own.
>I don’t think Lindsey is suggesting that nobody should be medicated but that too many are being medicated.Those who really need meds have no need to feel shamed because she’s raising the issue. And it is the medical community who is to blame anyway, for the problem, not the patients.
>I totally wasn’t directing this at Lindsay. I think a healthy conversation is a great thing to have in relation to anything. Lindsay has said she knows there is a problem. And I get she was addressing a different problem. I was directing my comment to the person who stated people should just learn to deal with their problems. It’s odd that this is a conversation I would finally comment on. I’ve been a fan of this blog forever and now I finally say hello in time to out myself as the scary nut. Talk about putting your best face forward. 😉
>My GP referred me to a psychiatrist in a program for pre and post-partum women; the psych, in turn, recommended both meds and therapy. First time around, I rejected the meds. Second time around, took the meds. Things are easier the second time around.
>I had PPD after my first child, I never thought it could be so bad,I was depressed and I was crying all the time… I mentioned it to my doc and she said lets give it 6wks and see how you feel she said after that we could talk about other things but she wanted to see if my body regulated its self and it did… I’ve always had highs and lows but nothing like after giving birth… Then I got pregnant with my second child and I had depression while pregnant… I was a mess, depressed, crying, not happy to be having another baby, not spending time with my hubby or our first child, and of course that made me feel worse… Finally in one of my monthly visits she asked me something we got on the subject and I just started crying, my hubby was there and she also asked him a few questions… I was worried about going on something but she told me its a low dose and if you dont like it we can take you off of it and try something else… In a week I was starting to feel better… We did up my dose after the baby was born but its still a low dose of prozac… I am still taking them I have stopped taking them once and hubby looked at me one day and asked me if i was still taking them after I had a meltdown day… So I started taking them again… I was worried about telling my mom and others that they would think I was week for taking them but I’ve accepted that I needed help… I dont see a therapist, but I feel blogging and writing in a paper journal are my therapy…
>I agree that it is definitely useful, if not absolutely life saving to have “happy pills” when you feel like you are a distressed piece of sheet glass that is going to shatter if anyone comes within your space and just touches you… or breathes on you funny… or God forbid, asks you for the twentieth time what’s for dinner… aaaarrrrggghhh!But on the flip side, as you allude to, there seems to be too casual of a demeanor towards these drugs. I know so many husbands who push their wives into “taking their meds” to keep them docile and sweet, it seems. And then there are well meaning friends that push other mommies into accepting this as the only alternative using the guilt trip of being a better mom to your kids. There are other options. And it’s not up to anyone but the woman and her doctor to decide.
>I know many people are helped immensely by anti-depressants. I also know that I know more women on than off of them. One thing I notice (and have had medicated friends agree is true) is that they are able to take a lot more crap from their kids than they otherwise would be able to. Now that’s a side-effect I’m not willing to risk.
>I think the tendency to “joke” about our happy pills etc is just an extension of our tendency to joke about all aspects of our “crazy” (forgive the pun) lives. I poke fun at myself for my messy house, for the embarrasing short cuts i sometimes take as a mom (are french fries a veggie?) and I joke from time to time, when I spaz out, about “being off my meds”. Not because i take any of those things less than seriously or for granted, but because I have finally grown comfortable and self assured enough with myself to admit the weak spots in my armor, to not be ashamed of them and I want to assure other mothers and friends that any of us who seem to be “supermom”, surely have a few holes in our capes if you look closely enough. I sure do- and. that’s. OK.There is definitely a fine line between needing to learn how to cope with LIFE and getting on with it and a true need for chemical intervention and it probably has gotten blurred over the years where people begin to feel that all emotional distress warrants medication. I have experienced meds both with and without the supervision of a mental health care professional and although no amount of chatting is going to fix what is wrong with me, the regular monitoring of a specialist makes a very big difference. A GP simply does not have the time or expertise to adequately and correctly 1)diagnose 2)tailor the proper med to the individual 3)monitor the situation and make appropriate adjustments.
>As a society, we are waaaay too quick to medicate. Dribbleglass.com had a great billboard for this regarding kids:Ritalin: Easier than parentingThe billboard is funny, not the implication.
>Here’s my little rant that I’ve wanted to post on my blog but don’t want to hurt my IRL friend.She’s on something, don’t know the details of what, but something. A few months she ran out for a few days and during those few days she kept asking us “Are my children always this annoying?” the answer is an unqualified “YES!!!!!”But she does nothing about because every other day of the year she sits there in a medicated haze, immune to how annoying her children are, while the rest of us are left to suffer through her undisciplined childrens’ tantrums.Her children who are both bright spirited children pretty much know that can do whatever the hell they want as long as mommy has her happy pills in hand. Just act contrite for moment or two and then go back to wreaking havoc all over creation.The anti-depressents not only buffer her emotions but seem to release her of responsiblity for her children’s behavior. Because they aren’t annoying her, they must not be annoying.Meanwhile the rest of us who are facing life head on good days and bad are left to not only deal with our kids but hers as well… cause she’s not going to do it. She’s feeling fine and relaxed and doesn’t see there is a problem.Grrr. okay I’m done. Thanks for the opportunity to get that out.
>I have been on an SSRI for several years now. Had PPD and have had lifelong issues of anxiety and depression. My father has bipolar disorder and depression/anxiety run rampant on that side of the family. Genetic component? You bet.I am a recovering alcoholic and got sober when I was 20 years old in 1990. Beaucoup therapy. Helped immensely – more than I could put into words. Went to one of the best therapists in the world (IMNSHO) and still attend an AA meeting at least once a week.Have done eating better, getting exercise, blah, blah, blah. Did the therapy, of course. Ongoing talking to people in AA.But if the serotonin is “off” – therapy can only do so much. It only DID so much. It’s like having a diabetic adjust their diet – Helpful? Of course. Still need medication? Some do.I think there ARE people who take medication without doing therapy that could really alleviate their symptoms and help them become happier and healthier. I do think people should try therapy first.But some of us honestly do need medication and it’s not that we haven’t tried other things. Many of us have tried nearly everything else, resisted medication, and wasted time trying to think and talk ourselves better when there was a brain imbalance that needed to be corrected.I have never felt zoned out or in a fog or anything on my medication (Lexapro). I simply wouldn’t take it if I did – as a recovering alcoholic that’s a risk I am unwilling to take.And SSRIs are very different than tranquilizers which CAN leave you feeling foggy and out of it – and have a risk of addiction.
>when she wore: I understood your post and didn’t see it as “aimed” at me at all. I’m also sorry for putting words into your mouth!I think there are huge issues here in terms of the whole “Why don’t you deal with it” problem. Just learn to deal with life could equally be leveled at the diabetic. I think we’re generally uncomfortable with things that alter our minds so that makes it seem different.
>Some thoughts (and these are not directed toward anyone personally):When people say “too many” people are medicated, how many is too many? Who determines how many is too many?There should be no shame about being on antidepressants for life. If you were diabetic, would you be ashamed to have to take insulin for life? (Similarly, do you tolerate any judgment of other people for having to take insulin?)Talk therapy is sometimes not enough because some depression is not situational. Medication is sometimes enough because some depression is caused by a chemical imbalance. Sometimes talk therapy along with medication helps; sometimes it’s a money-suck.Talking about depression is good. We learn from other people’s stories (on any subject – not just depression)that we are not alone. When we keep secrets, we make things worse for ourselves and, in a way, for other people who might need to hear that someone else is having an experience similar to theirs.Depression has been around for centuries, but appropriate medications for it have been around for only a fraction of that time. People used to deal with depression by drinking (and they still do), committing suicide (and they still do), enduring painful and disproportionate treatments such as electroshock “therapy” – the list goes on. Thank God there are effective and humane options for treating depression now.
>I’m just curious why so many people keep referring to diabetics. Does insulin change your personality? Is that a side effect I don’t know about?The concern I have is with any drug that changes one’s personality. In some cases, that’s the price one pays to lead a more “normal” life- but statistically, there have to be a number of cases in which drugs are not necessarily the right choice, as opposed to eating right, exercising, counseling, etc. I would never tell someone which route is right for them– But I see this very widespread, cavalier “Oh, there’s a pill for that” attitude regarding emotional well-being and I find it disturbing.
>I think the reason so many of us bring up diabetes is that most people are at least a little bit familiar with the fact that diabetics usually take insulin daily. It’s just an easy example to relate to. Another easily relatable example would be having to take blood pressure medication daily.
>But I’m wondering what those medications have to do with altering one’s personality?
>I don’t think it is a matter of altering one’s personality. I have a chemical imbalance… which is in fact a physical malfunction that affects my moods. Not my personality. The question I think really needs to be addressed, is how to determine whether or not medications are appropriate, or whether diet and exercise are all that is needed. I don’t believe that you have any intention of opening up a can of Tom Cruise on the segment of us that truly need chemical intervention, but depression is like diabetes because of the simple fact that they are both common, medical conditions that may or may not require pharmaceutical treatment. Bringing me out of my depression did not alter my personality… it restored it.
>I can’t say that there’s too many women (or men for that matter) out there that depend on anti-depressants or happy pills. You know why? I’m not their doc. You just don’t know if you don’t know. Walk a mile in my shoes is what I’ve always heard.With that, I was put on an anti-depressant about 2 years after my father died when I couldn’t “snap” out of it. Two months of depression might have been over-reacting by a doc, but 2 years, I was not even living life. That was almost 20 years ago.The bad part..that doc didn’t warn me that if I continued to take the anti-depressant for a long period of time that I would never ever be able to go with out it. And, that’s exactly what happened. I don’t think I truly come out of that depression until about 6 years ago. I was about to have my first child at the age of 34, 15 years after my father died, and my mom said to me, “this is the first time in my life I have ever seen you happy”. I had been depressed way before my father died. I was only treated after he died. Now, 20 years later and I’ve tried to wean myself with a doctor’s help many times. I can’t. I simply cannot. That can only mean one thing. I have a chemical imbalance. I had a chemical imbalance for a long time and I knew it. I had a pretty rotten childhood, obviously rotten if my own mother thought me being happy was strange enough to comment on it.Anyway, I do go to therapy. I take my medication and I’ve been fortunate enough to find a doctor who has helped me carefully mix a cocktail of welbutrin and cymbalta (low doses of both) so that my depression and my anxiety are kept in check.Xanax…I can get a script anytime I want to. I don’t. In the past I have gone years without one and I’ve had years like this last one when I needed more than one 30 pill script. In case you are wondering, we owned a daycare in the last year and a half. We closed over a month ago…I haven’t needed a xanax since then.So, obviously there are life circumstances that may cause one to need a little help. I say none of this to say that abuse of the drugs is ok. I live across the road from someone who would sell you an oxycontin, lortab, methadone pill for $25 and never look back…..that’s abuse……..(How do I know this about my neighbor? Everyone does. General knowledge around here..even with the police..sad but true).Man, I rambled…bet you can’t even tell which side of the fence I stand on in this matter can you?
>I brought up the diabetic because it is another example of an “imbalance” that can be corrected by medication. Because the imbalance manifests itself “physically” there is no shame in treating it appropriately. When the physiological imbalance manifests itself psychologically or in the person’s “mood” there is suddenly shame and judgment attached when the person decides to “correct” it with medication.I don’t feel “high” or “zoned out” when my serotonin levels are treated with an SSRI. I feel, well… balanced. I don’t want to lie in bed all day and I want to live. I don’t spend hours spinning around in my head worrying and overanalyzing every. little. thing. It alters my personality to that extent. I still worry some. I still have bad days. I still feel sad. I still get angry. But the extremes aren’t there. Why criticize someone for restoring their imbalance to what’s close to the norm for others? Because it relates to personality and not to blood sugar or some other more easily measurable, quantifiable symptom?
>So those of you who are comparing anti-depressants to insulin are saying that anyone who feels dejected or anxious and has a doctor who suggests they take an anti-depressant should just take the prescription? Because a diabetic shouldn’t say no to insulin, right?
>Fortunately most people with untreated depression won’t die because of it. They have the choice and luxury of refusing medication if they are not comfortable taking it or feel something else may help them more.I’m a little confused because initially it seemed like you weren’t being critical of all people who take antidepressants, but just those who haphazardly take them when a non-medication treatment might actually alleviate the problem. When those of us who have tried those methods/treatments shared our experience and that we felt it really has been an imbalance causing our symptoms – you seem critical of that. Or do you just not like the comparison to diabetics?
>My criticism isn’t with those of you who are taking it and feel it really has changed the quality of your life for the better. My criticism is that it’s being too widely dispensed by overbooked doctors who often aren’t adequately monitoring the patients. My criticism is with the cavalier attitude I see toward anti-depressants- moms who joke about taking them with alcohol, or joke about popping a Xanax whenever the chips are down.
>I am totally wit Neurotic Chic. I have diabetes, I have thyroid disorder and I would never try to wean myself off of those drugs. Why I thought it was necessary to wean myself from anti-depressants was due solely to people judging me for it.I learned will quick like and I quickly became an activist for those with true imbalances. I have an aunt who takes all kinds of crap. She does it to avoid the real world. She has for years. She slurs when she talks. But, as irony would have it, after I posted here early about how I had not taken a xanax since we closed the daycare, my husband and I took on the task of cleaning out our utility/wash room. About an hour into it, I was jerking and nervous. I went for my bottle of xanax. I only took 1/2 of a 1/2 because I knew I was headed for a miserable night.I have too much to do in my life to be confined to my bed because I don’t want to get out. Many times when I get like that, I can get in a cool dark place and overcome it. I tried that today, it didn’t work. Probably because I knew that we had to finish the task at hand, retrieve my children from my mom’s, get bath’s and get them ready for bed. Tomorrow is just the oldest ones second day of kindergarten.The fact of the matter is like neurotic chic said…and as I mentioned about how I felt 2 years after my father had died….I have a life to live. And, I don’t mean I want to live it in a cool dark room sleeping it all away. I wanted to add that this whole “owning our own daycare” had caused serious issues with my husband. He had a job, he didn’t work at the daycare too. But, me being in the shape I was in had put him in a bad place.We both see the same psych. and I suggested to my husband that he needed to tell the dr how he felt. He wouldn’t. So, he invited me to come to his visit with him and tell the dr myself. I did, the doc talked to him about what I had said. He has been on lexapro for 10 days and the man is already enjoying his life again…after many months of being crabby and horrible.About 2 months ago when we first discussed him talking to our psych (he was seeing him for ADD btw) and he didn’t do it, I finally had to give him an ultimatum. I didn’t say it nicely either. He could either get help and quit yelling at me and the kids and being hateful and grumpy or he could find some where else to live and be grumpy.That’s when he realized that I was serious. The doc realized it too. Once we got that out of the way, he asked us if we wanted to see the marriage counselor and we both agreed that it was necessary.If you’ve ever read anything I write about my husband, it is 99% good and 99.9% of it is about he is like a robot. But, the daycare had really managed to put him under the edge and he needed some help. Why would he not get help if he needs it? Why would I quit taking my medications for diabetes or thyroid problems? I wouldn’t. And, I won’t go without my anti-depressant/anxiety drugs either. But drugs like lexapro, welbutrin, cymbalta, prozac….are way different than drugs like ativan and xanax. Even with my heavy opinion regarding the anti-depressants, I can’t imagine someone needing a xanax every day. My aunt takes 3 a day whether she needs them or not and naturally after years and years of it, she is addicted.As I mentioned earlier, I take one I need it..sometimes one a year, sometimes a couple script’s a year…it depends on my life at that time. The anti-depressants/anxiety drugs only work if you keep them in your system and sustain a constant level…..xanax is not that way. In my opinion, xanax should be treated much like pain medications that you take AS NEEDED, not just because you have a script for it. And, the bottom line is, some folks lives are just a little more out of control than they are equipped to handle and they need a little help.I’ve never really joked too much about “gotta get my happy pills” or “let me go get a xanax so I can handle this” and possibly it is because I feel so strongly about the fact that these drugs have a place and by making fun of them, I add to the problem that other people face when they don’t understand.Now, I did take prozac from 1990 which was 2 years after my father died, I had gone from Presidents list to failing 2 semesters and then had mono and dropped out another semester. I had to have some help. I was sinking to a bad bad place. Sometime around 2000 I just started to feel “not right”. I approached this with the doctor that I have now. He upped my dose. It didn’t help. He upped it again. It didn’t work. At that time, I asked in a joking manner if it came in IV form. He understood what I understood and that was it was time to change medications. It took almost a year for us to figure out a good mixture. The cymbalta helped with the depression, but I would still get the jerks and get nervous. And, the anxiety was bad enough that I couldn’t get in a cool dark place and make it go away. That’s when he added a low dose of welbutrin. Both of these are touted as anti-depressants, but a combo of the two (which I comically called a cocktail earlier) is what keeps me on an even kill.And, on the subject of being preggo and taking these drugs? I took paxil when I was pregnant with Walker because it was simply suppose to be the safest choice out there. I made the conscious decision that I could be a good tote bag for my baby while taking the paxil and without it, I was a basket case. I have high blood pressure and thyroid disorder along with diabetes and the drugs for those aren’t really recommended for breast feeding mothers so that was never an issue with me, I just made the decision to feed my son formula. The second pregnancy I was on the cymbalta/welbutrin combo but changed back to paxil just for the duration of my pregnancy. It didn’t help as much, but it got me through the pregnancy.And, for those of you rolling your eyes and saying…why did you need help getting through the pregnancy……well I spent 10 weeks in bed with the first child, lost 30 pounds and lived in the middle of central Florida in a campground where I knew no one but my husband who was working 12 hours a day and 6 days a week at a construction job. I went into preterm labor at 28 weeks and continued to do so until 32 weeks where I had to have magnesium to stop it. Then, back home to bed. With my 2nd pregnancy, I was in bed 12 weeks, lost 30 pounds from all the puking and had 3 herniated disks in my back which caused me to drag my right leg because the baby was laying on a nerve. I had a 20 month old child to take care of at the time too. I needed assistance. Period. I have a chemical imbalance. I needed assistance. Afterwards, my doc helped me get the medications I needed to re-assure me that I could lead a happy healthy life. Once we bought the daycare, I added the occasional xanax because man THAT WAS THE HARDEST THING I’VE EVER DONE IN MY LIFE!
>Man, I should have proof read that, please read between the lines
>I’m making a book out of your comments section. Hi, Lindsay. I’m a fan. You’re one of my favorite bloggers and normally I’m pretty nice and not all “ooh, fun! Let’s debate!!!” It’s just very weird to be dealing with just when one of my favorite bloggers starts a discussion on it. So here I am talking away. I’d never suggest anyone with any drug should just all willie nillie pop a pill. Certainly you should try whatever you can to not take it first. Who wants side effects if you don’t need them? But I feel that if you don’t trust the doctor you have, the person who went to school for years to be qualified to hold that pad he uses to prescribe, then you should find a different doctor. My doctor DID tell me about the possible side effects but he also told me that he has thought for quite some time I should take something and it was worth the risks because it would improve my quality of life. So far it is better so it was good I trusted his advice. But it’s not perfect and since I now see it can be of help I am more willing to go back to a specialist in this type of thing. But once I do find a med that works for sure, if this one doesn’t happen to be it, I sure as heck don’t want to have to “talk” about things when what is there to talk about?One of my points in that comparison was some people have already tried therapy and talking and what not. Why should they be forced to continue therapy if it didn’t work and it was an imbalance issue? Also the reason I said nobody would judge or question a women who said something like, “oh, I better go take my insulin” or someone who said, “It’s time for my Tegretol or I’ll be having seizures soon” was to point out that if a woman admits “I need to take my Prozac” there is a different stigma attached to that. Which is not to say a healthy discussion is bad. It’s an interesting topic. But it’s sad to think that anyone thinks it’s ok to judge a person for their illness. Is it our right? Do we know if that person is really sick or not? What if their cavalier joking is their self deprecation because they feel embarrassed. Perhaps they’re hoping for understanding friends? And maybe they shouldn’t expect that. But are we regressing as a society by making judgments about whether someone is REALLY sick or not? If you’ve never lived with depression you can’t know how hard it is to look past the stigma to take the right step towards getting better if that step is drugs. And having to feel ashamed of needing that help? Nobody would ever (or shouldn’t) say, “Is she really a person with seizure disorders or is she just too weak to handle life risking a seizure or two here or there. Suck it up. Learn to cope with occasional seizures.” They would take that woman at face value. Likely we would feel a sense of “Oh you poor thing. Best wishes to you in dealing with that disorder.” But someone who says, “Gotta take my prozac” would likely be met with a far different reaction. Is that fair? That was all I was really pointing out. And in pointing that out I’m not trying to attack Lindsay for opening up this topic. Actually I’m just hoping what I am saying makes sense to the extent that we could be more….understanding than pass judgments. That it helps to make people who haven’t been there understand well enough that a comment like, “Learn to deal with your problems” is hurtful popping up in a civil discussion about mental or emotional disorders.
>I missed the comments about altered personality. No, I wasn’t suggesting insulin would alter your moods or personality. But, actually, Tegretol can. And it is used to treat epilepsy. So, yes, some of those meds can change your personality and are useful in treating chemical imbalances.As for why I brought up diabetics or epileptics it was, as I said in my comment, to contrast the difference in the stigma and treatment of different disorders.Like ringleader said before me, though, I don’t feel my personality is changed. I feel like my mind has stop racing some long enough for me to try to make sense of some of my thoughts. I’ve not felt like calling in sick to work because facing people makes me cringe. I don’t feel like crying and not know why. Things like that. But as for feeling like me? Totally still feel like the neurotic, goof ball I’ve always been. Just with a little more clarity.
>Last one and I’ll stop spamming the heck out of your comments section. (I wish I could edit my comments because I totally feel like a spammer that should be trying to sell you some kind of herbals or some such. lol)Lindsay, I think the reason I personally can’t say “Yes, you should have to go to therapy while taking SSRI meds” is because I personally don’t want to do it so I’m projecting it to the whole issue. I don’t feel it would be beneficial to me so I’ve been holding on to that in this discussion but I’ll concede that for getting diagnosed and getting the correct medicines a specialist in the mental health field would be ideal and probably better. But since this is very often chemical issue I think GPs should retain the ability to prescribe these meds. Maybe with the agreement that once a year a person sees a mental health professional. But since I can’t decide what is right for everyone I have a hard time saying one should HAVE to do that. I don’t think one should have to go monthly or anything and forced to talk about things in therapy sessions for an issue that can’t be talked out.
>Lots and lots of meds are prescribed by MD’s that are not prescribed properly or adequately monitored, not just those for depression. The point is, anti-depressants taken for legitimate depression ARE NO DIFFERENT than any other kind of medication except fot the stigma attached which is probably the exact reason for the “cavalier attitude” that may prevail among some… humor as an attempt to bring it out into the open and dispel any notions of shame. Yes though, I can see where the line has become blurred and people taking them because they lack coping skills as opposed to lacking seratonin, can have the reverse affect on the credibility of us that truly need them.You have opened one big can’o-worms here Lindsey (which is what I love about you). It is very tricky, because we do not know what is going on with another person’s situation regtardless of how “cavalier” or irresponsible their comments may be, and I would much rather have a woman try meds who may not “need” them, than end up taking her own life, or watching it go by as she sites paralyzed by depression because she is afraid of being judged.
>To continue the diabetic analogy…you realize that diabetics, even if they take meds, also are supposed to work on diet, exercise…and even meet with a diabetic counselor/nurse practicioner to help make sure their sugars are on track. It’s not just take a pill/shot and that’s it.Depression is, for many, a long term chemical imbalance. That doesn’t mean that people taking medicine for it wouldn’t benefit from seeing a counselor to learn different coping strategies and how to deal with triggers.
>”My criticism is with the cavalier attitude I see toward antidepressants – moms who joke about taking them with alcohol, or joke about popping a Xanax whenever the chips are down.”So…would you rather they keep it a secret and just not talk about it at all? Or talk about it very gravely? How would you prefer they act? I’m genuinely curious here. Why is it not okay with you when people joke about it? Do you feel the same way when moms say they could really use a glass of wine, or when they say they’re having an Exced*in day?
>Because when someone is joking about drinking and taking medication, that’s not funny to me. Is it funny to you?Because when a friend is essentially telling me they’re depressed- so depressed they had to seek medical attention, I find it hard to giggle. Don’t you?
>And since you can’t read tone in a comment, I’m not miffed with anyone who’s commented, or defensive, or any of that. I’m just engaging in debate over what I perceive to be a pretty serious issue among middle class women.
>If that friend finds shedding humor on her situation makes it easier to cope with and smooths the way to sharing her pain- sure- giggle with her if that is what helps her get through it.Are we narrowing the annoyance down now more to people who mix meds with alcohol? cuz I can get on board with that- it’s just dumb. Maybe the same people who drank vanilla extract or Nyquil in high school to get drunk…I don’t think it is a topic that warrants or benefits from “debating”- such an advesarial means of discussion on an already difficult and painful topic that clearly is so different for each individual that trying to come up with the “right” answer leaves all frustrated and more unsure. Maybe let’s not “debate”- let’s shed light instead. This isn’t the kind of thing where proving your point is important. But I do think this has been a very interesting and useful conversation, can we just not call it(or act like it is)a debate?
>A woman that I respect really put medications into perspective. You can read her illuminations here and here.I can assure you from experience that most antidepressants don’t act as “happy pills” where you morph into Pollyanna. Rather these medications sort of turn the volume down on sorrow. Doesn’t erase it, but does diminish it’s impact on functioning.As with any type of medication (asthma, cancer, diabetes), antidepressants have side effects. For realz. Some people experience subtle effects, others seem to have a rougher time and have to try several.All that being said, I think if you have emotional issues accompanying your depression, you should look into cognitive therapies to tackle the issue at hand. But if you are just bummed, for a long time, for no good reason, it sounds like you need a little biochemical help. I have some friends who self-medicate their chronic depression with marijuana. Others with alcohol. I think it may be wiser to go with the Zoloft, etc.I do think too many folks skip the looking deep part (therapy) for lack of time and resources. Trouble is, if they are not truly biochemically prone to depression, then pills will only go so far and they will be stuck in sadness forever.And last, yes, I do think there are some very sensitive personality types out there who are so raw to the world, I think they are more prone to depression.
>Actually, a large number of women (and men) have chemical imbalances in their brains. Antidepressents balance the serotonin and other chemicals … making it possible to either work out issues in talk therapy, or simply go back to normal life. It’s important not to minimize their real effects.
>”Because when someone is joking about drinking and taking medication, that’s not funny to me. Is it funny to you?Because when a friend is essentially telling me they’re depressed- so depressed they had to seek medical attention, I find it hard to giggle. Don’t you?”Wayull, this doesn’t really address my question. How would you prefer women act in regard to having to take psychiatric meds?
>I think they are perhaps overprescribed. I know when I was having some issues a couple of years ago, a doctor wanted to put me on meds that I didn’t feel I needed. I didn’t take them. I can get through a rough patch on my own. If it goes on too long, or I can’t cope on my own, then meds aren’t a bad idea. Having said that, I’ve been thinking about going to the doctor and seeing about getting on something. I have four kids, three of those do activities, I am the co-leader of one of my daughter’s Girl Scout troops, I work part-time and go to school full-time. All of that is in addition to the regular cleaning, cooking, etc. Lately, I’ve felt like I’m about to have a nervous breakdown. I’m extremely stressed and overwhelmed. I don’t like to take meds though, so I’m resisting.My sister got so stressed last year (working full time, full time nursing school, single parent to three kids) that her hair started falling out, she was having heart palpitations all the time, and crying at the drop of the hat. She took them while she needed them, and then stopped. They do have their purposes and uses. I think I could benefit from meds (although I don’t want to take any), and I know my sister did when she needed them.
>Ringleader – I agree with your assessment 100%. People don’t look down on those that take medications for (as mentioned here) diabetes or the like. However, “crazy” meds are looked at in a different light, so some people make jokes about them to kind of break that taboo. Or at least to joke about themselves before anyone else can. Sort of like the fat kid in school would make jokes about themself before the other kids could.
>Dear L: I have been reading your blog posts/column faithfully for a year now and I just have to say, seriously, I don’t know how you do it. I was a stay at home mom this year for one year, with kids the same age as your youngest two (almost exactly, which is one of the many reasons I love your blog). But I gotta say, I really don’t see how you find time to write, clean, do laundry, cook anything other than mac n cheese out of the box, go to the gym a lot, play with your children and monitor your increasingly resourceful teens. I am so tired after this year at home with my kids I feel like even a month of sleep wouldn’t be enough relief.In any case, to the point of your column, I’m not on antidepressants but I understand why a lot of moms are. I think you might be the most skilled, together, good natured, patient, and sexy mom in the whole world, and I’d give a lot for more of you energy and optimism. You might want to consider how rare you are. Not everyone can do your job as well, or without more help. Including psychological help.
>I haven’t read the column yet, but I’m going there now.I happen to agree with you 100% and yet I am on medication. But I’m also currently seeing a therapist that is vital. Popping pills will make anyone temporarily happy and productive. But counseling will help resolve issues as well so that you can possibly be weened from the meds later on. I personally have deep issues stemming from my dad and such. I have been diagnosed with massive clinical depression (it’s intermittent though), some OCD issues in the form of obsessive thoughts and even some bi-polar tendencies. I need the meds very much. Therefore I don’t like to be lumped in with the new-age medicated moms, as I like to call them. LOL!!! Meds and counseling together are helping me tremendously. That’s my two cents:)
>I think the commonness of “happy pills” is largely a class issue. Working class moms, especially those without health insurance, cannot afford such medication. Smoothing away life’s difficulties unnecessarily with pills will always require certain economic privileges.
>With all due respect, Veronica, Wal-Mart sells antidepressants (if that’s what you’re talking about) for $4 for a 30-day supply, and that’s with no insurance. That’s the most affordable they’ve ever been. A lot of other places are starting to follow this model as well.
>I’ve been off and on antidepressants for a long time. I’d rather be off of them, for sure. But I’ve had similar thoughts on why so many people are on them these days, especially mothers.I know that when I was much younger, talk therapy helped enormously and to be honest, it might work again but insurance companies tell you who to see, when to see them, how many times you can see them and you have to jump through a shitload of hoops to even get the referral. And if you don’t like the therapist/counselor? Too bad. I think the insurance companies would just prefer we take a pill and be done with it since people can be in therapy for years sometimes.My antidepressant have side effects. It causes a certain amount of anxiety which is managed by the occasional half a pill of the lowest dosage of Xanax.I don’t like it but it definitely beats being hopeless and depressed and unable to care for my family properly.But rest assured, I rarely ever drink and when I do, it’s definitely not while taking medication. I take that very seriously.Do I take my mental health seriously, as well? Absolutely. But frankly, it’s a lot easier to joke about it sometimes than present yourself to the world as someone who really does need the crutch of medication. It’s hard for me to put my vulnerabilities out there for the whole world without throwing in a few cracks about “the crazy”. It’s kind of like making fun of yourself before someone else can.My issues are driven by a hormonal imbalance that has existed for a couple decades but has gotten a lot harder to manage after having kids (and approaching forty one doesn’t help!) I’m just glad there is something I CAN take that helps. Back in the day, women were sent to a sanitarium to get electroshock therapy or else they just had to suck it up. Who knows how many lived with a constant desire to drown themselves ala Virginia Woolf?
>I think that the blog world gives us an altered view of the amount of moms on medication to contol mental issues simply because so often it’s those of us with mental issues that turn to creative means like writing and art because we need a form of expression. I suspect it’s the same reason why it seems like an inproportionate amount of artists and authors have killed themselves.I’ve been on a series of drugs and have seen psychiatrists and therapists off and on for a third of my life…long before I was a mother or a blogger. I understand what you’re saying but many of us use humor to bridge a subject that so many people feel uncomfortable with or don’t understand. I’ve written about thoughts of suicide and my struggles with mental illness (which were passed down from my highly-medicated father who is neither a mother, a blogger or (sorry daddy) a cool kid) and I think it helps for others to hear they aren’t alone, but honestly the best responses I’ve had are from people who are so relieved that I’m able to freely joke about having to take drugs to find the level of normalcy that so many other people take for granted. I find if you’re able to take the things that hurt and shame and find the humor in them they seems so much less scary and intimidating and the people who need help feel like it’s okay to ask for it. I know it can come off as flippant at times, but to someone who has seriously contemplated which building would be the best to jump off of, that sort of humor can sometimes be a life-saver.
>Well said Jenny.
>I do see where it might make some of you feel more comfortable about the issue to joke about it. I’ll keep that in mind the next time it happens. At the same time, maybe it’s helpful for those of you on medication to know that it makes (some of) your friends worry about you when you joke about your medication, and that the worry is because we LOVE you and we’re concerned about you. Does that make sense? To the person who asked that we not call this a debate, maybe that’s a good idea, because I think most of us on both sides of the issue who’ve commented have the other sides’ best interests at heart.
>That totally makes sense and I get that it comes from a good place. I’ve had friends in real life who have had to defend their support of me because their friends were uncomfortable with the easy way I talk about my meds and they see it as a sign that I need help or an intervention. Luckily my friends in real life are able to safely assure others that although I struggle and medicate to find “my normal” that I’m actually okay and in control. It’s something that makes people uncomfortable and I get that, which is why most of us who have serious mental issues just joke about it in front of people who don’t and save the serious “I wanted to cut myself but I didn’t today” conversations for our friends who’ve been there and won’t judge us or worry. Mental illness is supposed to make people uncomfortable. Even my mom has an issue with me mentioning it because she can’t understand it either. To her, it’s confusing how anyone couldn’t just get better with yoga and meditation and light therapy and talk-counseling and all the other things I tried before I realized that sometimes the only way you can treat a sickness is with medication.I think for so many of us, the choice to go on drugs is a very difficult one. The side-effects, the uncertainty of what it will do to you, how it will change you, the knowledge that you are admitting that there is something wrong with you…for me it was nearly impossible and I still struggle with it and occassionally go off my meds because I just want to be “normal” like everyone else. Then I spiral down into crazytown and want to hide forever.I hardly ever write about the really bad times because it’s not something I’m strong enough to share but I am comfortable enough to joke about it because making light of it brings a bit of normalcy to my otherwise anything-but-normal life.
>I think that like any other condition, whether we are talking about ability to become pregnant and taking contraceptive measures, being a diabetic and monitoring diet and taking insulin or Crohn’s disease and the management of diet stress etc, we have to take ownership- perhaps not therapy with medication, but at least forthright conversations with those prescribing the pills. And as to the talking about it, I think some people may take a more flip tone to diffuse judgement.
>To each their own. It hurts to read women writing opinions who have never experienced the deep, dark depths of depression. I suffered from PPD after both of my children while my husband was deployed to Iraq both times. Wellbutrin saved my life. Literally. I tried exercising, which helped some. Fish oil capsules, which Im skeptical. Breaks for myself, which made me have panic attacks when I got back home. Weird. I didnt seek therapy because I couldnt find one specializing in PPD. Which is sad in itself. I think alot of women suffer and dont do anything about it. Im glad I did! Im a better mom because of it.
>oh, and there is no need to suffer through it or feel ashamed. I went through all those stages. Im not weak, Im strong. Something was wrong, I tried my options, and found something that worked.
>oh shit, Im sorry, Im posting again! After reading more comments I see that many other women have gone through alot too. I dont feel so alone. Im currently a stay at home mom to a 2 yr old and a 10 mth old and my husband is in Iraq and I live 700 miles from family and friends. I have to be strong for my babies. I definitely dont say,” time to take my happy pill.” I still feel on wellbutrin. I still get angry, sad, happy, cry, all emotions. Im still me. I think I had a chemical imbalance after both births. I felt different immediately after they were born. I hope I dont have to stay on them forever though. In time I will stop. Ive weaned off of Zoloft and Effexor in the past. After a few weeks all those zaps are gone. When it comes to Xanax and painkillers. Yeah, those are way overprescribed, addictive, and can make you depressed. IMO, there definitely should be a monitoring system on the # of those prescribed each yr. Ok Im done.
brachiate…
amazing stuff thanx. you said it my friend. Dont leave us hanging I want to hear more please. Thanks. tremendous tremendous more please….