>One More Metal Mouth
>I should have known there would be trouble the moment I walked in the door. Things were just too… happy.
Upon entering the orthodontist’s office, we were immediately accosted by a large poster filled with exclamation points and photos of smiling kids, poolside. DR. PLUCKY’S PARTY!!!! the sign read.
“Dr. Plucky had a party and you didn’t go?” I whispered to my 13-year-old. She chuckled weakly. There would be no outright laughing on B-Day. Because braces are serious business and not to be trifled with.
“Well, hi there!” the receptionist shouted as we walked in the door. “My name’s Marge and here’s the whole crew!” She waved toward the five assistants milling in the background behind her. “You’ll get to know them real well over the next year and a half!” Each of “the crew” gave me her best former-cheerleader grin.
Once we got 13 signed in, she was led immediately to The Chair of Pain, while I was taken to The Room Where Thousands of Dollars Disappear From Your Savings Account. Grimly, I forked over the dough and signed all the necessary papers. Only then did I meet Dr. Plucky himself.
“Well, hello!” he chortled, moving toward me at breakneck speed as I stood across from 13 in her chair. “I’m Dr. Plucky!”
Dressed in a circus striped shirt and jeans, his hair slightly wild and his smile infectious, I quickly deduced that Dr. Plucky was the Willie Wonka of orthodontia. “Say! Let me get a look at those frames!” he said, quickly noticing the vintage frames perched on top of my head. I shyly handed them over. “Hey! These are great! Now! Check these out!” He pulled out from his pocket the ugliest pair of glasses I’ve ever seen. They were round frames with thick green undersides, which abruptly stopped and became thin purple frames on top. Basically, he looked like this:
I got the hell out of there as soon as possible.
After all, I reasoned to myself from the comparative comfort of the waiting room, I had braces at 13 too, and the last thing I would’ve wanted was a family member staring from my feet as I had them fitted.
But you know the real truth.
I was afraid of Dr. Plucky.
Two hours later, 13 emerged from Plucky’s lair. She was crying. I jumped out of my chair.
“What’s wrong?!” I asked. “What happened? Are you hurt?”
“She just doesn’t like the way they look,” an assistant assured me. She blathered on about brushing and ibuprofen and blah blah blah. But I heard nothing. My own eyes were filling with tears as I listened to 13 fight back sobs.
I was catapulted back to the day I got braces. I remember looking at myself in the mirror for the first time. Bad perm. Acne. Chipmunk cheeks. And a big, fat mouth full of metal. I had never felt more hideous.
Until this afternoon, I had successfully blocked my own ensuing cry fest from my mind. But as I tried to console 13 in the car, I was having a hard time keeping my voice level. Having braces sucks. It did then and it does now and nothing I could say was going to change that fact. I guess no one ever told me how hard it would be to watch my teenagers suffer without losing it myself. No one said my own adolescent issues would come flooding to the surface every time I watch them cry. I keep wondering when I’m going to gain that June Cleaver Calm. I thought I’d have it by now, but I guess I was absent the day they were handing it out.
All I know is that she’s going to be absolutely gorgeous when she gets the braces off. And I really need to work on my mothering act, because saying “It’s really… not a big deal to…. get braces!” in between sobs is not very convincing, I have to admit.
And I might just have to kick Dr. Plucky in the balls the next time I see him.
>I always thought braces were kind of cute. I didn’t have them, but I wanted them. But, man, if my baby ever goes through my teenage acne problem my soul will shrivel and wither into a petrified little potato of sadness. (She will be gorgeous when it’s all done, and in between too)
>Oh, I’m so sorry! That is so hard to watch her go through. It’s devastating at that age. I was the same way you were, too.Did you let her eat lots of ice cream? That made ME feel better.
>Before my sister had braces, she had a palate separater in the roof of her mouth. Since I had the smallest hands, I had to turn the key. That, I think, ranks as one of the worst things I have ever had to do in my life. (I have never enjoyed causing her pain. I prefer to make her laugh until she wets her pants).
>My parents made my orthodontist appointment the day before my b’day. I was in so much pain I couldn’t eat pizza for my party. Also the cute boys were coming to my party.There are actually pictures of me crying because of the pain.
>I will happily send her a picture of my teeth. My teeth, the ones that didn’t get braces because I was freaked out by the orthodontist’s hundreds of owl figurines covering every surface of his office, their dusty oversized eyes staring and staring dully at me…I convinced my parents to buy me a stereo instead, so I could moon over Echo and the Bunnymen for hours. Because at the time, I couldn’t stand having glasses, acne, stringy hair and a big bum. Braces would have been the last nail in the coffin of my unpopularity. But now? I am contacted, clear enough, sleek and bootylicious. But I wish every day, every time I look in the mirror, every time I run my tongue over my teeth, that I had a pretty smile.You could also tell her that getting braces now on someone else’s dime is a much better idea than not having the dough to fork over as an adult with a house and a child and grocery bills and insurance payments and a veritable plethora of other financial responsibilities to cover.I can only imagine how hard it is for her, and your post touched me. Please tell her for me that she doesn’t want to grow up and hate that part of herself, when it can be fixed now, will you?
>The colored bands are kind of fun for making them a little less braces-y.She can customize them for holidays or whatever she’s in to.I despised my braces(I had them for three years), and didn’t wear my retainers, and now I need them again on my bottom teeth.Just remind her it’s worth it, and it will be over soon.
>Braces are so advanced now!Headgear (anybody?) at night for one year, full time for one year.Braces for four years. Retainer for two years.Yikes! I had a BAD overbite! On the plus side, my Mom let me get my ears pierced (silver to match the braces) and she bought me a silver jacket. I was a 70’s SUPERDORK!Tell her WE think she looks fantastic!
>Huh, I didn’t think braces were that bad, really. Of course, I had new little mini-braces and a cute orthodontist…
>Aww :(Now you’ve got *me* crying :(and .. for what it’s worth .. don’t let your kid anywhere NEAR Dr. Plucky’s poolside parties … sounds creepy to me …
>First of all…Dr. Plucky???Second, the wife.imp just got her braces off. She was able to do different colored bands. She used a lot of school colors etc…But until 13 gets over the initial shock, we send our sympathies.
>Your such a good mommy to your girls, Lindsey.Funny thing, I loved the way my braces looked on me. But I got them on when I was younger.
>Um, I meant to tell you that I knew Dr. Plucky was a “personality”.
>I think girls look cute in braces. It’s the guys, especially the grown men, that look like absolute dorks. I got my braces late, and I was determined to do everything I could to get them off by senior pictures. Made it by a week. Now, I need braces again. Because my dog ate my retainer.
>For what you have to pay for braces, you should get one free shot a month at Dr. Plucky’s goodies.
>They do indeed suck. I also had braces for 18 months and they were the ugliest 18 months of my life (I also had the perm). But it was worth it. I know that doesn’t mean much to poor 13 right now, but ten years from now she’ll be glad she did it as a teenager, instead of putting it off until she became an adult.
>Poor 13. But it is worth it. I’ve had braces twice – once when I was a teenager and then was I was 23 or so. I’d stopped wearing my retainer a bit too early on the first go and eventually my teeth were rearranging themselves against my wishes. Although it knocked my confidence somewhat, having a sign of teenage years stuck in my mouth when I was in my twenties, I’m delighted I had it all done again and I’m making sure to wear my retainer every few nights. Be brave, 13!
>Aww..poor 13. 🙁 If it makes anyone feel any better, I always WANTED braces. My friends would ask me if I was crazy, but I was always wishing I had to have them. I thought they looked so cool!I remember lying and telling my mom that the dentist said I needed them after my cleaning, and she promptly went in to talk to him. Yeah, that was embarassing. Like we could just walk into an ortho.’s office and say, “She would like braces, please?” What a goof I was.Hope she feels better soon. And it will be worth it in the end (which you obviously know). As far as sobbing with her – I think it makes you look more human, and it may have been what she wanted – not someone who had no clue what she was talking about try to console her. I think you probably did a great job. 🙂
>Eep. I’m so sorry. Please give 13 a hug for me.
>Wait a sec, you didn’t flash your former cheerleader smile back at them? I know, I had to go there.The girls are just beautiful with or without braces. They have nothing to worry about.
>She will thank you someday. I just came out of them about a year and a half ago, myself.
>AWWWW. I am sure 13 is very very cute! Braces are very cool nowdays. And you get to change the color in them every 30 days or so, how fun is THAT?
>I had those clear ceramic ones when I was a teenager. You know, so you could’t tell that you really had braces.Good idea, in THEORY….however, doesn’t really work in the practical world, because of the rubber bands AROUND the braces.If I ate anything w/ a strong food coloring, the rubber bands would turn that color, and it looked like I had multi-colored teeth.Niiiice.I completely relate to 13 and how she’s feeling. Ugh.And Dr. Plucky’s drawing scared me….a lot.
>Who knew that you were a budding artist? LOLYou know, I think it is a lot better to be the type of Mom to 13 who understands how she is feeling than one who plasters on a smile and makes little of her feelings. Truly, it probably helps her to have someone who understands and remembers what it feels like. And, she can look at your teeth that are straight and nice now and know how great she’ll look when this is all over.
>So rough!I had braces for a year when I was 20. But I did the EXTREME orthodontia treatment, meaning I was at college 900 miles from my orthodontist whom I only saw every 3-4 months on visits home. Every visit meant I got the MAJOR jumps in wire strengths, so painfully impossible to do anything with the mouth for 3 straight weeks afterward.But there was an upside: from first visit to last visit I only saw the orthodontist 5 times. And after the hell weeks I was pain free for 3 months before the next visit. You could suggest this “super-fast-but-near-death-painful” braces experience to 13…but I won’t be held liable… 🙂
>This is for 13:I am 27 years old and I just got my braces 9 months ago!It only took 2 months for my teeth to move around and make my smile look very pretty.The only problem is that now, I am running for political office, and no one likes a “council-woman” with braces!!!The good news is that, they told me 18 months, but after 9 months, I was told that it is almost done! They will take them off in the next 3 months or so!
>I don’t remember crying about braces, but I was a weird one and was pleased just to get out of school for all those ortho appointments–that is, until my folks wised up and got me appointments after school.That said, soft foods! Yogurt, ice cream, pudding, whatever. This time will pass soon. The payoffs are lifelong. 🙂
>o poor 13 i just got rid of mine 4 months ago… i did live thru it tho so she prolly will 2
>Okay- so here’s the other horror story associated with my sis’s braces. I took her in for a tightening/ check up once, and as an assistant was checking out her orthodontia, a spider fell from the ceiling into her mouth. Let me just repeat that. A spider. Fell. In her mouth. All this while her mouth was clamped open. And neither she nor the assistant noticed until I shrilly screamed and it climbed out.*Shiver.
>I’m afraid. My oldest has very pressing orthodontic needs, but he has only lost 5 baby teeth, and the ortho feels it would be better to wait. Fine with me. But our day is coming. And it’s going to hurt. Both of us. My wallet is already experiencing sympathy pains.
>Oooo are you afraid Dr. Plucky will read this blog Miss Backpeddler? 😉
>No, but he called right after I posted last night and you know what? He’s the first doctor I’ve had whose ever done that. My dad’s a doctor and he does that too. It made me feel sort of warm and fuzzy.Ew.
>Braces was one adolescent torture I never had to endure, but I more than made up for it in excess breast-age. I had a reduction the year I got married, but until then, I endured nicknames like Andes Mountains (how clever they were playing on my name) and things crueler. Adolescence sucks. No one gets out scot free. Thanks for the warning that I’ll be reliving many angsty moments. Seems like that parenting contract I never got to read all the way through was a little lacking in descriptions.
>Shiny metal braces are indeed a shock at first. Mine had gray rubber bands all over them, too, so that was extra “special.” I don’t know if 13’s friends have braces, but if they don’t now, many soon will. Maybe she’ll feel a bit better if she’s not the only one with braces. Plus, her smile will look sooooo pretty when she gets them off — and she’s starting early, so they’ll be off in plenty of time for prom pictures, etc. 🙂 Oh, and if you haven’t gotten some already, pick up some wax to stick on the worst spots on the braces. It won’t look pretty, but it’ll save 13 a lot of injuries. Ah, memories. ;^)
>Poor 13. I’m 27 with braces, and I can feel her pain. But as an adult at least I’m my worst enemy instead of the teen b*%^#es! 🙂
>well my friend who is 33 just got braces – braces on a 33 year old is NOT a good look. Especially when your shopping for a husband. So tell 13 that she’s better to have them now. Poor wee thing.
>Poor kid. But two hours in a chair and all that pain… maybe Dr. Plucky needs to be renamed? Although he did call to check on her, which is nice.My Teen got her braces at the beginning of the year, top and bottom, and it took less than an hour. Plus she gets to change the colors every 4-6 weeks – we currently have a fluro theme going on, but she’s done school colours as well. It’s a big deal to decide which colors are “in” this month.
>I got braces and glasses on the same day, one horrible August day when I was 12. Just in time for school to start – whee!
>an orthodontic CLOWN? Jesus H, that would scare the crap out of me, and I’m not even scared of clowns. I always needed braces when I was younger because I had one REALLY crooked tooth and I felt just as ugly as she probably feels because I DIDN’T have braces. She’ll definitely be happier that she went through with this later on in life.
>I’m an orthodontist assistant. My father in law is the orthodontist and I’ve worked for him for almost four years now. It took two hours!? We do it in 20 minutes (at the most). Don’t worry, braces aren’t that bad and she’ll be so happy with her teeth when the braces come off. We actually had one girl cry not too long ago when we told her she could get hers off next time. She liked having them so much she didn’t want them off. I could tell you stories all day about braces.