>Professor Owl Meets His Bitter End
>For days, Professor Owl had been listening to the plans being made for his demise. Mute and forgotten in a corner, his loathing for Lindsay and her foul-mouthed clan grew as he watched her chuckle and rub her hands in glee.
“Ooh, Hubs, here’s one. Let’s boil him in oil. Although oil might be dangerous. How ’bout we boil him in water? But do you think that would damage the Calphalon?”
“Beat him with a baseball bat. That’s possible… Wait. Do we have a baseball bat? Because that wiffle ball bat is for pussies.”
“Running over him would be easy and fun. Do you want to drive or take pictures?”
Enough was enough. Professor Owl was getting the hell out.
He waited until the coast was clear, then silently waddled out the kitchen door without looking back. Da bitch, he thought. Anything’s betta dan dis.
Oh shit, he said to himself. Shit on a stick.
The professor could feel his wings shaking as he and the yellow devil stared each other down. Dammit, you’re an owl! he told himself frantically. Now think, damn you! Think!
“Wanna play?” Professor Owl asked haughtily.
Oh yes. The yellow devil wanted to play all right.
But just as his alphabet flashed before him, fate intervened in the form of a toddler.
“Bad doggy!” she shouted.
“BAD DOGGY!” she cried again, louder, looking around for reinforcements.
“Try again!” he pleaded.
Consarn it! Professor Owl thought to himself as the yellow devil carried him to his destiny. Lindsay is sooo gonna blog about dis.
>where is his destiny? please tell me this is to be continued! 😀
>I’ve been reading your blog and I find it really refreshing and hilarious. And I too want to lean of his destiny 🙂
>Excellent choice, madam. Gruesome, yet somehow wholesome, too.I just hope you took the batteries out before the Yellow Devil chewed him up.Me, I can’t have a dog; the husband is allergic. In similar circumstances I would have had to buy a turkey fryer.
>*Chortling*Oh, God, perfect….terrific pictures too!
>AAAAAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!So great!
>L, you are such a nut. Okay, so my kid would try to rescue the good Professor, too.
>Next week, on “A Very Special Professor Owl”: In spite of his peril, Professor Owl rounds up the neighborhood pets and performs an intervention on the Yellow Devil. They bid each other an emotional farewell at the hospital doors. Though Professor Owl is really in the doghouse with Lucinda, she doesn’t protest when he moves to the back yard. Reunited after rehab is over, the YD and the good Professor move Oprah to tears as they recount the events that led up to to the unique friendship that is “Doggy and The Professor”. Don’t miss the season ending cliff hanger when Baby comes back on the scene and threatens all they have worked for.
>That is one smart owl. Great story. It makes me wonder what kind of things my daughter’s favorite stuffed lobster would say. Considering his bright red sheen, I can only assume he was cooked long ago. So, I guess he wouldn’t be saying much, except perhaps, OUCH!
>BWWAAAAHHHHHAHAHHAHAHA!Classic.
>oh yeah, someone’s going to get it. make sure you’ve got batteries for that camera, don’t want to miss capturing a happy ending.
>hahahahaha…. great pictures!Good doggy!!!
>Yes, I believe there is far more to this story. Professor Owl’s destiny remains to be seen because after a while, Hubs took pity on the Professor and brought him back inside. And you know what? He worked perfectly. No more taunting. I’m totally serious. It’s eerie. I swear he’s possessed.Busy Mom, that was AWESOME! You crack me up!
>That’s perfect that he started behaving after the dog punishment. LOL See, a time out for the Owl just wouldn’t have worked. To hell with the animal rights activists that are “pro time outs”! Sometimes a good dog whoopin’ is just what’s needed to set these creatures straight.Professor Owl is now your dawg’s bitch.
>I must be sick because I actually felt sorry for Professor Owl when I saw his little body waddling out the back door…
>LOL, that’s hilarious… Shame you don’t have “before” and “after” pictures! My, but I have a sick mind!
>I wish this would work with our dogs but they only eat the things I don’t want them to touch! Did you dab peanut butter behind the professor’s ears? (Do owl’s have ears?)
>I was also wondering how you got the dog to take the professor so easily. That was perfect!
>Are you kidding? 🙂 I had trouble keeping the dog away long enough to take the first two pictures! He will make anything he can find into a chew toy. Particularly if it’s owl-shaped!
>At least it doesn’t appear that the dog humped him.
>No… He only humps pre-pubescent girls. I’m serious. Any 8-11 year old girl who comes to our house immediately finds this dog attached to her leg. No one else. It is sooo weird.
>Good doggy! Good doggy!
>It reminds of the joke about the parrot who would not stop cursing and the owner put him in the freezer. After coming out the parrot was wonderful and the only question he had was what did the turkey do to piss off the guy. The owl finally wised up.
>that’s one chubby puppy- i’d be afraid prof owl is getting eaten….
>And all this could have been avoided if The Professor hadn’t been such a cheeky bastard.
>Hehe.. our dog at Peter Cottontail after I hid him in the garage and let the batteries die and my little one found him again and again.. The dog loved him!