>Teenism Rears Its Ugly Head
>”Are y’all fixing to eat dinner or are you going to eat, like one appetizer and split it?” the waiter asked. “Because we need to save our tables for real customers.”
My 16-year-old and two friends had walked to the American Cafe at Green Hills Mall after last night’s football game. 16 looked around at the nearly-empty restaurant.
“We’re going to eat meals,” she said uncertainly. “I mean, we’re hungry.”
The waiter sighed and led them to a table. He tossed down a few menus and asked for their drink orders. All three girls wanted water. Rolling his eyes, he wrote the order down and left, returning a minute later. “Do you know what you want to eat?”
“No,” they answered. “We’re still deciding.” With a loud sigh, he walked away, then came back.
“Do you know what you want now? Because I’ve got somewhere I need to be.”
The girls ordered an appetizer and two entrees. A few minutes later, 16 flagged the waiter down.
“Don’t you guys serve bread?” she asked.
“We do if you ask for it.”
“We’d like some, please.”
The bread never came. When their appetizer arrived, she asked again.
“Can we have some bread now, please?”
Her request was returned with more sighing and eye rolling. After several more minutes, the waiter plunked the bread down on the table, said “We’re out of butter,” and stalked off.
Shortly after bringing out their entrees, he returned with the check book and flung it onto the table.
Teenism. Gah.
I remember being a teenager and getting this kind of treatment from time to time, though more often it was at upscale boutiques than at restaurants. I’d have a hundred bucks in birthday money to burn, only no one but no one who worked there would so much as look in my direction. After spending 15 minutes or so feeling like Kevin Federline at a Spears family reunion, I’d walk out of the store, redfaced and emptyhanded. Telling my mom about it generally resulted in her marching me back into the store and saying, “I’m here because none of you would help my daughter!” Not surprisingly, I generally kept the teenist treatment to myself.
Anyway, I’m not sure why last night’s waiter was so put off by his clientele; if you’re going to work at a restaurant that’s right beside a large movie theater and across the street from a high school, you’ve got to expect that teenagers will be eating there. I’m sure he’s seen his share of jerks, but 16 and her two friends obviously weren’t there to unscrew salt shakers and order free bread and water.
I guess I’m writing all this to say, American Cafe waiter dude, on behalf of nice teenagers everywhere and the parents who love them: Fuck you.
>It’s not any better in college when you live in a college town. Doctors won’t see you. no place will hire you because you’ll have a funny schedule and leave in the summer. Pizza guys don’t want to deliver to your dorm or house because they think you can’t afford a decent tip. It generally sucks.My husband is about to enter a master’s program. I hope we’re not getting ready to experience all that over again.
>I’m like your mom, I’m afraid. When you’re in customer service, you serve the customer whether they are 16 or 66. I’d be letting the manager know just how this waiter treats his customers. How can you teach teens to be respectful when they get this kind of crap?
>I was going to call today and complain, but 16 couldn’t remember the waiter’s name. She wished she could, though, when I told her I wanted to call!
>No kidding! What a dickhead!I once stole a waitress’ pen and didn’t leave her a tip because when my husband asked for a Guinness she said, “Ummmm…No!” and then just stood there staring at him until he understood that he should try ordering something else.She said this because they didn’t sell Guinness at the restaurant.I wrote on the back of the check, “Here’s your tip: if you don’t like your job GET ANOTHER ONE.”On the flip side, you do a good job and I’ll tip 25%+.
>Call anyways!! Im sure the manager could narrow it down to who was working. That was just so rude? Sorry we dont have butter? Unbelievable. They should have gotten better treatment and a discount.
>Oh my GOD!I’ve waited tables plenty, starting when I was 16, and I NEVER treated anyone like that. The concept of a work ethic seems to be missing from today’s workplace.
>I would call. I have waited tables and know the perspective of the waiter — he figured he was not getting a tip, so why bother? He needs a manager who will wake him up to the fact that his snap judgements are not appreciated or appropriate. True, many teens do not tip, they stay at tables a long time (so you don’t turn them and make tips off multiple tables), and they sometimes don’t have enough for the bill. The same crap happens with other folks too, not teens. But, as a SERVER you SERVE. If you don’t want the risk, don’t take the job. Usually every cheapo is offset by a big tipper…. that waiter needs to wake up.
>Definitely call. I’ve only recently stopped getting this treatment. I once had a lady on the bus to school spazz out, call me a princess, and refuse to let me out of my seat because she decided I hadn’t given her enough seat to sit on. And SHE HAD KEPT KICKING ME under the seat the entire trip. People. The treatment seems to be especially bad for girls.
>I second that!Guess he didn’t want a tip, huh?I always order water to drink – if anyone rolled eyes at me over it, I’d likely toss it in his face.Jerk-ola
>As an adult who waited tables as a teenager, I’m appalled that your daughter was treated that way. Of course, if she had asked to speak to a manager, the waiter would’ve told her they were ‘out of managers’ too! I think that every person should have to wait tables and/or check groceries before they are considered an ‘official’ adult. Gives you a whole different perspective!
>get his ass fired. or maybe he was stoned? who cares? GET HIS ASS FIRED!!!! yes, I am a vengeful bitch
>I think I would have been like you mom too. That is ridiculous!! There is no reason to treat anyone like that. Not even teenagers!! I think I would be talking to a manager or someone.
>I SO know how you feel. That happened to me a couple years ago when my friend and I went to a local restaurant for lunch. (We were both 19, though perhaps look a little younger). I haven’t seen such obnoxious treatment from waiters before or since. And we observed him dealing with a middle-aged couple quite differently. I don’t understand where that attitude comes from, but it’s clear such waiters should be put in their place and taught to respect their customers, no matter who they are.
>Well said.
>Wow that guy sucks. I hope 16 didn’t tip him…I know that plays into his behavior…but he sure didn’t deserve any tip. And I would so be calling the manager.My mom was a waitress most of her life and told me that leaving a penny on top of the tip that you leave (this was in the days of paying cash of course) meant great service…but leaving two pennies meant “you weren’t worth two cents.”Of course I don’t bother with that now days as most waitstaff have no idea what the pennies would mean.
>i agree. call. tell 16 to keep her chin up.
>That waiter was a jerk! What happened to good manners? His momma didn’t teach him right!
>I feel their pain – I remember being their age, and we would go to the local Denny’s, and get treated like CRAP even though we ordered food, sodas, and sometimes dessert. I always wanted to say to the server, “Look, you work at DENNY’S……..sorry, but that’s not my fault. If you were a better server, perhaps you could work at an upscale restaurant during the dinner shift, instead of Denny’s on the overnight-drunk shift.”
>When I was in college I was a waitress. I had my share of crappy tippers, etc., but you would be surprised at how many were ADULTS, not the teens. Teens were careful to do everything just the right way because of that kind of treatment, where adults felt since I was young they didn’t have to tip me the right way. Sometimes people are rude. In my experience it was more the grown up people being rude and lacking manners tahn the teens (if I had to generalize).
>I once said to a waitress (who was rude to me because I was dining alone except for the fascinating company of Jane Austen), “Have you ever seen Pretty Woman?””Yes.””Then you ought know to treat your customers better. I’m a 20% tipper. I will never dine in your section again.”
>Thanks for reminding me that my teen is more responsible and human than I think. :-)C
>Well said…and I loudly and heartily second it!
>Tell 16 the next time she encounters this to reply: “Are you the only employee here tonight? If so I need to talk to the manager, immediately, about us being served by a real waiter.”
>That’s just rude. Last weekend we took the whole band out and the bill came to over $500. That’s a lot of business to be rude to. Tell them that every customer should be treated right.
>I agree with Mooselet’s comment. Teens are people 2Happy trailsGP in Montana
>I’d be back in asking for a lineup for identification of the suspect. THEN I would give the manager a small smackerel of my synaptic reactions :o) And it would NOT be pretty.
>Fuck you indeed! I’m pissed just reading it. Call CALL!
>I remember being a young teenager in NYC and having this happen to me ALL THE TIME! Usually, when I was treated like that, I’d refuse to leave a tip. If the waiter chased after me for one, I’d typically reply, “You want a fucking tip? Here’s one. Don’t eat the yellow snow!”Alternatively, I’d give one of my patented obnoxiously precocious lectures on how the the word TIPS was originally derived as an acronym standing for “To Insure Prompt Service.”
>Go read waiterrant.net today – – he did the opposite!
>I think by calling? You’re showing 16 that she deserves better – that she is worth good service and that you place value on her as a teen. And you are also setting up waiter boy to learn a lesson he needs to learn. Let us know the outcome eh?
>Hi, here via Robin at Cruncy Bits! I couldn’t believe that treatment. They, and you, should complain to the management. That’s so unacceptable!
>I would call and ask who the male waiter was that worked that night at the certain time. Then I would raise hell.
>Just Damn. Is this still going on?Complain! Character is how you treat people who can do nothing for you in return. This jerk was low class.
>oh, I’ve got one better.A friend was in town on business and we were going to have dinner on his expense account. First we wanted to go and have drinks and either stay at that place or go elsewhere.We pulled into the parking lot of Mirror on 12th Avenue. Our feet had no sooner hit the pavement when a woman, presumably the owner, asked if we would be dining there. We told her our plan was to have drinks and then decide on dinner. She told us if we weren’t sure if we’d be dining there, she would prefer that we parked our car elsewhere so paying diners could park there.We got back into the car, left immediately and went and had a lovely dinner (over $80) elsewhere where we were welcomed.That was my THIRD and LAST encounter with that snooty bitch.Don’t ever both going there. Pretentious assholes.
>This is my first comment ever – I LOVE YOUR BLOG! This really hits a nerve with me. Kudos to your daughter for knowing WHY she was treated this way, however unfair it was. She’s way ahead of some of us. As a teenager, I wasn’t as savvy. When I was 16, I was shopping with a friend at a nice department store. We stopped by one of the cosmetic counters and were looking at eye shadows, when this (I can still picture her face clearly 24 years later) crabby sales lady asked, “Are you girls playing or shopping?”. I felt like I had done something wrong and we scurried out of there. It sounds silly, but I was intimidated by those makeup counters until I was 30! When I later got a job with Lancome – I learned a lot about treating those young customers RIGHT – as they will be your customers for life, if you treat them well.Three years ago I was asked to fill out a loan application before a dealership would let me test drive, over night, the luxury car I was interested in buying. What the mgr failed to see was, even if I couldn’t afford that car (which I could), he missed a golden opportunity to RETAIN me as a customer. Who’s to say he couldn’t have sold me a model with a lower price point? Needlesss to say I called and complained and bought the same car elswhere.I’ll never forget the car salesman who told me to “come back with my husband so he wouldn’t have to explain everything twice”!!! I reported this Neanderthal to his manager right away. It feels good to set people straight sometimes.
>I remember the same kind of thing happening to me when I was around 17 or so, with about 5 or 6 friends. We ended up leaving a very large tip, to show that we could and therefore the server should have been nice to us, and a note, explaining that the server really didn’t deserve the large tip and we deserved better service. We thought if we left the tip the server deserved, the server wouldn’t learn anything.
>Another thing to pass on to 16 is that not tipping is a perfectly valid response, but there are people who never tip no matter what the quality of the service. The best way to show your dissatisfaction is actually to leave just a penny. Trust me, the server will get the point.
>They left two dollars, which was ten percent of the bill. They didn’t want to not leave anything, because they knew that’s what he was expecting. I’m sure he was peeved at the two dollars, too, and figured it was because they were cheapskates, not because he was an asshole.
>Didn’t you teach them the two penny rule?When you are treated so poorly by a waiter, you leave two pennies. It lets them know you didn’t forget the tip, you just think they are such crap they don’t get one.My sister and I, at 15, had money to burn at an ICE CREAM place of all places, and the lady was rude and hardly responsive.So we left her two pennies, per our mother’s previous instructions during one of her ‘if this ever happens to you…do this…’ conversations. It was great watching her get the tip.