>Well, despite all of your thoughtful best wishes, my cork was not popped last night, ladies and gents. After a lovely dinner of Champagne Shrimp and Pasta, my husband went upstairs to “lie down for an hour.” And that was that. I didn’t see him again until 2006. I welcomed the New Year alone on […]

>It’s well documented that when a man and woman have a baby together, sex goes out the window. The blame is usually placed on lack of sleep, post-partum body issues, or an inability to find a time in which the baby isn’t awake or sleeping between the couple. But I would argue that another factor […]

> I have always wondered why the makers of Monopoly didn’t choose a more appropriate name like, say, Piss Off Your Loved Ones. When I was small, my brother loved the game. Over and over, after many hours of wheedling and cajoling, he would convince me to play it with him. And at first, everything […]

> Presenting the Dragon’s Kiss Truffle. Thank you, Hubs. I have no words.

> Creepiest Present Award It’s alive! It’s ALIVE! It seemed cute at the time- A fake weasel attached to a ball with a motor inside that makes it roll all over the everywhere. But now that we’ve brought the bugger home, well. It’s creepy. Baby follows it around, intrigued, but the moment it rolls her […]

>It had all the makings of the best Christmas Eve service ever. From the stage swelled the sounds of guitars, flutes, french horns, cellos, mandolins, a fiddle, and a goat skinned drum. The decorations were costly and impeccable; the singing was flawless. All my favorites were on the roster, from What Child is This to […]

>Judging from the Google and Yahoo searches that have led people to this yere website, I’m realizing that a lot of people out there in need are in dire need of my help. Seriously. So in the spirit of giving, here’s the first (and perhaps last) edition of: Lucinda’s Advice Column. You search. I advise.Santa […]

>The intensive training began weeks ago. “This is Santa Claus,” I told Baby, taking a large, carved Santa out of a packing box and placing him on the hearth. “Santa wears red. Santa has lots of toys.” “Tan-tah!” she said. “Tan-tah! Tan-tah!” “Santa will bring you toys on Christmas morning,” I said. “Can you give […]

>Since the holidays are really a major time of inactivity for us moms, I’m bored and am looking for a new raison d’etre. I was thinking that some sort of letter-writing campaign or protest would put my name on the map. Yeah, that’s it. I can see it now. Tonight on CNN, Lucinda, speaking out […]

> Margaret hosted play group yesterday. She is a perfectionist who would make other perfectionists envious. Her house is always flawlessly cleaned and decorated whenever I visit. Her playroom carpet, on which her baby ostensibly plays, is whiter than white (mine, on the other hand, is stained beyond all recognition). How does she do it??? […]