> Wanna hear a dirty secret? No? Too bad. I have an inner brat. I realized this two weekends ago, when Hubs and I were invited to a swank executive suite for an NFL game. After several rounds of “Where do we park?” and “How the hell do we get to the executive suites?”, we […]

>After months of planning, hours of labor and scores of anxiety-ridden sleepless nights, I placed my double-chocolate-glazed-coconut-almond-cake-with-white-chocolate-filling on the table yesterday evening, ready to face off against the best of the best in my own Christmas dessert cage match… er… party. Here’s my contribution:Pretty? Yes. Tasty? Well… The added layer made it look better, but […]

>God, I want so much to be a happy suburban housewife. But I spend way too much time agonizing over how to feed this gnawing inside me for something more than carpooling and coupon clipping. While Hubs seems content to stoically soldier on in pursuit of a Perfect Family Experience, I’m likely to stay up […]

>”So about this dessert thing you’re having on Saturday,” my friend Susan said on the phone this morning. “I don’t have to bring something really extravagant, do I?” “Absolutely not,” I said. “Some people make desserts and some buy them from the store. And the funny thing is, with all the kids here, the store-bought […]

At 3:30am, I’m woken from a deep sleep by an eerie sound. “Uhhhhoooooooh. Ohhhhhhhhhoooh. Eeeeeeeeeeaaaaaahhhhhh.” It’s coming from the baby monitor. I look over at the screen to see Baby standing in her crib, moaning in an otherworldly voice that she never uses when she’s awake. “Hmmmmmmmmmmaaaahhhhh.” “Eeeeeeeoohhhhhhh.” I wait, bleary-eyed, hoping she’ll go back […]

I have a fear of dressing rooms. It’s not the mirrors and lighting that bother me. It’s that slit between the curtain and the wall. The spaces between the slats in the door. The little openings that anyone could peep through and get an eyeful of me in my oldest pair of underwear, trying to […]

Okay, people, we’ve got a crisis on our hands. This afternoon, 12 was doing her homework in the playroom when she came hurtling out of the room with a bewildered Baby in her arms. “Baby just cussed,” she reported breathlessly. “Cussed,” I repeated. “What did she say exactly?” “She said…. THE ‘F’ WORD.” “What?!” I […]

There’s something of a stroller prejudice in our society. Most everyone seems a bit annoyed by the space they take up on sidewalks, in elevators and in store aisles. Even in a children’s clothing store, the racks are way too close together for a stroller-pushing mama to even think about getting through. I’ve been forced […]

It almost always hits me toward the end of a holiday break. And last night was no exception. Crumbs littered the floor. Cups and plates covered every surface in the playroom. Dirty sneakers had been casually thrown into a dining room chair. Various dried spills dotted the kitchen counters. Toddler toys were just… everywhere. I […]

Susie Sunshine caused quite a stir in Blogland last week when she claimed the number one spot on the Google search for “drunken housewife.” Well, I was a bit miffed. Slightly panicked. I had always thought of myself as the Number One Drunken Housewife. I was even planning on having a t-shirt made that said […]